Haiku & Kola 2: Relationship Problems
by Workaholic Praxian
Summary: The sequel to 'Haiku & Kola.' The two girls from ancient healers are back, Haiku Uchiha and Kola Terra. What's in store for them now? Will Itachi and Zetsu be able to express their true feelings?
1. Chapter 1: The Traitor Returns

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

**Haiku & Kola 2:**

**Relationship Problems**

**Chapter 1: The Traitor Returns

* * *

**

**Author's Note: Yay, I'm starting the sequel! I can't wait to see how this one goes! I know, I'm a bit too excited… I'm just so happy i have people who wanted the sequel! Now… where to start?

* * *

**

Orochimaru sat at his desk. He was looking through some files on a few selected Leaf Ninja he had stolen when there was a soft knock at his door. "Come in."

Kabuto came in, but he wasn't alone. A thin man with a torn shirt, brown hair and tanned skin quietly followed Kabuto.

"Who is this?" Orochimaru eyed this person he had never seen before.

"He should be able to help us."

"For the right price." The skinny man added in.

"What's you're name?"

"Nikku… Terra."

* * *

Itachi woke up when he heard the usual 'thunk.' Some things just never changed. He wasn't sure why or how, but he always slept well when Haiku would fall off the couch at least once in the night. Even better when she shared the bed with him. She refused to do that ever since she was stuck in his bed for that week her chakra was inaccessible to her. But she did keep her skin color how it was supposed to be. Itachi thought it was because he said he liked it when she had pale skin like his. He did hear that all Uchiha men were like that last time he asked for Haiku to share the bed with him.

He got her back up on the couch and kissed her on the forehead. Unlike him, she took it off when she was going to sleep at home or here for that matter. She mumbled something from her dream and then turned onto her side.

He wondered whatever happened to that bell on the red string. He remembered her throwing it on the ground, but it floated into the air and disappeared.

Itachi couldn't stop himself from entering Haiku's memory. It had been a while since last time anyway.

* * *

"_Are you ok Munchy?" Haiku looked over to a little Kola._

"…" _Haiku's gaze turned back to the sliding door she was staring through while sitting on the floor right in front of it._

"_Munchy?"_

"…"

_Itachi could once again see through Haiku's eyes._

"_NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! MOMMY, DADDY, MUNCHY'S GONE DEAF!!!!!!!!!" Kola screamed._

"…" _Idiot._

_Wait a minute… did he just hear her thoughts?_

_Footsteps signaled two people taking their time to get to this floor._

"_Munchy! Speak! Can you hear me?!" Haiku was being shaken back and forth by her shoulders._

_Where are they? Don't they even miss me? They aren't coming… are they? Tears welled up in her eyes._

"_DAD, MOM! MUNCHY'S HURT!!!!"_

_The two people made it to the floor. They ran over to where Haiku was sitting._

"_What's going on, my little Smiling Blossom?" It was Kola's mother, Kolima. The same exact person he saw in a lot of the pictures on the floor right before Haiku's, the 47__th__._

"_Munchy started crying… AND SHE'S NOT TALKING!!!"_

"_That doesn't mean anything, Kola." The man Itachi saw with Kolima said. So this must be Hakuno._

"_Is there something on your mind you want to talk to us about?" Kolima asked._

"_I don't belong here." Nor anywhere else other than with my parents._

_Kola gasped, "You fixed Munchy! YAY!!!"_

"_Why's that young Uchiha?" Hakuno questioned._

"_I don't fit in here." But did I really fit in back home? …No…_

"_Why don't you? Is it because of how you look?"_

"_That too. And I like using the fire element when I trained with Dad, not plants." Everyone looks at me funny when I'm outside of the house anyway._

"_We can find a way to help you fit in more if that's what you want to do."_

"_This is a strange place. No one wants to kill me nor have they tried yet." It's not like it really bothered me much when groups of kids a little bit older than me would gang up and try and kill me. I just didn't want to hurt anyone. Why did they slowly start to disappear after that? Was Daddy somehow involved in that?_

"_But that should be a good thing. Why would someone want to kill a little cutie like you?" Kolima smiled._

"_Cause of who my parents are." They could never manage to kill them in the first place so they wanted to kill me in their places. Plus they didn't like the idea of two temperamental masters of torture to be around the Village. "They didn't like the fact my Dad's the founder and current leader of the Uchiha Clan." They thought I was a worthless piece of trash that should be disposed of because they didn't want the possibility of someone like me to be leader._

"_Is there anyone you could stay with until your parents are found other than us?"_

"_Kolima, why do you want to know the answers to all of these questions?"_

"_We need to talk to the clan elders to make sure it's alright for an outsider to live among us."_

"_The Hokage might. Everyone in my clan would just want to get rid of me since I'm not sure if I'm immortal or not. All of the numerous assassination attempts failed." Except there is Mikoto and her family. "I have no friends." They all mysteriously disappeared if I got one, or they would avoid me, or join the assassination attempts to get rid of me. Except Itachi… "No one except my parents wanted to be around me." Except Itachi. "The only ones I can rely on other than the Hokage is my parents…" Itachi and his family._

"_Surely you had one good friend before getting caught in that flood."_

"_I called him Mammal." Haiku whispered. "Him and his family's household are the only others."_

"_Do you want us to bring you to your friend?"_

"_If you do that, people might want to assassinate them for being friends with me. I don't want them to get hurt."_

"_YAY! MUNCHY WANTS TO STAY!!!!!"_

"_Now Kola, just remember it has to be ok with the elders." Hakuno reminded his extremely excited daughter._

"_I won't stop screaming if the elders don't want me to keep my new pet sister!" Kola declared._

_Hakuno and Kolima both paled._

* * *

Itachi was perfectly satisfied with what he saw in Haiku's memory. Then what Kola said echoed in his mind…

* * *

"_If she likes the person or cares a lot, then she'll allow that person who happened to enter her memory see, feel, taste what she experienced, hear her thoughts and stuff like that while in the memory. Could you hear what she thought?"_

* * *

Itachi had the sudden thought to ask Haiku to be his girlfriend again. Kola was telling him if she cared a lot for him, then what he experienced from her memory showed him that she honestly cared a lot for him. Despite the 'I'll initiate you if you even _dare_ touch me inappropriately again.' appearance. She really was an odd one, yet he had somehow fallen madly in love with her. She just didn't know the true extent. No, only the surface of his affections have ever been showed to her. He'd do _anything_ to get her to feel the same for him. Or at least have a relationship with him. Most of all, Itachi really wanted to know what Haiku thought of him.

What he did pick up from that memory was she wanted to protect him and his family from those who constantly wished to assassinate her. She didn't want him or his family to die in her place. He was her only friend and she wished to protect him, no matter what. Now that's what he called a very loyal friend. Just what Itachi's own father said to him, how great it would be for the founder's kid to be friends with you because not only are they trustworthy, loyal, dependable, but you can also train and learn from each other.

* * *

Muki was wandering around the Akatsuki Base in the middle of the night. She just wanted to stretch her legs, possibly pull some pranks, and of course make Madara worried sick out of his mind about the possibility of her having another man, when she suddenly halted right in front of a closed door. Curious as to whose room it was, she quietly opened the door and peeked around the frame.

This room that she had never ventured inside had two sleeping people inside. One was on the bed while the other was on the couch. Seeing Hidan's room made her a little more guarded about which rooms she explored at night. Hidan didn't scare her or anything; he'd just… _surprised_ her.

The person on the couch obviously wasn't sleeping very well. On closer examination since it was a bit hard to see in the very dark room, the figure who's tossing and turning on the couch was… her Little Princess. A smile crept onto Muki's face, and it wasn't the usual smirk she used when she was going to make Madara pay for something that could be as simple as leaving the toilet seat up or nothing at all. Haiku sure had grown, but it was misfortunate she was more like _the_ Ass instead of her. At least she had the Sotaki's strategic mind. That she proved when she beat the entire organization with the exceptions of Tobi, Zetsu and Kola who only got a small little paper cut on her finger.

THUNK

Now that was something Muki wasn't expecting. As if in a play, Itachi got up without any delay, only a small fraction of him was actually awake, and went to Haiku's side. Muki was just standing out of the way, watching what was going on. He got her back on the couch, tucked her in and tenderly kissed her on the forehead. After that, he climbed back into bed and slept away.

Now when did the Uchiha _man_ sleep in the comfortable bed while the _woman_ slept on the **couch**? That would just _not_ work in her household even if Madara _was_ brave enough to try it on her. Muki would personally banish Madara to the couch, and she had no problems doing that to _the_ Incompetent Ass.

It wasn't long before it all started again. But this time, Haiku got up and slept walked straight out of the room without Itachi noticing one bit.

* * *

I stretched out and my hand hit a foot. Where exactly was I?

"Don't you dare fucken touch me you fucken bitch!" Hidan screamed.

"Urg… Here again." I said to myself. I really needed to stop sleepwalking. Who knows where I'd be next. I pulled myself out from under the kitchen table and carried the blanket with me.

"What are you doing there, un?" Deidara asked.

I turned to face him. "Sleepwalking." A crane landed on my shoulder. Everyone flinched. It was like they were _actually_ afraid of my crane army. It was _only_ five hundred with me that day. Honestly, how hard is it to get rid of paper?! And how in the world could a group of S-Ranked Ninja be defeated by only those cranes?

I ventured off into the land that was like a winter wonderland. Snowflakes falling, soft snow to walk on, it was peaceful. I was wearing a black turtleneck with a pair of black pants and gloves. It was just nice to go out on a walk. All the sudden, a crane wanted to talk to me.

"Hello?" I asked.

"It's me, Itachi."

"I know who _you_ are."

"Then what am I?"

"An ass."

"I thought I was an asshole and a stalker."

"Nah… You're a stalker and an ass."

"Where are you?"

"None of your business."

"Yes it is."

"Why, so you can stalk me?"

"I just want to know where you're going."

"Do I really have to possess a location in which I'm heading?"

"I just want to walk with you."

"You'll scare the snow birds away."

"I won't."

"Yes you will."

"How?"

"Not smiling makes them afraid."

"I want to talk to you in person."

"Why?"

"Do I _have_ to need a reason?"

"…Yeah…"

"Where are you?"

"The green apple tree where I defeated you all two weeks ago."

"I'm coming."

"I'll be waiting."

* * *

"Sonya, when are you going to make the cherry pies for Christmas?"

"Later Shikamaru."

"Hey Sonya, I'm never very good at picking out presents for a girl, but as my sister, what do you want?"

"I don't know."

"But aren't you _supposed_ to know what you want in advanced? You're a _woman_ after all."

"Don't mean I know what I want."

"Do you have any missions you're going on soon?"

"Not that I know of."

"Are you still bummed out from failing that mission?"

"What makes you think _that_?"

"Look, it was seventeen days ago! Just let it go."

"Both Kola and Haiku possess enough strength to completely wipe out the entire village. Forget that, one alone could do that by herself!"

"What a drag!"

* * *

"About time you got here."

"It didn't take very long."

"What'd you want to talk to me about?"

"I want to date you."

"No."

Itachi easily pinned Haiku to the apple tree's trunk. He whispered seductively in her ear, "_Why not_?"

Haiku was completely unaffected by his actions. "No."

Itachi pressed his lips against hers. "Please?" He kissed her again, but it wasn't the same as when she healed him with that kiss two weeks ago. She wasn't kissing him back.

"I don't want you to get hurt." Haiku disappeared into the ground before reappearing right next to him. "That's why I can't date _anyone_."

"I don't care. I _want_ to be with you."

"I know my fate, and I'm keeping to it." Haiku started continuing on her walk.

Itachi caught up with her, "And I know I'm supposed to be with you."

"That doesn't mean crap."

"Then your fate is crap too."

"Itachi. Look at me, I killed my first and only boyfriend because of what I later called my Inner Muki got out and greatly disliked him. He was _ripped_ into two pieces for goodness sake! Just listen to me and stay away."

"I already experienced it before. I do believe you're Inner Muki liked me."

"When I was in a relationship, my Inner Muki took control."

"I'll be fine."

"Muki isn't someone you can mess around with and get away with it."

"I can deal with her."

"Hn. You're almost as stubborn as me."

"I love you, I really do. I learned last night how much you care about me. You even wished to protect me when you first joined Kola's clan."

"You're really snoopy."

"What do I have to do to prove to you, there will be nobody else but you?"

Haiku jumped into the ground. She was now nowhere to be found.

"Why me?"

"Because you're an incompetent ass like _the_ ass himself. Kukukuku."

"Whose there?"

The voice faded away. "Kukuku…"

* * *

Flame curled up tighter in his den. He was getting cold. This wasn't an everyday occurrence either. No, it was just way colder than the dragon den had ever been in his lifetime.

Diamond left her own den to join her brother right next to her own. Maybe he was warm enough to keep her warm too. This was really strange weather they were having. The snow outside was at least ninety feet deep and frozen over. There wasn't much room to get out of the main entryway; only ten feet, which was, only enough room to keep clean air circulating. They were all pretty much stuck at their 'home', but at least they had plenty of food.

"Flame?"

"Yeah?"

"It's cold."

"Even I'm cold."

Diamond curled up to her usually warmer than her, little brother. "Why is it like this all the sudden?"

"I don't know; you're the _older_ one!"

"Yeah, but I'm not young enough to know everything."

"Did you ever find anything about Haiku's parents?"

"That I did. They where spotted traveling around in the forest where you said the Akatsuki Base was located. Their mansion is also hidden inside a deep forest, where it won't be found."

"Do you know anything else so that we can inform Haiku of this?"

"Madara's been going under the alias of a complete moron named Tobi."

"Tobi?!"

"Yeah."

"Does he wear an orange swirled mask by any chance?"

"That's what I heard."

"…"

"What's going on?"

"He's in the Akatsuki."

* * *

Madara sneezed. "I think someone's talking about me."

Muki hit Madara upside the head. "Superstitious Ass."

Madara glared at Muki, but couldn't help rubbing his head where he was smacked. She would only be visible when she was around Madara alone.

Muki was acting like she was going to wonder off again until she gave Madara a sideways glance, her arms crossed. "You aren't the only incompetent ass around here anymore."

Madara instantly looked up, "WHAT?!"

Muki smirked right before walking out of their room.

Madara on the other hand, was left, wondering what in the **hell** she was talking about _this_ time?!

* * *

Kola flipped through the pages of the book. What to do now? "Zetsu! Lookie over here!"

"Kola, what is it **this time?**" Zetsu merged into the floor of their room.

"Haiku was talking to Itachi."

"What's **you're point?**"

"He _wanted_ to **date** her!!!!!"

"**That's nothing new.**"

"But he _even_ kissed her twice!"

"_Really_?"

"Yeah. Do you _really_ believe I'd lie to **you**?"

"Not really. **But this **_**is**_** Haiku's life you're messing with.**"

"But I _chose_ to keep her in our clan! She was a great pet!"

"She was your adoptive sister. **Not you're pet.**"

"No, she was my pet."

"When was that decided?"

"The day she joined the family."

"**That doesn't mean she's a pet.**"

"To me she is!"

"Why do you act like this?"

"You looked _so_ adorable in this baby picture!" Kola giggled.

"What picture?!"

"See? This one. You're so adorable with you're little binky, and your diaper. Oh and don't forget the line separating the two Zetsu halves!"

"**Don't you **dare** show anyone those.**"

"OK!!!!!"

"KOLA! **GET BACK HERE THIS MINUTE!**"

"If you can catch me!"

Zetsu charged after Kola, with baby pictures being tossed along the hallways as she ran. Technically, she wasn't showing them to anyone, they just happened to see them lying around. Everywhere.

* * *

Tobi was just about stomping around, where the **hell** was Muki? She needed to explain herself right this instant! Who was this 'other' person that she spoke of? How could she be with **ANOTHER** man!

He bumped into Haiku. Madara was going to say some snide remark, but then he remembered just who she was. After all, she was half Muki and Muki would carefully plan revenge and then when you're least expecting it… then it's like you're zapped by lightning!

"Sorry about that Tobi."

"Um… Tobi's a good boy?"

Haiku stopped in her tracks. "Why a question and not a statement?"

"Tobi's not _feeling_ well right now."

"What's wrong? You sick?"

"Tobi is mentally depressed."

"Wait… What?"

"Tobi no longer has Tobi's cookies."

"Ok then…" Haiku hurried off.

Tobi could barely hear her mumble to herself, "Weirdo."

Madara was going to find this man and beat him to death even if it took him the rest of his immortal life just to find him! "Madara's a bad boy." Madara said with a glower. Yes, this 'other' man would pay for taking Muki from him.

* * *

"Itachi, where's Haiku?" Pein looked completely uninterested.

"I don't know."

"Is there someway to contact her?" Konan carefully wiped her mouth off with the pure white napkin.

"Doesn't mean she'll tell." Itachi looked impassive the whole time.

"She shouldn't be wandering around in the snow alone, un." Deidara shoved a spoonful of soup into his mouth. A mouth on his hand took a bite out of his bread slice.

"She'll be back before long." Kola smiled when Zetsu merged into the floor. He apparently just now finished picking up the very last baby photo that was laying in the middle of the floor in Pein's room of all places.

"**She's** **about a hundred **miles away from here." Zetsu confirmed.

Itachi could just barely catch a glimpse of Pein twitching, "…WHAT THE **HELL** IS SHE DOING OVER THERE?!?!?"

"Oh she'll be back before you know it." Kola was positive about this.

* * *

I was just enjoying the scenery during my long travel to a small town near the Leaf Village. I know, I know, if I'm found, then I'd be known a traitor to the same village I grew up in, because I willingly went back to the Akatsuki, but to get these ingredients, I need to go to a small town in the Leaf Village area. This is where I'll be able to find them the quickest. Now that I think about it, it would have been quicker to just teleport there and back in the first place, but I wanted to take a nice walk and think.

* * *

**Author's Note: So, what do you think? It was good… right? Let me know what you think of this first chapter and do you think it's a good idea to work on this second book? Your opinions are greatly appreciated! Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2: The Partnership

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

**Haiku & Kola 2:**

**Relationship Problems**

**Chapter 2: The Partnership

* * *

**

Haiku teleported to the entryway of the Akatsuki's Base. Performing the usual hand signs, she was allowed into the HQ. With one shake of her vine-constructed umbrella, it closed up for her. She strolled down the empty hallways and put away the items she collected into the proper places in the kitchen.

"I see you've come back." Pein was standing at the doorway.

"I just wanted to take a nice walk." Haiku explained.

"Then why over a hundred miles away?"

"Cause I know the exact location of these ingredients in some of the small towns around the Leaf Village."

"Did anyone see you?"

"No."

"Were you followed?"

"No."

Tobi was listening in on the conversation from around the corner.

"Don't be cocky. We don't want our location to be given away and surrounded."

Haiku's usual smile turned into a death glare. "Are you _calling_ me incompetent?"

Madara suddenly wanted to know exactly how she acted when she was angry. Not with her Inner Madara unleashed that is. He was already surprised to see she was very similar to him so far…

"If there is even a chance of you being followed here, we'll have to set up posts to take out the Leaf Ninja."

She still stayed quiet while she spoke to Pein, which wasn't a good sign. "No one calls me incompetent, not even _you_."

"I never said that."

"Just remember this Pein, you've never seen what I can really do. Don't get me angry."

Pein went completely tense, the muscles in his shoulders twitched in irritation. As much as he loathed being openly threatened by _anyone_ like this, he knew she was holding back when she fought them. After all, she beat them with _paper cranes_, not even laying a single finger on _any_ of them! She was even capable of outsmarting Itachi with great ease, and she was _still_ holding back. He had to be careful he _didn't_ get her angry. There would be _**NO**_ way the Akatsuki could take her out. If that were to happen, Madara would be their only hope. Kola wouldn't help on either side and if so, it would be her sister's side, even if it was only a little bit.

Even Madara tensed at the prospect of losing his entire organization because _she_ got mad. It's not like _he_ had anything to worry about… But if she was to start killing them off… Pein would want him to kill his own _daughter_ and that's not something he would **ever** do for _anyone_, not even Pein.

She took a green apple off the counter and walked mere inches past him. "You don't have _that_ much to worry about… I don't care much for fighting."

As soon as Haiku was gone, Pein let out a deep breath. That would help him sleep just a little bit better tonight, but not much. He had never imagined this woman _could_ kill him and the rest of the organization if she simply wished and _by herself_. That's bad. That's **VERY** bad.

* * *

"There you are Haiku." Itachi had just pulled back the comforter on his bed.

"Hey."

"Did Pein talk to you yet? If so, you should probably go find him."

"He needs to learn to _not_ call me incompetent."

Itachi quickly turned to see her. "What did you do?"

"Don't worry. I didn't kill him. Nor did I even touch him."

"_You_ don't need to touch him to kill him."

"I didn't hurt him in any way, shape, or form. Happy?"

"Not quite."

"I just threatened him."

"What happened after that?"

"He tensed up and his shoulders twitched in what I'm guessing was irritation. He was like that because he most likely realized I can easily kill him and there wouldn't be anything he could really do. Not like I'd _want_ to kill the Akatsuki off."

"You got a point."

"Why are you not quite fully happy?"

"I want you to be my girlfriend."

"No."

"Why not?"

"I already told you."

"I know you're afraid of hurting me, but please Haiku. Let our relationship have a chance."

"You just don't understand what happened when I was twelve."

"I will if you tell me."

"Do you remember what I was like before I was separated from my parents?"

"Cute, innocent, trustworthy, extreme pacifist."

"After that incident, I changed to be to who I am now."

"What changed?"

"You _really_ haven't noticed? If someone attacks me, I fight back. Before, I would just accept the beating."

"That's a good thing."

"That's when I became more like my parents. Before, both sides were as you could say 'locked' up. Now they are traits that are easier unleashed. Or you didn't notice that too?"

"How's all of that bad?"

"Before, my Inner Muki had **never** been unleashed. My Inner Madara became a little bit more common. I would **never** initiate _anyone_. You get my point."

"But it could turn out to be good."

"I'm still not dating you."

"Why not?"

"Good night." Haiku got comfortable on the couch. Itachi sighed, but he too went to sleep after doing the usual task of turning out the lights.

* * *

_Mom, Dad and I had just set up camp in the middle of our trip when it became dark. I was looking up at the sky, thinking about the dark gray, menacing clouds overhead. A ripple of lightning darted from one cloud to another. I sat up and stared into the dying down fire._

"_You need to sleep, Little Princess." Dad sat up from his comfortable position next to the figure of my sleeping mother._

"_You incompetent… ass." Muki mumbled in her dream._

"_I can't sleep."_

"_Come here."_

"_Yes Daddy." I stood up, walked over to him and sat back down next to him._

_He gave me a great big hug. I could feel the comforting and all familiar warmth of a master fire wielder radiating off of him. I just never wanted him to let me go. I could feel my eyelids getting heavy, so I gave in to the sleep, with Dad keeping me close and warm._

* * *

_I opened up an eye when the warmth of my father's arms disappeared completely. I sat up and scanned the area with my sharingun for my beloved parents, but they were nowhere to be found. A large raindrop hit me square in the forehead, followed by a thick downpour. "Mom, Dad?" I called out to them but no one answered._

_I saw my parents walk back into the clearing. A faint stench of blood was on their hands, but the rain was already washing away any signs of a fight they just won. It was probably another assassin attempt on my life. They most likely stayed nearby, but at the same time, far enough away so I wouldn't be attacked in my sleep._

"_Haiku, we're going to higher ground." Mom said._

"_Ok Mommy, but look how much higher the water got!" I stared at the raging brown liquid rushing by._

"_Come on." Dad insisted._

"_Ok!" I turned around and started to follow when a ninja showed up out of nowhere and pushed me in even if it meant he joined me in the watery doom. It was like a reflex for my parents to be able to kill him in mere seconds. Dad's hand was so close to mine, but I was unable to reach. The water was tugging and pulling me under. When my head bobbed to the surface, I saw Mom in a tree, attempting to chase me down from the safety of the branches._

_"We'll get you! I promise, Little Princess!" Dad was using his massive amount of chakra to charge towards me from on top of the surface of the tricky water. I hit an even faster stretch and was being pulled away even faster than ever, but they couldn't see me. I was underwater again, and I couldn't breathe._

* * *

"MOMMY, DADDY, WHERE ARE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed so loud, I woke up. I felt like I couldn't breathe. It was like my body was gasping for air.

Itachi was right at my side, sitting right next to me and trying to find out what happened that caused the tears to stream down my face. I turned so my back would be up against the back of the couch.

To my surprise, Tobi was suddenly there too. He put his hand on my other shoulder. How in the world could he hear me from all the way where his room was?

I didn't care. I just wanted my parents back. My father lied to me. He promised he'd get me, but I don't even know where in this huge world they even were.

"What's the matter Haiku?" Itachi's concerned eyes stared straight into my own, but it was like this was making his eyes water up too.

"Don't worry, Haiku. Everything will be better. Tobi promises." Tobi was sitting on the other side of me.

"He promised he'd get me!" I blurted out.

Tobi immediately froze up. I didn't know why, nor did I really notice. Madara on the other hand, knew exactly what I was referring to all too well and felt guilty all the sudden. Him and Muki had searched high and low for their Little Princess, but they could never find her. Not even at the village or at home. Her stuff was missing and no one knew anything.

"Incompetent." The voice scolded, but it seemed as if it were directed at someone other than me.

"Tobi's a good boy." Tobi insisted.

"Why? Why, Itachi? Why didn't they come find me?" I sobbed.

"Who?"

"My parents!"

"I don't know, Haiku. I don't know." Itachi hugged me.

I got the feeling Tobi was glaring at Itachi for no apparent reason…

Tobi clutched his head. "That hurt Tobi!"

"Kukuku."

I laughed just the slightest bit. Wiping my face clean of tears, the thought came back to my mind… "Show yourself Mother."

"No."

"Then tell me where Dad is. It honestly can't be _that_ idiot next to me."

"Kuku. You're Father's incompetent."

"Am not."

"Are too."

I stood up to face Tobi. "Daddy? How can _I_ be related to _that_ idiot and how could _that_ be Madara?!"

"I am too your father, and I kept my promise even if it did take a while."

Tobi was smacked again. "Incompetent."

Itachi stared wide-eyed at Madara. "How can you be Madara-sama?"

"Sharingun." Madara erased the memory of this event from Itachi and made him go to sleep.

"What'd you do that for?"

"He shouldn't know."

I calculated the exact location of Muki and gave her a hug. Even she wasn't expecting to be found, yet alone hugged. "How'd you find me, Little Princess?"

"From you talking."

"See Madara, she has _my_ mind."

Madara unmasked himself. "What did you to do your hair?!?!?!"

"Hid it." Madara revealed his still very long, spiky hair.

"Aren't you going to give your long lost daughter a hug?" I had a sincere little smile.

He got up to give me a hug, but I couldn't resist eating one of his long bangs since it _was_ _right there_.

I took a step away from him. "Why haven't you shown yourselves earlier?"

"Sharingun."

The last thing I remember was being caught as I was beginning to fall to the ground. I too fell asleep.

"You incompetent ass! You're **not** supposed to do that to her."

"Did you _really_ want to answer that question?"

"Doesn't mean you need to go sharingun _every_ time something doesn't go the way _you_ planned and erase their memories."

"She's sleeping better."

"You're such an ass."

* * *

Who is that? Is that Itachi with his hair out of a ponytail? No wonder he keeps it in a low ponytail!

What's going on?

When did I start sleeping in a bed instead of the couch?

Where am I? Oh yeah… I'm in Itachi's room.

Why am I like this exactly? Why am I using Itachi's chest as a pillow?

How did I get like this? I can't remember _anything_ from last night!

Oh my god, he better not be nude… _I_ better not be naked!

"Is everything ok? You're tense."

"What… happened last night?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing."

"We better not of…"

"If I did, I'd remember."

"_That's comforting_."

"You're only missing your shirt and bra."

"Is this one of Kola's sick pranks?"

"I don't think it's sick to wake up with the woman you want to be with half naked."

I got up and put my black shirt on over another bra. After that, I had to search high and low for my missing clothing. I liked that green shirt!

"What's the hurry?"

"Did _you_ do this?" I glared over at him.

"No." Itachi smirked, "Why don't we enjoy this morning together… alone?"

With the same tone Itachi used and a smile on my face, "Why don't I shove my machete up your ass?"

"If you're expressing your affections, maybe. If your anger, hell no."

"Why don't we just see which it is."

Itachi saw the evil smirk on my face. He started backing away from me. "I'd rather not show affections right now…"

* * *

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!"

Everyone eating breakfast looked around to see if the other Akatsuki members knew where the screaming was coming from.

"Un… Is that Itachi-san?" Deidara asked the silent group.

Itachi screamed again.

"Poor Itachi." Kisame sighed.

"What 'd he do _this_ time?" Konan pulled out a piece of origami paper to work with.

"Could be a great many things; I just don't know her well enough to narrow down the topic. I wouldn't want to be in Itachi's position, that's for sure." Kakuzu got up from the table.

Itachi once again screamed.

"I can bet you anything it's because Itachi fucked Haiku too hard or something fucken stupid like that." Hidan stated.

"It's unlikely it's your theory." Pein said.

"Then what do you fucken think the fucken reason is?"

"Feels like it?"

Itachi screamed in agony while begging for mercy.

* * *

Kola was on her way to the living room when she noticed Tobi taking little baby steps up ahead. Now where did she see that walking style before… Oh yes, how could she forget? STALKER! That is after he had been initiated. From what she knew, Haiku and her mother were the only ones who did that kind of stuff and her mother wasn't here now is she? Does that mean Haiku tested Tobi because Tobi was a… bad boy? If so, then she heard it all!

Kola ran up to Tobi. "Tobi, did Haiku initiate you?"

Tobi froze up when he heard initiate. Madara wondered how in the world she was able to figure that out, or was it something that wasn't that hard to figure out? Damn this stupid walking after initiation! At least he knew he still had Muki's affections; even if there was 'another' man out there somewhere…

"Tobi, what happened? Did she get mad at you?"

Madara had to come up with a quick lie. "Tobi was climbing a really tall tree, but Tobi slipped and fell on Tobi's butt. Now Tobi hurts…"

"You want me to make the pain go away?" Kola offered.

"NO!" Muki would be angry if he no longer felt pain from her affections early. "Tobi will be fine. Tobi thanks Soda for Soda's generous offer for Tobi."

* * *

Kola was the only person in the living room. She mindlessly changed channels, waiting to see which one managed to catch her attention. She had the sudden feeling there was someone else in this room. "Ghostie!"

"I'd like to offer you a deal."

"Really? What would that be Ghostie?"

"A partnership in getting Haiku and Itachi together."

"I've been trying for a while now."

"I know that, but you've been around Haiku for quite a long time, and so I want to enlist your help."

"OK!!!!!!!!"

"You sure are filled with excitement. Kukukuku."

"Where should we start, oh Ghostie of the Akatsuki Base?"

* * *

"Flame, are you _actually_ cold?"

Flame lifted his head to see the pure white dragon with light blue eyes in the entrance to his room. "It's really cold."

The female dragon spotted the black dragon curled up to Flame. "And Diamond fell asleep in here too?"

"It's a whole lot colder than it usually is this time of year."

"It doesn't bother me one bit."

"That's you, not us."

"You'd think one of my young wouldn't be bothered by icy weather."

"I'm more like Dad, what would you expect?"

"There you are… Frost." A voice rumbled behind the white dragon.

She turned her head to get a good look at her mate. "What? You where _actually _looking for me?"

"Who else would I be looking for?" A dragon with coloring like that of lava and brown eyes questioned.

"Oh I don't know, Magma." Frost smiled.

"Hi Dad." Flame didn't move because he didn't wish to disturb his sleeping sister.

"The weather's also getting to you of all dragons?"

Flame nodded his head.

"Strange weather this year…" Magma sighed.

Flame father left. His mother followed behind as they headed off to their own den. Why did he have to be the baby of the family? They all had something special about them. Something that made them unique.

His father who was the biggest, strongest, wisest, oldest of all of them and wields the power of molten lava. He's not one to start fights unless it's to protect someone he cares about. Unlike Diamond, he doesn't mind being summoned what so ever. Neither does Frost or himself. Diamond just wants to fight in wars. The 'stronger' dragon is usually the wisest and that goes hand in hand with the oldest. Experience is the real winner here. If only Diamond would understand that better.

His beautiful mother who was still longer than her children, but not as long as Magma. She was slender, but that didn't mean she wasn't also strong. She's a dragon of ice or you could also say snow, just because it was in the same category. He had to admit, his mother may not be the strongest in the family, but she is the fastest because of how her body's designed.

His arrogant sister. She has a stronger build, but they just about always tie in wrestling competition. Her black scales that are just as tough as diamonds. Many humans want her scales for their own armor, but it's not like they'd ever get their greedy little hands on them or even remove just one single scale. Because of her scales, Diamond knows no pain. She doesn't completely understand the concept; no one would if they never dealt with it before. She simply believed her 'armor' was impenetrable and was thereby invisible in a battle unless a stronger dragon got her pinned, but she'd never give up unless Haiku would tell her to. Even that would be a fifty-fifty chance. If not still had the chances of her giving up to be a whole lot less!

What was he other than the baby of the family? Sure he was a fire dragon, but didn't possess as much heat as his own father when he wanted. He was faster than Diamond, but even his father managed to beat him in races. It was easy to see how Frost was able to win every time. Build wise, Diamond was more like Magma and he's more like his mother, Frost. To Diamond, in the winter, he was like her own personal electric blanket.

Flame smirked, he did have something the others didn't have. He's Haiku's favorite dragon to summon. Always had been. Maybe because they're both the same age and you could say almost grew up together. Well… they spent the most time together before she was separated from her parents. Those crazy Terra members always thought they would start a forest fire every time he was summoned just to spend time together. Often times if he was summoned inside of the house, Kolima and Hakuno would splash water all over him… or was it just Kola? Oh well… it doesn't matter. Heh, he could still remember helping Haiku practice fire jutsu by giving her pointers like Madara used to do. Those wacky Terra people made her practice in a big tiled bathroom. That fourth floor bathroom must have a lot of burn marks left on the white and light blue tiles.

* * *

Itachi picked up the envelope lying in the exact center of his bed. In what he was guessing what Haiku's handwriting would be like since he never actually seen her handwriting before. It had to be hers, it was written by a left-handed woman; he just knew it.

* * *

**Author's Note: Second chapter has finally been completed; that means I get to start the next chapter! Haiku finally discovered who her parents were only for her memory to be erased… Poor Haiku… What do you think of Flame's family? Kola has a partnership with the 'ghost' of the Akatsuki Base. What will the two do to get the two Uchiha together? One may be bad, but two is a whole lot worse. Especially if it has Muki's mind involved in this! Is the envelope from Haiku and what does it contain? Please review!**


	3. Chapter 3: Summoning Mix Up

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

**Haiku & Kola 2:**

**Relationship Problems**

**Chapter 3: Summoning Mix Up

* * *

**

**Author's Note: Just to help you out in reading this chapter, at one point Kola will be saying sentences in bold. Those are her talking like another certain person she's trying to have a 'conversation' with in front of others. This would most likely apply only for this chapter only. Hope this helps!**

* * *

Itachi closely examined the letter before opening it up. Nothing out of the ordinary… He shrugged his shoulders and proceeded in opening the envelope. Inside was the letter written in the same exact handwriting as the outside. No surprised there. He skipped to the bottom to see whom it was from. As soon as he saw the name, filled with hope, he started at the beginning.

* * *

_Dear Stalker,_

_I've been thinking about this for a while now… but you were wanting me to go on a picnic with you. I know it's the middle of winter and there's snow everywhere, but what do you think of going on one with me? I should be back from a mission with Kakuzu and that cussing maniac, Hidan. It's a bounty mission… I don't like going on those types of missions very much… Well anyway, what do you think about it being today at noon?_

* * *

Itachi stopped were he was reading to glance over to the clock.

**10:31**

Ok, plenty of time till then.

* * *

_The only reason why I decided on staying here wasn't because of Kola wishing to live here. It was because I wanted to be with you._

* * *

Itachi could hear his own heartbeat now. Was she going to tell him how she really felt?

* * *

_You have no idea how much I love you. I really do. I don't want you to get hurt, but… I want to see how our relationship would go. The only thing is, if I see your life is at anytime in jeopardy of my inner stages, I'll have to break up with you. You mean more to me than my own parents do. I can't afford to loose you. You mean too much to me. I'd rather die in your place than to see you die._

_Love,_

_Haiku_

_PS. Since I'll most likely be low on time when I get back, can you pack the food? I'd also like you to remind me and let me know if you want to go through crane talk. Love ya, Stalker._

* * *

Itachi couldn't believe what he was reading. He even read it over a few times just to make sure he wasn't imagining things. Something didn't seem quite right though… He just couldn't put his finger on it. Concentrating, he contacted Haiku through crane talk.

"Hn?"

"What are you doing?"

"You just… want to know what I'm doing?"

"Yes."

"Bounty hunting with Kakuzu and Hidan."

"How's it going?"

"Hidan's cussing and complaining like a complete maniac."

"Why did you choose to stay with the Akatsuki?"

"Dunno."

"Honestly, what is it?"

"Haven't really thought about it… Right now this minute, I'd have to say because Kola wants to stay here with Zetsu and I don't want to be pestered by Kakashi."

"…That it?"

"Hn? Why?"

"Just wondering."

"I'm guessing you think it's because of you."

"Why would you think that?"

"The look on your face says it all."

"Says what?"

"You forgot I could see through the eyes of the crane I choose didn't you?"

"_No_."

"It's that look you gave me before I left the room when my Inner Muki was unleashed."

"What look would that be?"

Haiku let out a small little laugh, "Stop playing dumb, Mammal."

"Did you write me a letter?"

"If I wanted to talk to you, I'd talk to you or use the crane."

"You still looking at me?"

"No and I really don't want to with you in _that_ state."

"What state?"

"Does that happen to you _every single_ time you hear my voice because I thought it was just from me being within oh I'd say about… one yard away from you?"

Itachi bit the inside of his lip. He never noticed and he'd think she'd be the _last_ to notice something like that.

"Men and their 'little problems'. If there's nothing else you wanted to talk to me about, then can you wait until I get back from the mission?"

"How would you know about that?" Itachi blurted out all the sudden without meaning to.

"I'm very observant thanks to my parents' training me. It's better to pick up every little detail than to be blown up."

"Do you always have your sharingun activated?"

"Oh I don't know… Do you?"

"Yes."

"What letter were you talking about?"

"Found one on my bed."

"Really?"

"What do you think of me?"

"Sweet. Unfortunately, just like all other men, you have a praying mantis mind."

"Hn?"

"Rather not explain at the moment."

She does have a point; she would rather talk to me in person or use a paper crane, which would still be talking to me…

"I'll talk to ya later."

"Bye."

Well that didn't help much. He looked back down at the letter in his hands. Is it possible someone her managed to pull off a fake letter? No, it takes the sharingun to make the writing the same… Unless you don't know what their handwriting looks like, then you might get away with it.

* * *

"Kakuzu, I'm fucken tired! Why don't we just sit down and take a fucken rest?!"

"The target's nearby." Kakuzu gave him a threatening look to get him to shut up.

I sent some cranes over to the area where I could sense the target. I made sure they were great at camouflaging. When they located him, I sent them after him. He gasped and the next thing he knew, he was on the ground, unable to move. "Dead or alive?"

"Dead." Kakuzu stated.

"I already have him."

"But I wanted to make a fucken sacrifice to Lord Jashin!" Hidan complained.

"Hn." I performed some quick hand signs and a vine slithered its way underground to the paralyzed victim. The vines then twisted around his limbs and carried him over to where we were; the cranes leading the way back.

Because I simply didn't feel like it and didn't mind using a bit more chakra than both a summoning and fire rose jutsu, I just skipped to the summoning. I _would_ just teleport back to the base, but unfortunately, I had these two Akatsuki members with me. Plain and simple, I didn't want Hidan to even touch me. If I did, I can easily see him dead with _his_ blood on _my_ hands. As much fun as it would be to 'kill' Hidan, I'd rather do that some other time when I'm already extremely angry.

My mouth dropped when instead of Flame being summoned, just sitting there was…

"ITACHI! What are you doing here?!"

"I was going to ask you the same thing."

Hidan started cracking up laughing. There is fate worse than death and boy was Hidan going to get it when I figured this whole mess out.

I tried again, making sure I did every hand sign correctly, but no Flame.

Hidan was laughing even harder than ever. He was even on the ground, rolling around in the dirt.

"Kola."

"What did she do?"

"She's the only one I know that could perform the blood seals necessary to switch to you instead of Flame."

"Do you have any more dragons?"

The next summoning, I tried to get Diamond, but it wouldn't work. Itachi was simply moved a few feet so he was right in front of me again. No Frost and definitively no Magma. I didn't even think Kola knew of them!

I sat down to think. She must have made it so in general; I would be unable to summon my dragons. Instead, I'd only get Itachi. When did she do this?! Must have been during the night when I was sleeping, but what night was it? It must have been only a few days ago…

I organized what I was going to do when I got back to the Akatsuki Base in my head: Kola was going to fix the blood seals so I can summon my dragons instead of Itachi. Then Hidan was going to pay. Hn… Then what?

"HIDAN SHUT THE HELL UP!!!" I screamed.

Hidan kept laughing. His ribs apparently ached already from this non-stop laughter.

This is getting really annoying. I think I like hearing him cuss or complain a whole lot more than his laugh… any day.

I walked over to him. "Hidan."

His eyes still watering, ribs throbbing, dirt all over his cloak, he looked up at me; still unable to control himself.

I hauled him up by his arm. "We're doing it the old fashioned way. Kakuzu, grab ahold of Hidan's other arm. Itachi--" I didn't even have to finish what I was going to say. "Ready?"

"For what?" Kakuzu gave me a confused look.

"You collected the bounty and now we're going home."

"How?" Itachi gave me a worried glance.

"Hold on."

Just like that, we were right in front of the Akatsuki Base. We released each other, but both Kakuzu, Hidan and Itachi looked sick to their stomachs.

"What'd you just do?" Kakuzu questioned, clutching his gut.

"Teleported us here."

"No duh, bitch." Hidan suddenly went pale. He charged for the bushes and hurled up the contents of his breakfast.

"The more you teleport, the more used to it you get. You no longer feel sick."

* * *

"Kola, the letter you planned out."

"It must of convinced him perfectly."

"The hint it wasn't hers must have been by calling him Stalker."

"Of course not!"

"What does she call him?"

"Itachi and every now and then I overhear Mammal. Wonder why…"

"Then why Stalker?"

"Cause he's a Stalker and it's fun calling him that!"

"Some idea you had…"

"That idea took me a whole _ten minutes _to come up with!" Kola whined.

"Why don't we use one of my tactics next?"

"What would that be?"

"First, we need to get rid of the letter."

"I'll go do that!"

"Be sure you're not caught with it."

"Don't worry." Kola left the room with a light click of the door closing.

Muki sat there for a few minutes for Madara to show up.

"Well?"

"Failed."

"You mean I wrote that entire letter with my sharingun for _nothing_?"

"Oh don't worry, you like using your sharingun."

"…"

"That's what I've picked up about you. After all, how can you _over-use_ your sharingun if you don't like using it?"

"Why do you want the look-alikes together so badly?"

"He's her soul mate. I just know it."

"Hn. Why must she be with anyone in the first place?"

Muki approached her husband, allowing him to see her. "Oh I don't know…" She pulled on his scarf to make him look eye to eye with her and removed his mask. "Maybe she'll want some company." Muki kissed Madara.

"Who is this 'other incompetent ass?'"

Muki started to leave the room, crossed her arms, and gave him a sideways glance. "None of your business." She once again made herself invisible and left the room.

"MUKI!!"

"Kukukukuku."

* * *

"What are you doing in here, Kola?"

Kola spun around and hid the letter behind her back. "Looking around."

"Why?"

"To see if there was any evidence you were working on making the baby with Itachi."

Haiku's jaw dropped.

"But surprisingly, Itachi made his bed, so I can't tell from messed up blankets." Kola nodded her head slowly up and down. "I'm gonna get going now…"

"Kola, fix the blood seals."

"I will."

"Now."

"I will, I will." Kola slipped the letter into her pocket before doing what her sister wanted.

* * *

I was walking down the corridor when I spotted Hidan again. I really have to admit, making him sick just from being teleported here would be good enough to get back at him… but then again, there's Tobi's room just around the corner… Nah, I'll just let him be.

With a checklist, I went over the ingredients I picked up to make sure I didn't leave anything out. I didn't want any last minute trips to shops to retrieve the missing items. "Hn…" I think I got everything…

I felt a hand on my shoulder all the sudden. "What are you doing?"

"Making sure I have everything."

"For what?"

"You're a bit snoopy as usual, Itachi."

He shrugged his shoulders, "Just wondering."

"Something you wanted to say?"

"Wanna go on a picnic?"

I looked him in the eyes. "You serious?"

"_Yeah_."

"Sure."

* * *

Kola walked into the living room where the entire Akatsuki was located with the exception of Haiku and Itachi. Good, very good. She tugged on the bottom of the fishnet shirt she now wore over her purple jacket. She still couldn't understand why there were holes in the fronts of men's boxers… She wanted to one day meet the idiot who thought it would be a good idea to save money on threat and leave holes in all underwear for men.

Deidara was the first to notice her and busted up laughing. "What are you doing un?"

"Talking." Kola innocently stated. "**Stop acting so innocent. Everyone here should already know you're not as much of an angel as you want people to think.**"

Kakuzu glanced up from his list of possible bounties for the future to see her in boxers, a fishnet shirt, and black lines on her face making her look like a certain Uchiha… She looked ridiculous with the new clothing over what she usually wore. "Why are you talking to yourself?"

"**She won't leave me alone.**" Kola paused, "Well you better get used to being around me if you're going to date _my_ sister."

"Why did you draw lines on your face like Itachi?" Kisame held back the laughter the best he possibly could.

"**I didn't draw them. They're from stress.**"

"Who's clothes are those?" Zetsu asked her. "**They better not be mine **_**this**_** time.**"

"**They're mine. Who's do you think they'd be?** Hey Stalker! **What is it now?** What do you think of how Haiku looks? **Hn…**"

The Akatsuki got relaxed and watched her as their new form of entertainment. It would only be a matter of time before either Itachi or Haiku would show up and stop her nonsense.

"**She's really attractive.** I've noticed you're really attached to her. **But of course.** Have you ever thought of making the baby with her? **Rather not speak of that in front of the others. **Are you a chicken?" Kola started making chicken sounds. "I'll only stop if you tell me. **Stop first.**" Kola stopped sounding like a chicken. "**Many times.** You mean you've never tried making the baby or having sex with her? **No.** Why not? **She'd get angry again and it'll take who knows how long to get her to forgive me.** What are you going to give her in two days? **Don't know. **Why not? **I haven't thought of it. **Why, are you too busy fantasizing for that? **Are you really **_**that**_** goofy on a regular basis?** How often have you restrained yourself from having sex with her? **Every night. **Would you be fine raping my sister? **It wouldn't be rape.** Why wouldn't it? **It wouldn't be unwanted.** How are you so sure? **I just am.** But what about her parents' scarring?** It'll go away eventually, I'll make sure of that.** What is your next move? **Haven't thought of it yet.** Aren't you afraid of her inner stages? **I just have to be careful around her Inner Madara, but Muki on the other hand…** What about that one? **I won't have to fear for my life, but that one's just **_**strange**_**… **How come you want to date her so much? **Have you learned nothing? I love her to death, even if it means the end of my life to be with her.** _Really_? **She completes me.** Do you get jealous every time Kakashi asks her out? **I swear, if he **_**ever**_** tries to rape her, I'll kill him.** Oh so that means _you_ can, but _he_ can't? **I told you, it wouldn't be rape if she enjoys it and would be therefore willing.**"

"KOLA! What _are_ you doing?!" The Akatsuki's watchful gaze was averted to Haiku who just got back from their picnic. The two were walking side by side when they overheard what she was saying. On her face was a blush that easily matched the shade of the sharingun.

"**Don't you recognize me, Haiku, my love?** Itachi, not now, I think she's embarrassed."

Haiku disappeared just like that. Teleporting away from the staring Akatsuki. Itachi remained rooted in his spot, frown on his pale face, "Are those _my_ clothes?"

"Don't worry, they're clean!"

"You're wearing them."

"I'm not getting them dirty, I have my clothes under these." She pinched the fish net shirt.

"…"

"You should get new boxers. All of them have holes in them."

Itachi lightly shook his head. "You're an idiot." He spun around and headed off in the opposite direction.

* * *

Haiku was in the library. She knew fully well the blush on her face hadn't completely faded even though she was away from her sister and the curious Akatsuki, but on her pale skin, even the slightest of blushes would be noticeable.

Just what is Kola thinking, pulling a stunt like that?! No, Kola wouldn't be able to devise a plan like that. No, someone else must have. But why do that of all things? To inform her Itachi supposedly wanted to rape her. What else did she say before they showed up? The first thing Haiku and Itachi both heard was about Itachi wanted to date her even if it meant the end of his life to do so.

"Haiku?"

Haiku looked up from her spot, blush finally completely faded away. "Yes?"

"You alright?"

"Is it true?"

"About what?"

"Wanting to date me even if it means the end of your life."

"Of course."

"Why?"

"You complete me. I need you."

"Sit down."

"Um… ok." He sat down in a chair right across from hers.

"Might as well start at the beginning of the whole mess. This is why they said I had to choose a boyfriend."

"Hn?"

Haiku smiled. "I can _choose_ you to see memories when I'm awake."

* * *

_Itachi was seeing through her eyes. She was sitting on a branch of one of the huge trees in the Terra Clan._

"_There again, Haiku?"_

_She looked over her shoulder, inside of the open sliding door leading into what looked like her bedroom. She looked like she must have been the only one at their house who had a black comforter._

"_Yes Mom."_

"_Why didn't you leave with Kola?"_

"_She's with Zetsu."_

"_You're a thirteen year old girl, don't you have anything other than fold paper and wait for Kola to return this evening?"_

"_No Kolima."_

_Kolima knelt next to Haiku who was sitting cross-legged with a big stack of sticky notes right next to her on the huge branch. "Why don't you spend time with your friends?"_

"_I have none." Haiku's voice was icy cold with that single sentence before returning back to the usual tone._

"_Why not? You've been here for how long?"_

"_Eight years." Haiku mumbled._

"_Come on, what you need is a friend. Better yet, a boyfriend you can spend your days with instead of sitting here from ten in the morning to five at night."_

"_I don't want one."_

"_Why not?"_

_Haiku thought for a bit. "They're all perverts."_

"_They are?"_

"_All men have praying mantis minds. So thus, they are perverts."_

_Kolima laughed. "Why don't we pick on out." She pulled out her book. On the cover of hers was Kolima, her husband, Hakuno, Kola of course playing with Zetsu and Haiku tending to a red rose. She flipped to a page showing a picture of a boy of the Terra Clan at the same age as Haiku._

_Jerk. "No."_

"_Ok then. No worries." She flipped to the next page._

_Asshole. "No."_

_Next page._

_Gives me weird looks during training. "No."_

_Another page flipped by._

_Pervert. "No."_

_Page by page went by, after a while, Haiku stopped looking and just said 'no' to each and every one._

"_Well what about someone outside of the clan?"_

_Itachi. "Which clan?"_

"_How about the Uchiha?"_

"_I told you before, they all want to kill me."_

"_It's been years, I doubt they still want to kill you silly. They could have forgotten all about you for all we know. Plus they wouldn't recognize you."_

"_I wouldn't underestimate them."_

"_Don't look so depressed. What about that friend you had? What was his name…?"_

"_Mammal."_

"_Yes. What about him?"_

"_As you said, he probably forgot about me long ago. I'm guessing a year after I disappeared."_

"_If you are as great of a friend to him as you are to Kola, he would still remember you."_

_"No." It's best if we stay apart anyway. He doesn't need to be targeted like I was. I can't put my only friend before being separated from my parents to be in danger because of me._

**

* * *

Author's Note: Strangely enough, Kola didn't lie when she was wearing some of Itachi's clothes. What do you think of this chapter? Who knew Kola could perform blood seals necessary to switch Haiku's summoning to Itachi from her dragons and then fix it all? Kola's sure up to a lot now she's unknowingly partnered up with Muki Sotaki!**


	4. Chapter 4: Cookie Dough

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

**Haiku & Kola 2:**

**Relationship Problems**

**Chapter 4: Cookie Dough

* * *

**

"Good night Mammal."

"Night. What about showing me what happened next?"

"I will later on."

"Ok."

Itachi turned out the lamp on the nightstand. He could hear Haiku turning onto her side on the couch with his fine tuned ears. "I love you." She mumbled.

"I love you too." Itachi took a deep breath before continuing on, "I know you're worried about me, but I don't care about what happened to your first boyfriend. Will you please be my girlfriend?"

There was a long silence. Her breathing evened out, and it sounded like she was asleep already. Sending chakra to his ears, he concentrated on her heartbeat. That would be what would tell him if she was acting or not. Hn… She really was asleep…

Itachi was also about to drift off when he heard her faintly say, "I'll think about it."

* * *

I woke up in the middle of the night, my eyes flickering red for a brief second. "It-a-chi?" I pronounced every syllable with just the slightest of pauses between each. I quietly got off the couch and approached him in the darkness. He jolted upright, streams of tears running down his cheeks, almost gasping for breath. It seemed like he forgot I shared the same room as him, or didn't bother checking to see if I was awake. Itachi held his head in his hands, silently sobbing. "What's the matter?" I set my hand on his shoulder.

"What are you doing awake?" His voice trembled.

"Dunno."

"…"

"You want to talk about it?"

"It was a nightmare ok?!" He snapped.

"What was it about?" I calmly asked.

"…The Uchiha Massacre…" He finally said.

I got him to look at me and untied the headband still present on his forehead. "Sometimes, it feels better when you don't have to carry the weight of painful memories alone." I kissed him in the exact center of his forehead. "They'll haunt you otherwise."

"There isn't anything to talk about."

"Seriously Itachi, I have two events that haunt me. You could say another would be from when I killed that thirteen year old, but at the same time, it wasn't that big of a thing compared to the other two."

I used my sleeve to wipe the tears away from his face. "Two?"

"Loosing my parents from the flood."

"The other?"

"I'd rather not talk about it."

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"…I still have that feeling he's still out there… somewhere…"

"Your boyfriend?"

"No. Have you ever wondered why the clan's housing area for the Terra was so empty?"

"I have."

"It's all because of…" I took a deep breath, "Nikku Terra."

"Who's that?"

"Don't bring _**any**_ of this up to Kola or Zetsu. Especially not my sister. "

"I promise."

"You better keep it."

"I will."

"He also died, but I still have that feeling he's out there somewhere. Faked his own death."

"What's all this about?"

"Kola _almost_ joined the other clan members." I fought back the tears even though my eyes were watering up.

"Wait, are they dead? How can that be possible?"

"Nikku found a way. He wanted to… grow rich from making armies for big money."

"How?"

"Soldiers perfect for warfare using a forbidden technique." I shook my head. "Not only do we not use forbidden techniques, but we don't do healing for money. It's charity work I guess you could call it."

"How does this connect to all of this?"

"He was out for revenge on the clan for not letting him make billions. He wanted us **all** dead."

"You mean they're actually all dead?"

I shook my head yes, unable to hold back my own tears. "It was a horrible time. Even the original creators of the clan, the thousands of years old elders, they all got it. It started with the oldest and worked its way down; to the children."

"But how are you three still alive?"

"I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"I understand."

"And don't **ever** speak a **single** word of this to **anyone**."

"You can trust me."

"You going to be ok now?"

"Yeah."

"Good night." I got up from my sitting spot on his bed and climbed back on the couch. Why did I tell him? Maybe cause I needed someone to tell my suspicions to without that person balling their eyes out just from mentioning it. Kola and I had been through a lot together, and I almost lost her too…

"Look, before I help you, you got to help me." Nikku's eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room.

"What is it you want?" Orochimaru said like a snake.

"I want the remaining members in my clan dead."

"Why is that?"

"I killed all but three five years ago. I want to finish the job now."

"Who are they?"

"Zetsu, double persons, one body. Kola, twin. Haiku, twin."

"I fought Haiku for a few minutes. She's a tough opponent."

"The last time I saw them was when they were all fourteen."

"Aren't the Terra immortal? That's what I heard from legend anyway."

"Yes, but I found a disease that can kill them and **only** them."

"For my services, I want immortality like you."

"What happened to your 'fountain of youth'?" Nikku mocked.

"I want a body that is perfect for my tastes. One that I won't have to look for a new body afterwards."

"How'd they survive if this 'disease' is so great?" Kabuto pushed back his glasses.

"Kola was going to die just like the rest of the pathetic, good-doing bunch, but somehow, a cure was discovered."

"Wouldn't it be wise to separate the cure from the victims?" Kabuto mocked.

"Kabuto, stop pestering him. He knows what he's doing."

"I will in good time. First I have to recreate the disease."

"But aren't you at risk too or do you have a cure also?"

"I'm not obliged to tell you."

"What kind of help do you need?"

"I should do this all myself so I don't have a bunch of monkeys messing it up." Nikku glared at Kabuto who was leaning up against a wall while the two of them were sitting down in wooden chairs. "I need the correct and purest ingredients, but unfortunately, I'm not allowed back into the peace loving clan of mine. So we'll have to make do without. It also means it'll take longer than previously planned even if I know exactly what I'm doing."

"What kind of ingredients do you need?" Orochimaru licked his lips.

"Mostly plants."

"How do you suppose we do that in the middle of winter?"

"My skills with plants aren't as great as they once were. You see, I was too busy to try and design the ultimate disease; I didn't memorize all of the jutsu discovered in the clan nor the techniques that I didn't find important. How was I supposed to know my book was one of many to be destroyed? But luckily, they think I'm dead too. They won't see it coming."

"And until then?"

"We'll play it out day by day."

* * *

Itachi pulled a hand out from under the black comforter to touch his cold face. He turned on the lamp and figured Haiku was most likely cold with only a few blankets, not even close to as warm as his comforter he now used. She'd be extremely angry if she were to discover being asleep next to him. If she's not still mostly asleep when she leaves to get breakfast. He got up and laid a blanket on the floor directly next to the couch. Set a pillow on the same side as Haiku's head was and then pulled off the still-warm comforter off his cozy bed. He covered her with about half of it, allowing the other half to hang onto the floor. He then lay down on his new spot on the floor, pulling the black comforter a little bit past his shoulders. Technically, this way, she wasn't sleeping 'next' to him, so she had no reason to get upset. It's not like they're sharing his bed or anything! Honestly, women can be so strange! Hn, but she was going to be his and _only_ his. That one in a million who has both the Inner Madara and Inner Muki, daughter of two masters of torture. Sure it could _possibly_ be bad for his health, but what did he care, he loved her with all his heart and that's all that mattered… right?

* * *

Haiku was sleeping really well, no constantly moving around in her sleep or falling off the couch for that matter. She was warm, happy and content with her sleeping spot that is until she rolled off the bed while still asleep. She snapped awake and stayed perfectly still when she hit what was _supposed_ to be a floor.

Itachi cracked an eye open, forgetting where he was and why there was someone's left cheek right up against his own. Was someone sleeping on him and… why? The figure loosened up her muscles, "What are you doing on the floor?" Haiku mumbled.

"Sharing my comforter so you'll stay warm."

"That's sweet of you. You're nice and warm too."

"Are you going to lay on me all day?"

"You're warm." She repeated.

"Hn."

"If you didn't want me to fall on you, then I'd suggest not sleeping right in the spot where I usually fall during the night."

"You didn't fall until now."

"Yeah… I feel cold and you're nice and warm." Haiku sighed, snuggling up against him.

Itachi also sighed. It was pointless to be arguing with someone at like three in the morning who felt cold. Now that he thought of it, he'd only been sleeping down here for like a half hour to and hour. Besides, didn't he want to get closer to her? She just felt so COLD.

Haiku rolled off onto the side of him, but her arms wrapped around his chest, keeping the much-wanted and appreciated warmth.

"Just remember, Kola's going to think we've had sex or something along those lines if she sees us laying on the floor together."

"Since when did you care about what Kola thinks?"

"Hn… Only half the things she says are true and should be trusted."

"Just about."

"But don't you care what she thinks?"

"Yeah, but right now I could care less."

"Are you really going to stay here until morning?"

"Only if you're still here."

"Why's that?"

"One, your warm. Two, I don't want to move. Three, I want to go back to sleep."

"Is that so?"

"Oh yes, and besides that…"

"Hn?"

"I love you." Haiku moved just the slightest bit to kiss him on the cheek and then get back into her original spot with her arms tightly wrapped around his stomach, chest being used as a pillow.

* * *

Itachi woke up, immediately wondering where Haiku had disappeared to. After all, he was the one who usually woke up earlier when there was nothing they had to go do. Itachi fixed his bed, neatly folded up Haiku's blanket, brushed out his hair, put it in a low ponytail and headed to the kitchen.

* * *

I had breakfast as soon as I got up, being especially careful not to wake up Itachi and got ready for the day. He walked in as I was separating big chunks out of the huge black bowl and placing them on the cookie sheet.

"What are you doing?"

I motioned him to get closer with a hand covered in flour and cookie dough. He did as I wished and I whispered into his ear, "Baking chocolate chip cookies."

"Why?" He whispered back. "And why are we whispering?"

"These are my presents to you all. I can't allow Kola to find out just yet. She _always_ runs off with my cookies unless I can successfully get them cooked and put them out to cool. I have a while since she's still asleep at the moment and will be for at least a few more hours." I whispered, being sure I got a little bit of the delicious dough onto his opposite cheek in the process.

"Ok." Itachi took a step from me to feel the dough sticking to his face. "What was that for?"

I gave him a smile. "Because I can."

He reached into the bowl and took out a clump that could be around the same size as a good snowball. While I was watching the cookies cook, he threw it at me. I turned my head just the slightest to talk to him when a ball that could be used for one of my giant cookies I was baking for gifts plastered onto the side of my face. "That is called revenge." Itachi smirked.

"_Oh really?_" I took just as much as he hit me with and chucked it at his face.

"Are those cookies un? They smell really good un." Itachi ducked and instead, Deidara was hit head on with the uncooked sweet.

The two of us watched to see Deidara's reactions. He just stood there, like he was still deciding on what to do. He used a hand to take off the mass, looked long and hard about it… and ate it. He smiled from ear to ear, "Now that's cookie dough un!" Deidara started walking past us when he took a clump from the bowl and shoved it onto Itachi's face. "I think that belonged to you, Itachi-san." He chuckled to himself and grabbed something to eat for breakfast, still eating the dough that originally hit him in the face.

I cleaned up the kitchen and got it off of not only myself, but also Itachi. I pulled the door of the oven open to reveal an empty tray. "Hn." I pulled out the tray and was about to put new cookie dough to be baked, but the bowl that was once filled to the rim was robbed of the tasty chocolate cookie dough.

"What happened? The cookies done already?"

"Did you take the cookies that were in the oven and also the dough?"

"No…"

"Hn." I pulled out the extra ingredients just in case of this, mixed up the new bowl full and popped them into the tray. Plenty left for the other cookies to come. These cookies could only fit three cookies to a tray since each had a radius of about half a foot. I sat on a chair, staring at the cookies bake, bowl right on top of the oven that way I could keep an eye on both.

"Haiku?"

"What?"

"What do you want from me for tomorrow?"

"Dunno."

"Why don't you know?"

"I don't usually care too terribly much as so long as it isn't something ridiculous that I'd never use."

"Ok…"

I turned to look at him for a brief moment. "You ok?"

"Of course."

The cookies were gone… I twitched. "Can you see if Kola's awake?"

I peered into the bowl, which too was empty. "Sure."

I took a deep breath and started over again. "Either her or Zetsu had to be up to this nonsense. Only they would manage to or even want to collect so much raw cookie dough.

* * *

I was sitting down, watching intently with my sharingun that was as usual, hidden beneath my usual eye color.

"She's awake, but she just woke up when I checked on her."

"Wanna help me keep watch?"

"Sure, but I want you to see something first."

"What is it?" I asked, still staring at the cookies.

"You'll have to come with me to see it."

"What is 'it'?"

"You'll want to see it before it disappears."

"Yeah, but what is it?"

A sound of flapping wings made it's way into the kitchen. My eyes darted to the light brown falcon.

"That."

I was speechless.

"I saw it on my way back here."

"Where did it come from?"

"I don't know, but there is no way it could get in here unless one of us owns it."

"Hn…" I performed a special bird call Dad used to use to get his own falcons to come to him.

"You know this bird?"

The falcon flew towards me and landed on my arm. It 'bowed' its head just the slightest bit as if it were greeting me.

"It wouldn't do that for me."

"Different call than the ones in Konaha. Some only respond to calls it was trained to come to."

"You know the person who trained it then?"

The falcon made its own call and flapped its wings a few times, still remaining on my raised arm. In return, I patted it on its feathered head. Little did I know, the cookies had already vanished.

I looked at its foot to see where it would carry messages. The falcon lifted it's foot to insist there was something for me.

* * *

_Thanks for the cookie dough!_

* * *

"This isn't Kola's writing."

"Kola has falcons?"

"No, but she's the only one who would be thanking me for cookie dough."

"Do you know who it belongs to?"

"She, not it, but I have an idea."

"Who?"

"Only my Dad trains falcons with that call."

"But you said the owner of this falcon would be around here."

"He must be hiding around here somewhere." I blinked away the tears starting to form, "But why doesn't he show himself if he knows I'm here?!"

"Maybe he's waiting for the right time."

"It has to be him. This is Muki's handwriting." I showed him the slip of paper.

"Madara, I require more cookie dough."

"What are you using this for?"

"My sculpture."

"Of what?"

"Either get more, or stand still."

"Is that supposed to be me?"

"Aw… see what you did? Now your nose looks huge." Muki lightly shook her head.

"Have you by chance seen the falcon that was sitting right over there?" Madara pointed to the perch.

"Oh it wanted to stretch its wings."

"Ok." Madara tensed. "Where?"

"Don't worry, it's still in the labyrinth."

Madara took a deep breath. "You didn't."

"Oh _I_ did."

* * *

The falcon sat near me as I prepared yet another batch of cookies.

"So what are you going to do?"

"When these cookies are finally finished, then I'm going to see if I can find them."

"How are you going to do that?"

"Luck." I put the cookie tray back into the oven. "You watch this?"

"Sure." He sat down in the chair I pulled over and watched the cookies slowly bake.

"Don't leave them out of your sight."

"I won't."

"Good. I'll be back."

"Ok, don't be too long."

"I won't." I wrote a response to my mother's message and slipped it in the carrying device on the falcon's leg, right above the foot.

The falcon called out one last time before taking off. I walked after it, knowing it may not go back to my parents right away if I were to run after it. That would only be because this one's younger than the ones that Dad was training when I was little, like the pure white one. I wasn't worried about loosing it since there was an extremely small crane resting on top of the carrying device.

* * *

Itachi sat there, wondering where Haiku had run off to. Knowing the cookies were now done, he summoned a clone that grabbed the cookie dough to make sure it didn't disappear while he took the cookies out of the oven and put them on a big paper towel Haiku had placed on the counter, apparently for this cause since she made a sign:

* * *

'_Don't you dare touch. ~Haiku_'

* * *

He put another batch on the cookie tray and resumed his spot. She'd be back soon; he just knew it and she'd be happy he made sure the cookies didn't burn.

* * *

Haiku followed the bird to a closed door. It sat there and called out to the inhabitants of the room. The door opened up and the falcon happily flew in.

"This your falcon?" I asked. I was unsure of who the room belonged to and the owner was hiding behind the door, making sure I couldn't see him/her.

"Kukuku checkmate."

"Muki?"

* * *

**Author's Note: I must admit, it sure was a change for Itachi to be the one not sleeping well. First the falcon shows up with a message in Muki's handwriting, and then she declared checkmate. Did she plan on luring Haiku to their room or was she just trying to annoy Madara by letting one of his falcons fly loose in the Akatsuki Base? Don't forget, she has the **_**most**_** strategic mind in all of the Sotaki Clan. Haiku's an amateur compared to her!**

**...Is my story actually good or is everyone leading me on like a blind horse? T_T  
**


	5. Chapter 5: Food Fight!

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

**Haiku & Kola 2:**

**Relationship Problems**

**Chapter 5: Food Fight!

* * *

**

"Kukuku."

"Then you must be Madara." I just stood there, my hand trembling on the doorknob.

"It's been a long time Little Princess." Madara's voice was coming from the opposite side of the door.

"Father, Mother…" I brushed away a tear. "Why didn't you reveal yourselves earlier?"

"Come in." Madara showed himself from behind the door.

I twitched. "My Dad's become an _idiot_!"

"Kukuku." Muki showed herself as soon as the door was closed. Her messy black curly hair just as I remembered it all those years ago. Still refusing to wear dresses. Instead, she wore a loose white T-shirt and a pair of gray pants.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR--"

* * *

I was suddenly in a snow-covered meadow. "HAIR?!?!"

"What about my hair?" Kola patted her wavy brown locks.

"What did you do that for?"

"I needed to talk to you."

"I just found my parents!"

"I know that, but you shouldn't tell them everything about our clan."

"Why not? It's not like the whole Akatsuki know we're in the Terra Clan."

"Just keep everything on low profile."

"I know Kola."

Kola hugged me. "You finally found them."

"But you're still my sister."

"If Tobi's Madara, then who was your mother this whole time?"

"You referred to her as Ghostie."

"Oh…" Kola thought to herself. 'So I made a partnership with Muki Sotaki… At least I'm not the only one who wants the two lovebirds together!'

"Can I go back now?"

"Of course. I wasn't the one who was taking your cookie dough. In fact, I just realized your were making cookies."

"Then my mom was the one taking them?"

"Dunno."

"What happened to my what?" Madara thought out loud.

"Hold still."

"Ok."

"Got it."

Madara took a good look at the cookie dough sculpture Muki had been working on. "That's me?"

"Uh huh." She pulled out a blowtorch.

"What's that for?"

"I got to cook it don't I?"

"…"

I appeared back in Madara and Muki's room again. The blowtorch was turning the missing cookie dough into a crisp, blackened mound.

"What are you doing?"

"Fixing _the_ Ass's face."

"What happened to your hair?!"

Madara looked down at his daughter who was surprisingly a little bit taller than Muki. Muki wouldn't be too terribly pleased.

"Don't worry, he still has it." Muki approached Madara, pulled on his scarf so he was face to face with her, pulled the mask off and revealed his well-hidden hair. "The Ass wouldn't part with it." Her attention was averted to her daughter who was just the slightest bit taller than her. She caused the lights to turn out really quickly.

I turned back on the lights to see Muki had put on shoes that would make her taller. Now she was just mere millimeters taller than me. I ignored the fact of Mother trying to be taller than myself and squeezed Dad in a hug. "I missed you two so much." Tears started back up again.

"We're here now Little Princess." Muki shoved Madara's bangs into my mouth. She then joined into the hug.

"Where have you been?" I sobbed.

"Looking for you." Muki replied. "But where did you go?"

"I was adopted."

"By who?" Madara had a sinister look to his face.

"Don't hurt them. They took care of me like one of their own."

"I'll make sure _the_ Incompetent Ass doesn't dare to even lay a finger on them."

"Kola's my sister now."

* * *

Itachi just sat there, watching the last batch of cookies being baked. What could be taking Haiku so long? Did she find the owner of the falcon? Was it her parents? If so, that would explain what's taking her so long…

Haiku walked into the kitchen, her eyes showed she had cried recently. He abandoned the cookies to rush over to her side. "You alright?"

"I'm fine."

"Did you find the owner?"

"Yeah."

"Who was it?"

"How's the cookies coming along?"

"All done."

"Thank you Itachi." Haiku hugged him before tending to the cooled off cookies while the others were apparently just placed on the paper towel.

"It's no problem."

Itachi could feel Tobi glaring at him. What did he do wrong?

Haiku melted some chocolate and drizzled a name of each Akatsuki member in a neat cursive. The whole time, she had a nice little smile on her face.

* * *

With one extra cookie left over, I decided on trying out Itachi's cookie baking skills. 'If it was perfect, then maybe, just maybe… I could get him to cook them more often…' I thought with a wide grin. Taking a big bite out, I started twitching uncontrollably, frown etched on my pale face.

"You alright?" Itachi asked from the dinner table while I gave him the task of trying to fold a paper crane without ever allowing him to catch me making one with his sharingun. He was the only one other than Tobi and I occupying the kitchen. Tobi simply sat across Itachi and watched him mess around with a sticky note.

I twitched once more while trying to swallow it to not offend Itachi of his HORRENDOUS cookie baking skills.

"Tobi wants a sticky!" Tobi didn't notice me with my back to the two.

I grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it to the rim with water that a quickly downed. Feeling better, I took one more sticky note from my pocket and handed it to Tobi.

"Yay! Tobi won! Tobi won!" Tobi stuck the royal purple sticky note on his mask to cover up the eyehole. "Tobi beat Itachi-san!

Itachi looked at his white sticky note covered with crinkles and a few small rips from being careless to the perfectly crinkle-less sticky note Tobi had, and then back to his own. "You didn't make a paper crane." He finally said.

"But she didn't ask Tobi to make a crane, but Tobi finished Tobi's task! Tobi wins!"

"What's your task?" I asked while jotting down the ingredients on last time.

"It's a secret."

"So what do you think Haiku?"

"I want you to do one last thing."

"What's that?"

"Come here."

Itachi got up thinking he was going to be rewarded in some way or another from his 'great' cooking skills and making sure the cookies _didn't_ burn. But instead, I shoved a pot I used to melt the chocolate in his hands. "I need you to clean this all up."

"Where are you going?" Itachi looked curious as to why _he_ was going to wash dishes.

"To the store." I was already walking out the kitchen. Tobi on the other hand, lifted up the piece of paper and was watching all of this happen.

"What for?"

"To get more ingredients."

"Why?"

I froze and slowly turned around. "Have you checked the cookies?"

"They're perfectly fine."

Tobi got up and picked out the cookie off to the side his daughter took a bite out of. Turning away from the two, he bit off a small piece near Haiku's big bite. He couldn't help spitting out what he just took from the cookie.

"What is it?" Itachi asked.

Tobi was coughing up a storm. When he stopped, he managed to say, "Why is the bottom half completely charcoaled?" Tobi put his mask firmly back in place, turned around and put the cookie back.

"What?! Burnt?!" Itachi took the cookie and carefully examined it. He realized right away, the masked man wasn't lying and tossed the cookie in the trash along with the others Haiku had so carefully drooled chocolate on. "Haiku, I'm sorry… Haiku?"

"Tobi didn't think Itachi-san wouldn't realize when Haiku-chan's left the room."

Itachi's glare rested on Tobi.

Tobi calmly watched the one who was so similar to his daughter ever since they were mere children.

Ten seconds past and Tobi ran off, hands waving above his head, screaming as if the Uchiha Prodigy was _actually_ chasing him.

Itachi's glare disappeared when his eyebrows knitted together; he wasn't going to do anything to him from something such as that…

* * *

"Sonya, do you know where Haiku is? I haven't seen her in a while…"

"Huh?" Sonya turned around, her long braid swinging into the very person talking to her.

"Haiku. You seen her lately?"

"Why do you want to know, Kakashi?"

"Um… She said she'd train Sasuke."

"You're his sensei, train him yourself."

"But she knows more fire jutsu. He's from the Uchiha Clan and he should know more than what little I know."

"Ah." Sonya licked the back of her hand, forgetting she was in human form.

"So do you know where she is?"

"Sorry, but you don't need her for important purposes. See ya." Sonya waved.

"Wait!"

"Yes?" Sonya all but purred.

"I also wanted to give her a present."

"What kind of present?"

"Origami paper."

"I think she prefers sticky notes." Sonya smiled.

"Why won't you tell me where she is?"

"You don't need to know. Besides, I have to go home and cook the cherry pies right now." Sonya turned into a black cat and walked down the road to the Nara Ranch.

"Bye."

* * *

"What do you mean no more flour?!"

"I'm fresh out."

I took a deep breath. "Do you know of somewhere I can go that have flour for sale?"

"Seventeen miles west is a store that always has flour. I promise, they never run out!"

"What's the name?"

"The General Store."

"Thank you for your time."

"Your welcome, but they also have great buckets!"

"Buckets? What would I want with a bucket?"

"You can use buckets to hold just about anything."

"What would someone like me want a bucket for _exactly_?"

"Flour."

"They come in bags so I wouldn't need a bucket."

"Then water."

"I don't need a bucket for water."

"You can use it to catch water in the leaks in your roof."

"I don't _have_ any leaks in my roof."

"I never said you do."

"But you just inferred it."

"You might eventually."

"I wouldn't plan on it."

"You never do plan on things like that happening. They just do."

"Thanks for your help, but I should go now."

"You should buy a bucket from my friend who owns the General Store there."

"I don't want a bucket, leak in my roof, or anything else you'll suggest. Have a good day ok?"

"Have a good day young lover."

"Ok. Thanks." I opened the door up when I remembered the very last thing he said. "Why am I a 'young lover'?"

"Because you're not an old lover."

"Why do you say I'm a lover at all?"

"A woman like you would surely have a man you love."

"I'm not dating anyone."

"But you still must have that someone special."

"And that someone special is the reason I'm having to get more flour for my cookies."

"What did he do?"

"Burned the cookies from the bottom of each cookie to the center."

"You'll have to teach him how to bake cookies then? Yes, no?"

"I might."

"You could try training him with a bucket of water."

"Old man, you can be very interesting at times."

"Yes, but sometimes my children are running the shop."

"I got to get going."

"Bye young lover."

"Bye old man."

* * *

Itachi sat and waited for Haiku to show up again. He really felt like he needed to apologize for burning each and every cookie she was planning on giving out tomorrow for the Akatsuki…

With a sly little smirk, he thought to himself, 'But I got her something she's gonna like.'

I appeared right next to him, making Itachi jump out of his seat just the slightest bit that I wouldn't of been able to notice without my sharingun activated. "Did you wash everything?"

"Yes."

"Thank you." I gave him a small kiss on the cheek.

"Need any help?"

"Mix the ingredients I put in the bowl."

"Ok."

* * *

Seating Arrangements:Muki Tobi Sasori Deidara Empty Hidan Kakuzu Zetsu Kola Haiku Itachi Kisame Konan Pein

* * *

"What the FUCK is this?! It isn't fucken meatballs you fucken messed in the head bitch!" Hidan ranted after being served dinner just like the rest of us. Kola insisted anyway.

"Ever heard of a substitute?" I asked. "Besides you're the one who's messed up in the head."

"I am NOT crazy like your fucken sister!"

"Um… What is it exactly?" Kisame repeatedly poked the meatball substitute with his chopstick.

"Raw Broccoli I shoved in right after the sauce was done cooking!" Kola proudly declared.

Itachi secretly watched as I picked up a ball of broccoli and placed it in my mouth, slowly chewing. His gaze switched between his own green vegetables to my plate that I picked out the 'meatballs' one by one and eating them first. When Kola was sitting down to enjoy her own meal, he rapidly picked up his broccoli and just about tossed them onto my plate.

He was rewarded by my impassive face looking directly at him. "What are you doing?"

"Don't care much for this green stuff." He whispered in my ear.

I picked up one and ate it. The second one of his, I tossed back onto his plate. "Eat _at least_ one." I grinned.

"Fine, but you get to keep the others."

"Deal, but you need to pass me the Parmesan Cheese."

"Kola, I don't fucken know why you fucken put in vegetables in the fucken sauce for fucken meatballs if the sauce is going to be the same fucken delicious tomato sauce!" I looked over at Hidan who had the traces of the red sauce covering his lips and just the slightest bit on his cheeks around his mouth. He must have used that big mouth of his to shove so much in at one time.

The empty seat with a plate and disappearing spaghetti next to Tobi's spot was obviously Muki. Sure it was clear the 'Ghost' of the Akatsuki Base was joining everyone else in having a good meal, but did she want them to know she ate just like everyone else or did she simply not want to wait for everyone else to finish and leave?

Kola picked up a good sized peace of broccoli and threw it at the center of Itachi's cheek while I was leaning back in my seat. Kola was on my left side and Itachi on my right. I silently watched as he too leaned back and instead, it hit Kisame.

Tobi watched quietly on the opposite side of the table from Kola. He wanted to get Muki to stop from what she was about to do, though part of him wanted to laugh directly after Muki made her move, but either way, he was set on not alerting Kola.

Kola leaned forward, looking to the right to see who the projectile hit. Kisame saw her and immediately knew she was the one who did it.

Sasori just finished what he was saying to Deidara about their views on art when he glanced at Kola. He did a double take to make sure the handful of spaghetti floating above Kola's head was really there. His eyes grew wide as he continued to stare. He tapped on Tobi's shoulder and pointed straight at Kola. Tobi only nodded in response.

"What? Is something wrong with my face or is it my hair?" Kola questioned the two.

Haiku wished to find out what the fuss was about and automatically noticed the threat looming directly over Kola's head.

Drip

A drop of the sauce landed in the center of her head. She looked up to investigate and…

Splat

Kola grabbed a handful directly from her own plate and threw it in the direction she thought Muki was.

"Kukuku you missed."

Kola threw more in the direction of the voice and hit Deidara, landing right on his bangs.

"UN!" Deidara looked furious with his golden blonde hair stained red. He infused some of his explosive clay with some of his own food and chucked it at Kola. "_Katsu_."

The explosion with so much food caused Zetsu (his shell closed and protected him), Kola, Haiku, Sasori and Tobi to get splattered.

'IT'S A FUCKEN FOOD FIGHT!" Hidan bellowed.

With a grin, Kakuzu slammed Hidan's face in his plate., making his entire face to be covered.

Joining the fun, both Haiku and Itachi threw food at each other. They both leaned back to avoid Kola's shot that even got past Kisame and hit Pein all the way at the end of the table. He sat still, not yelling or trying to get the food fight to stop. With his left hand, he swiped it across his face to wipe away the noodles plastering to his face.

Hidan felt around, his head stuck in his food by Kakuzu's hand, he obtained a roll and tossed it in a seemingly random direction, hitting Konan who sat next to Pein. No one sat at the head of the table. She too didn't react, only sat there, wondering to herself if **anyone** here had the ability to stop all this nonsense or at least try.

Pein looked towards the opposite end of the table to where Tobi sat. The spot at the end was vacant thought the invisible person had been eating there.

Tobi knew he was being watched, so he looked in that direction.

Pein gave Tobi a pleading, but also one that wanted to know why. 'Get you _wife_ to stop and end this food fight.'

Tobi ignored Pein's plea, but eventually returned it with one that would say something along the lines of 'I can't.'

Muki was running around, invisible and undetectable to even the sharingan. Only Tobi trained himself to see where she was. Muki was continuingly plastering random people along with the rest of the people who where unable to get her, so resorted to just getting one another.

* * *

The food fight had ended, and the room had cleared out except for Pein, Konan, Madara and Muki.

"Pein, clean this mess up." Madara turned to leave, but plucked a long noodle handing on his mask halfway through the turn.

"No. _The Ass_ is cleaning while the bastard can do what he pleases."

"What?!"

"You do as _she_ says?" This concept was new to both Pein and Konan.

"No."

Madara was suddenly pulled down o Muki's height by his scarf. "Couch?" A warning that Madara automatically began his work cleaning to avoid the most despised couch treatment.

"You two should go now. Madara dear, you missed a spot." Muki plucked off the noodle clump from her shoulder that only she could see and dropped it on the white tiles he had just cleaned. Their Little Princess sure had good timing and had been able to sense her exact location. Muki had to remember that and how her daughter was still a fast learner, even before she activated the Internal Mangekyo Sharingan.

* * *

**Author's Note: FOOD FIGHT!!! Heh. Now Haiku also knows who her parents are. I know she's always known her parents, but now she knows what they're disguised as in the Akatsuki. The Lollypop Ninja and Ghostie as referred to by Kola. Itachi isn't too good at baking cookies…**

**I really appreciate all of the support i got recently. It really makes me feel happy that my story hasn't been ditched because the first one was finished. ^_^  
**


	6. Chapter 6: The Art of Gift Giving

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

**Haiku & Kola 2: Relationship Problems**

**Chapter 6: The Art of Gift Giving

* * *

**

"Deidara-siempa! What's this Deidara-siempa?" Tobi shook the present. The ringing of multiple bells could be heard from within the blue box with yellow ribbon.

"Tobi, give it back, un!"

"Not until siempa tells who it's for!"

"It's mine you little turd!"

"Is it for _that_ girl?" Tobi whispered.

"It's none of your business!"

"But Tobi wants it to be Tobi's business."

"Give it back un!!"

"It's for that girl Deidara-siempa danced with isn't it?"

"Is Tobi a good boy?" Haiku entered the room. Tobi stopped running and Deidara was tripped on seemingly nothing and fell right through Tobi.

"Tobi's a good boy!"

"Then give it back to Deidara."

"Ok Haiku-chan."

* * *

Shikamaru heard a knock at the door. He set his present from Sonya down, a soft, white pillow, and went to see who was at the door. When he opened up the door, no one was there. He took a step forward and his foot lightly hit the package that was left behind, a blue present with yellow ribbon. "Huh?" He picked it up and checked the tag.

* * *

_To Miss Sonya Nara_

* * *

Shikamaru resumed his spot and tugged on the neat little bow. A little bug showed up out of what seemed like nowhere.

"Shikamaru, what kind of bug is that?"

"I don't know Sis."

"Where'd you find it?"

"On this."

"Who's it for?"

"You."

"Can I have it?"

Shikamaru tugged on it again, causing the bow to come apart just the slightest bit. The insect climbed onto Shikamaru. He pulled the ribbon harder, untying it.

Boom

"Shikamaru!"

"Ow… I'll be ok."

"That was my present. You should have known better than to open it!" She replied, ignoring his complaints.

Shikamaru lay there twitching as Sonya picked up her present and walked off.

When the pain subsided, Shikamaru opened his eyes and sat up, automatically spotting another insect looking straight at him. Shikamaru tensed weighing his options, but the bug turned and scurried off in the direction Sonya had went.

* * *

Sonya tugged the ribbon the rest of the way off when the second bug showed up in her room. She stood up, set the gift on her bed and pulled a kunai out. The organism stopped scurrying towards her, but after a short pause, took weary steps closer. Thinking fast, Sonya took the bowl that used to have seedless grapes from earlier, she trapped the bug and placed a heavy cat figurine on top of the bowl. She went back to the present and opened it up. Inside was a bunch of yellow yarn. Pulling that out, she found the source of all the ringing, cat toy balls with bells inside of the plastic framework.

* * *

I placed the big plate of cookies on the table. "These are my gifts to you, but only take the one with your name on it." I picked out my own cookie and bit into the soft and chewy pastry. In my neat cursive, I drizzled melted chocolate.

"Is something wrong Sasori-danna?" Deidara asked.

"You want mine?" Sasori presented his cookie.

"Tobi wants to know why Sasori-san doesn't want the giant cookie?"

"I can't eat anything now that I'm a puppet." Sasori explained.

"Oh… Can Tobi have it?"

"No, I asked Deidara first. Sorry." Sasori apologized.

"Tobi says it's ok."

"What the hell?! Why does Pein get seven fucken cookies?" Hidan complained.

"Because there are six different Pein and I believe there might be a seventh one that controls them all." Haiku reasoned.

"Zetsu, look, there's one for Ghostie!" Kola exclaimed.

That cookie started floating in the air. "Come here Tobi."

Tobi's eyes grew wide, the way _she_ called him in that seemingly _innocent_ way…

The five other Pein showed up and the first Pein distributed the numbered cookies. The first on however, was taken by Konan who also had her own and disappeared.

* * *

The other gifts had been passed out in the Akatsuki. They all sat in the living room with the presents.

"Whose the wise guy who took two kitchen knives?" Kisame questioned, being the last one to enter the living room.

"Don't know." Sasori stated.

"This is fucken awesome! Wait, why did you give me a fucken kitchen knife Deidara?" Hidan was proudly showing the knife off.

"Why do I need this Deidara?" Itachi stared at the knife.

"To do your cutting." Deidara responded.

"I don't inflict damage upon myself."

"Well anyway… You could might need to commit suicide if you date her." Deidara glanced over at Haiku.

"No."

"Haiku, what'd you get from Stalker?"

Haiku pulled the box open. Her eyes grew wide, Haiku twitched and as fast as she could, the box was closed up. "Itachi, you think like a praying mantis!" The box was consumed in black Amaterasu flames; no one would ever know what was inside.

Itachi frowned; he really thought she'd like it. Kisame only chuckled at her reactions. He was the only one besides Itachi and Haiku to know what the gift was.

Muki opened up the present from Madara. She was insulted to the extreme! He knew full well she **loathed** kimonos! Formal dressing made her sick to her stomach and were so degrading to womankind. Clothing should be clothing where the wearer wouldn't be restricted from movement, especially for a ninja.

"How does Ghost like her present?" Tobi asked.

"I bet you'll love playing dress up with it."

"What?"

"Oh you heard me."

"But it's for you."

"Because you wanted me to make sure you can play dress up."

Madara knew he shouldn't have gotten her a fancy, silk kimono… He looked down at his own present. What did she have planned for him? He pulled out the clothing and held it up. Was that a… _mini_ _skirt_? Oh god, she was planning on forcing him to wear it! He shoved it back in the box as quickly as he figured out what it was.

"Why?"

"You were obviously a wanna-be woman when I first met you."

"You better not--"

"Of course you will be wearing the mini skirt and this" She twitched while saying the single word "_lovely _kimono."

"But these are for women."

"I know."

Zetsu was looking at the big present from Kola. What was it this time? The last time he got a present from her like this was a giant bag of marshmallows. They both got completely sick from playing fuzzy bunny all night long with a bag the size of half a twin sized bed. Of course they got sick by playing until the very last marshmallow was consumed!

Zetsu wondered what Kola had in mind this time. He pulled out the light green material that could be heated up easily and stay warm for a long time afterwards. It was like a pair of gloves, but these large ones were the exact shape of his Venus Flytrap. One could fit on each half of his shell. Kola was really something else. That's one of the things he loved about her. She was so unpredictable at times. Zetsu had a feeling in his gut he'd need to use these to keep his foliage warm in these cold winter times.

* * *

It took a while for Sonya to remember the clay bug was still trapped from underneath the confines of her bowl. Sonya used a clone to get ready to catch it as the original Sonya pulled the bowl off. The bug was still there, but to tell the truth, it looked like it had simply fallen asleep instead of trying to escape. She tapped it to see if it was still alive; it jolted awake and rushed out of her room. Sonya was more curious if not anything else. She transformed into a cat and kept up with the insect. Her mother opened up the door to let the house get some fresh air inside when the bug escaped. Sonya sat out on the doorstep, out of the snow. A few minutes later, she heard the faintest sound of a little explosion.

That was familiar… Like the kind of explosives that blonde used. The one who couldn't stop saying 'un'. That wonderful present was most likely from him, but why send bugs to stay with the gift? Sonya put her front paws together in a pattern her brother had developed the habit of using. The blonde transvestite must have wanted to make sure she was the one that opened it up. But why give her anything at all? Was there some hidden purpose for this or was it just because he… liked her? That's a scary thought. Someone liking a shape-shifter like her. Sure she had been told she was gorgeous, but Sonya never believed them. Sonya was Sonya and so Sonya looked like how Sonya wanted to. Her hair was extremely long and kept in a braid simply because Sonya wanted to have it that way.

There must be some way she could infiltrate the S-Ranked Missing Ninja that captured the two healers. The question was simply how…

* * *

"Where you going, Mammal?" I was writing away in my diary.

"Mission."

"See ya later then?"

"Of course."

"What kind of mission?"

"I got to go. Kisame's waiting."

I looked up from my diary. "Aren't you going to give me a hug before you leave?"

"You want a… _hug_?"

"What's so wrong with a simple hug?" I approached him.

"Well nothing but…"

I hugged him anyway. "How long are you going for?"

"Late tonight, possibly tomorrow."

I went back to my diary and finished up with the entry.

* * *

_Sometimes he does things that make me so furious with him, but no matter what… I still love him._

* * *

"Do you want me to inform Leader-sama?" Kisame suggested as the approached the Akatsuki HQ.

"No… I will." Itachi replied.

Kisame performed the hand signs required to allow the two to enter. "Night."

Itachi only nodded in agreement.

* * *

Itachi knocked on the door.

"Come in." The person on the other side of the door announced.

Itachi quietly opened the door and stepped inside.

"It's you." Pein looked up from his desk.

"The mission was a success."

"Very good." Pein finished writing in the scroll. "Deliver this to Tobi."

"Yes Leader-sama."

"That will be all."

Itachi took the scroll from Pein and left the room.

* * *

Itachi walked down the corridors. The door he stopped at was faintly glowing from a turned on light at the bottom of the door. There wasn't a single sound from within the room so Itachi figured it was simply empty and Tobi forgot to turn the light out when he left. Nonetheless, Itachi knocked and the door swung open.

He could now hear everything going on from within the room. Just who were those two? No, the question was why was Haiku's father with that woman and…

"Push harder."

Itachi grabbed the doorknob and closed the door with a small click. Maybe he would come back tomorrow… Instead, Itachi took a string and tied the scroll to the door before walking to his room.

He could hear the woman's voice. "Incompetent. How could you **not** lock the door? When you come back, you're banned to the couch."

The door suddenly opened up, revealing Madara thankfully in his boxers.

Why? Just why did he have to be running from this Madara as well? The true founder of the Uchiha Clan was furious and most likely wanted him dead for walking in on him and Muki. It wasn't his fault they soundproofed the room and didn't have the door closed all the way!

He suddenly felt himself face-plant the tiled floor. Itachi was pulled to his feet to only be punched with ruthless power square in the face and go skidding across the hall. Itachi got up and pulled out a kunai. Madara was there in less than a heartbeat. He sliced at the attacker, but the kunai went right through him.

Crack

Madara broke his arm with one solid blow. Itachi was used like a punching bag for the older Uchiha. His bones broke with every strike. He was bleeding everywhere. The only thing Itachi could do was glance down the hallway and hope someone would come. There was just no way to possibly fight back against the one he loved called 'Father'…

Itachi was picked up and forced to look at the longhaired shinobi's eyes; the sharingun blazing.

* * *

I woke up and checked the clock.

**1:25**

I wonder what got me to wake up so early in the morning? I expected Itachi's bed to still be empty, but it looked like Itachi was tossed onto the bed, not even using his pillow, legs hanging off at the very foot of the bed at his knees.

"Itachi?"

I got up to investigate. I leaned in closer to him to see if he was sleeping or in what my first guess was a coma. Strange… My hand hit a sticky liquid. I left his side and turned on the light. Looking at my hand, I realized I had gotten Itachi's blood on the palm of my hand. On the black comforter was his blood that was hard to see, but only around where he lay. He really was in a coma…

Couldn't be. Who would have the ability to do so anyway? Maybe it was a tough opponent… I used my skills I learned from the Terra Clan to check to see who the blood belonged to. All of it was Itachi's. It was apparent he hadn't wounded the enemy ninja, or at least got any of the blood on him.

Oh well… I'll ask him or Kisame about it when the sun comes up.

I performed complicated hand signs to draw all the spilt blood into one ball of blood that hovered above the palm of my hand. With the other hand, I used a few more hand signs to sanitize it so I could put it back into his body if his blood level was too low. Hn. Might as well put it where it belongs. Besides, I was able to revive the cells, and using my chakra, I slowly pushed it back into his veins with a thin string of blood.

Now that that was done, I went ahead and mended all the bones and then the cuts, scrapes, bruises and any other form of injury. At the very end, I got rid of the coma he was in. I took off his headband, put him so his head was resting on his pillow and tucked him in. I kissed him on his now exposed forehead, "I love you Mammal. Next time, be more careful."

* * *

Itachi woke up. Was there something he was forgetting? It wasn't every day he felt like this… The only thing he could remember was coming back after the mission with Kisame. Then… nothing. He couldn't even remember going to sleep or waking up to put Haiku back on the couch. Why was his headband on the nightstand?

"I see your finally awake." Itachi's attention was averted to Haiku who was reading a book while lying down on the couch.

"Hn…"

"What?"

"I don't know."

Haiku closed her book and sat up, swinging her legs over the side so she was facing him. "So what happened last night?"

Itachi blinked a few times.

"How'd the mission go?"

"Just fine."

"What happened after the mission?"

"We came back here."

"Then what?"

"I can't remember."

"Hn."

"Why do you ask?"

"I woke up at one twenty-five in the morning to see you in a coma from all the injuries someone gave you."

"Coma?"

"Yeah. Do you know what happened?"

"Not at all."

"Can't remember?" One name popped into Haiku's mind: Madara.

"Nope."

"Go get something to eat."

"I look just fine."

"You looked horrible, Mammal. I completely healed you."

"What did I look like?"

"Come here and I'll show you."

Itachi obeyed and sat down next to Haiku. She showed him the new memory of finding him in a coma and healing him.

* * *

"Where you going?"

"You need to eat something and I'm going to stop by and talk to Tobi for a minute."

"Ok…"

* * *

I arrived at an empty room. I scanned the room with my hidden sharingan, but not even Muki was here.

* * *

"Psst. Stalker, I want to talk to you." Kola got Itachi's attention. He was currently the only one other than Kola in the kitchen, but she still wanted to whisper.

"What?"

"Come here."

"Yeah?"

"I have the perfect opportunity for you, dearest Stalker."

"What kind of opportunity?"

Kola had a wide, devilish grin.

* * *

"Yes?" Konan answered the door into Pein's office.

"Do you know where Tobi is?" I politely asked.

"He's on a mission with Deidara."

"Do you know when he's coming back?"

"Sorry, I'm not."

"Where are they?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"I need to talk to him."

"Why don't you just wait until he comes back? It shouldn't be that long."

"Thanks anyway."

"You're welcome."

* * *

"Haiku!"

"What is it?"

"Stalker wanted me to give you this present since he had to leave on another mission!" Kola giggled.

I took it and opened up the box. My eyes lit up in delight. "How'd he get this?"

"It took him so long to find it. In fact, he just found it last night. It's the one you used to show me in your memories before you came to live with me." Kola nodded her head.

"It's been years since I've last seen it!" I pulled the teddy bear out of the box and crushed it in a hug.

"I told him about it and ever since then, he was set on trying to find your long lost teddy bear. This is the same exact one too!"

"Thank you so much!" I squeezed it even tighter against my chest.

Kola bit back her laughter. Itachi would've had a big nosebleed and a broken nose already.

"I'll have to thank him next time I see him." I released the stuffed animal just to carry it with my bent right arm.

"Yup. I'm glad you liked it."

"Isn't the movie you and Zetsu going on tonight?"

"I almost forgot!" Kola rushed off. "Thank you!"

* * *

"Sonya, I'm glad you came."

"What's going on?"

He pulled out a map. "We got a distress call from this region right here. The Stone Village has requested back up. They're saying stuff about strange disappearances of their top ninjas. Even some secret scrolls have been going missing one by one."

"Why can't they fend for themselves? It's not like they have their own ninja."

"They need help and they are our allies."

"So why me?"

"There have been rumors going on that the ninja we have identified as Akatsuki from the descriptions the Stone Village have given us have been sighted there."

"So you what do you want me to do?" Sonya now looked like she'd do the task.

"Find the cause of these strange movements and report your findings to the leader of the Stone or to me in the end. If the rumors are true…"

"Try and find out as much as I can while undercover."

"Yes."

"If I somehow manage to get within the group, then?"

"Find out as much as you can about each member. Like which get along with which and who doesn't like being around who. Also try and loosen their grip on Haiku and Kola if possible."

"Ok."

"You can travel with the other ninja I send there. Then you can do your own thing."

"Yes Hokage."

* * *

**Author's Note: Just what is Kola up to? What do you think Haiku will react to finding out Madara was indeed the one who beat Itachi into a coma? How will Madara and Muki deal with her? What is your guess what Itachi was trying to give to Haiku when she destroyed it with the Amaterasu? ^_^  
**


	7. Chapter 7: Itachibear

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

**Haiku & Kola 2: Relationship Problems**

**Chapter 7: Itachi-bear

* * *

**

I was becoming bored out of my mind. First Itachi is gone on a mission. Then Kola and Zetsu are off to see some movie she's been bugging me about wanting to see for months now. Ever since she first heard they were in the middle of making the darn movie. After that, Father is on a mission with Deidara so I can't talk to him about his connection with Itachi being in a coma. Nor have I heard Mother or estimated her spot with my sharingun. After all, I've been in the mood for chess. If not that, then Shogi's just as good.

I looked through the eyes of the crane Itachi had. Well what do you know? He was a dick and locked the red crane up in a box with some kind of weight on it. Well that's just _great_! Now how am I supposed to talk to him?

It seems as if I've been abandoned, but I know that's not true. Besides, I know what it feels like to be cast out into the world by yourself. Well… even then, I had Flame and his family.

I sat in the middle of Itachi's bed, with my old stuffed bear next to me. I might as well replenish my supply of paper cranes.

* * *

Soon the whole bed was covered in paper cranes, sitting with only the wingtips touching. I put the sticky notes and the cranes away. I got my bed on the couch even though Itachi still wasn't back. Nor was Father. I was lying in my spot on the couch when I remembered Itachi wasn't here to turn off the light. I pulled myself out of bed, turned out the light and picked up my teddy bear I left on Itachi's bed.

* * *

Kola poked her head into Itachi's room. Haiku was sleeping away and of course Itachi was being held right on top of her on the left side. Right up against the back of the couch.

With a jutsu, Kola soundproofed the room and then used another jutsu to make sure Haiku was in a deep sleep. The third one she used allowed Itachi to talk out loud. She'd undo three jutsu when she was ready to leave.

"Itachi-bear."

"Kola?"

"So how's Stalker like being treated as Haiku's long lost teddy bear?"

"It's great."

"Aren't you glad you have no bones with those hugs she's given you?"

"Oh yes."

"You know how hard it is to **not** laugh when I saw you first get your face slammed into her chest?"

"I have no idea."

"So you ready to turn back to yourself?"

"NO!"

"Why not?"

"Um…"

"You like those hugs _don't you_?"

"It's not that. I get to see the side of her that isn't the one that's always directed at me."

"What's that?"

"You touch me inappropriately again and I'll make you pay someway or another."

Kola busted up laughing.

"Hn."

"I'll let you stay like this for… one more day."

"That it?"

"_That it_?"

"Who's idea was this in the first place?"

"Why do _you_ want to know?"

"This doesn't seem like something you'd be able to come up with on your own."

"Cause I got help now."

"Who?"

"I can't tell you."

"It's not Zetsu is it? He doesn't seem like one who would come up with this either…"

"No, not Zetsu-san."

"What happened to Haiku's first boyfriend?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Just wondering. She showed me when your mother was trying to find someone for her."

"Oh… Is it just because you're afraid of dating her after Deidara gave you a knife from the kitchen and said you might need it to commit suicide?"

"Of course not!"

Kola tilted her head to one side, "So Stalker..."

"What?"

"What _did_ you get for Haiku?"

"It's none of your business."

"Yes it is. I'm her sister, so I have the right to know." Kola crossed her arms.

"I don't see why she didn't want it." Itachi mumbled half to himself.

"What was it?"

"Black lace underwear."

Kola blinked a few times, "Did you get the wrong size?"

"No. It was correct."

"How would you know?"

"I just know."

"Have you been looking at her underwear?"

"Hn. I haven't."

"LIES!"

"..."

"I saw you looking through her underwear drawer!"

"It was a mistake."

Kola yawned, "I should be going to bed."

"Ok."

"Good night Stalker." Kola undid the three jutsu and teleported to Zetsu's room.

* * *

"Deidara-siempa, did we get all of them yet?" Tobi was busy making a snowman while Deidara wasn't looking.

"Un."

"So we get to go home now?"

"I guess so. It's morning, so we'll have plenty of daylight to travel by un."

"Yay!"

"But we need to be extra careful we don't get any followers."

"Aw…"

Some snow behind a bush compressed from a new weight.

"Whose there?"

Sonya silently cursed at herself for not being something that could fly instead of her human form.

Tobi finished up on the snowman instead of worrying about the newcomer.

"Come out or all blast you out!"

'Damn! Guess I have no other choice…' Sonya sighed. She sighed before transforming and coming out.

"Deidara-siempa was going to blow up a cat?"

"Tobi shut up un."

"But it's a cute cat!"

The Siamese with the tips of darker fur being a black. The Siamese sat down in the snow; it's crystal blue eyes shining up at the two Akatsuki. The cat adorably meowed, picked up a paw and swiftly licked it.

Deidara looked over to see what his idiotic partner was doing. "What'd you make a snowman for un?"

Tobi took off his hat and set it on the snowman's head. "All done Deidara-siempa!"

"Tobi, get your hat, we're leaving."

Tobi obediently put the hat back on. "But what about the cute kitty?"

"Leave it alone un."

"But can't we bring it home? Please Deidara-siempa?" Tobi begged.

Sonya came up to Deidara, rubbing her face up against his shins and loudly purring. Deidara picked up the Siamese and looked at. Sonya simply closed her eyes and purred louder which was surprisingly possible.

"Fine. We're bringing it with us un."

"Yay! Tobi's a good boy! So is the kitty!" Tobi frantically ran in circles around Deidara.

Deidara set the cat down to make a clay bird to travel on. He climbed on and Tobi took a seat in the back as usual. Sonya didn't want to be left behind and jumped up onto the bird's head. She found a cozy spot and curled up in a ball. She was sure to stay up and pay attention to the directions, no matter how tempting it was to use this opportunity to take a catnap.

* * *

I sat at the small table that could only fit a chessboard. Should I play against myself or something? It'll be something to do…

When I was still trying to decide, one of the white pieces moved.

"Do you dare to accept my challenge?" Muki was sitting in the chair on the other side of the table.

I picked up a black piece and moved it. "That I do."

"Good… Kukukuku."

* * *

Sonya was being carried inside by the one who resembled a lollypop while the blonde fireworks master carried a bag filled with the missing scrolls belonging to the Stone Village. She couldn't see the hand signs Deidara used to open up the passageway inside the mountain, but was fascinated by the labyrinth inside.

They took countless twists and turns that she couldn't memorize, but she spotted closed doors on the way there. They stopped at a door where hallway they were in ended. The only way was back from where they came from when the one who kept claiming he was a good boy knocked. A blue haired woman answered and let them in though she looked at Sonya suspiciously.

"Did you get them all?" The one with many piercings that Sonya immediately remembered was named Pein just like five other ones.

"Yes Leader-sama un." Deidara set the bag on the desk Pein was sitting behind.

"Good. And why do you have a… cat?"

"Tobi's a good boy!"

Pein gave Tobi a skeptical look. "Why's there a cat in my office?"

"Can we please keep it un?"

"No." Pein replied.

"Please?" Tobi begged.

"No. I'm not going to have a cat wandering about here."

Tobi presented the cat with outstretched hands. "But Tobi promises it'll be a good boy!"

Sonya hissed.

"Um… Good girl!"

Sonya started purring loudly.

"I don't care. I'm not going to be the one taking care of her."

"I will un."

Pein raised an eyebrow at the blonde transvestite.

"Really un. I'll get and change the litter box, feed her and make sure she has plenty of water un."

"I'm not paying for cat food."

"I have plenty of money un."

"Then go ahead and keep her, but just remember, I'm not taking care of this cat."

"I know Leader-sama. I will un."

"Then you better get whatever this cat needs."

"But Deidara-siempa, what are you going to name her?" Tobi scratched behind Sonya's ear.

"Mayhem." Deidara took Sonya from Tobi.

"But is that a girl's name Deidara-siempa?"

"I don't care if it isn't, but it is now un."

* * *

I watched her move and tried to decide what I would do next. "Hn…" We both were running out of pieces. I placed my bishop right in the line of fire of her queen. She saw what I was planning and immediately took out my bishop with her queen. I smiled. I took out her queen with my rook she didn't notice sitting right there, protecting the bishop. Now in just a few more turns I'll be able to win.

Muki twitched. How **dare** her daughter take out the queen? "You're not supposed to take out the backbone!"

I caught the white king she had thrown at my nose. I set it down on the table to have to catch a pawn, then the knight. "You're not supposed to throw the pieces!" I was caught off guard by her throwing the entire board at me. In fact, I do believe it was aimed at my head.

The door in the library opened and then closed signaling her departure. I checked with my sharingun just to make sure. "What's her problem?" I mumbled getting up and setting the teddy bear onto the chair since it was sitting on my lap the whole game. I picked up the board and set it back on the table and then had to gather the scattered pieces and put them in the correct starting positions.

* * *

Still a cat, Sonya turned on the light and investigated Deidara's room. It was surprisingly clean except the fact there was huge mound of clay covering the entire desk space. She turned off the light and did her best to turn the doorknob while still a cat. The door swung open on her and Deidara stepped in. Right before Deidara turned on the light and shut the door, Sonya could have sworn she saw Haiku walk by.

* * *

I softly knocked at my parents' room. The teddy bear I had left in Itachi's room. Tobi answered, "Haiku-chan!"

"What are you doing?"

"What do you mean?"

"Mom, let me in."

Muki let Haiku in and turned into her normal self. The reason she was disguised as Tobi was because she forbid him from leaving the couch unless she said so.

"Little Princess, do you always have that sharingan activated?"

"Not always, but usually." I glanced towards the couch to see Dad just sitting there, and was no longer in disguise as Tobi.

"Something we can help you with?" Muki brushed a strand from my ponytail back to the back with all the rest of my long hair.

I crossed my arms with a straight face. "Dad, we need to talk."

"Hn?"

Mother sat on the bed. "Why did you put Itachi in a coma?"

"I didn't do anything to him."

"Kukukuku."

"The only thing he remembered was coming back from his mission and being inside the labyrinth."

"That doesn't mean I did anything." Madara denied.

"You're the only one who can put him in a coma."

"What about that bastard, Pein?" Mother suggested.

"Dad's the only one who can erase his memory of the event."

"Kukuku. You can't deny that Madara."

"Why would you care?" Madara had his arms crossed. After all, because of Itachi, he was banned to the couch for a week if he stayed on Muki's good side that is.

"He was the first and only friend I had until I was separated from you two."

"Is that all?" Muki smirked.

I couldn't help smiling, "And I love him."

Mother only smiled, but Father looked outraged. "What do you see in someone like him?"

"Not quite sure."

"He can't even beat you in battle." Madara continued.

"I'd say the same to you."

Madara twitched. "He's weaker than you too."

"One of us has to be."

"He looks like your twin."

"But he's not."

"He wants to rape you."

I only twitched.

"He doesn't respect you."

"If he didn't, he would have raped me by now."

"He's going blind."

"You did too."

"He doesn't understand our household's way of affection."

"He'll learn."

"He can't defend himself."

"Only from the likes of _you_."

"You're not a rouge. He is. You're both in different worlds of shinobi."

"I know."

"Have you ever dated someone before?"

"By force."

"What happened to him?"

I squeezed my eyes shut. "I never said I'd date him!" I spun around and slammed the door shut behind me.

Muki turned her gaze to Madara. "Incompetent."

"How?"

"You need to learn how to be a better father for her. After all, she looked like she was trying to not cry."

Madara grumbled incoherent words.

* * *

Everyone sat at the table for dinner. Deidara let Sonya out of his room, so she followed him in and Deidara set in the empty spot at the table right between him and unfortunately Hidan. She had to stand on her back paws to be able to see above the table.

"Why is there a fucken cat sitting at the damn table?"

"I said she could stay." Pein responded.

"First we have to bitches we have to take forever to fucken capture and bring to this hellhole and now we have a fucken cat?!"

"Her name is Mayhem un."

"Mayhem's a good girl!"

"I'd never think we'd have a pet here." Sasori mumbled.

"She's a great girl un." Deidara promised.

Sonya just decided to sit down and performed a jutsu without anyone noticing. This one was something her great-great-great grandfather taught her. He said something about only the shape shifters of the family would know it and should then only teach it to other shape shifters in the family. There was one catch to her family's abnormalities; only two would be around at once. The older would teach to the younger the ways of the shape shifter as he said. It was simply a jutsu that allowed her to hear the thoughts of those around her that she chose while the jutsu is in effect.

She started with Hidan. 'Fuck that damn money whore Kakuzu! One of these fucken days Jashin's gonna fucken smite that bastard to fucken hell! Fuck man!' _Ok then_…

What about the guy next to him? 'If Hidan dares to rant in the middle of dinner tonight, I'm going to kill that religious bastard.' Is that Kakuzu then? I'll find out later.

What about that guy Hidan said he likes to feel? 'I wonder what Konan's thinking about?' We'll just have to see then.

'We better not have another food fight. If only Madara could keep his wife behaved then we wouldn't have gotten spaghetti everywhere yesterday.'

Now the mermaid. After all, if a mermaid is a fish and Kisame's a shark, which is a fish, then Kisame, is a mermaid. 'That cat reminds me of that lady who was cutting open those innocent baby sharks.' Hope he doesn't figure it out.

Empty spot huh? Ok, the next one then, Haiku. 'Where's Itachi? Shouldn't he be back already?'

Kola sure does look happy for being forced back here with Haiku. 'Fuzzy wuzzy bunny. Fuzzy wuzzy bunnies. Fuzzy Bunny. Fuzzy Bunny. Do we have any marshmallows?'

The oversized weed eats along with everyone else? 'That was a good movie. **You just liked sitting with Kola.** You did too. **What game will she suggest after dinner?** Fuzzy bunny or **truth or dare.**'

Empty spot. Wait a minute, there's someone there? 'What should I use on him tomorrow? That Samehada or… ooooh… what about those scythes? I'll just be sure to make sure there's no blood on it when I return it. If I use that on _the_ incompetent ass.' _Ok then_. _Creepy_…

Tobi? 'I can't believe she _actually_ let me eat this time. Usually, she'd just taunt me with food for a few hours and then she'd let me have it. At least it's not that sexual torture. I hate it when-' Rather not hear the rest of that.

The redhead? 'True art lasts for an eternity.'

Deidara? 'Un. Katsu. BANG! Un. _Katsu_. BANG! Wonder what Sonya's up to un?' Oh I dunno… Listening in on everyone's thoughts. Yeah…

* * *

I grabbed my teddy bear and got comfortable on the couch. Once again, I forgot Itachi wasn't here to turn off the light. I dragged myself out of the warming up blankets to turn off the light. I got back to the couch and tried to get comfortable again. I lay in bed and just thought about my life. Now that I think about it, I was like the Terra Clan's guinea pig without even knowing it at such a young age, but at least I was still treated like family. After all, they were in the dark about the Uchiha Clan until I joined.

I was about to fall asleep when I gave my teddy bear a hug. I yawned and started to drift off to sleep.

* * *

Kola silently teleported into Itachi's room. With a sinister grin on her tanned face, she turned Itachi back into his usual self and teleported right outside of the room…

* * *

I was hugged back. Wait a minute… That's not right! I jerked awake and met eyes with Itachi.

* * *

Kola heard Haiku scream and it was followed by a loud thud. Kola did the best she could to not explode with laughter.

* * *

I sat on the floor, completely caught off guard. But that wasn't the only thing wrong with that picture…

The next thing I knew, I was out of his room and running. I don't even know where I was running to. I took countless turns, but it was as if I wasn't in control of my own body. The only thing I knew was I just wanted to get away from him.

* * *

**Author's Note: And that is why it's called Itachi-bear! I actually got the name from one of my good friends, Googala2's story Criminal Passions. In that particular story, Madara calls Itachi Itachi-bear. So when I was thinking about possible ideas, I wanted to incorporate that somehow and then I thought of Kola turning Itachi into a teddy bear and then giving him to Haiku as a present. Yeah… Hope you enjoyed it!**


	8. Chapter 8: Peng Senju

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

**Haiku & Kola 2: Relationship Problems**

**Chapter 8: Peng Senju

* * *

**

Kola watched as Haiku ran off. It wasn't _that_ bad. Sure he wouldn't be wearing anything after being turned back to normal, but that didn't mean Haiku had to scream, fall off the couch and run for it.

The door opened up by-- was that Tobi? Where did he come from anyway? And so fast too! Kola nodded her head. The door swung shut and Kola could barely hear the sound of cutting flesh.

"Hope no one died…" Kola said out loud with a frown on her face. 'Now that would be bad.'

The door opened back up and Tobi came out. He still had that uncontainable dark aura around him as when he first showed up. He then disappeared as fast as he had appeared.

"Wonder what that was all about…"

She poked her head inside.

Itachi was wide-eyed, "Please get Haiku."

"What for munch much?"

"Just please do it." Itachi pleaded.

"Ok." Kola ran for the direction Haiku had gone in. It would be faster to teleport, but she didn't know where Haiku was to teleport to!

Kola suddenly stopped in the hallway right in front of the kitchen when she came up with a great idea. "I'll get Zetsu to help!"

* * *

I was sound asleep when I got a call through crane. I slowly opened my eyes and groggily replied, "Yeah?"

"Haiku, it's you."

"Who would it be other than me?"

"It doesn't matter, but I need you to come here."

"Where's here?"

"My room. Kola's looking for you too."

"What does she want?"

"I sent her to find you."

"What's going on?" I became fully awake.

"Uh… well… Just please come."

"Ok." I ended the conversation. Maybe I should have used the crane to see what was going on since he refused to tell me.

A black hand came through the side of the tree and grabbed ahold of the collar of my shirt. The person forced me to merge with the wood of the apple tree I hollowed out and was sleeping inside so I wouldn't be disturbed. I wasn't even meaning to come here in the first place!

"Zetsu?"

He let go of my clothes. "Kola was looking for you."

"I just heard."

"**What were you doing in there?**"

"Sleeping." I tapped on the tree and made it back to its unhollowed out form. Hollowing out trees with the Terra's technique like that used on our homes doesn't harm the trees and they still continue to live healthy lives. "We going or not?"

"I'll let Kola know. **Teleporting to Itachi's room would be faster.** From what Kola mentioned, it would be best if you hurried. **There's no telling what your father did to him.**"

"Is he conscious and not in a coma?"

"Yes."

"Then as long as he's not dying or dead, he should be fine."

"**Kola should be joining you shortly.**"

"Ok." I teleported into Itachi's room and immediately located him with his back to me. "What's the big hurry?"

The silence lasted for what seemed like hours. That is, until Kola burst into the room. "I found her!"

"Zetsu found me after Itachi contacted me through crane."

"No fair." Kola crossed her arms with a pout on her face.

"Are you going to tell me what the problem is?"

Itachi gulped.

Kola turned on the light, made sure the door was shut and then teleported to the other side of Itachi. "Um…" Kola made her way to the door. "I'll let you deal with this Haiku."

"Why? What is it?"

"I don't think it would be right for _me_ to help Itachi with that problem." Kola bit back a giggle. "With you being his lover and all."

"What is it Kola?! And I'm not his lover!"

Kola let a little giggle escape through her firmly pressed lips. "Tobi castrated him."

"WHAT?!?!"

"Sorry. It's your job to help him." Kola escaped through the door.

"Itachi, it isn't true is it?"

"I wouldn't lie about this."

I put my hand to my head and took a deep breath. "Do I just need to reconnect it?"

Itachi's answer was short. "Yes."

In my head, I cursed my healing abilities. I could be like Kola and heal someone's injuries just by walking past them. Some things were more complicated than others that meant we had to do the healing the old fashioned way unlike having to do that way because we were around people who didn't know. But this was like when I had all those poisons. There was no way to get around this. If it was an elder, it would be different, but this was the… _second_ time I had to do that kind of work involving a penis. The first time was in the clan's training and now this. I'd rather heal the bones in Hidan's arms and listen to him ranting up a storm than do this any day!

"Before you loose all your blood, I better help you with this… _problem_." At least it was a clean cut… But it still didn't mean it took a half an hour to make sure I got everything right.

Why me?

* * *

I got up from the chair I took from Itachi's desk. Heading to the bathroom, "Itachi, _please_ get some clothes on."

I was halfway to the bathroom door when I heard him almost whisper, "Thank you."

"You're welcome." I replied. "Just let me know if I messed up somehow."

"I will."

* * *

Sonya woke up from her spot at the foot of Deidara's bed after she had been lightly kicked. 'If he was going to do that, then she could do this.' Sonya went up to where his head rested on his fluffy pillow. Looking down at him in her cat form, she did what Delilah loved to do to her when she slept in her bed as a human. Sonya got into the perfect position, and got comfortable, her fur right in Deidara's face. It would be like if she put a warm blanket directly on his face.

It wasn't long before Sonya felt a hand on her back and moved her. "Mayhem, are you cold un?"

"Meow!" Sonya lay on his chest after he decided on laying on his back again.

"You're a cutie Mayhem. You almost remind me of Sonya un. She's really beautiful too un."

Sonya loudly began to purr in delight.

* * *

"Itachi."

"Wha-"

"I can't sleep."

"Why not?"

"I don't know."

"Was it a bad dream?"

"Kind of."

"Is there anyway I can help you?"

"Doubt it, but I would like to show you the other part."

"Ok." Itachi sat up in bed.

I was sitting cross-legged right in front of him in a mere second. "What I'm going to skip was the parts I wasn't really there for. They picked out a boy my age and easily convinced them into letting him go to the movies with me."

"What was the name?"

"I don't remember."

* * *

"_Haiku, what are you doing sitting in that spot again?"_

"_Mom, what does it look like?"_

"_You have a date tonight."_

"_I don't want to go anywhere with a pervert."_

"_We picked him out for you."_

"_Who is it?"_

"_Peng."_

"_No!"_

"_Why not? He's your age."_

"_He's a Senju!"_

"_So?"_

"_The Senju boys are the ones who _**always**_ teamed up to try and kill me!"_

_"He wouldn't do that. He'll one day become a fine young man."_

"_I'm talking about now, not one day!"_

"_Just go, you'll see. He's not like the boys you're used to seeing from the Senju Clan."_

"_Fine." But this will be the only one I'm going to let you talk me into going on._

"_Now you better get ready."_

"_I __**am**__ ready."_

_"No, you should put this dress on."_

"_I'm not putting on a kimono or a dress or anything of the sort."_

"_You're a girl going on your first date. You should look nice for the event."_

"_I have no feelings towards some stranger you've set me up with a date and now you want me to wear some feminine clothing to do what? Engage his natural praying mantis fantasy world?"_

"_Then what are you planning on wearing?"_

"_This."_

"…"

"_It's plain and simple, a shirt and pants."_

"_Then let me fix your hair."_

"_I'll pass."_

"_Why not? Don't you like it when I do your hair?"_

"_I don't mind that part as much; it's just when you start sticking all those ribbons into it that I don't like."_

"_First impressions are important don't you know."_

"_Hn." That's why it'll be best to mess up on first impressions. Then he won't be talked into going on any more dates _they_ set up._

"_What are you doing bringing sticky notes with you for?"_

"_To fold. After all, he'll most likely be late."_

"_Fine, but don't go folding them during the movie."_

"_Movie? You didn't say __**anything**__ about a movie."_

"_Oops." Kolima had that innocent smile that Kola originally got from her._

"_In how long?"_

"_Half hour."_

"_I'm going then."_

"_About time you left your little perch."_

_I teleported to the gates of the Leaf Village, from there, I walked to the theater._

_With every step I took, there was a crease in the sticky note I was working on._

_Someone bumped into me. "Sorry. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."_

"_It's ok." I looked over to who was apologizing. My eyes lit up, Mammal!_

"_Do I know you?"_

_I put the unfinished crane away. "You should. I'm--"_

"_You're Haiku right? What are you doing talking to _him_?" I looked over to the newcomer. Black, short, straight hair. His skin was just barely tanned, but he wasn't anywhere near as pale as the Uchiha. He was wearing a fishnet shirt and gray pants._

_I rolled my eyes. "I can talk to whoever I wish."_

"_You were saying?"_

"_Can I _please_ talk to him _**alone**_ for one minute?" I asked the new kid._

"_No. You're my girlfriend and you're coming with me."_

_I clenched my fists. That action didn't go unnoticed by Itachi._

"_Hn. Girlfriend?" I could sense the slightest hint of amusement._

"Yes. She's MY girlfriend." He grabbed me by the upper arm and attempted to pull me away from the Uchiha Prodigy.

"_Let go of me right this minute." I said through clenched teeth._

"_Sorry, but I have to go." Itachi waved to me as he walked off._

"_I don't want you hanging around an Uchiha."_

"_Peng, you have no control whatsoever over my life."_

"_I do now."_

_Why did I let Kolima convince me to going to a stupid movie with a Senju who was most likely involved with my attempted assassinations at least twice?_

_

* * *

_

_During the utterly boring movie, his arm wrapped around my shoulders. Oh how I'd love to have a kunai with me… I grabbed his hand and put it back where it belonged. I then had to get his hand off my thigh._

_The credits rolled, signaling it was _finally_ over. About time! We entered the cool outside nighttime air when I felt him grab my butt. I spun around and slapped him across the face. "Do that one more time and I'll make you pay a much worse punishment. I pulled the unfinished crane out of my pocket and worked on finishing it up._

"_Where you going?"_

"_Home."_

"_Come with me to the park."_

"_The date's over and I'm going home."_

"_It's not over until I walk you home."_

"_Fine." Ugh, why am I here in the first place?_

_

* * *

_

_We entered the park when we both sat down on one of the stone benches underneath the light of one of many light posts present in the area._

"_Can I kiss you?"_

_I glared at him, "I'd rather die."_

"_Why not?"_

"_I dislike being anywhere near you."_

"_You're just saying that."_

"_What would my motivations be to lie?"_

"_You're just trying to hide your real feelings."_

"…" _I simply looked up ahead of the path. Honestly, haven't I already suffered enough in one night?_

_Two hands clamped onto the sides of my head and forced me to turn and look at him. He was going to kiss me by forcing me to keep still when something that had _**NEVER**_ happened before._

_I was shaking uncontrollably. It was like I was loosing complete control of my body. It was like the Inner Madara, but this one was completely unexpected. What was going on?! My hair became filled with messy curls appearing everywhere in my straight hair. Peng stopped what he was about to do and just held that pose._

_I lost compete control and could only watch what was happening. There would be nothing I could do. Just like the Inner Madara._

"_Kukuku." Mother?!_

_My body worked fast and the next thing I knew, he had one rope tied to his hands and the other end tied to his feet. The rope wrapped around two light posts and came back to where I was now sitting on a grassy little hill. The middle of the rope was tied to a kunai and I slowly began to turn it. The rope grew taunt and it was only a matter of time before Peng was up in the air, being slowly stretched more and more with every passing minute._

"_Please, let me go! I promise I'll respect your wishes. Just let me go."_

"_It's too late for you now. Kukuku."_

_He began screaming in agony. In a matter of minutes, there was a loud rip. He had been ripped into two separate pieces by the waist. The kunai I embedded into the ground right next to where I was sitting._

_Clan adults showed up around the area. Some of them were the elders. My body loosened up and the curls undid themselves. I now had complete control of my body, but unfortunately it was too late for Peng. Regardless of my huge dislikes for Peng, I couldn't help feel sorry for what I had done. Was that an Inner Muki? How was that possible?! I was trembling and I couldn't hold back the tears that just flooded forth._

_Hakuno was one of the ones that showed up. He came over to me and put his arm on my back. "Are you ok?"_

"_I killed him."_

"_It's fine to cry."_

"_I didn't mean to."_

"_What happened?"_

"_I don't know. I had no control and my hair turned… curly."_

_Hakuno's face grew serious. "Is it like the Inner Madara that shows up around once a year? Maybe even once every two years?"_

"_Yes."_

"_I see."_

"_How am I going to be punished?"_

_Hakuno wiped the tears off with his sleeve. "It wasn't your fault."_

"_But he's still dead."_

"_It doesn't matter."_

"_But the Leaf Village will be after me."_

"_No they won't. See what they're doing over there?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_What are they doing?"_

"_Putting him back together."_

"_Good. They are going to make it look like he died of natural causes."_

"_What are they going to make it look like?"_

"_Heart failure."_

"_Isn't the clan going to at least punish me?"_

"_No. They understand you have no control over the Inner Madara and this one's the same."_

"_Where's Kola?"_

"_At home. We were all watching what was going on."_

"_You… were?"_

"_Yes. Kolima and I made sure Kola didn't see him die."_

"_I'm really sorry for all the trouble I've caused…"_

"_Don't worry about it. It wasn't your fault."_

"_They're done."_

_"We can go home now." Hakuno picked me up and teleported the two of us back to the house._

* * *

"Well, now you know."

"It was unfortunate."

"Since then, they respected my wishes to stay home and not go on any more dates."

"Kolima and Hakuno seemed like great parents."

"They were, but it wasn't the same to grow up with them as my parents instead of Muki and Madara."

"I'm guessing they showed their affections all wrong?"

"Not completely. Mother and Father showed affection through physical contact like Hakuno and Kolima, but what they didn't do that Mother and Father did was torture. They're only half right by their standards."

"I still want to date you."

"Even after all that?"

"Like I said before, I experienced the Inner Muki once before and she liked me."

"I've only had an Inner Muki twice in my whole life."

"Hn." I got up again and headed to my bed, the couch. Itachi also got up and gave me a hug. "I don't care. I want to be with you till the end."

"Even if it's the cause of your death?"

"Of course. Even that won't keep me away."

I kissed him. "Good night Mammal."

"Night Writing."

* * *

"Haiku?"

"Hn?"

"You want to get some dangos?"

"Why not, it's not like we have a mission today."

"We do tomorrow."

"What is it?"

"Kisame is coming with us to go visit a good friend of his."

"Friend?"

"Yes."

I got up from my spot and put the book back on the shelf. "We going?"

"Sure."

* * *

We took our time down the hallway. We had all day to go there and we were most likely going to visit other places. Itachi would be wanting our time together to last as long as he could.

Kola swung around the corner and stopped right in front of us. "Where are you two going?" Her eyebrow rose.

"Dango Shop." I replied.

Her eyes grew wide, "A date?!?!"

Itachi shrugged his shoulders.

"What _else_ are you doing on this 'date'?"

"Why do you ask?" I asked.

"Are you going to…" Her voice dropped to a whisper, "make the baby?"

"Of course not!"

"You did hand rape him munch much."

"Did not!"

"I almost forgot. He _enjoyed_ it too much to be rape." Kola had that sinister grin.

"KOLA!"

"Bye." Kola darted past us.

I charged after her, leaving Itachi behind. "Kola get back here!"

Kola went back past Itachi's room, skipping Kisame's room and the training room and attempted to make her getaway in Hidan's room. I entered and Hidan was sitting in his bed, sharpening his sacrificial weapons.

I knew this was Hidan, not Kola in disguise.

"What the hell are you doing in my fucken room?!"

"Where did Kola go?"

"Disappeared."

"Teleported?"

"Yes."

"Thanks."

I was stepping out the door when Hidan screamed, "Now get the fuck out of my fucken room you bitch!"

I stopped.

"What the fuck are you still doing in here?!"

A crane flew from my pouch and headed right towards him.

"What the fuck?!"

Right when his mouth was open, the crane performed a suicide mission, flew right down his throat.

"I just feel like it." I headed out and lightly shut the door behind me.

Bang

The crane exploded and caused him to be decapitated. "Get back here you fucken bitch and fix my fucken head back onto my fucken shoulders!"

* * *

I got back to Itachi. "What was that?"

"Small explosion."

"What happened?"

"Hidan swallowed a crane."

"It was the cause of the explosion?"

"Yup."

"Why did you do that?"

"Kola escaped and I felt like it. It could also be to make up for him being a hyena when I couldn't summon my dragons."

"Are we going?"

"Yeah."

* * *

**Author's Note: Now you know her story of why she didn't want to date anyone ever again. Poor Itachi… He didn't do anything wrong _this_ time.**

**For who knows how long, I always thought it wasn't that good of a writer though I liked writing when I had the motivation and had a story I enjoyed working on. I was really amazed to find so many people who like what I write. Maybe it's the story ideas my friends help me with every now and then. Well, I dunno. ^/_\^**

**Oh and hisoka-ai9, i don't mind it at all when being asked for another update. It makes me a bit happy to know some don't want to wait for a whole week to read the next chapter. I know that would be a long wait for me if i were reading it. ^_^**

**That's the thing about Madara, he doesn't quite understand Haiku because he only had her while she was growing up for five and a half years. Even then, it wasn't like she was interested in boys. One reason why Haiku ran was because it was so shocking for her and it might have reminded her of her parents 'teaching' her the ways of making the baby. Now that i think about it, Haiku saw her own birth because Muki told Madara to show Haiku the memories with his sharingan.  
**


	9. Chapter 9: Dango Date

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

**Haiku & Kola 2: Relationship Problems **

**Chapter 9: Dango Date

* * *

**

We were traveling though the trees. "_So_… Where are we going?"

"A good dango shop a few miles away."

"What are we doing afterwards?"

"Why do you ask?"

"I bet you've come up with many things to do before asking me to come with you."

"Hn."

"Hn."

He glared at me for copying him.

"That it?" I pointed over to the little building at the edge of the town.

"Yeah."

We sat outside regardless of the snow surrounding us except the area the owners of the shop had removed.

A woman came out. She was about in her fifties. She smiled, "Ah, it's you again. This your friend?"

"Yes."

"What will you be having today?"

"Two cups of tea and two orders of honey dangos."

"Coming right up." She disappeared back into the house.

"Does she know you?"

"Yes and no. She doesn't know my name, but she knows what I look like."

"That means you must come here often."

"Only when I feel like it."

"Come on. Aren't you going to tell me?"

"Do you like dangos?"

"Of course I do."

She came back with the order. "Enjoy."

"Thank you." I smiled.

She went back inside. I picked up a dango and took a bite. "This is really good."

"Told you it was a good dango shop."

"I know."

* * *

"Shikamaru, have you seen Haiku lately?"

"I haven't, Sasuke."

"How's your sister?"

"Fine. She's on a mission."

"Ah."

"You looking for Haiku?"

"Yeah. Kakashi-sensei wanted her to teach me some jutsu."

"Why can't Kakashi-sensei teach you?"

"He doesn't know as many fire jutsu as her."

"I see. But what a drag!"

"When's the last time you saw her?"

"Sonya brought her and her sister over to spend the night. That's the last time for me."

"Thanks." Sasuke and Shikamaru split paths.

I smiled, "That was good. Thanks Itachi."

"We should go more often."

"I agree. So now where?"

"Any suggestions?"

"We still have half a day. Why not go to the movies?"

* * *

"Has anyone seen Itachi?" Kisame asked the other Akatsuki members at the dinner table.

"I haven't un." Deidara replied.

"They went on a date." Kola answered.

"The fucken twins are going on a fucken date?!" Hidan asked.

"Hidan, just because they look similar doesn't mean they're twins." Konan said.

"That fucken bitch blew my fucken head off!"

"How'd she do that un? I didn't know she liked explosives."

"She forced a fucken paper crane down my god damn throat and it fucken blew up when she left the fucken room."

"What kind of explosive what is un?"

"How am I supposed to fucken know what kind of fucken explosive took my fucken head off?"

"Meow."

Deidara stroked her cheek. "You're a good girl Mayhem un."

"Meow!" Sonya started purring.

Both Haiku and Itachi appeared in their seats. They didn't reach for any of the food.

"Hi munch much! How was the date?"

"Fine." Haiku replied.

"Itachi-san aren't you going to eat?" Kisame questioned his partner.

"We already ate dinner." Itachi answered.

"Deidara, what's her name?" Haiku asked, seeing Sonya sitting there in cat form.

"Mayhem un."

"Where'd you find her?"

"Near the Stone Village."

"Hn."

"Why?"

"Pretty cat. Siamese are very talkative."

Sonya secretly performed the hand signs for her mind reading jutsu. 'Did they really let Sonya in without knowing it's her? They obviously don't know it's her. Does Kola know?'

Sonya read Kola's mind, 'Hi Sonya!' Kola waved.

"Meow?" Uh oh. They better not tell me off.

* * *

"What's all that for?"

"Hn?"

"Nail polish for starters."

"Would you rather have a different color?"

"Nah, I'll wear that same shade of purple and confuse your little brother more."

"My foolish little brother can't seem to figure out the difference between us anyway."

"I can do it." I took the nail polish from him and began painting my nails.

"I also have your cloak and hat."

"Why do I have to wear all this? I don't mind the nail polish that much, but still."

"It's what the group wears and that's that. You're one of us, so you get to dress like us."

"What? Am I supposed to draw lines on my face so I'm more like you?"

"Very funny." Sarcasm lacing the two simple words.

"I'm going to sleep early."

"Ok."

"Sweet dreams Mammal."

"Good night Writing."

* * *

_I was carrying a tray of cookies up the stairs. I entered the floor with Kola's room. I was facing a wall of stuffed animals that looked like an ocean. It was even taller than myself._

_The Jaws Theme Song suddenly started being sung. Why was I having a bad feeling about this? Oh yeah, she plays rougher when Zetsu's playing too. Why do they add me in when they don't even ask first? Simply because I enter the floor…_

"_Cookies?" They can come out from anywhere at anytime now…_

"_Set the cookies down and you can live." Kola's voice escaped her stuffed animal ocean._

_I did exactly as she said and hurried towards the stairs only a few feet away. The theme song started up again as the back of my blue turtleneck was grabbed. I was pulled back into the ocean of different colored animals. "You lie!"_

_I was thrown onto Kola's bed that was surrounded on all sides by the 'ocean'. Completely stranded. The song started over. I backed up and my back hit the wall. Why did it have to be winter in a time where it's supposedly too cold for them to play outside in the snow and not Jaws?_

_I looked up. Maybe I could try and… No, I can't climb the wall. I'm not even six! I've only been here for a few months!_

_A venus flytrap showed up right next to me from the wall. It opened enough for me to see his yellow eyes slightly glowing from within. I took a few hurried steps away and I didn't notice I was right next to the 'ocean' wall I couldn't even see above. Kola pulled me in, but we surfaced a little bit._

"_Children. You haven't touched the cookies I just made?" Kolima had just arrived at the floor._

_My hand stuck out from the flood of stuffed animals. "Help… me…"_

_"That's so cute; all of you playing together. It's so great to see Haiku joining in the fun." Kolima giggled as she exited the floor._

* * *

Knock, knock

Itachi opened up the door.

"Sorry for coming so late. **We understand you have a mission tomorrow.** But we wanted to let you know about a tradition in our clan **you may be interested in.**"

"What is it?"

"**Can you walk with us to the library?**"

"Sure."

The two men headed down the silent corridors. "We understand you want to win Haiku's affection."

"True."

"**Not only that, but you wish to be her boyfriend **since you have indeed won those affections 'required.' **But she refuses to date you and uses the excuse of 'your safety first.'**"

Itachi nodded.

"We haven't been able to do this tradition before… **But you may want to give it a try.** The task is hard in this season. **Unless you look in the right spot.**"

"What is it?"

"You tell him. **No, why don't you do the honors? **If you insist. It's the Art of Flower Giving.** We know it seems like not very much at all, **but someone such as you **trying to win over someone like her,** you might want to give it a shot."

"Flower Giving?" Itachi repeated in disbelief.

"**That is correct.** It is _the_ most romantic way for a woman of our clan **to be asked to… hm… how to put it…** uh… date. That'll work just fine. **But isn't it usually used for?** Yes, but he's not that far in this relationship. **I keep forgetting.** I know you do. That's why it's so important for me to be the one to remember such things. **You're not the one who does all the remembering around here.** I know."

"What do you mean by not being as far for some other purpose?"

Zetsu thought long and hard about what to say to the Uchiha man. "**It's not for getting her to have sex with you if that's what your thinking.** Why be so straightforward in our guess of what's going in his mind? **It's the quickest and easiest way to put it. **Good point."

"I wasn't thinking that at all."

"_**Really**_**?** It's the most romantic way for a man of our clan to propose to the Terra woman of his 'dreams' as some put it. **You do know we didn't need to tell him that?** You started it by being straightforward, so it was my turn."

"Propose? If she doesn't want to date me then why would she accept to marrying me?"

Zetsu chuckled, "**You have no clue how much she cares about you.** Even if she threatens to shove various **objects up your ass.**"

"I've heard so much about her caring a lot about me, but where's the proof? The second half is so true it is no longer considered funny."

"We don't need proof. **We have our ways of finding out.**"

"Why tell me about this Flower Giving tradition?"

"We know **you'll make her happy. **The two of you are perfect for each other. **We just know it.**"

"Hn…" Itachi was becoming entrapped within his own thoughts.

"Sorry for bothering you so late**, but we need to head back to our room about now.** Kola might have eaten the whole bag **in our absence.**"

"Wait, how do I find a flower to give her in the middle of winter?"

Zetsu was completely merged into the ground. "Ask Kola. **She'd know where the perfect flower for her is.**"

"Thank you."

"Just promise us one thing."

"What?"

"**Make sure she's happy. Don't break her heart. **She's been through too many tragedies as it is."

"I will do my utmost best."

"**Just don't forget to tell her you love her.**"

* * *

Sonya was pleased with herself. She had found the room Haiku resides in without first getting lost and getting upset with herself. It was a good thing she remembered how to get back to Deidara's room.

For starters, the room was the same exact layout as Deidara's room and all the ones she had managed to open up with her little Siamese paws. It looked like she was here less and less like a prisoner and more like a member of this 'Akatsuki.'

Ok, who did she share this room with? It wasn't like people chose to sleep on a couch over a comfy bed for no reason. After investigating, Sonya concluded it had to be Itachi's room because no one else used a katana as far as she knew. The pillow had his scent so it had to be his room.

Sonya approached Haiku's sleeping form. Itachi entered the room and headed straight to bed, not caring Sonya was in the room. When she was right next to the couch, Sonya hissed in fright when Haiku fell off the couch just about right on top of her. Itachi stopped a mere foot away from bed and changed directions. He lifted Haiku back onto the couch and let Sonya out of the room. Sonya meowed in thanks.

* * *

"Zetsu!"

"**Yes Kola? **Did you eat all the marshmallows and require me to get more?"

Kola took a deep breath, "Not this time."

"Then what is it?"

"My book showed you telling Stalker the great and almighty Art of Flower Giving."

"**I did tell him.**"

"But why?"

"I was tired of seeing him constantly fail at wining Haiku. **It was like watching a fish trying to get out of a bucket in the middle of a river. **His attempts were useless. **So now he might **_**actually**_** have a chance at winning her heart.**"

"_Oh_… OK!"

Zetsu took his spot on his bed, facing Kola. "**Shall we** begin?"

Kola plucked a marshmallow from the bag and threw it at him, which he easily caught. "You first."

* * *

Itachi closed his eyes and let out a sigh. The hot water in the porcelain tub relaxing his tense muscles. Why didn't he do this more often?

Knock, knock

His sharingun activated on it's own. His narrowed, red gaze landed on the door of the hotel room they were staying in.

"Itachi-san, did you fall asleep?" Kisame's voice was as clear as a bell.

"No Kisame." Itachi replied. Once again closing his eyes.

"I'm sorry to bug you, but it's about Haiku."

Itachi got out of the comfort of the bath and wrapped himself in a towel. He swung the door open. "What is it?"

Kisame showed him a note left on a sticky note.

* * *

**Our paths will cross again one day…**

**But until then…**

**Bye bye. ^/_\^**

**~Haiku**

* * *

Itachi frowned. "Do you know where she is?"

"I just came back and happened to find this note."

"I'm going to look for her."

"You shouldn't like that."

Itachi paused, "I'm getting dressed." He turned around and shut the door. Kisame barely noticed the pool of water that formed while he stared at the note. He obviously didn't wring out his hair…

Itachi came back out of the bathroom, completely clothed; hair no longer dripping wet, just damp. He slipped on his shoes and in a hurry, exited the room.

He ran all over the nearby town, but still no sign of his beloved Writing. No, he wasn't going to give up. His eye caught sight of something and so he stopped, right in front of the town's Dango Shop.

"Thank you for such excellent service." Haiku walked out of the shop and bumped into him since she was walking backwards and just not paying attention to where she was going. "Sorry about that Itachi."

"How'd you know it was me?"

"Your faint chakra signature."

"What did you mean by leaving that note?!"

"To let you know I was gone. If I didn't, you'd freak out."

"Are you planning on leaving us?!"

"Dango?"

"Stop trying to change the subject."

"Oh so you can do that, but I can't? What a hypocrite."

"Answer the question Haiku."

"Not at all."

"Then why did you write that?" Itachi showed her the sticky note.

"I wanted to see what you'd do. After all, our paths have indeed crossed again."

"And the face?"

"I just wanted to add your lines."

"…"

"Dango?"

"What was the purpose of the note if you weren't going to leave us?"

"But I did leave. Just not the organization. I already told you, if I didn't leave a note telling that I left, then you'd freak out."

"Why not tell me?"

"You were in the tub and I didn't want to bug you."

"Why did you leave in the first place?"

"Dango?"

"Stop trying to go off topic."

"That's why I left. To get dangos for us all." Haiku performed a shadow clone jutsu and one took one of the three white boxes. That one ran off in the direction of the hotel. "You want to walk?"

Itachi sighed. "Why not?"

"Did you like your bath?"

"It was relaxing, but I would have wanted to stay in longer."

"What was stopping you?"

"You."

"Now that isn't true. Kisame's the one who got you to leave the hot, steaming bath."

"Where are we headed?"

"I heard from the locals about a cool little spot. I wanted to check it out."

"Where would that be?"

"Right here." They arrived at a waterfall. It wasn't extraordinary or anything, but it was a nice sight. Haiku focused chakra to her feet and walked up the trunk of a tree near the waterfall. She sat down on one of the branches. "You coming up?"

"Hn." Itachi appeared next to her.

"Dango?" Haiku presented him with one of the white boxes. She opened up one herself and dug into one of the sticky dangos she had ordered.

"The ones near the base are better."

"Yeah, but they're still good."

It wasn't long before the two finished the dangos off. Haiku took the boxes and dealt with them. Somehow, she reverted the boxes into the natural form, perfectly fine to be in this kind of environment.

"What? I'm not littering."

"That's new."

"I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Hn?"

Haiku gulped. "Well you see… I didn't want to bring it up around Kisame, but I really wanted to tell you how I felt."

Itachi could feel his heart beating loudly in his chest.

She continued on, "I know it may not seem like it, but I love you. I really do. I want to be yours and you to be mine."

"Who are you and what did you do to my Haiku?"

"Itachi-kun, I'm not lying. I wanted to protect you from my inner stages, but now I have realized, you don't need to be protected. I want to be with you."

"What about Kakashi?"

"Kakashi?" Itachi noticed her twitch. "He's a pervert. Of course I wouldn't want to date him! You're the only one for me. The only one I could **ever** love."

"Why didn't you tell me until now?"

"I… I was too scared to tell you how I really felt."

"You're not lying…"

"The only ones I would need to save you from is my parents when we find them."

"You mean you still haven't found them? Who was the owner of that falcon?"

"It was one of Kola's little games…" Haiku seemed very distant.

"I love you too." He lifted her face up to his. "Don't worry, together, we will find them."

Her hands went to either side of his face. With her thumbs, she traced the lines on his face. "You look handsome, even with these stress lines." Haiku smiled. She was about to pull him into a kiss…

* * *

**Author's Note: What do you think? *Evil grin* I already know what's going to happen next, but what's your opinion? Reviews are greatly appreciated. ^/_\^**

**Yes, i know, i'm not scheduled to update right now. In fact not until sunday or monday, but you see... I have been motivated to update early.**

**I haven't realized Madara had been getting increasingly violent. I've actually been so intent on writing, it avoided my attention. Heh. _Yeah..._  
**


	10. Chapter 10: Sweet Dreams Huh?

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

**Haiku & Kola 2: Relationship Problems**

**Chapter 10: Sweet Dreams Huh?

* * *

**

Itachi was shaking. What the hell?!

"Kola, what _are_ you doing to him?"

"He wouldn't wake up. Don't you have a mission together today?"

"What did you say when I was brushing my teeth?"

"I whispered in his ear, if you wake up, Haiku will give you _a kiss_."

"What did you do?"

"What?! He sat up, but he was _still_ sound asleep."

"You do know I would have woken him up."

"But he looked like he was enjoying that dream _too_ much!"

"Kola, don't you have anything better to do?"

"No. We ran out of marshmallows." Kola briefly looked depressed.

"Kola, I'm awake. It doesn't mean you can keep trying to get me to wake up." Itachi glared at the brown haired woman.

"Kola, why are you still shaking him?"

"Cause I can."

"Kola, we need to finish getting ready. Why don't you… tell Zetsu I said 'good morning.'"

Kola let go of Itachi's shirt. "_Oh_… I see now. Munchy wants to spend some _alone_ time with Stalker."

"_Kola_."

"Impatient are we?"

"**Now**."

"Are you going to make the baby before your mission? I don't think you'll have enough time for that munch much."

"Itachi, get ready. I'm going to make you and Kisame some breakfast. I've already eaten a bit earlier."

"Ok." Itachi sounded distant. He just couldn't believe it was all a dream. It seemed so realistic too… And it all started with him taking a bath.

The door shut. Itachi snapped out of his thoughts. Both women had already left.

Why couldn't all that all really happen?!

* * *

"Kisame, who are we looking for in the Mist Village area?" I asked.

"He's one of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist, just like me."

"What's he like?"

"His name is Zabuza Momochi."

"Hn, why are we trying to find him for?"

"He has some useful information for the Akatsuki. So it's our job to find him. Plus I haven't seen him in quite some time now."

"I see. Itachi, have you met this Zabuza person before?"

"No."

"Why do you seem so quite lately?"

"…"

"Is it because of Kola waking you up?"

"No."

"Then what is it?!"

"…Just a dream…"

"What kind of dream?"

"It's nothing."

"You know Itachi, I'm finding that hard to believe."

Itachi thought to himself, 'How does she really feel about me?'

Kisame pulled out a picture to show us. "This is Zabuza and he trained this young lad, Haku."

"Ambu mask huh." Very clever.

* * *

Kabuto turned on the light in dark bedroom. He found an old, warn out book on the desk. Being the first time he had ever seen it, he picked it up and looked at the marked off page. On it was the type of style formatting you'd expect to be in a cookbook. What the hell was all this crap? And why hadn't he ever heard of any of this before?

"What are you doing in my room?" Nikku had teleported to the room, completely surprising Kabuto.

"Curious."

"And that's why you're reading my notes?"

"What is all this?"

"My invention. For it to work; we need the purest of plants to use or else it won't work right."

"Why haven't I heard of this before?"

"In the Terra's sacred land, all the plants of the world can be found in the vast territory in the purest form. The fields and orchards produce enough food every single day, even in winter to provide the whole world with food tenfold, _at least_."

"It must be a shame to no longer be able to gain access in isn't it?"

Nikku narrowed his eyes. "You have no idea what the Terra Clan is capable of. If it weren't for Orochimaru, you'd be as good as dead messing around with my prized possessions."

"You wouldn't dare to kill me. You see, you need us just as much as we need you. But then again, we could in fact go on without your assistance."

"Yes, but it would be a major inconvenience to you as it would I."

"We'll stop here for the night." Itachi jumped down from the branches of the tree into a very small clearing.

"Already?" I asked.

Kisame pointed to the sun that had set just a little bit ago.

"Ok then." I joined Itachi at the clearing.

Kisame darted off to get firewood. Itachi stayed in the snow filled clearing. He took a big pot out of a scroll. He filled it with clean snow so it could be melted. That was a quicker way to get water than to go looking for it.

I used a jutsu to clear out the snow and turn the ground dry. When we were to leave, I'd put it all back just how I had found it. No worries there.

Now that I thought about it, I was in charge of food… So that's what I forgot about this morning… Uh… at least I brought snacks.

I sat on the forest floor. What should we have for dinner?

Itachi sat next to me after melting the snow in the pot with a small fire jutsu. "What are you cooking?"

"Dunno. You have something in mind?"

"What did you bring?"

"Uh…" I scratched the back of my neck. "About that…"

"You forgot?"

I nodded my head. "Unfortunately."

"Then what are we eating?"

"Choose and I'll make it."

"With what?"

"One, I can get all kinds of fruit and vegetables just from my knowledge in the clan, and second, I can always teleport back to the base to pick up anything else I might need."

Kisame dropped off the firewood and started making the fire. "Teleport?"

"Yeah, teleport."

"We could have teleported there?"

"Yes Kisame."

"Why didn't we?"

"Because neither of you expressed your desire to simply teleport to the destination or to ride one of my dragons there."

"We're almost there anyway." Itachi used a fire jutsu to ignite the wood Kisame was going to use to start the fire.

"What are you two in the mood for?"

"Make a good soup." Kisame suggested.

"Ok." I performed jutsu after jutsu to get all sorts of ingredients. I created potato plants, carrot plants, onions and whatever it was I felt like putting in there. Itachi helped me out by gathering the vegetables from the plants I created.

"How good are these? Do they taste just like the usual vegetables taste like? Or are they going to attack?" Kisame investigated the carrot.

"No. These are simply food providing plants that we use in the clan's fields and orchards. They taste better than the ones you usually find outside of the clan's land. But these ones may not taste as good as those ones you can find on our land." After the ingredients were cleaned up, I used a chakra dissection blade to chop them up and add them to the pot of water.

* * *

"Haku, be on the look out for a man named Kisame Hoshigaki." Zabuza randomly said while cleaning his Decapitating Carving Knife.

"Kisame. Isn't that one of the other Seven Swordsmen of the Mist?" Haku asked.

"Yes. He was one of my old buddies."

"Is he coming to find us?"

"Indeed."

"Does he want to get in the way of your dream?"

"No. I have some important information for him. Last time I heard, he's coming up here with his partner to meet up with us."

"Which one is he?"

"Kisame is the owner of Sharkskin."

"The tall blue man with black gills?"

"Correct."

"If I run into him, then what do you want me to do?"

"Bring him and his partner here."

"Do you know what his partner looks like?"

"His name is Itachi Uchiha." Zabuza pulled out a bingo book. Flipping around, he found a picture and showed it to the younger shinobi.

"Ok."

"Itachi's a missing nin from the leaf." Zabuza tucked the book away.

"I'll be sure to keep an eye out for them."

"I almost forgot. They have a new recruit coming with them. They didn't tell me anything about him."

"New recruit of what?"

"Kisame is apart of some group of S-Ranked Criminals called the Akatsuki. Kisame and Itachi are only two of them."

"Oh."

The white bunny hopped over to Haku. Haku picked it up and held it.

* * *

"How are we going to find them?" Haiku asked since they just arrived at the area of the Mist Village Zabuza supposedly resided somewhere in.

"You can stay here and see how well the bridge the people around here are building while Itachi and I can go see if we can find anything out at a brothel." Kisame chuckled.

Itachi felt a death glare burning the back of his head.

"Well I doubt you'd be interested in coming with us."

"We can find out where Zabuza is without going to such a place." Haiku crossed her arms. "Kola and I can always figure out where the target is without doing anything degrading or otherwise immoral." Haiku disappeared just like that.

"Where are you going Itachi?"

"Tea House."

"I'm coming."

There was a long silence between them…

"Is she mad at me?" Kisame blurted out the question bugging him for a good ten minutes of pure silence.

"She could care less if you went there, but if she found out I went with you… She'd never forgive me that easily."

"Are you two dating or something?"

"Or something." Itachi paused to see Kisame's reaction. "I want to date her, but she keeps refusing."

"Should we go to the brothel?"

"No."

"Have you two--"

"No."

"Then why's she so against my idea?"

"She just is. No questions asked." Itachi took a sip of tea. "Even I have a hard time understanding her."

"I bet anyone wanting to date her would."

* * *

I felt a tug on my shirt. I looked down.

A little girl had her hands cupped; hoping I'd give her something.

My angered expression I had on my face ever since I left Itachi and Kisame faded and turned into a small smile. "Do you have any parents?"

"Uh huh. Can I please have something? We're all hungry around here."

"I promise I'll be right back."

The girl looked like she doubted my word.

I pulled out some money and handed it to her. "Take this now, and I'll be back in a few minutes to give you and your family something to eat."

The girl nodded her head. There were more kids starting to crowd around me when I teleported to the Terra Clan's land.

I was right in front of the opening of the clan's land, just a few steps in. I went to Kola and my house to pick up the biggest basket I could find. It was one of them I made last winter when Kola and I had basket weaving competitions to see who could make certain kinds of baskets.

The families must be heavily taxed or something for them all to be so hungry during the winter. But then again, the winter was always the hardest for a lot of families to get by. Thinking harder, I took an empty scroll and shoved a bunch of baskets Kola and I had made into it.

"This would be the town's New Year's gifts." I reasoned.

From there, I teleported to a potato field. Performing some hand signs, the basket filled up with produce. I shoved the overfilling basket into the scroll and took another basket out. I teleported to various fields and orchards and did the same thing. We were lucky the Terra Elders had devised a good way for the plants to be producing food even in the coldness of the winter snows. By tomorrow, the plants I harvested from would be bearing more produce. The food wouldn't rot or anything like that. We just had more food here than Kola and I knew what to do with.

This was a good cause and that was that.

I teleported to the area in the deprived town. The little girl I had talked to earlier was delighted I kept my word unlike so many others.

I removed the baskets from the scroll and using chakra, I mixed the produce around until there was the same exact amount in each basket. I was almost knocked off balance by a crowd of children wishing to give me hugs and then each one thanked me.

I let each kid take a basket they had to resort to dragging because it was too big and heavy for most to carry. I smiled. Using shadow clones, each one picked up a basket and carried it for the child to their home.

* * *

Haku noticed the figure that gave away so much fresh food to those hungry children waiting in the streets. The cloak immediately reminded Haku of the clothing Kisame and Itachi would be wearing.

* * *

"That was nice of you."

I looked over to see a teenage girl. "Oh. Did you want some food too?"

"No." The teenage girl quickly replied.

"Ok." I continued on the same path I was on before running into all those children.

"I haven't seen you around here before." The girl was walking alongside me.

"I'm not from around here."

"That explains it."

"Do you live around here?"

"Yes."

"What's your name?"

"Hak… er… Haiku."

"Yeah?"

"That's my name. Haiku. Yeah, that's it."

"You sure?" I could tell she was lying.

"Yeah. I started to say a relative's name who's sick and in the hospital. He's been on my mind a lot lately."

The hidden sharingun allowed me to see it was just another lie. Oh well. I'll just play along. "That's too bad."

"What's your name?"

"Haiku."

"Oh…"

"You think you can help me find someone?"

"Sure. Who is it?"

"Zabuza Momochi."

"…"

"I don't mind if you don't trust me. After all, you can't even see my face with this stupid cloak. I don't care much for the hat, but the bell gives off a nice sound."

"What do you really look like?" 'Haiku' quietly asked.

I unbuttoned the top of my cloak and lifted my hat off.

'Itachi?' Haku thought.

I buttoned my cloak and put the hat back on. "My friends and I are looking for him."

"How many _friends_?"

"Two others."

"What's the names?"

"What's your real name?"

"Haiku _is_ my name."

"_Really_?"

"Yes it is."

I drew her attention to my eyes. I showed her the sharingun for a brief amount of time. "This is how I can know you're lying again." I looked serious.

Haku gulped.

"So what's your name?" I asked with a pleasant smile.

"Haku."

"Ah."

"Is your name really Haiku?"

"Yes it is."

"Your full name?"

"Haiku Uchiha and you are Zabuza's little masked friend."

"What do you want him for?"

"Kisame and Itachi are here with me to look for him."

Haku let out a deep breath. "You should have just told me who your friends were."

"Yes, but I didn't know you were Haku."

"Where are they?"

"We split up. Can you bring us to him?"

"If you are who you say you are."

"I'm guessing you knew the other two, but not me?"

"Yes, but why aren't you a man?"

"Man? Uh… I've never been a male… Am I supposed to be?"

"Zabuza said a man he didn't know anything about was a new recruit and was coming with Kisame Hoshigaki and Itachi Uchiha."

"In the picture, you're a guy."

"I am a guy."

"You don't look like a guy. You look like a young woman."

"But I'm not."

"You look like a woman. You sound like a woman. You talk like a woman. So you're a woman."

"Are you related to Itachi?"

"Same clan. That's about it."

* * *

"What's Haiku up to now? Trying to figure out a way to punish us for my suggestion of going to a brothel?"

"Don't know." Itachi's attention was caught by seeing children with incredibly fresh carrots. "Maybe she had something to do with that."

The pure red crane came out of his hair. "Found someone to help us, unless you're both too busy eating dangos and drinking tea without me to come."

"Who is it?"

"Haku."

"All be darn." Kisame was completely surprised Haiku managed to find Zabuza's right hand man.

"Show us the way." Itachi got up.

The waiter came up to them. "Your bill?"

Kisame took the white paper. "That much for so little?"

"Sorry, but as you can tell, the prices on everything have sharply increased and most families are going hungry. The price was clearly on the menu though."

Itachi took out the money and handed it to the female waiter.

"Thank you." The waiter disappeared.

"You coming?" The crane asked again in Haiku's voice.

"Yes." Itachi and Kisame followed the flying crane.

* * *

"About time you two showed up!" I exclaimed. The crane hid back in Itachi's low ponytail.

"These are the two?"

"Yes Haku. Show yourselves to prove who you are."

"Why?" Itachi asked.

"Haku wants to make sure we are who we say we are." I quickly explained.

Itachi and Kisame showed their faces before hiding them again.

"Very well. Come with me." Haku showed the path there.

* * *

Kisame took of his hat and set it down on a tabletop.

"Kisame, it's been a long time."

"A bit too long Zabuza."

"Go ahead and relax."

Itachi and I took of our hats too. The three of us took seats and so did Haku and Zabuza.

"This is Itachi and that is our new recruit Haiku." Kisame introduced us.

"Zabuza, why do they look so much alike?" Haku asked.

"Same clan." Itachi replied.

"Sorry, but you two look kind of like twins." Haku apologized.

"We aren't. His father was the leader of the Uchiha clan, but my father was the founder of the clan. I'm just a month and five days before his birthday." Haiku smiled.

Itachi rolled his eyes.

"That's the biggest sword I've ever seen." Haiku pointed out.

Itachi was suddenly filled with dread.

"Thanks. That's my Decapitating Carving Knife." Zabuza chuckled.

"You wouldn't dare." Itachi muttered under his breath.

An evil grin showed up on Haiku's face. It made Itachi feel like she was going to plan another initiation for no reason other than just feeling like it. "Nah. You'd scream too much."

"Kisame, what are they talking about?" Zabuza asked his long time friend.

"I believe they're talking about what Haiku's mother started called the Uchiha Manhood Test."

"The what?"

"I'm just glad I'm not an Uchiha."

"Why? Is the test bad?"

"Is something about shoving random, sharp, but large objects up an Uchiha Man's ass. If he screams then you have to take it over until you no longer scream. It makes me feel really bad for Itachi…"

"But Zabuza, she's really nice. She gave away numerous baskets full to the children begging for food." Haku stated in Haiku's defense.

Itachi and Haiku where having their own conversation.

"You should be happy I'm not like my parents who torture each other a whole lot more than I do."

Itachi had a deep frown on his pale face. "But you still like shoving a machete up my ass."

"That's only every now and then. Besides, it's not like I use huge items like Zabuza's sword!"

"Yes, but torture is still torture."

"At least I show my affection!"

"That isn't how you show affection."

"Yes it is."

"No it's not."

"It's still better than what you do."

"What do I do?"

"ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!"

* * *

**Author's Note: Sounds like someone's on their period. Too bad that was all just a dream wouldn't you all agree? … Don't tell me you're all about ready to sharpen your pitchforks and get the torches ready because of me making that all be a dream. Don't kill me!**


	11. Chapter 11: Code Royal Purple: Find Muki

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

**Haiku & Kola 2:Relationship Problems**

**Chapter 11: Code Royal Purple: Find Muki**

**

* * *

**

"It was great seeing you again Zabuza."

"It was a pleasure seeing your face again Kisame."

"It was nice meeting both of you." I said my farewells.

"The same for you too." Haku was holding the snow-white bunny.

"Don't get into too much trouble." Itachi advised.

We left the building Haku and Zabuza had been staying in and quickly made our way to the edge of town.

"Itachi."

"Yes Haiku?"

"I just wanted to apologize for being so irritable yesterday…"

"It's fine. Everyone has their bad days."

"Yeah. I guess it's almost that time again…"

Itachi was spacing out. "Time for what?"

"Girl stuff. You wouldn't understand." I slipped on a spot of ice. Itachi caught me.

"You ok?"

"Thanks. I'm fine." I regained my balance. "How do we want to go back? The same way we came here, teleport or dragon?"

"Dragon?" Kisame couldn't help asking even though he'd rather stay out of Haiku and Itachi's conversations. It was hard not to smile every time he saw the two together. "But isn't Flame a bit noticeable?"

"I got more than one dragon you know."

"How many?" Itachi asked.

"A family of four. It's not like I'd want to be able to summon more because I don't summon them that often as it is. Most of the time it's just because I'd rather have a nice ride to the destination because I don't feel like walking there or teleporting."

"Four? What's Flame? Is he the head of the family?"

I couldn't stop erupting with laughter. "He's the baby of the family."

"You better not summon Flame."

"Why not Mammal? Is it because he wanted to test your riding abilities just like everyone else riding when I was asleep?"

"No." Itachi crossed his arms. And he wasn't going to tell her why he didn't like Flame very much.

"Haiku, I noticed he was a bit jealous of Flame being so close to you." Kisame pointed out.

"When did you notice that?"

"When we were around the campfire and you threw one of those metal fans at Kola's back."

"I remember that." I paused. "Itachi are you jealous of Flame who's only nineteen years old?"

"So what if I am?" Itachi glared at Kisame.

"What about… Frost?"

"Who?" Kisame asked.

"She's a really nice dragon." Why not save a little bit of chakra?

Fire Style: Fire Rose Jutsu

"Hn. Rose Summoning: Ice Dragon."

The fire rose opened up to reveal a pure white dragon. The beautiful, slender dragon had light blue eyes.

"Is it just me, or is this one longer than Flame?" Kisame questioned.

"But of course she is. My dragons keep growing throughout their lifetime. The older they are, the longer they are."

"Well said Haiku." Frost got a good look at the two men with Haiku. "So, who are these two?"

"I'm Kisame Hoshigaki." Kisame said.

"Itachi Uchiha."

"So this is the weasel I've heard about from Flame." Frost let a little laugh out. "Is it true he passed initiation?"

"On multiple occasions." I replied.

"Oh… Does that mean you two are dating?" Frost had a sly little grin on her face.

"I wish." Itachi said under his breath.

"No." I said.

Frost smiled. "I see."

"Can you give us a lift?" I asked.

"Sure. Just tell me where to go and I'll go there."

We all got into the spots we wanted to be in. I sat in front just because I was used to sitting there. Itachi used this opportunity to wrap his arms firmly around me. Kisame sat about two feet behind Itachi.

"How are you related to Flame? Are you his sister?" Kisame asked.

Frost giggled. "You make me feel so young… I'm actually his mother."

"How's the family been lately?"

"It's been just fine. Diamond is once again using Flame as a heater, but that's not new. The den has been snowed in. The whole opening has been blocked off by ninety feet of frozen over snow, but we have plenty of food and there is an opening of ten feet so we are still getting fresh air."

"And Magma?"

"Keeping order in the den. He's perfectly healthy and content with life."

"That's good."

"We found out more about your parents."

"I found them."

"Really? That's great! We found out who he was disguised as."

"You found them? Good job. When was it?" Itachi asked.

"The day the falcon came in the kitchen. Mother set it out to stretch its wings as she claimed."

"Where were they? Who was he disguised as?"

"They were in the base all along. Apart of the Akatsuki even."

"Tobi?"

"Why would you guess Tobi?"

"He glares at me."

"For what?"

"Like during the Leaf Ball. Or just any time I show you any little bit of affection when he's around."

"Let me get this straight… The Akatsuki's idiot is your father?" Kisame was stunned.

"Yes Kisame."

"How smart was your mother?!"

"Do you know who my parents even are?" I asked.

"Tobi."

"No. Tobi is who he disguised himself as."

"Then who are your parents?"

"Madara Uchiha, founder of the Uchiha Clan, and Muki Sotaki, most intelligent Sotaki general who could outsmart everyone her clan went up against."

"And they're in the Akatsuki?"

"More or less."

"Haiku?"

"Yes Frost?"

"What name do you go by? Haiku Uchiha or Haiku Terra?"

"You do know it would be just Haiku since they don't say the last name of earth. I go by any one of them. If I have to say my last name, then it's Uchiha."

"You don't say…"

"Why do you ask?"

"I just wanted to know if it would be a big change for you when saying your last name when you get married."

"Marriage?!"

"Yes. You're obviously going to one day be getting married to this fine gentleman, Itachi."

"He's not a gentleman; he's a stalker."

"Stalker?"

"Do you know how hard it is to lose him?"

"I've never had a stalker so I wouldn't know."

"We aren't even dating and now you're saying one day we'll get married?"

"Of course. You two are clearly meant for one another. As some would say, soul mates."

"You're almost as bad as Kola."

"What would she say?"

"We aren't dating, but she claims I've had sex with Itachi. When we are dating, she'd most likely say we are engaged."

"Did you lose your virginity?"

"No."

"It's all clearly rumors that hold no truth whatsoever. Just remember, she can't start any more rumors after you're married to Itachi."

"Knowing her, she'd say we made the baby and now we were keeping an eye out on the plant and waiting for it to be born."

"If you really where pregnant?"

"I have no clue. But for some reason, I have that feeling she'd just say I've been adding on the pounds and now I'm just **fat**."

"You must admit she's creative."

* * *

Madara was still sitting on the couch. Ever since he had left for that brief amount of time to castrate Itachi, Muki hadn't talked to him. It was only a few more minutes until his weeklong couch punishment was over. Then he'd be happy again because he would be talked to and no longer ignored by Muki in another twenty-four hours. That was his estimate anyway.

Three…

Two…

One…

Free at last! Madara got up and stretched his sore muscles. He noticed the note she left on the desk right away. A royal purple sticky note.

* * *

**I've run to elope with the other **

**incompetent ass. He might actually**

**pleasure me. Glad you're not here.**

**~ Muki Sotaki**

* * *

Madara could feel his anger rising. That other man again… When he got his hands on him, Madara would rip him limb from limb! He'd do even more, but he'd make sure that 'other incompetent ass' would pay!

Haiku came in. "Hi Dad, where's Mom?"

Madara was so furious; he ripped up the sticky notes until each piece was smaller than a finger nail clipping. "She ran to elope." Madara growled.

Haiku crossed her arms. "How do you know?"

"She left a note."

"Can I see it?"

Madara caught the scraps in his hand on fire and dropped the charcoaled remains into the small trash bin.

Haiku sighed. She went to the trash and removed each and every charcoaled piece. Using a simple jutsu, she converted the pieces into how it was before her father caught it on fire. With the aid of her sharingan, she put all the pieces back together and used chakra to fuse them back together. She got up from her kneeling position and read over the note.

* * *

**I've run to elope with the other **

**incompetent ass. He might actually**

**pleasure me. Glad you're not here.**

**~ Muki Sotaki**

* * *

Haiku did something her father's rage prevented him from doing: Checking the other side. Of course, that was Muki. Taking a few steps ahead of Madara. Always thinking ahead.

* * *

**Haiku:**

**Knowing your father as well as I do, **

**he most likely ripped up the note**

**without looking on the other side. **

**If you're wondering where I am, **

**look in the Mist Village.**

**~ Muki Sotaki**

* * *

Haiku tucked the sticky note away. Without saying anything, she left the room. Haiku opened the door once again and asked, "Aren't you going to go get her?"

Madara growled, "Do you know who this _other_ incompetent ass is?"

"Incompetent ass that isn't you?"

Madara clenched a fist.

"Never heard of anyone but you with that name." Except I did call Itachi an ass… Nah, she wouldn't call him that.

"Where are you going?"

"To go get her if your not man enough to do so yourself." Haiku gently closed the door.

* * *

Muki sat in the hot springs. At the moment, she was the only one here. Since it wasn't like anyone would notice her, Muki decided to not be invisible. Even if they did, what could they possibly do to her?

One of the multiple water lilies floated past her. Her eyes narrowed into a glare that followed it as it drifted past her. It was unresponsive as it continued its route on the water current.

-

I teleported into the Mist Village. Knowing Mom from my early childhood memories, when we traveled together on short trips, she always demanded to go to a hot spring. I guess they helped her relax or that was just what she did to enjoy herself.

The people in the streets stopped what they were doing to get a good look at me. I don't see what their problem is. It's not like I was wearing the Akatsuki trademark cloak or hat. Maybe it was my headband, an unslashed leaf headband. Seeing I was just minding my own business, they continued on with their own lives.

* * *

I walked into the hot tub area, surrounded by a tall, wooden fence. There were no spaces between the boards, so thus guaranteeing people like Jiraya couldn't be Peeping Toms. There only happened to be one person in the water, her apparently messy, black curls pinned on top of her hair by a large clip in a huge mound, a few locks being rebels and touching the water. Only the back of her neck was visible other than her hair. With a swift movement, her hand rose into the air and smacked back down on a water lily, minding it's own business.

"Gone to elope huh?"

Her head spun towards me, her big brown eyes meeting my own dark black ones. "Where's the ass?"

"Furious and as far as I know, still at the base."

"Pft, incompetence. He won't even come to get me in his own village!"

"You're coming back with me."

"No."

"Why come here exactly?"

"I needed a vacation."

"By yourself?"

"I'll just see how long it takes for him to come here to get me."

I pulled out the sticky note from my pocket. "I had to put it back together. Of course, he didn't notice the other side."

Muki smirked.

"I'm joining you." I headed back into the changing room.

* * *

"Kola."

Kola looked up until she could see Itachi in the doorway. She batted her eyelashes a few times, "Yes Stalker?"

Itachi was about to open his mouth when Kola interrupted him, "You wanted something for Haiku?"

"Yes. I wanted to give her a flower, but I was informed you are the only one who would know of one in the wintertime that she would like."

"Oh yes." Kola looked back to _The Book_ she was looking at when he walked in. She got up and took a paper off Zetsu's desk and drew an amazingly accurate map. From there, she drew a dotted line that did all kinds of loops and weavings, it seemed like someone handed a little kid a pen to draw on top of a map because there was no other paper available.

Itachi could only twitch, but also question for how much longer she was going to draw on the path he was to take.

"ALL DONE!"

Itachi took the map and blankly stared at it. "Why don't you just cut though here and go straight to the X?" Itachi used his finger to show her the more reasonable path.

"No, because it's a labyrinth. An outdoor, foresty labyrinth and going straight through would get you killed. Haiku wouldn't like that."

Itachi took a deep breath. "So where is this?"

She accessed a map out of the heavy looking book, "Right there is the spot you start at."

Zetsu merged into the room. "I'll bring him to that spot." Zetsu offered after seeing the mess on the map she had drawn.

Itachi could only nod and hope Kola knew what the hell she was talking about.

* * *

"**Kola, is there even a flower in the spot you sent Itachi to?** You don't want to send him on a suicide mission."

"Uh…"

"**You don't know?**"

Kola flipped the pages around a little bit. "Ah ha! There IS a flower!"

"That little, pink, thumb sized flower?"

"It's something."

"**You do remember Haiku dislikes pink **just like Muki. Right?"

"I was going to send him after the real one after this attempt."

"Why send him after two?"

"To see if he was that devoted to getting _my_ sister's affection."

"**Just remember, **she isn't just _**your**_** sister.**"

"You're right, she was my pet too!"

"That's not what I'm talking about. **She's her own person, she can choose for herself.** She doesn't need you to make all of her decisions for her. **She should be able to do what she wants without you influencing her to do **as _you_ want."

"Oh I know, but it's more fun the other way."

"Just keep it in mind. **What will you do if he asks her to marry him?**"

"That will be in a _very_ long time. They aren't even dating yet! Besides, I'll be _so_ happy when they do. I want to be the maid of honor. I don't think I was ever made of honor, I thought it was of a tree…"

Zetsu could only rub his forehead. If only she really knew how humans were really born… He wasn't going to be the one to tell her either. Knowing Kola as well as he did, it would somehow manage to backfire upon himself… No, that wouldn't be good.

* * *

"So Mom, who was that 'other incompetent ass' you spoke of in the sticky note?" I was now nice and relaxed.

Muki smirked, "Do you not know?"

"I'm almost thinking it's Itachi you're referring to, but it couldn't be. Nah, he wouldn't be _your_ incompetent ass, maybe mine though…" I was saying my thoughts out loud.

"I never said who's incompetent ass it was." Muki mischievously grinned.

"Hn. Tricky tricky. That must have been driving Dad up a wall." I was splashed in the face by Muki slamming her hand on one of the water lilies floating by. "But wait a minute, Itachi isn't my incompetent ass."

Muki only raised an eyebrow.

"Fine. You got me. Sure I like him, but he can be such an asshole!"

"Continue."

"Like teaming up with Kisame to break twenty five bones in my body. Or how about dressing me up in a _pink_ _lace dress_ with a matching ribbon when I couldn't move?"

"Such incompetence cannot be measured my Little Princess."

"I don't know what it is with him. He claims he loves me, but why does he not show it? It's one of the most annoying things about him. He's an arrogant prick who thinks he can challenge me and then expect to win. Sure I'm not that good, but if he can't beat me the first and second time with me still holding back, then what makes him think when I'm perfectly healthy, chakra full, he would be able to accomplish it?"

"Just let him be the arrogant bastard he is."

"But tell me Mom, why is it that no matter how many things he does or says that annoys me or makes me upset or whatever, I still love him."

Splash

* * *

Itachi followed the map exactly how Kola had drawn, even if it was so crazy and wild, it was as if she was hyper from so much marshmallows and candy she couldn't keep the pen still. Judging by the map, he still had a long way to go.

Itachi looked up, eh, not that much farther to go till he got to the top of this mountain. Even if he did have to climb up the steep ledges. Chakra sure did come in handy and it made this obstacle so much easier than to do so the traditional way. He hauled himself up the last part and onto solid ground. He looked around and then looked at the map. He looked up. He felt his eyes grow wide in realization at the huge river gorge he needed to cross. It was a long way to the water; the trees on the other side too far to throw a kunai attached to a rope and unfortunately, no bridge. He tucked the map away, this might be a bit difficult to accomplish…

* * *

I was soaking wet. My hair I had put into a bun had completely soaked with water. I really didn't want that to happen. After being splashed like the thirtieth time, I used a blast of chakra to scoop up and throw the water lilies out of the hot spring.

Muki immediately glared at me.

"What?"

"Now what am I going to let my anger on?"

"What are you angry about?"

"The Ass for not coming."

I rolled my eyes. Using my chakra, I got the water lilies I had gotten rid of back into the water, perfectly healthy and back to the way they were before I interfered.

* * *

**Author's Note: So, what do you think? Please review; it makes me feel so motivated. ^/_\^**

**Oh yes, shame on me. I completely failed earlier on chapter 9. -_-**** I was planning on adding 2 lines to separate where the dream started that way it would be a little bit less confusing, but i forgot about it. I'm really sorry. It started when Itachi was relaxing in the bathtub and continued to the very end of the chapter.  
**


	12. Chapter 12: The Art of Flower Giving

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

**Haiku & Kola 2:**

**Relationship Problems**

**Chapter 12: The Art of Flower Giving

* * *

**

**blaze -Yeah that's the thing, not only does Haiku not like pink, but Muki also dislikes pink. I don't know, i never really liked pink anyway.**

**melioko -That's the thing, Madara is a possessive man, but chaising after Muki is something you have to be careful about. Honestly, she could be anywhere. EVEN IN THE WALLS! Muki is just messing around. She does that to him all the time. The sad truth is, Muki can leave Madara for good whenever she wants, but Madara has to stay with her. It's a good thing the two love each other. ^_^ **

**CuttlefishShiz - Getting the flower is just one half of the task.**

**0o Grimmjow Schiffer o0 - i'm glad to hear you liked it**

**hisoka-ai9 - when it comes to updates, i do my best to have at least the weekly update and if i miss one, i start to feel bad and so i have to do a double update to make up for it.**

**

* * *

**

Itachi was utterly exhausted. It had taken him what, three days to get to this spot where the flower was said to be. He watched the clouds float overhead, some starting to be captured by beautiful reds and oranges. Sunrise. There had been someone or something following him on his whole entire journey here. On his first night, by the firelight, he could hear some rustling in the foliage nearby. He had become so paranoid; he decided to continue on for the whole entire second night. Itachi's cloak was becoming increasingly colder by the minute. He had been so tired, he had just lay into the foot of snow, his back sinking in.

He jolted up; he didn't accidentally crush the flower he was looking for? A spot clear of all snow caught Itachi's eye. He carefully made his way over there to see one puny, scrawny, pink flower that was the size of his thumb. This is what he had came to get?!

* * *

It was the only flower in sight and after taking a nap, he plucked the flower, carefully putting it in his pocket and headed back.

He had started his descent from the flat mountaintop when he heard the crunch of snow from where he had been only moments ago. Itachi looked back to see a Grass Ninja looking straight at him. More began to emerge all around him. This wasn't good, but at least he knew who had been following him.

* * *

Madara paced back and forth in his room. From one end to the other and back again. He had been this way ever since Haiku had left to go get Muki. What was going on? Did someone manage to steal his cookies or was Muki trying to purposely get him paranoid? He couldn't stand this! Three days was plenty of enough time to get Muki and come back!

Knock, knock

Madara snatched his mask from the desk and put it firmly in place. "Come in." Madara growled.

Zetsu calmly entered and shut the door behind him. "You wanted **my assistance?**"

"Where is Haiku and Muki?"

"**Wouldn't you know where Muki is?** She's your wife and all."

Madara was glaring daggers at Zetsu.

"In that case, **Haiku is currently with Muki. **They are spending some quality Mother Daughter time together. **In your village.**"

Madara grabbed his cloak, immediately heading out of the door. He knew exactly where Muki would be in the Mist Village.

Zetsu lightly shook his head.

* * *

Muki expediently turned her head to the door.

Knock, knock

I obediently got up and answered the door.

"Ass! About time you got here."

"Where is he?!"

"Typical." I closed the door behind him, being sure to lock it up again. "That's Dad alright."

"Muki, where is he?!"

"Where is who?"

"The _**other incompetent ass**_." Madara growled.

Muki smirked. "What about him?"

"You said you where running to elope with him!"

"Nah. Didn't want to _this_ time."

* * *

"Wow Stalker, it sure did take you a lot shorter amount of time to come back with the flower than getting there." Kola didn't look up from the basket she was weaving in the living room.

Itachi seemed to be out of breath. "Is this the right one?" He weakly pulled out the puny pink flower.

Kola got up and carefully inspected it. "Stalker… I'm sorry, but… you got the wrong flower."

Itachi twitched. "The _wrong_ one. I went all the way there to get… the _wrong_ one?"

Kola handed him a paper with only directions written on it. "This is the correct one." She nodded her head approvingly. She then took the drooping over flower and stuck it in her mouth.

"What… did… you just do?"

"Ate it." Kola had that innocent smile on her face.

"This is the real one, right Kola?"

"Of course that's the correct one munch much!"

"Then what does it look like?"

Kola put her hand to her chin as if she was thinking. "It's a red rose."

Haiku walked in. She immediately noticed what Kola failed to recognize: Itachi bleeding, his left arm broken, rib sticking out of place, and cuts all over his body. "What happened?!" She rushed over to his side. He tucked away Kola's new directions.

"I'm fine."

"No you aren't!" She immediately began healing him. "Who did this to you?"

"Some ninja I ran into."

"It wasn't Dad again was it?"

"What?" Itachi had no clue what she was talking about. "It was a large group of Grass Ninja."

"What where you doing in the Grass Village area?"

"Um… I had an errand to do."

"Just be careful." Haiku made sure he wouldn't feel anything when she fixed his bones. "There, all done."

He bent his arm a few times. "Thanks."

Haiku tightly squeezed him in a hug. "Don't scare me like that again."

Itachi wrapped his arms around her, "I'll do my best."

"This is as far as I'm taking you Stalker. Now it starts rriiight" Kola pushed Itachi a few steps to one side, "here. See ya." Kola disappeared.

Itachi looked down at the paper.

* * *

**Twenty steps forward**

**Two steps to the right**

**Two steps to the left**

* * *

Itachi looked up from the paper. He was right up against the base of one of the trees, facing the same way he had started from.

* * *

**Five steps to the left**

* * *

He hit the tree head on. He glared at the directions.

* * *

**Turn around and take ten steps forward Fifty steps to the left**

* * *

Itachi hit another tree, but this time, his hand was what stopped him from face planting the tree.

**

* * *

**

**One hundred feet up**

**Twenty feet to the right**

**One hundred feet down**

* * *

Urg, why did Kola make the directions so pointless? Like go around this tree instead of go up, go around, and then come back down the tree.

Itachi found himself out on a branch twenty floors high.

* * *

**Jump across to the limb on the tree in front of you**

_

* * *

_

Ok then, if she said so. He did so and found himself face to face with a sliding door. He entered and looked around.

* * *

**To your right you will find a red rose. Cut and bring back with you.**

* * *

He found the elegant rose sitting in an old looking pot. He snipped it off and carried it to protect the petals from getting squished.

* * *

**Exit out the door you came in**

**Jump down to the ground level**

**Then run, avoiding the trees until you exit the Terra Clan's Land.**

**Hope you got the right one this time =P**

**

* * *

**

"Good job Stalker, that's the right one." Kola patted him on the back.

"**But Kola, isn't that--**" Zetsu protested.

"The perfect one for Haiku." Kola interrupted.

"Thank you Kola." He handed Kola the directions and the map to her before leaving.

* * *

I lay on the couch in Itachi's room. It was only going to be a matter of time before dinner was ready. I glanced at the clock, hn, another hour. I continued reading the book I took from the library. Where did Itachi run off to? It almost made me get the impression of him being up to something.

The door opened and then closed. "Haiku, I want to talk to you."

I sat up and closed the book. "Ok." His hand was behind his back.

"Close your eyes."

I obeyed.

"No peeking."

"I know Itachi."

"You can open them."

My eyes blinked open. A beautiful red rose was being presented to me. "For me?"

"Of course. It reminds me of you, but even it can't surpass your beauty." His words seemed like they had been well rehearsed. It was how they fluently flowed together. He was kneeling in front of me.

My face turned a dark cherry red; "I haven't been given a flower since I joined Kola's clan… Are you proposing to me?"

He took my hand in his, "Will you date me?"

His back hit the ground when I tackled him in a hug. "Of course Mammal!"

The door knob turned, Kakuzu poked his head into the room. "Am I interrupting something…"

We both looked at the intruder. I got up and helped Itachi. "No." Itachi replied in monotone.

"Dinner's ready." Kakuzu shut the door.

I took the rose that managed to avoid being squished from me tackling Itachi and smelled it.

"Hn. It smells good."

"It does." We entered the hallway and headed in the direction of the kitchen. "It almost reminds me of the one in our—No, it couldn't be… Itachi! You got this from our garden didn't you!"

"I don't know where it was." Itachi admitted.

"This was the one I cared for ever since I joined Kola's clan…"

"I'm sorry. I didn't know it was that special to you."

I looked him in the eyes, a light blush on my pale face, "I should be flattered."

Itachi felt himself relaxing. He could almost feel his new relationship with her falling apart over the flower he picked.

* * *

"I'm going to sleep now." I placed the vase filled with water and the blood red rose on the small table next to the couch.

"There's plenty of room over here. It would be a whole lot warmer too."

Haiku smiled. "Why not." She got on the other side of the bed from where he already was. He had the spot that was closest to the couch and also had the nightstand next to it. She got comfortable. The warmth of a fire wielder she had missed for all those years. The same warmth her father had when he's lull her to sleep every night until she was separated from them helped her fall asleep faster.

Itachi listened closely to her breathing. It was only a matter of time before her breathing evened out, signaling she was in deep slumber, already.

Itachi grew curious and since it had been a while since he had last done so, he opened up an eyelid and peered into her activated sharingun.

* * *

"_Where are we going?" We had entered one of the biggest trees I've ever seen._

_There was a tug on my ponytail. "Munchy, this is where the clan meetings are held."_

"_Kola, why is it so much bigger than the tree you live in?"_

"_Because right now, our tree is only thirty-six years old."_

"_Only?"_

"_Yeah. This tree is just as old as the first few Terra members that founded this whole place live in!"_

"_Live in? How old are they?"_

"_Older than I can count! They're as old as this whole planet and the sun and stars!"_

"_Kola."_

"_Yes Dad?"_

"_They aren't that old."_

"_But they were around when the dinosaurs were around!"_

"_Now Kola, it isn't nice to call the founders Pre-Historic. It makes them feel older than they really are." Kolima advised._

"_When were they born?" I asked._

"_They were born in ancient times. I don't remember how old they are…"_

"_Kolima, they're around four thousand years old."_

"_Wow, that's really old. My eyes were wide._

_We were now on a floor with a lot of children under the age of eighteen, happily playing. Hakuno said, "Kola, play nice with the other kids."_

"_But why? I wanted to come all the way to the meeting." Kola whined, "Oh hey, it's Zetsu!" Kola happily skipped off to her bicolored friend._

_The rest of us went up one more floor.. Surrounding the rounded walls were curving rose of sitting down people. We stood in the center of the room facing the people in front. The crowd went quiet._

"_Those are the clan elders." Kolima whispered to me._

_

* * *

_

"_Who's everyone else?" And why are there so many people?_

"_Some of the clan adults who aren't busy doing anything else. Those involved with clan matters. It isn't the whole clan. The kids are down one floor are the children of the ones here."_

_I could feel myself shaking just the tiniest bit. Being intimidated by all the watching eyes._

_One of the people who looked like they were in their thirties, but were apparently on of the clan elders said, "Hakuno, Kolima, take your seats."_

_They bowed in respect before taking their places where two empty spots were left._

_The same elder continued on, "So what's your name?"_

_I took a deep breath, "Haiku."_

"_What is your full name and who are your parents?"_

"_Haiku Uchiha, only child of Muki Sotaki and Madara Uchiha." There were several gasps in the crowd._

_I could hear the whispering with my finely tuned ears. "Madara Uchiha. Have you ever seen him?"_

"_Oh I heard he was a great fire wielder."_

"_Me too."_

"_Muki is a genius."_

"_I heard she could make people go crazy."_

"_She was supposedly better at metal torture than Madara without the sharingun."_

"_That doesn't matter, Madara was said to be more interested in physical torture."_

_A different elder spoke up. "Quiet."_

_The first elder continued on, "Is it true your father's the great founder of the fire clan, Uchiha? And your Mother was the great general of the water and strategic clan, Sotaki?"_

"_Yes."_

_The whispering started up again, "I told you I knew who they were."_

"_How could that be?"_

"_Does she posses the same talents as her parents?"_

"_Quite down." The third elder commanded._

"_Now." A fourth elder paused, "Why are you here?"_

"_Kola's parents found me after I was separated from my parents."_

"_How were you separated? Surely you would look for them and with parents like them, it would be easy to find you. Were you simply discarded?"_

_I held back the tears, though my eyes were now glazed over in liquid. "They would never to such a thing. They love me and I love them." I wiped my eyes with my blue sleeve. "I was swept away in a flood when a ninja that wanted me dead pushed us both in. I looked all over, but they were nowhere to be found. Even with the help of Flame." I was trembling with the never-ending tears, "I looked over the entire river valley area and even came back home, but they weren't there. I was in the forest crying when Kola found me. She wanted me to be her pet and her parents said yes without even looking at me. I've only been here for a day."_

_A female elder got up from her spot in front. "We're taking a five minute break." The people flooded out of their spots. The same elder came up to me and gave me a hug. "Everything will be alright. Sometimes, it's better to let the tears out than to keep it all bottled up inside."_

_I was sitting in the middle of the floor, waiting for everyone to quiet down from the break. The crowd hushed down._

"_Is there anyone else you can live with until your parents are found?" The second elder asked._

"_No."_

"_How about your clan? The Uchiha?"_

"_They want me dead."_

"_How about any friends?"_

"_I don't want him and his parents to be targeted from me being near them."_

"_Ok then."_

_The fifth one spoke up, "Have you been trained in any way?"_

"_My parents started training me."_

"_In the art of being a ninja?"_

"_Yes."_

"_What did your mother teach you in the ninja ways?"_

"_How to clean and heal cuts, reading…" I was thinking back on all the memories I had left._

"_Reading and stuff that all kids are taught don't need to be mentioned."_

"_How to use a machete, strategy," Another thought popped into my head. I said it without thinking. "how to seduce an Uchiha man, ninja weapons and tools…"_

_The female population in the crowd were giggling. Did I say something wrong?_

"_Your father?"_

"_A little bit of strength, speed, accuracy," Underestimating. They wouldn't believe I'm able to lift and use Dad's large metal fan anyway. "Fire jutsu,"_

"_How much fire jutsu?" The third elder interrupted._

"_Some. And he gave me scrolls with how to use much more."_

"_Go on and continue." The first one encouraged._

"_How to fight with a blindfold, sharingun, dealing with something called an Inner Madara, using this necklace," I pointed at the beaded necklace around my neck, "The metal fan form… I think that was it."_

"_Sharingan?" The third elder repeated._

"_Yeah."_

"_Do you have the sharingan?"_

"_Uh huh."_

_A man with short, brown, wavy hair stood up, "She lies! She doesn't have the sharingan!"_

"_Show us." The fourth elder encouraged._

"_Ok." I showed them my Internal Mangekyo Sharingan._

"_What does everyone else think of allowing this little five year old join our clan?" The first elder questioned the audience._

_A woman who looked like she was in her twenties raised her hand. She was called on. "I think it would be a good thing to do. After all, she has no one else."_

"_Nikku." The seventh elder who had been quiet during the entire meeting._

_The same person who didn't believe I had the sharingan spoke, "We don't need her. Everyone here thinks we should just so we can learn about the last remaining element we don't have, fire."_

"_Kolima." The same elder called on her._

"_It isn't about learning more jutsu elements."_

"_Nikku."_

"_Why learn fire if it would only bring destruction to our sacred land? Having her here would be no different! Just watch, it will only be a matter of time before a wave of fire hits and burns down all our homes."_

"_Kumori."_

"_Why be so paranoid Nikku? We have excellent water ninja who can put out any fires that start. It won't be that much of a deal." She was sitting next to Kolima. Kumori looked really strange… She had pure, snow-white skin, even paler than the Uchiha. Unlike the other Terra Members, she had dark green hair that went down to the middle of her back and what looked like yellow irises on her eyes._

"_Nikku."_

"_She doesn't even look like us! Honestly, the bone structure is all off. Hers is like that of the Uchiha, lightweight and built for being agile unlike us. We have more sturdy bones, built for power and heavy lifting. She doesn't even look like one of us."_

"_Zebomo."_

_He was holding Kolima's hand. He possessed a pitch-black skin and short, dark green hair, wavy just like Kumori. His irises were also a yellow. "You don't need to look like the others of this clan to be included in the clan. Kumori and I look how we wish, just like everyone else who wants to be different. It's normal to want to stand out and there's nothing wrong with it. We have the ability to alter appearances anyway."_

_There were mummers of agreement coming from most if not all the clan._

"_Nikku."_

"_You're just saying that because of that freak of nature of a son you have." Nikku hissed. "All because of the love you share to alter your DNA. In the middle of sexual activity I presume."_

_An eight elder spoke, "Nikku, that's enough."_

_Kola ran onto the floor with Zetsu trailing behind her. "Kola, come back to the other floor."_

"_Not yet. Elders, if you don't let Munchy join, I'll scream." Kola declared. The _whole_ entire crowd including elders paled at that thought. It was like they could almost hear the screaming already._

"_Raise your hand if you want this girl to join." The fourth elder commanded. Everyone but Nikku raised their hands. "Raise your hand if you want us to reject her." Nikku was the only one._

_Kola smiled before her and Zetsu went back down where they were supposed to stay._

_The elders spoke among themselves for a few minutes. The rest of the clan decided to talk to their neighbors while the elders made the final decision._

_The first elder began speaking, "We have decided to allow you to join on a few conditions."_

"_Ok." I replied. "What are they?"_

"_For starters, you will be raised by Kolima and Hakuno seeing how much Kola already has grown attached to you. You will follow each and every code and tradition just like the rest of us, learn the same stuff Kola does, to be accepted as a Terra Clan Member. When you are asked your name, you will no longer be Haiku Uchiha, but Haiku Terra. Unable to speak your last name to those outside of the clan. You will be just like us until the day you are reunited with your parents, Madara Uchiha and Muki Sotaki." The elder took a deep breath before continuing on, "But, we want you to allow us to do tests and find out more about your fire jutsu and sharingun."_

"_Why do you want to know so much about the sharingan?"_

"_That is the only kekki-genki we don't know about."_

"_I see."_

"_Do you accept and become one of us?"_

"_I do."_

"_Then you will become one of us."_

_The fourth elder was looking in their big leather book. She jumped when I was added into the clan because of so much fire knowledge was suddenly dumped in. "I thought you only knew a little bit?"_

"_Compared to Dad." I smiled. "I have the sharingan, I can catch on quickly."_

"_The meeting is now over." The second elder declared. The crowd abandoned their seats to congratulate me before leaving._

"_I knew you'd make it." Kolima smiled._

"_Hi there little cutie." Kumori patted me on the head. "As you noticed, my name is Kumori and this is my husband, Zebomo."_

"_How do you do?"_

"_I'm fine."_

"_It's ok to be nervous, so many new people around at once." Kumori continued on. "You may not know this, but Zebomo and I are Kola's friend, Zetsu's parents."_

* * *

Itachi was about to fall asleep after witnessing that memory. It was almost as if many of them just wanted her to join to be able to learn more about fire jutsu and the sharingan… Haiku turned over so she was facing him, her arms wrapped around his chest. She pulled herself closer to him, and snuggled against his chest.

* * *

It was extremely early in the morning when Kola snuck into Itachi's room. She did her best to hold back a giggle at the sight of Haiku snuggling up against Itachi. Kola carefully approached them, making sure she wouldn't wake them and started working on her prank, being sure to make sure she finished the job with a seal only she would be able to take off. That way, Haiku wouldn't be able to weasel her and Stalker's way out of this one.

"Kukuku."

* * *

**Author's Note: Yay! I know, 'about time they started dating!' ^_^ But what can I say, Haiku's stubborn. What do you think Kola's planning this time? It doesn't seem like it will be good knowing Kola as well as we all know her. Only morning will tell what kind of fate has been bestowed upon the Uchiha couple.**

**Just let me know if you have any questions. I'll do my best to explain. ^_^  
**


	13. Chapter 13: What Did You Do?

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

**Haiku & Kola 2:**

**Relationship Problems**

**Chapter 13: What. Did. You. Do?

* * *

**

I sat up, feeling warm arms sliding down my bare chest and down to my stomach. What the hell?! I looked down to see… me? This wasn't happening. It couldn't and wouldn't be happening. Who was I? I was flat chested and still had a headband on. My bangs were the same style, so that meant… Oh my god!

I unwrapped my body's arms from me and rushed to the mirror in the bathroom. Black hair with a dark gray tint to it, same exact style as I usually have though. The leaf headband, with a slash. There was no doubt about it, I was indeed…

In Itachi's body.

This just wasn't right. If I was in Itachi's body, then he had control of my body. That in itself was a horrible thought. There would be no telling what he'd do…

I sat back down on the bed next to my sleeping body. Performing the hand signs and seals necessary, I did what was required to swap bodies. I didn't work. I tried again; it didn't work. Without my sharingun level five, it took a while to realize what was going on.

"KOLA!!!!!"

Itachi woke up. He was puzzled by seeing himself sitting right next to him. "What's going on?"

I twitched, "Kola did this."

"Did what? And why do I sound like Haiku?"

"Look at the mirror." I said bitterly.

He got up and headed to the bathroom, taking his time. As soon as he did go in there, Kola appeared in the room. "What Stalker?"

"You did this and change us back."

"You sound awfully like Haiku." Kola nodded her head.

"I **am** Haiku!"

"You don't look it."

"Because **you** swapped our bodies."

"Fine, I did it, but why _should_ I change you back? Don't you _like_ being Itachi?"

I got up and opened up the semi-closed bathroom door, "That's why." 'Haiku' fondling her breasts.

"Well it isn't _that_ bad. After all, he could be doing things much worse munch much." Kola said.

"Kola, turn us back."

"Nah. I don't _feel_ like it."

"When?"

"Maybe a _few_ days."

"A few days?! There's no telling what he'll do to my body in a few days!"

"Sorry, but I'm not doing it until at least a few days. You'll just have to deal with it." Kola disappeared.

I threw on one of Itachi's shirts and got all of his ninja norms. "Itachi, stop checking me out and get ready for the day."

He looked up at me and glared. He grabbed my headband and tied it on. He finished up getting ready before we both headed off to breakfast.

"You better act like me and stop taking so much interest in my body, Itachi."

"As so long as you do the same, but don't disgrace me."

"I won't disgrace you as so long as you keep your end of the bargain."

"Deal?"

"Deal."

"I'm not smiling and you better not."

"Why? Do bunnies die every time you do or something?"

Itachi glared. "Just don't."

"Name two reasons why."

"The whole Akatsuki would be disturbed and if you were to do so in front of Sasuke, he might do something drastic and hurt himself."

"Is that why you won't even smile for me?"

Itachi was silent.

"It makes me think you don't enjoy my company."

Itachi death glared me with my now activated Mangekyo Sharingan as if he was going to use the Tsukuyomi on me. My sharingan looked just like his except the red and black were reversed.

"Why are you using my sharingun? You could at least hide it behind my usual eye color."

"Don't know how nor do I want to know."

"Suit yourself." I refrained from activating Itachi's sharingan. I didn't want to have it activated all day long like he usually did because unlike my body's, it wasn't an Internal Mangekyo Sharingan.

"Why is it that I can see a whole lot clearer than mine? I can see movements coming way sooner than mine can."

"Because you are on level five."

"Level?"

"Yeah, five."

"How many are there?"

"I have nine because of the elders studies and experiments they did when I first joined the clan."

"Compared to yours, what level would mine be?"

"The basic one like Sasuke's is level one. Two is yours; three was my original one that I never go below. Nonetheless, my eyesight isn't damaged regardless of what level I'm on."

"And the others?"

"Some other time."

"What levels are you usually at?"

"Four and five."

We entered the kitchen.

* * *

Tobi watched Haiku and Itachi sit in their usual places. There was something wrong here and he had the feeling Muki was involved in this somehow. "Tobi wants to know why Haiku looks stoic and not smiling."

"I'm fine Tobi. I just have a lot on my mind." Itachi replied in my place.

"How about you, Stalker?"

"Fine." Haiku replied, doing her best not to show any emotions. Well actually, controlling Itachi's emotional appearance was easy since he hadn't shown any emotions in so long. Even longer for smiling. She looked over at Itachi, since her body was used to hiding the sharingan, it had finally hit it on its own. Haiku could tell because her eye color was just the slightest bit lighter than the natural eye color. He'd have to command her body to match the eye color exactly for it to be like usual, but of course, he wanted to be an arrogant Uchiha man and not ask for help on how to do so.

* * *

Sonya lay on Deidara's bed in human form. She overheard Deidara's mission with Sasori and Tobi would mean he'd be gone for a while. Definitely not be back before dinner. She was on her stomach, feet up in the air, looking towards the door. She tapped her foot on the bed, poking the pillow. She was going through her little notepad to write down what she found out about these 'Akatsuki'. Adding a little bit here and there.

* * *

Hidan: Light skinned; white/silvery short hair, slicked back. Rosary around neck (triangle in a circle.) Affectionate for leader. Follower of Jashin. Immortal lunatic. Possibly lost his brain. Known to whine and spew profanities. Bloody masochist on top of it. Weapon: Red 3 bladed scythe. Partner: Kakuzu Ring: Three Ring Finger: Left indexKisame: Blue skinned, very tall, three black gills on either side of face. Shark teeth. Gets upset by shark cruelty even if the sharks are dead already. Swordsman, rouge of Mist. Water style attacks. Weapon: Toilet bandaged… sword? Called Sharkskin or Samehada. Partner: Itachi Ring: South Ring Finger: Left ring

Deidara: Lush, long blonde hair in a very high ponytail. Bangs covering up left side of his face. A scope is worn on the left eye. Transvestite. Bomb terrorist and renown fireworks expert.

* * *

Hm… what else to add to that one?

Hidan barged into the room, "Hey Deidara. You got any fucken hair gel? I can't believe I fucken ran out of fucken hair gel!" A small strand of hair stuck out of place.

Maybe he was like a T-Rex. He sure had the mental capacity of one! If she didn't move then he might not--

"YOU'RE THAT BITCH FROM THE LEAF!!!"

Sonya grabbed her notepad and at the exact moment he blinked, she turned back into the Siamese.

"Hidan, let's go." Kakuzu's hand was on Hidan's shoulder.

"That's the fucken bitch that fucken tortured us in the Leaf's hellhole!" Hidan pointed at Sonya.

"It's just a cat. Now let's go."

"Don't you fucken believe your own partner?!"

"Why did you finally decide to go insane today of all days?"

"I'm not fucken crazy! That's the pussy--"

"Cat."

"No, it's the sexy whore Leaf ninja!"

Sonya hissed. How dare he call her a whore!

Itachi was walking by.

"Itachi!"

"Hn?"

"Remember that slut from the Leaf? Sonya."

"Yes, but she isn't a slut."

"How would you fucken know?!"

"Haiku knows her and said she's a virgin. Her 18th birthday's coming up." Itachi continued on his way.

"Hidan, you were just seeing things."

"I fucken swear that's Sonya!"

"Sonya or not, we're going."

* * *

"Where are you going in such a hurry?"

"Bathroom."

"You better not--"

"Nothing perverted, I swear."

"Ok." I plopped down on the couch. On the small table next to me, I grabbed both the pencil and diary. I suddenly realized as so long as I was in Itachi's body, I wouldn't be able to read or write in the Terra Language. But Itachi now could. That's great, just great. He better not have the nerve to start writing and changing my diary entries!

* * *

Itachi sat on the toilet. Is that… blood? Oh shit!

There was a light knock on the bathroom door. "What's taking so long?"

Crap, how was he going to explain to her how he suddenly started bleeding down there? Itachi was positive he didn't cut her body, especially in-between the legs. "I'll be out in a little bit."

"Ok then." Itachi listened as the footsteps signaled Haiku going back to the couch.

"Haiku's body suddenly lurched forward. Itachi opened back up his eyes to see his knees. Stupid cramping! Does she always have to deal with this?! He took another wad of toilet paper, more blood.

A little innocent sounding voice snapped Itachi out of his thoughts, 'Why don't you deal with this and get a move on?'

"Who are you?" Itachi whispered, clutching his abdomen.

'Hn. You're not Haiku.'

"Who are you?"

'Hn… Oh yeah, you're Stalker and Haiku's controlling Stalker's body!'

"Yeah…"

'Why don't you just tell her you're suffering from cramps and bleeding. She'll understand.'

Knock, knock

"You ok in there?"

'Here's your chance.'

"I'm fine."

'And you blew it.'

"Are you my inner conscience?"

'Huh? _Your_ inner conscience has the voice of _Haiku_? How strange!'

"…"

'Silly, I'm Haiku's inner conscience, not yours!'

"Why are you talking to me?"

'Because you're bleeding and don't know what to do.'

"What should I do?"

'Just tell her, I swear, she won't get mad.'

A louder, more sinister voice blocked out the first, 'How are you so sure she won't think you were actually the cause of this mess?'

"Madara?"

A third voice, just as loud, 'She gets to deal with the advice from the three of us.'

Madara growled, 'Muki, stay out of this.'

She ignored him, 'If she _somehow_ got angry… she's very affectionate towards you.'

'She'd rather see Itachi dead!'

The first, quieter and more innocent sounding on, 'Both of you, put a sock in it! Madara, that's just what you want in order to protect Haiku. Muki, stop being perverted, Madara and I can overhear your thoughts.'

Muki, sounding innocently seductive, 'Madara-kun, wanna play some chess?'

'Mom!' Haiku whined, 'Not here and in front of Stalker. We don't want to be giving him any ideas.'

'But that's the point.' Muki seductively purred.

'Little Princess, no one's keeping you here.' Madara stated.

"I really don't need your help. I don't think the _real_ Haiku wants it either."

'We'll be back later.' Muki announced.

"Good riddance!"

"What's taking you so long?!"

"Just give me a minute."

"You've been in there for twenty-one minutes already!"

"Keep your pants on. I said one more minute."

"If I find out you shoved some random object in my vagina and took all this time 'cause it got stuck, as soon as we're back to normal, I'm gonna go get Samehada and see if _that_ gets stuck up your ass!"

Itachi spotted some bandaging in the storage space under the sink. That'll work. "I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING PERVERTED!"

* * *

Haiku smirked, he _never_ does that. Except maybe during initiation. Mood swings are one way to scramble moods around. How long will it take for him to come out and tell her already? Figured it would be happening soon, good thing she didn't have to deal with another one! Probably what's taking him so long. Not knowing what to do.

* * *

Itachi opened up a different cabinet and pulled out the medical paper tape. He added this to try and finish his makeshift Band-Aid.

* * *

'Why are you waiting for her?'

"'Cause I can."

'Is she 'getting herself ready'?'

"For what?"

'So you can finally screw her brains out.'

"**WHAT?!?!**"

'You heard me.'

"Wish I didn't."

'You said so yourself, you wanted to father her children; so that requires you to have some fun for once and repeatedly screw her senseless until she's so tired, she passes out from exhaustion. Then maybe the next day… do it again. You know, repeat the process until she's pregnant with your child.'

"Pervert."

'Why thank you very much.'

"Why am I talking to you? Oh my god, you better not be his inner conscience! Oh please no!"

'How could _you_ forget who I am!'

"Who are you? Out with it!"

'Your inner pervert.'

"Itachi's."

'Yours, Itachi's, same thing.'

"I'm Haiku in Itachi's body while Itachi has control of my body."

'Oh, then you won't mind as much if ya were to fuck your own brains out. Itachi would love having sex with you, though… he'd rather be on top… Uchiha guy thing you know.'

"I don't care!"

'I see… you just want sex.'

"Do not."

'What's life without a little bit of sex here and there?'

"Stop talking to me. Can't I talk to a more sensible inner voice?"

'They're preoccupied.'

'Preoccupied my ass!'

'Ugh, _you_.'

'Yes _me_. Now leave Haiku alone and keep your perverted thoughts to a minimum. She apparently doesn't like it.'

'Fine, but just remember Haiku, you are in his body with an erect penis every time you're within two feet of the female look-a-like. Try using it sometime.'

'Leave the woman alone. She doesn't deserve the punishment of your presence.'

"Leave me alone praying mantis."

'Fine, fine, I wi-- Wait, what did you just call me?!'

'Just leave her alone.'

'What did she say?!'

I knocked on the door again, "You ready yet?"

"It hasn't been a minute yet."

"It's been nine minutes!"

"I'll be out when I'm done."

'You do know if it wasn't for that _sensible one_ you would have been raped by now.'

'It isn't just me that convinces him not to. He doesn't want to force her to do anything too.'

'Yeah, well I'm the one who instills thoughts into his mind to have sex with you at night.'

"Leave me the hell alone."

Itachi opened up the door. "What? Why?"

'Told you she doesn't want anything to do with you and your pervertedness.'

"Wasn't talking to you."

"Then who?"

"Are you ready to go eat dinner now that you've taken thirty-one and a half minutes?"

"It's dinner time now?"

"Yes. What took you so long?"

"Just talking to yourself."

"Hn. Which ones?"

"All three."

"Ah."

"And you? How did you pass the time?"

I let out a sigh, "Do you know how much I'd enjoy killing your inner pervert?"

"What did he say?" Itachi sounded a bit alarmed.

I opened up the door and started heading towards the kitchen. He caught up to me and shut the door behind him. "How you apparently want to screw my brains out."

"Why did he say that?"

"Because he thought I was you. Then he was saying you said about wanting to father my children that I don't _want_ to have in the first place with _anyone_."

"Look, I'm sorry you're stuck with him. I don't really want to do that… _unless_ you're fine with me doing so."

"I became friends with the sensible one the pervert doesn't like being around. At least he doesn't want to rape me."

"Look Haiku. I can't control those thoughts. I'm a man and that's a man's natural instincts."

"I know. But don't you dare try it."

"I won't."

"Why are you walking so funny?"

"I'm not."

"Yes you are. I know my own body."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

* * *

Sasori asked, "Haiku, aren't you going to take your seat?"

"Yes." Haiku hesitated. When she sat down in a hurried manner, a look of discomfort appeared on her face.

"Are you ok?"

Haiku's eye twitched. "…I'm ok."

Itachi sighed.

Sonya knew there was something going on, but like all the other Akatsuki, she had know clue what. Carefully executing the hand signs while those around her were distracted, she made it so she could read minds.

Itachi: _'Why can't he just tell me I'm in a period. It's obvious. Except why he stayed in the bathroom for half an hour. Maybe he was just trying to figure out what to do when he saw the blood…'_

Sonya was utterly confused. She could have sworn she read Itachi's mind, but she was so sure Itachi was a man. Did that mean Haiku was actually the man instead?

Haiku: _'Damn it! It feels too wet and squishy down there. What am I going to do? She's gonna freak out when she finds out I broke her body…'_

What the hell is going on?!

Itachi: _'Then again, I wouldn't be surprised if he actually spent that time checking me out. He really shouldn't be trusted in my body. There's no telling what he'd do… I often have to remind myself he's an Uchiha man with a praying mantis mind.'_

Now Sonya was getting more and more confused. One, was Itachi really a woman? Two, did they have sex and that's why they keep thinking about stuff like being trusted in her body? That just sounds wrong.

Haiku: _'She's gonna kill me for this when we get switched back. I just know it.'_

Hm… Itachi's thoughts sounded like Haiku complete with her voice, and Haiku's thoughts sounded like Itachi. Then they were saying about switched back. Sonya sighed, that sounded better and less confusing. But how did they get 'switched?'

Haiku:_ 'Ah! Does she usually have to deal with these stupid cramps?'_

Yeah, they're most definitely controlling each other 'cause that sounded like something Itachi would say if he had to be in her shoes while in a period…

* * *

"Are you sure about wanting to become partners with the likes of him?"

"For the last time, yes Kabuto."

"I just don't trust him. He seems like the type to stab his partners in the back."

"You don't need to worry. He won't dare to do so to me."

"If you say so…"

The door opened up and then quietly closed. "Sorry I'm a bit late. I had a quick errand to do."

"Partner."

"Yes partner?"

"What where you doing?"

"Me?" Nikku sat down. "I needed to see if I could get in to my old homeland."

"Could you?" Orochimaru asked.

"No."

"Why do you want in there so desperately?" Kabuto questioned.

"I told you, they have the best ingredients necessary for the very same… what to call it, plague, that'll do nicely. Well anyway, if I want to recreate it, then I'll have to use the best quality I can find and of the correct mixture. Then my microscopic friends will have a nice treat to the last few surviving members. Then I'll be able to get back in for sure and… become incredibly filthy rich."

"But what about your previous way to get rich?" Kabuto skeptically stated.

"That is one way, and that is another. Both will indeed make myself and all those allied with me the richest people to ever walk this planet."

"Then why not kill Lord Orochimaru to obtain even more money?"

"Kabuto, your questions are becoming ridiculous." Orochimaru hissed.

"If you must know, jealous one, Orochimaru has been taken under my wing as my Brother."

"How old are you?"

"On March 29th I'll be 42."

"Then why are you taking him under _your_ wing? Wouldn't it be the other way around?"

"I'm going to teach him all of what I know, like an older brother teaching his little brother. Only this way, he's the older one by only eight years."

"How old are those you wish to kill?"

"They will all turn twenty this year, but I swear I will personally kill Haiku." Nikku cracked his knuckles.

"Why?"

"She's the one who saved her sister, Kola in the first place. She didn't deserve to be in our clan in the first place. It's unfortunate none of the assassinations before she joined us succeeded. Then the elders wouldn't have to allow her to join. Then Kola will perish from my little experiment. If Zetsu doesn't die in the same way as his childhood friend, then I'll kill him the same way as Haiku. But I'd have to figure out a new way to strip him of his immortality first… Oh well, I'll let him continue on living a depressed life while I find a new way to kill him."

"What do you have against them?"

"The whole clan were against me from the start on my ambitions, so they all deserved to be killed. For the remaining three… Haiku isn't of our clan. She's just an impurity, worse than Zetsu. For at least his parents where both of the clan to begin with."

"If you had to restart your clan?" Orochimaru was mildly interested in his 'brother.'

"If the three remaining were to be killed, I'd create my own wife… If I had to chose a bride already existing, maybe Kola if she isn't dead first."

"Why her?" Orochimaru asked.

"I have nothing against her and her parents. She isn't an impurity to the clan and I'd rather be with someone who is pure so the clan would be pure…" Nikku drifted off for a few minutes, "I'd rather see her dead. If she can survive once again, I might consider it."

"But do you love her?" Kabuto questioned.

"I've never loved anyone of the opposite sex. They're lucky if they are 'loved' like a family member. I didn't even spare my own parents. Orochimaru, you're the only one who I love as a brother."

"I should feel honored."

"I can only wait until spring to make my first move. Until then, I'm going to teach you, my beloved Older Brother, everything I know."

* * *

**Author's Note: If you where in Kabuto's shoes, would you also not trust Nikku? Do you think Hidan will be able to convince the other Akatsuki members Mayhem is really Sonya in disguise or will they all agree with Kakuzu in thinking he finally went crazy? Who would have ever thought it, Itachi actually has an inner pervert! Thanks for taking the time to read my story! ^_^**


	14. Chapter 14: The Dress of Imminent Doom

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

**Haiku & Kola 2:**

**Relationship Problems **

**Chapter 14: The Dress of Imminent Doom**

* * *

**Author's Note: I'm sorry, but near the end, I was in a hurry and so the end is rushed. T_T**

**blaze : Haiku doesn't tell Itachi about her body in a period because she wants to see how long it will take for him to just come out and confess.  
**

**hisoka-ai9 : As far as I know, Nikku doesn't mean anything. One of my friends uses 'Nikko' a lot, and that means 'cat', but i just felt like changing one letter. As for Kola, you'll see. ^_^  
**

**

* * *

**

I opened my eyes and peered towards the bathroom door. Itachi exited, not knowing I was awake and rubbing the area between my body's legs.

"What are you doing?"

Itachi froze.

I sat up, "Well?"

"Um…"

After about an intense minute of pure awkward silence before he finally said, "I SWEAR I DIDN'T MEAN TO BREAK YOUR BODY!!!"

"WHAT!?!?"

Itachi calmed down a bit. "Look, I don't even know what happened. I just realized I started bleeding yesterday when I was in the bathroom. The cramping and pain was so horrible!"

I had a completely impassive expression."…And that is called a period…"

"Really? Periods are so horrible!"

"And us women get to experience them once a month."

"How long are yours?"

"Five to six days each time."

"What?! I have to go through six days of this punishment!"

"Is that all?"

"Well you see… I kept bleeding and it wouldn't stop, so I…"

"Continue."

"So I…"

"Continue."

"I made a big band-aid with bandages and tape, but it wasn't working so I had to take it off just a little bit ago."

"What?!"

"It hurt to take it off!"

"You're not supposed to do that!"

"Then what am I supposed to do?"

I got up, "Come with me." I headed back into the bathroom.

* * *

"And every once in a while, check and see if you need to change it."

"Why not a 'tampon?'"

"You're not sticking anything up there while you're in my body! Got it?"

Itachi blinked a few times. Perverted thoughts came into his mind. "Hn…"

"Aw, Itachi, I didn't mean like that!"

"So how have you two been doing?" Kola sat on the messy bed.

"Change us back." I said.

"Why should I?" Kola had a smug grin on her face.

"I hate being a woman!" Itachi interrupted me before I could say anything.

"What's so bad about being a woman?"

Itachi twitched, "Girl problems."

"_Oh_… Haiku's in a period?"

I nodded.

"How about you Haiku?"

"I'd rather go through the usual periods than go through his guy problems!"

"It's not that bad." Itachi stated.

"I can't go anywhere near my own body without having to deal with those problems!"

"You just need to better control it."

Kola giggled, "So you want to stay like this a little bit longer?"

"NO!" We both responded at the same time.

"How about this, first Haiku can fight me and then Itachi. Depending on what happens, I'll change you two back."

"Deal." We both answered.

* * *

I was up first. Kola and I had been fighting for a while. It turns out, I was limited to only what Itachi could do. That meant, no teleporting, no summoning, none of my fun little tricks, and most of my jutsu. I honestly didn't know that many of Itachi's jutsu. I did know about something involving ravens, but I never seen how they worked. Ah damn it. We had been fighting for a while until I tried using one of my usual jutsu, not his. I'd been feeling tired and as soon as I tried this, I face planted the ground or actually, the snow. I could only manage to turn my head to one side. "What's going on?"

Kola kneeled down next to me, "You ran out of chakra munch much."

* * *

Itachi watched as Haiku had foolishly used up the remaining amount of chakra his body had trying to use on of her usual jutsu. But he couldn't blame her, she was used to this enormous amount of chakra. It was just crazy, not only did she have more than him on a usual every day basis thanks to Madara being her father, but she also had whatever amount was in this necklace.

"Ready Itachi?" Kola had apparently restored a little bit of her chakra for now she was sitting in a spot in the tree he was at where she cleaned off the snow.

"Yeah." Itachi pushed off the tree he was leaning against, his foot on the trunk.

Kola pulled out a kunai and teleported next to him. She managed to make a clean cut in his arm. Itachi kicked her and while she was down, searched his pockets for something interesting to use. He found a crane in her waterproof pouch. He added chakra to it until it darted into the air. To his surprise, not only had the cut healed on it's own leaving no scarring or any hint it was even there except the cut remaining on the shirt that was already beginning to mend itself. Without him doing any of that nor adding chakra to any other cranes, they flew single file out of the pouch. The army set itself up. He could suddenly hear the voice of one of the cranes in his head no doubt. Like when he would use crane talk to contact Haiku. "Awaiting orders."

Using what Haiku had taught him, though it was a bit different. He simply concentrated on a small little amount of chakra and was able to send a message. Actually, it seemed as if it just disappeared as soon as he figured out he wanted to reply to the crane. "What's your position?"

"Huh? Right in front of you, one and a half feet to the right, half an inch to the front."

"No, in the army."

"_Oh_. Second-in-command."

"Really?"

"I already know you're not Haiku. So how can you do this?"

"Haiku and I were swapped bodies by Kola against our will."

"So you apparently don't know what you're doing."

"Not at all."

The crane sighed, "I'll handle it. Just keep out of my way."

"Thank you."

"Yeah yeah yeah. Since it's Kola I'm guessing disable the opponent, not try and kill her."

"Yup."

* * *

The four of them (Zetsu showed up) gathered in the kitchen, each drinking a cup of hot chocolate to warm up.

"What do you think I should do?" Kola asked her most trusted accomplice.

"I think you may want to spare them and turn them back. **But first, you should give them some task to do first, just to make it more entertaining.**"

"That sounds good, but what to do…"

Haiku and Itachi exchanged worried looks.

"Haiku, while in control of Itachi's body, you will wait until the rest of the Akatsuki come here and skip like a sissy lala."

"What?!" Itachi exclaimed.

"And smile."

"NO!"

"What? Just because you're an S-Classed criminal that kills for a living doesn't mean you can't skip around like a sissy lala."

"_Why_?"

"Because I can." Kola paused, "Itachi, you're going to go find Kakashi, borrow his book, and read it in front of the Akatsuki; all as Haiku. You can return the book later."

"What?!" Haiku exclaimed.

"It'll be interesting to finally find out what he's been reading about without having to read it myself."

"I'll only let Haiku skip around as so long as she isn't smiling."

"Fine, then you get to wear a dress as you do so."

"What?"

"_Oh_ y_ou heard me_."

* * *

"Dad, do you think Sonya's alright?"

"Of course Shikamaru."

"It's just the fact she up and left… Sure it was a mission, but you'd expect her to be back by now."

"Missions like that take a lot of time. Some even years."

"Does that mean she isn't coming back for her birthday?"

"She will. Just watch, she'll be back right before her birthday."

"If she's so good at her job, then why should it take very long at all?"

"I've always believed women had something programmed into their genetics where they just have to get out of home for a while and wonder about. See the world. Enjoy themselves by doing whatever it is women like doing at her age."

"What a drag!"

* * *

"Deidara, it's about fucken time you got back!"

"Did I miss anything un?"

"It's the cat, I fucken swear we've got a spy!"

"Whose the spy un?"

"That bitch of yours!"

"What are you talking about?"

"That pet! It's the bitch!"

"I have a female cat, not dog."

"It's her I fucken swear!"

Mayhem ran up to Deidara. He happily picked her up and scratched under her chin.

"There she is!"

"Un. It's my cat."

"I saw her with my own fucken eyes! When you were fucken gone, that bitch was laying on your bed. When I fucken blinked, she turned back into that cunt!" Hidan pointed at the cat purring in Deidara's arms.

"Did anyone else see… _this_ un?"

"Well… no, but there was Kakuzu!"

"Did you see anything un?"

"Unfortunately for me, he finally became a lunatic." Kakuzu grumbled.

"I figured un. I'd say he finally lost his mind, but that actually happened a long time ago…"

Hidan's hand went straight for the handle on his weapon. Mayhem's ears pricked up. She tilted her head as if signaling to Deidara that she wanted to see who was around the corner, heading into the kitchen where they where. The rest of the Akatsuki came in from the living room across the room from this entrance the three of them stood by.

Wearing the pinkest dress they've ever laid eyes on, covered with lace and it was oh so poofy. It looked like a kind of dress the young girls who might have been 7 in England might perhaps used a whole long time ago. Either that, or it was some kind of sewing project designed to slowly kill the wearer with layer upon layer of extremely light pink lace. This one looked like it fit just find with the exception of the knees showing in it. The designer even went through the trouble of designing a girdle into it, with long pinkish red ribbon flowing out behind the wearer. It was the perfect image of torture for woman kind in the clothing department. This person was skipping through the kitchen, heading to the living room.

Deidara finally choked out the words, "Is that Haiku?"

"I'm afraid not. For starters, no one, not even her, Kola or Konan would wear something so hideous. Secondly, apart from there being a pale bow in this person's hair holding it into a low ponytail, Haiku doesn't look that… angry with the glare Itachi usually uses…"

Kisame's jaw dropped, "Itachi?"

The person only had the impression of two things; one, hate of everything around him and two, an appetite for revenge for whoever did that to him. Poor Itachi…

* * *

Little did the rest of the Akatsuki know, the instrument of torture was actually from a prank Kola had made for Haiku when they were thirteen. Kola had simply lengthened the sleeves a bit so it didn't look so small on Itachi plus saving it from the black flames from Haiku when Kolima and Hakuno had forced Haiku to at least try it on so they didn't hurt Kola's feelings. Inside, Kola was busting up laughing the whole entire time. Sure it had been on the list of things Haiku was going to destroy, but Kola had gotten ahold of it first and for the sake of hilarious memories, hid it away in a spot where Haiku and her black flames would never **ever** find it. In fact, this was the first time Haiku had seen it let alone worn it since she couldn't move and Kola told Itachi to put it on her. But besides that, the last time was when Kola had first given it to Haiku. If Kola had known where Muki was, she's sit in a corner with her and sinisterly chuckle along with her.

* * *

Haiku had Kakashi's book in her hands. After Itachi skipping past the Akatsuki in the Dress of Imminent Doom, five minutes of reading a book created by someone who was most likely made up of 100% pervert, utter humiliation, Madara erasing the memory of everyone other than those directly involved (other than Madara himself and of course Muki who actually gave Kola the idea of them swapping spots in the first place since Haiku was saying how she had to go through another period at about the same time and rather see what Itachi would do in that situation) which saved both Itachi and Haiku from them bringing up what had happened just to laugh and see the two being humiliated all over again, and eleven minutes of persuasion to get Kola to actually get off her lazy butt and do her end of the bargain. So now, Haiku and Itachi now had control of their own bodies again which was a great relief. Now not only did they no longer have to deal with the other's problems directly relating to gender, but also the voices in the other's head. Who knows, maybe the voices of Madara and Muki were getting to him… He obviously liked talking to the voice of a small, innocent sounding Haiku, but still. Madara who was just like the Madara who would rather see him dead than to face the possibility of Haiku getting hurt in any way even if it were something small and minute. Muki on the other hand was the one who was the same exact force that controlled Haiku with the Inner Muki that ended in Itachi not only being tied to his own bed in a towel, but tortured for a day with no one to save him. Plus when he wanted to find Haiku, she had already disappeared. Haiku on the other hand **HATED** talking to Itachi's hidden voice of a pure pervert. Just because he was well known for being stoic, not very talkative, and didn't smile regardless of the situation didn't mean he didn't have the instincts of every other man and somehow got rid of every single one until he had the emotions of a robot or possibly a computer.

* * *

Now I had been discretely traveling to the Leaf Village to find the perfect spot to leave this book, not intended for the mortal eyes, not that the immortal would like it on bit for it would most likely burn into their skulls too not to mention cause them to go blind with the content. If I put it in the wrong spot, then some innocent minor might find it and try reading it, ruining their mind forevermore. Sure it isn't _that_ bad, but perverts and closet perverts flock to it like pigeons being feed breadcrumbs in a pleasant park. I needed to make sure Kakashi would be the one to get it, but I couldn't just hand it over because not only would it seem suspicious, but according to the Hidden Villages, Kola and I have been captured and aren't freely walking around. When I'm ready to be a rouge for good, I'll make that decision on my own. But how to get it back to him? I looked below me from the branches to see Kakashi walking to what looked like would be in the direction to the Memorial Rock. I watched a little bit longer to make sure that was indeed what was going on before teleporting ahead, setting the book right in front of where he'd stand for those long hours before teleporting to the trees again, still being able to watch and see what he thought. He had entered the clearing, looking around as if he realized his book was gone. Once he spotted it, he carefully headed over to it, making sure it wasn't a trap before picking it up, flipping through the pages and then tucking it into his back pocket. It would be fun to lace the pages with paper bomb, but he hadn't done anything to me to deserve such a fate. I'd feel guilty if it was just because I could and I'd get another copy, get it signed to make it special before giving to him.

I teleported back to the HQ. Being late and all, I grabbed something to eat and went to Itachi and my room. The bathroom door opened up and since he obviously didn't know I had returned, was only wearing a towel. Only letting myself watch him for a few seconds, I forced myself to look away and get the blankets tonight. I had decided I wasn't sleeping on the bed and I'd rather stay on the couch where it was nice and comfy without worry of losing blankets to someone else or otherwise find myself hugging him or find myself being hugged when waking up. Kola of course would turn that into a rumor if she saw it.

It didn't take long for Itachi to realize I had returned. I had already turned my back to him and was apparently already drifting off to sleep. He only shrugged his shoulders and changed in the same room because he figured I wouldn't care being asleep and all. He can easily be fooled by the signs of someone drifting off to sleep. He simply forgot where I had been trained for so long and either forgot or didn't realize I could control my body to seem like I was asleep though I just wanted to think for a little while before actually falling asleep.

He climbed into bed after finishing up everything he had to do beforehand.

"Good night Itachi." I mumbled.

He immediately sat up, "You're awake?"

"Yeah."

"But you seemed so--"

"I just wanted to think."

"About what?"

"Whatever it is that comes to mind."

* * *

**Author's Note: ****So anyway, what'd you think of the chapter? Was it good, bad, funny, boring something in-between? What did you think of Haiku's second-in-command? I like hearing what my readers think. ^_^ Thanks for the reviews.  
**


	15. Chapter 15: Reasons To Cry

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

**Haiku & Kola 2:**

**Relationship Problems**

**Chapter 15: Reasons To Cry**

* * *

**CuttlefishShiz : I'm glad to hear it when people like my story.**

**melioko : What? No, I meant the end of the last chapter was rushed. I was in a hurry to start working on this chapter. T_T Yeah... I am going to write a third part, but I'm not there yet. I'll be sure to give everyone a heads up when that happens. Even then I'll do my best to only take a week writing the first chapter.**

**hisoka-ai9 : I like the cranes too. Especially her second-in-command.**

**blaze : As for Muki, the longer she is in one place, the more her evil self comes out. It also is because she gets bored just like everyone else and then gets rid of the boredom by messing around and showing her evil.**

**Just as a reminder, if you want to learn more about Madara and Muki, Googala2 has the story Wicked Hearts that starts off of when they first met.  
**

**My birthday is this week. ^_^  
**

**

* * *

**

Madara awoke early in the morning to a sound right next to him that would be best explained as that of a monster, growling and grunting. He could feel another tug on his hair and then the weight of it left completely. Carefully turning the slightest bit to the side to see what was going on, a single strand of his long bangs on one side was consumed. His sleeping Little Princess had her arms tightly latched onto his shoulders and neck while she unconsciously attacked his long ebony spikes. He felt himself go ridged as the last strand on the top of his head disappeared. Next to him, Muki went stiff, it was as if she knew even in her sleep, something unspeakable was to happen if no one tried to stop it. Haiku's teeth were closing in on Muki's hair that so close to Madara's hair that made it smell like his hair conditioner and thus desired to be consumed by his daughter. As in instinctive reaction to protect his wife who he never wished to marry in the first place oh so long ago, he stuck his hand in the way of Haiku's jaws to get Muki's hair that had never before been eaten.

Madara picked up Haiku, leaving his mask at the bedside and at a casual pace, headed to her and Itachi's room.

* * *

Madara lay Haiku down on the bed, but she still clung to him. He pried off her arms only for her to snatch up a chunk from underneath the sanctuary of the cloth that always hid his long ebony spikes. She curled up on her side, but in a split second, she latched onto the _other Uchiha_. Madara's ominous glare was filled with hate, dislike and complete loathing at the sight. She was chewing on his hair just like she'd always to do him when she was young, and now…

Madara's hand turned into a fist.

Haiku stopped attacking Itachi's locks while he slept and even though she herself was asleep, she let go of her stalker and practically jumped at Madara, clinging back onto his shoulders and consuming the surviving long ebony locks. Madara felt his glare softening up.

* * *

Two-year-old Haiku trailed after her father down the corridors of the Uchiha Manor. As leader of the Uchiha Clan, he was heading to a meeting. Of course Haiku wouldn't of known that, all she knew was she was hungry, Muki was out of sight and Madara had a lion's mane of hair still remaining; untouched by the day's attacks. His hair swayed back and forth across his ass, the hair itself was a gift from above. Right in front of the room the meeting was to be held, he stopped to greet Muki who just arrived herself. Taking this opportunity, Haiku jumped and grabbed as high as she could. She managed to take a large chunk of his hair, but her hands had latched onto his waist. She still had a hold on them for long enough for her to land safely on her feet, let go and then happily munch on the delicious locks she managed to get.

"_Kukuku."_

Haiku had unknowingly pantsed Madara not only in front of Muki, but several of those to show up in the meeting. Not being humiliated whatsoever since he had boxers on anyway, pulled back up his pants and then glanced over his shoulder at his adorable little daughter, sitting on the ground and chewing away at his precious ebony hair.

* * *

Madara let a smirk appear on his pale lips. His Little Princess had grown a lot. His eyes once again narrowed at Itachi. He set Haiku back on the bed and covered her up once she was perfectly satisfied from eating every single last strand on his head. But now, he had to deal with Itachi. Put him in his spot. With an open handed slap, Itachi went flying into the wall, even leaving a bit of a hole where his body collided. From there, he dragged Itachi over to the couch, set him there, covering him up with the blankets that had been unoccupied. As he left the room, happy he had put Itachi where he belonged as an Uchiha man, a black eye along with all kinds of other bruises throughout Itachi's body were already forming.

* * *

Itachi woke up feeling an excruciating pain throughout his entire body. He had to slowly sit up if he wanted to sit up at all. Strangely enough, he was on the couch, while Haiku was on the bed. In her sleep, it was as if she was looking for him and his warmth. It was still really late at night, not anywhere close to time to getting up for the day.

* * *

_I told myself repeatedly, "It's not real. It's just a dream. He isn't alive."_

"_Is that how you sleep at night?" Nikku's taunting voice came from right next to me. "Just because you may think it's simply a bad dream, doesn't make matters any better."_

"_Leave me along."_

"_I will finish my original task." Nikku whispered in my ear, "But first, I'll separate you from everyone you love and care about."_

"_You don't even know what love is."_

_Nikku was face to face with me. "It doesn't matter. I'll make you life a living hell. So much you'll be begging to die."_

"_You're dead." I defiantly stated._

"_Suddenly so sure of yourself." Nikku commented._

"_Make my life a living hell? If I die, I'm going to go to heaven just like the other members of our clan."_

"_The clan. That's all you can think about? Just because they're 'good people working to take care of all around them' doesn't mean you're going to heaven. It doesn't matter, dead is dead."_

"_It's better than where you're going!"_

"_I'm not afraid of hell."_

"_Then why do you cringe just the slightest?"_

"_You're the one tied up, not me."_

"_You're just a coward."_

"…"

"_Hn."_

"_An Uchiha such as yourself isn't afraid of going to hell once I'm done with you?"_

_I gulped._

"_Before I do anything, like I said, you're life is going to be a living hell."_

"_That's your life you're confusing mine with."_

"_Why don't I start with your lover? What's his name again, Itachi?" Itachi appeared across from me, tied up just as well._

"_For someone to see whom they deeply care about dying right in front of their own eyes…"_

"_Leave him alone. This is between you and me."_

_Nikku produced a small light green vine that immediately sharpened itself into a dagger. "But what's the fun in that?" The dagger hovered over his heart, then he slowly let it drift from vital organ to vital organ. "Now which one should I take out first?"_

"_What do you want from me?"_

"_If you know him so well, then which one shall I choose?"_

"_Nikku, don't."_

"_How about this, since you love him so much?" The dagger was right in front of Itachi's heart. "Don't worry, it won't hurt if he already gave you his heart…"_

"_STOP!!!!!!!!"_

_Regardless, Nikku plunged the plant-constructed dagger straight through Itachi's ribs, puncturing his heart. Itachi's eyes, now misted over with pain reflected my own eyes, already watering over. Pain and misery matching in both our eyes._

_I began to shake uncontrollably, "Why?" was the only word I could manage to force out my pale lips._

"_You're too affectionate; too soft for your own good. Learn to be a ninja and break off all care towards others. That is a true shinobi. Then you won't be affected by even your closest comrades dying in battle."_

_I struggled at the rope binding me to the chair. The chair itself seemed to be glued to the darkened ground. I had nothing with me, no cranes, no weapons, nothing that could be used in this situation._

"_It's pointless to try and go into an inner mode. You're chakra is useless to you in this world of darkness. In the area around us, it will just keep getting darker and darker until it becomes pitch black. Even then, it seemed to somehow get darker than even that. Where we were, happened to be the only lighted area._

_Itachi coughed up blood. Itachi choked out the simple words filled with a great meaning. "I love you Haiku."_

"_No, don't leave me Itachi!"_

"_I'm sorry." Blood running out of the corner of his mouth, "When you see him, tell Sasuke I'm sorry he was unable to fight me again."_

"_I love you Itachi. Please don't go." I begged._

_Nikku grabbed the dagger still embedded in Itachi's chest and twisted it, pushing it in deeper. Nikku made sure I could still see my dying Stalker the whole time. He stepped aside._

"_I…" He coughed up more blood. "Love…" He took another breath, as deep as he could manage, "You…" Itachi closed his eyes for the last time._

"_ITACHI!!!!!!!!!!!!"_

* * *

Itachi bolted up off the couch and to Haiku's side, ignoring the pain of injuries he had mysteriously received in his sleep. She was still sleeping; no doubt a nightmare instead of the usual memories. Tears streaming down her cheeks, his warm embrace helped calm her sobs. "It's ok. I'm here. I'm here for you. I love you."

* * *

Nikku snarled at the intruder of his room. Several of the candles arranged in a circle around him had gone out as a result of Kabuto quickly swinging the door open.

Kabuto glanced around the room. Interest caused his eyebrow to rise. "What's going on in here?"

"It _was_ for a jutsu of mine."

"What kind?"

"A jutsu that causes nightmares." Nikku said matter-of-factly.

"How does it work? Were you giving yourself the nightmares?"

"No you idiot! I was giving a certain someone a nightmare."

"Do explain if you don't mind. It seems very intriguing."

Nikku smirked. He forgot all about his anger of his jutsu being interrupted and Haiku being able to escape from it with such ease. "For starters, you have to already know everything in order to start it. By picking a person and their known general location, while they are already sleeping, the user is able to slip into their dream and take complete control, turning it into a nightmare where you can do whatever you want. The victim is usually completely stuck in it and has to either one, kick me out themselves, two, being forced awake, three, the jutsu being interrupted by say, the candles going out or the user's concentration being disturbed. There might be other ways, but I've never heard of any others."

"Really. I had no clue you possessed something so amazing."

* * *

Itachi held her until her sobs had completely disappeared. Only her wet face remained with the tears that had traveled not only down her neck, but also drenched her chest with the slightly salty tears. She slowly opened her eyes. Looking up at him, the first expressions he read from her eyes was complete disbelief, then it quickly turned to delight.

She turned and with the strongest hug he had ever received from her, he could feel his lungs emptying themselves. "Itachi." Her head was resting on his shoulder, but unfortunately for him, her hug became stronger and stronger. Unknowing what had gone on in the nightmare, he didn't want to tell her he couldn't breath from the power in her arms that one would expect the child of Madara would have without even trying to inflict damage. He could only guess something bad had happened and judging from not only her scream and also her reaction to seeing him, and he must have been in some kind of grave danger if not killed.

Crack

Haiku looked up at him as if completely shocked by what had just happened. Her hug was completely gone now, she was only uncertain of what he was going to say or do. Itachi could already see her eyes watering up again.

"It's just a broken rib. I'm fine. Seriously."

Her hands glowed a light blue, with the slightest of touches to the broken rib, it was all better. She then noticed in the dark of all the injuries he had before she had hugged him with much more strength in her arms than he thought possible with the build of her body. Kola seemed more capable of doing such things. Haiku had all of his injuries healed up in what he was guessing in a mere minute. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine."

* * *

Kabuto sat on Nikku's bed, watching the jutsu being performed. Nikku sat in the center of the floor with his legs crossed, relit the candles, performed the many highly complicated hand signs and held the last one, palm against palm. He then went into a dream like state.

* * *

_"Kola."_

_Kola went completely ridged at the voice. The green meadows of fuzzy white bunnies, butterflies, flowers and Zetsu vanished. The soft rolling hills flattened out and the land now seemed disserted from all life and light for that matter._

_She struggled from the force making her sit in a chair that had suddenly appeared behind her. Rope came out of nowhere to capture her and tie her to the black metal chair so similar to the areas off to the distance. Only the area she was in had light. She bit at the rope that got too close to her mouth._

"_Now behave Kola." Nikku appeared right in front of her._

_Her eyes narrowed into a death glare that would be able to compete with that of Madara's. Her usual fun attitude turned into complete anger._

"_Sit." Nikku commanded._

_He took a step closer to the younger Terra member only for the force controlling her back and trying to push her into the black chair disappeared completely with a punch right to Nikku's face. Completely unexpected._

"_How dare you." Kola snarled._

_He dodged another fist. Nikku put Haiku into the scene to try and protect himself from the oncoming attacks. He had a vine crafted dagger up to her throat._

"_This is my dream and it does what _I_ want." A giant venus flytrap appeared out of nowhere and completely gobbled up Nikku. The Haiku fading completely._

_Kola began to relax. It was just a dream. A horrible one at that and that was the truth munch much. The area around her turned back into how it was beforehand. Zetsu appeared only to merge into the ground when the pain on her hip started. It was small and unnoticeable at first, but then it started hurting steadily more with every passing minute. Her internal organs near her right hip began sending signals to her brain of a seriously painful occurrence happening. Kola's eyes widened with shock._

_Nikku appeared again. He had a smirk across his tanned face. "It hurts doesn't it?"_

_She squeezed her eyes tight._

"_I sped up the process up quite a bit since I can't stay here forever." Nikku sighed._

_Kola could already feel the pussy liquid forming. She concentrated and just like that, the pain went away._

_Nikku glared at his once thought victim. Now the tables were turning in _her_ favor. Not good at all…_

_Vines entangled Nikku. From there, the oil buds and fire flowers popped up on the same exact vines on him. It seemed Kola might have changed her mind because instead of using the two flower types, she started beating Nikku to a bloodied pulp._

* * *

Nikku snapped out of the trance, gasping for air.

"What happened?"

"She managed to do the unexpected."

"That would be?"

"She reversed everything coming after her and then beat me."

"Into a bloody pulp?"

"Yes."

"Does that always happen to you?"

"No." Nikku said finally catching his breath.

* * *

_Zetsu could feel himself stretching out, but then pulling the blankets back over his plant shell. Something wasn't quite right here… He cracked open the venus flytrap and automatically knew what was going on._

_He hadn't used this room since he was fourteen. Five years ago._

_His black half convinced the white half to get out of bed. Just one step in his room and he confirmed his thoughts. He was indeed back to where he was fourteen. Did that mean…_

_Zetsu charged down the stairs. Where was his parents? Zebomo and Kumori had to be alive. They just had to be. Please, he wanted to see them again._

"_Zetsu? Is that you?" Kumori called out when he reached his parents' room._

"_Mom? Is that really you?" Zetsu's heart leapt for joy. He charged over to her only to see her hold her snow-white hand up._

"_I'm sorry Zetsu honey, but don't come any closer." Kumori coughed into the blankets._

"_**Where's Dad?**__"_

_Zebomo slowly sat up in bed from the other side of Kumori. His jet-black skin showing a bit of sweat on his face._

"_What's __**going on?**__" Zetsu's voices were filled with fear._

"_I'm sorry to tell you this, but you can't come any closer." Even as she said this, she looked like she was in not only emotional but physical pain._

"_What do you mean I can't come any closer?!"_

"_You're to pack a bag of the most important stuff to you and then leave to the edge of the woods. Where the woodland area we live in meets with that of the Leaf Village." Zebomo commanded his son in a weak voice._

"_**You're coming too, right?**_" _Terrified didn't even come close to what he was feeling right now._

"_We can't." Kumori wiped a tear off her cheek. "You need to leave without us."_

"_Why?!"_

"_You need to meet up with other non-infected members and get out of here. They're leaving here at sundown."_

"_**Mom, you aren't telling us.**__ Why can't you come too?"_

_Zebomo removed a jet-black hand from underneath the blankets to show his beloved son, "We have been infected." The hand had a liquid on it that looked very similar to puss, but this was mixed in with something else that like many of the other members, was uncertain of what that was._

_That was when he noticed on his mother's stomach, she had welts forming. Just the slightest traces where already on her arms. "It's only a matter of time before we too die. There isn't anything we can do."_

"_Isn't there a cure?!"_

"_Everyone wants a cure, but it doesn't exist." Zebomo said, his head bowed._

"_**Can't I give you two one last hug?**__"_

"_To do so would put yourself at risk." Kumori wiped off more tears, "You must survive."_

"_Is Kola ok?"_

"_We don't know." Zebomo answered. "The puss is what some are beginning to think is the key to it being spread. Some even think at that point, it becomes airborne. No one knows for sure."_

"_**We're just supposed to leave you here to die?!**__"_

"_Yes." Kumori said without hesitation. "We will always love you, but you need to survive for us."_

"_Can I see if Kola's hasn't gotten it?"_

"_Just be careful. Give them the message of the movement. But if they too are sick, you must leave." Kumori looked him in the eyes, "Just be sure to say goodbye if so. It'll mean the world to her if she has gotten it too. Just don't touch anyone who is infected."_

_Zetsu wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes._

"_I love you. __**I love you**__." Zetsu repeated since both halves wished to tell them._

"_Goodbye. We love you." Kumori said. _

"_Don't worry, you'll always make us proud." Zebomo guaranteed. Kumori and Zebomo smiled one last time for their precious son. Zetsu in turn, did the same. Honest smiles filled with affection for one another._

_Zetsu darted up the stairs._

_

* * *

_

_Ding dong_

_Zetsu had just teleported from his room after his things were packed to the front of Kolima and Hakuno's tree. He tried to be as patient as he could, though it was hard knowing a mysterious illness was claiming his parents and the thought of Kola having it too was eating away at his nerves._

_The door slowly opened up. In front of him was the fourteen-year-old Haiku. "Hi Zetsu."_

"…_Hi…"_

"_What's the matter?"_

"_**Is Kola sick?**__"_

"_Not that I know of."_

_Zetsu let out a sigh of relief. "Good."_

"_Why?"_

"_**Our parents have gotten it…**__"_

_Haiku's eyes widened in alarm. "WHAT?!"_

_Zetsu explained what was going on to the young Uchiha._

"_You coming in or not? Kola's gotten ink pen all over herself so Kolima is getting it off with a good bath."_

_Zetsu followed her in. "__**That sounds like her.**__"_

"_Yeah. Yesterday she decided to have and unexpected paint fight. I think that's why I've still been finding little bits of paint in my hair all day today."_

_The two climbed up the stairs. "Kolima and Hakuno aren't sick are they?" Zetsu finally asked._

"_Not that I know of."_

_

* * *

_

_Kola wore a pout, "Mommy, my tummy hurts."_

_Kolima sent some chakra to Kola's abdomen where Kola was complaining of, "That's because you're on your first period."_

"_What's that?"_

"_Well… it's when you are no longer a little girl."_

"_Then what am I? A boy?"_

"_No silly. It means you have become a young woman."  
_

"_What happens and why does it hurt?"_

"_It means you start bleeding--"_

"_I used to bleed all the time! What so special about this time?"_

_Kolima took a deep breath and then let it out. "You're vagina starts bleeding once a month for a set amount of days in a row. That's when you could suffer from crapping, pain, or mood swings."_

"_What's mood swings?" Kola looked up innocently at her mother._

"_Like when you are perfectly happy and then you don't even realize you've started screaming at someone because now you're angry."_

"Ohhh…_ I think I get it."_

"_Good."_

"_But what's the good part about this 'period?'"_

"_Do you remember the story of how you came to be?"_

"_With the flowerpot, mommy seed, and daddy water?"_

_Kolima frowned for a brief second, though it was unnoticeable by her daughter who was so intent to find out as much as she could with her attention span that was most likely going to drift any minute now. "Yes. That."_

"_So what about it?"_

"_It means your seeds are able to be planted."_

"_I can grow a baby now?" Kola was jumping up and down._

"_But you aren't allowed to until you're married. And then, you can only do so with your husband."_

"_How does it work?"_

_Kolima frowned. "You get to ask your husband when you're older and ready for that kind of stuff."_

"_What do I do with the blood? Is it used to make the soil better for the baby plant?"_

"_When you start bleeding, I'll teach you how to use a pad."_

"_But why can't I know how to make the baby _now_?" Kola whined._

"_It's best if you don't know now."_

_Kola, for the first time, realized Zetsu and Haiku were in the same room as her for some time now. She didn't even realize they had overheard the whole thing. She ran over to the two. "Zetsu, do you know how to make the baby?"_

_Zetsu only blinked a few times._

"_Mommy, please tell me. Zetsu's my husband!"_

_Zetsu fought against and failed to control a blush that swept across his cheeks._

"_Kolima, Hakuno, Kola. Zetsu has something he needs to tell us." Haiku gained the attention of the others for her bi-colored friend. Zetsu explained and the decision was made that they would join Zetsu._

_Zetsu suddenly heard Nikku's voice cut through the memory. "How boring! At first it was great to watch, but then it was getting to happy."_

"_**Nikku?**__"_

"_Why don't we cut to something a little more entertaining and more heartbreaking."_

"_What's going on?"_

"I'm in control of your dreams tonight. I've decided to be nice and just let you relive you're memories for a while. You really should thank me."

"_For killing my clan? __**For even existing?**__"_

"_What about right here?"_

_

* * *

_

_Zetsu saw Kola and Haiku arrive in the area in which all the healthy members where to gather. Zetsu automatically saw their gloomy faces and lack of parents. "Where's Kolima and Hakuno? __**Why do you look so sad?**__"_

_Kola didn't speak._

_Haiku spoke after a moment of silence, "They discovered a black spot on each other. It was only one present on either one, but they were both three inches in diameter and started leaking a small bit of puss. They've been unknowingly infected."_

_Large tears rolled down Kola's face. Haiku looked like she was holding back the tears in order to try and support her adoptive sister._

"_I see…" Zetsu felt even more saddened by the day's events. First his parents and now Kola's parents had it. They were all leaving their beloved homeland to who knows where just to try and escape the illness._

_It was a half an hour of pure silence and more people gathering before the now large group headed off through the borders. The group wasn't that large compared to the total size of the Terra Clan, but it still contained at least seventy people. One by one, the members filtered through, but there were some who were unable. It was as if they hit an invisible wall. It was then determined that the borders weren't letting anyone who unknowingly had the disease through. Haiku was able to go through along with Zetsu, but Kola was somehow one of the nineteen that couldn't go through._

_Her eyes turned from that to shock, worry, and then terrified by the thought of being left behind by her dearest friend, her sister and also the fate of dying a slow and painful death. Zetsu and Haiku ran back in._

"_Haiku! I have it!" Kola was completely terrified._

"_What are we going to do?" Haiku asked Zetsu._

"_**We have to leave.**__ I'm sorry Kola."_

"_It was great knowing you." Kola bowed her head._

_Haiku thought for a little bit before making her decision. "You better go Zetsu. The other healthy ones are waiting for you."_

"_What about you?" Zetsu questioned._

"_I've decided even if it means the end of my life, I'm staying with my adoptive family."_

"_**How can you be so sure of this?**__"_

"_I'm not."_

"_Haiku, don't do this for me. Just leave with Zetsu and get out of here. Save yourself." Kola pleaded._

"_So long Zetsu. You've always been a great friend for us, especially Kola." A fat tear ran down her cheek. "But you need to promise me two things."_

"_What?"_

"_Never forget about us and secondly, if you find my parents…"_

"_I know I can't convince you to go, but what am I supposed to do if I find them? __**What if you die here?**__"_

"_Then tell them you knew me. Tell them of my decision to stay with my adoptive sister and parents. Send them my love."_

_Zetsu didn't know what to say. He only nodded his head. "I will."_

"_Just be careful. Just because you've been able to get out… I have a feeling it doesn't mean those who carry it on them, just waiting to get them sick out of the group."_

"_**It was great knowing you two.**__"_

_"Bye Zetsu." Both Kola and Haiku said at the same time. Both waving as the bi-colored fourteen-year-old left the mystical land of the Terra.

* * *

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**Author's Note: Yeah I know this one was a bit longer than usual, but I bet as readers, you didn't mind one bit if not the fact please you a bit. Sad huh? In the two nights I've wrote most of it, I couldn't help crying from what was going on in the nightmares. The writing for Kola's nightmare just made me smile though. Zetsu's and Haiku's were real tearjerkers for me… Am I just too emotional or was it indeed gloomy? Who knows, maybe I should try and cheer up from Haiku's proven appetite for her father's hair. I kinda forgot about that since I was too wrapped up in all the misery.**


	16. Chapter 16: Fido

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

**Haiku & Kola 2:**

**Relationship Problems**

**Chapter 16: Fido

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**Yes I know this one is early, but since my birthday is tomorrow, I wanted to treat you all. ^_^ Technically it's a double update for this week and there should be another one on the usual monday.  


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I had 'The Book' with me that way Kola wouldn't be able to spy like I'd imagine she'd do every single time Itachi and I are alone together. Zetsu was the only other one awake at this time so early in the morning after having bad dreams. We sat together in the library being sure Kola was still asleep and no one else was in the room. The library was soundproofed and just to be sure, I had the book opened up to a section so we could keep an eye on the still sleeping Kola. Both of us had already told the other what we had dreamed about.

"There's something going on, I just know it." I stated, crossing my arms.

"How else could we all have nightmares?" The black half added in, "**With Nikku in them.**"

"I don't know."

"**Neither do we.**"

"It couldn't be some kind of coincidence."

"He somehow must have been pulling the strings."

I quickly flipped back to the list of members while saving the place of where we were. "It says he's dead." I flipped back to where it showed what Kola was doing.

"**The Book keeps track of who's alive by their book.** Somehow he must have survived, but his book had been destroyed like all the others."

"At least he doesn't have a book to spy on us."

"**Like you are doing to Kola.**"

"Yeah, but if she found out about our suspicions, then there's no telling what she'd do. It's for her own good not to know anything about Nikku."

"True. I've been thinking… **Someone like him must have known there would be the possibility of it being destroyed so he would have learned all the jutsu and techniques he could.**"

"Knowing him though, he would have only chose those that he figured were strong enough to his likings, healing and ways to achieve his goals other than killing us all."

Mayhem snuck in to figure out what the two were up to. Both turned to face her. Sonya could only hope they figured she was just some cat and ignored her presence. That would mean she could spy so much easier.

I sighed when she just innocently sat down and watched us. "Sonya, we know it's you."

"**You can't keep such things** from us young shapeshifter."

"You might as well show your true form. No one else is awake."

Sonya turned back into her human form. She didn't look too pleased. "How'd you both know?"

"Our clan training has given us the ability to keep track of chakra signatures no matter how small or camouflaged they can be plus all kinds of things we can do that is exclusive to the clan." I quickly explained.

"How long have you known?" Sonya suspiciously questioned.

"Ever since you** first set foot here.**"

"Who else knows?"

I replied, "Zetsu and I of course, Kola and apparently Hidan."

"Did you tell anyone?"

"No."

"Why didn't you bust me earlier?"

"Didn't feel like it."

"Did you and Itachi have some kind of body switch lately?"

I rolled my eyes. "Kola's fault."

"Where you Itachi when Hidan found out?"

"Unfortunately I had to survive in that body at all, but yes."

"Why didn't you support Hidan in his accusations?"

I looked at her directly in the eyes, "It's a whole lot more entertaining for him to be titled as insane." I checked back in The Book.

"So, thanks."

"For what?"

"You know. I wouldn't be here or possibly dead if they found out."

"I doubt it."

"I'd be outnumbered."

"Knowing Deidara, if he got to you first, you'd be safe and free. Away from here and out of the wrath of the other Akatsuki."

"I have two questions for you, Haiku."

"What?"

"You have to answer truthfully and do as I ask."

I gave her a skeptical look.

"It's not much, no killing or attacking involved."

"What is it?"

"First, is this what you completely look like? I heard you used to have tanned skin and now you have pale skin like Itachi."

"Why? Do you want me to look exactly as I am supposed to?"

"Just for a little bit."

"If you really want me to." I put my palms together, a common Terra Clan way to concentrate, but it was only for about two seconds. "There."

"I see no difference."

"But there is."

"Ok, next one. Are you going to do it?"

"Depends on what it is."

"Let me see your right leg."

My eyebrow rose. "Why?"

"Just up to your knee."

"Why?"

"I've wanted to know for some time now."

"And that would be?"

"Who you are."

"I don't see why not. It's not like you'll be able to get the village to come and force me to come back." I showed my leg from underneath the table Zetsu and I were sitting at and pulled up my pant leg up to my knee. I let her get a good look at my birthmark before sliding back down the clothing.

Sonya smirked. "My suspicions were true."

"Who told you about my birthmarks?"

"It was in the birth records of the only other Haiku that was born in the Leaf Village."

"Who told you? The Old Man?"

"Sonya knows all."

"If you know so much, who are my parents?"

Sonya looked a little bit surprised as she added the last connection in. "Half Sotaki and half Uchiha."

"Their names?"

"Muki Sotaki and Madara Uchiha."

There was a silence. Sonya had a look of triumph. "Is it true your father could control the Nine-tailed Fox?"

"Sure. Fido was a great pet."

"What?"

"Fido, the Nine-tailed Fox's name in our household. Muki liked the name, so Madara decided that would be the official name."

"Could you?"

"I don't know, but I was able to beat it into submission when I was seven."

"How is that even possible? Only the Fourth Hokage could capture it and that cost him his life!"

Zetsu shook his slowly shook his head. "In our clan, **we are even better than your **_**village's**_** best. **Like Lady Tsunade is an amateur compared to our clan's healing abilities."

"Then how could you do so without dying?"

"Sonya, what kind of world do you live in? Isn't it depressing not knowing the full truth to life?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I was seven and Fido refused to tell me where my parents were, so after I beat him into submission, he told me where they headed off to, but of course, they had already long disappeared or changed course. He had no clue where they were headed."

"**Then the Fourth Hokage came **and sealed up the Nine-tailed Fox."

"It is impossible for a little girl who hasn't even become a ninja to accomplish such things."

"You're forgetting who my parents are and what kind of training I've had. Sure my training with my parents was incomplete, but I also got a lot of my training from Zetsu and Kola's clan."

"I think the credit of that **would go to your parents.** **What you learned from them is what you **applied to fighting this 'Fido.'"

"Yeah, you're right."

* * *

Kola broke through the silence at the dinner table. "Who here thinks Mayhem is actually Sonya in disguise?!"

Hidan's hand darted up, but he was the only one. His eyes narrowed at the other Akatsuki. Mayhem hissed at Hidan who was her left.

"Who here thinks Hidan has always been a lunatic and finally gone completely crazy?!"

Everyone raised their hands, even Mayhem. Pein stayed out of the vote, but no one could see Muki's hand, so she shoved a glove on really quickly and then allowed the Akatsuki to see a black leather glove floating in the air in the spot where no one apparently sat, but the ghost supposedly ate at. Muki had actually snatched one of Madara's gloves, but he couldn't do anything about it and it wasn't that much of a big deal, so it's not like he would risk getting banned to the couch and lose the privileges of holding Muki at night because she was cold.

The hands went down, but the immortal maniac's temper flared. "I'll fucken kill you!" Hidan had gotten abruptly up from his seat next to Mayhem (there was an empty spot before so it made Deidara happy for his cat to be able to fill the spot) and Kakuzu. He then jumped over the table when he had gotten between Sasori and Tobi. Kola's chair went sliding back quite a ways. Hidan was almost touching the table's edge, his hand tightly on his three bladed scythe, just barely puncturing Kola. Haiku on the other hand, was right between the two. She had a firm hand on the bar in between the handle of the scythe and the lowest blade.

Kola got away from the scythe, holding her arm and whining. Hidan tried pulling the scythe to him so he could begin his ritual. With her chakra, Haiku gathered every last drop of Kola's blood off the blade and tossed the sphere to Kola so she could deal with it. Kola just kept whining the whole entire time until her body healed the wound for her. Then she had nothing to complain about.

Hidan, completely enraged by Haiku getting in the way killing Kola, decided to kill Haiku in Kola's place. With one hand, he pulled out a short blade and positioned it right in front of Haiku's heart. Haiku had a good hold on Hidan's hand holding the blade and made sure he wouldn't be able to stab her.

The lights turned out. A pair of red sharingun eyes flickered on in the darkness. Most figured it was Itachi, but the problem was, the Uchiha hadn't made a single move. He still sat in his chair, while this one was clearly standing up and a little ways away. It sounded like a struggle, the air being forced out of one of them, the same one who had the air knocked out of them was being dragged out of the kitchen. "Kukuku." The lights went back on.

There were three people missing from this picture though the usual everyday person would only be able to pick out two. The most noticeable was Hidan. His two weapons were laying useless on the ground, Tobi was also gone, but the one person most wouldn't even notice was there was no Muki.

Haiku and Kola looked around in confusion just like everyone else as to what just happened. It didn't take long for Haiku to see how pointless it was since Hidan was going to suffer through his fate and she sat back down; eating her meal again. Everyone else seemed to mimic her thoughts. Just forget about it. He'll turn up eventually.

After dinner, Kakuzu headed toward his bedroom. He was right at the door of his room when he looked over his shoulder at the room straight down the hall, facing his door. Instead of going in his room, he decided to see if Hidan was in his.

Kakuzu knocked, but when no one answered, he slowly opened up the door. There in the dark, Hidan sat in a little corner, all huddled up. He turned on the light. Hidan flinched at the sudden light. If he at any point gave the impression to be some kind of bloodthirsty maniac before, now he looked like someone who should be locked up in an insane asylum, but only now, he didn't have that bloodthirsty edge to him. It was sad to see his partner in such a state of mind, it was almost depressing. From right behind him, "Kukuku."

Like a little cockroach might do when it is discovered and light floods the room, Hidan got up and rushed behind the desk. He heard it again, but it was closer to Hidan now. Hidan rushed to the only other room connected to his bedroom just like everyone else, and that happened to be the bathroom. As soon as the door shut, the door was flung open again and Hidan backed out of the bathroom slowly. Madara, wearing all black like a predator came out from the bathroom. Hidan seemed quite upset if not fearing for his immortal life. The door was shut on Kakuzu since he stayed out in the hallway the whole time. It wasn't long before he heard some blows being received, and then on the door was the impression of his partner's face. The pounding and cracking continued. More imprints of Hidan appeared on the outside of Hidan's room in the hallway. The door opened back up. Hidan's bloody corpse lay on the ground. There were multiple imprints of the religious bastard's face covering the inside of the door and there was most likely an untold amount more throughout the inside of the room. Madara came out. Kakuzu couldn't stop from looking at the eyes of the Uchiha's general long before the ninja villages were even created. His sharingun whirled and that was the last thing Kakuzu remembered. His mind was unknowingly erased and he was half dragged half carried to his room where he was put on his bed and then left alone. The two generals from years upon years ago had some dents to get rid of in Hidan's room. They made especially sure Hidan would remember what they had done to the Jashin follower…

* * *

A purr erupted in Sonya's throat. Deidara stroked her fur; he was close to falling asleep. Just like everyone else, Sonya and Deidara wondered what happened to the Jashin follower. To be honest, Sonya could really care less what happened to him as so long as she didn't have to be the one to deal with the immortal lunatic. Once was way more than necessary to have to torture him into talking by yourself. How in the world could Kakuzu manage to not snap his neck once every minute? In Sonya's eyes, it was a great accomplishment to not be completely overwhelmed by being anywhere closer than a mile just about every single day. Yet, Kakuzu was only a matter of feet away from him, not a mile.

Sonya had a mental image of Deidara's calendar she took a look at earlier when he wasn't in his room. Tomorrow was going to be the day she needed to leave this place. Sure she'd miss being around Deidara. One of the great reasons to be near him was he could always get that stubborn spot behind her ear. While a cat, Sonya could never quite manage to get rid of the itchy sensation right behind her ears. Most don't see why a cat likes being scratched behind the ears unless there are the few who have been a cat at one point or another.

Sonya pondered about what she was going to do when she got back to the Nara Ranch. She'd miss being with Deidara the most, but what was keeping her here? It wasn't like they were going to celebrate her birthday, so why stay? It may seem a bit selfish, but Sonya really didn't care, it was her eighteenth birthday and so she had to be home in order to celebrate it properly. From there, Sonya figured time would tell if she was going to try and get back into the Akatsuki. She'd also have to come up with a good explanation as to why go back… All that mattered at the moment was getting enough rest since she had a long way of travel back on foot, and by her estimations, she'd get back the day right before her birthday. The snow would be annoying, but there was no way Sonya was going to show up late for her own birthday celebration. Her parents most likely got her something they saw essential for becoming an official adult. It was possibly a house of her own since her parents were in charge of the clan and they'd expect she'd want to move out as soon as possible. Sonya was just like every other adult who wanted space from her parents. Sonya wasn't spoiled; she was just well taken care of. Yeah, that's all.

Sonya closed her eyes, curled up into a ball, her tail wrapping around her, tail tip touching her nose, right up against Deidara. He was her own personal heater, like an electric blanket, only better because this one stroked her fur. Oh yes, and took care of her like a beloved pet… well actually, even though she was regarded as a pet as Mayhem, he treated her like a person. No degrading comments or trying to get her to act like a dog and come when told.

* * *

A big portion of the Akatsuki sat at the table, eating breakfast. Kola looked around to make sure it would be a good time to have fun and spread another rumor or two. Good, very good. Just about all the Akatsuki were present except of course Itachi and Haiku. Aw, Tobi, Muki, and Pein weren't here… Oh well…

"Hey Kisame, have you heard yet?" Kola made sure everyone would be able to hear what was being said.

"Heard what?" Kisame asked.

"You know how Itachi and Haiku are dating…"

"Yes."

"We'll they decided last night after making the baby" Kola paused to make sure she had caught everyone's attention, "Itachi proposed to Haiku. And she said _yes_!"

"How do you know this?" Konan questioned.

"I have my sources." Kola folded her arms over her chest.

"How the hell are we supposed to trust what you say this time un?" Deidara remarked.

"You don't _have_ to trust me. I swear though, they are engaged."

At that point in time, Haiku and Itachi entered the kitchen. Haiku asked, "Who's getting engaged?"

"You know."

Haiku smirked, "You and Zetsu."

"What? He's just my friend!"

"Then who?" Haiku was looking in the fridge for something to eat since she wasn't in the mood for what everyone else was having.

"You."

Haiku looked at her sister, "I am?"

"Silly munch much! Stalker proposed!"

"Marriage? Itachi? No."

"Don't you remember, he proposed after you made the baby with him."

Haiku blushed, "Did not."

"You're blushing, that must mean you've done this on many separate occasions!"

"KOLA!!!"

"What? It's not my fault you're going to have to start taking care of a mini-stalker."

The blush intensified. The blush stood out especially well when the one blushing happens to have the pale skin of the Uchiha Clan. "I'm not pregnant!"

Kola slowly blinked a few times, "What's that? Zetsu tell me."

Zetsu thought over what to say before replying, making sure he'd say it in terms Kola would understand. "I occurs in only females when they are…" Zetsu had to rethink it over. "**They're going to be having the little one.** Ah yes. It hasn't been born yet, but it's still growing **and forming. Do you understand**?"

"_Oohhhh_, I get it now."

* * *

Deidara noticed Mayhem sitting right outside of the Akatsuki's Hideout. She turned her head to get a good look at him. With her tail, she beckoned him over. She was enjoying the pleasant breeze going by. He came over and patted her on the head. When he straightened back out, trying to see what she had been looking at, Sonya spoke with her human voice instead of her cat voice. "See ya."

"Ok un." Deidara didn't notice it was Mayhem that said it until she had gotten a few yards ahead of him. "Wait, where are you going?"

"It's easier to travel this way."

Deidara was speechless, this whole time, Mayhem was actually Sonya. That meant Hidan wasn't crazy after all…

* * *

Hidan was finishing up with breakfast. He was the only one left since he was too busy ranting to eat like everyone else. He heard one thing that made him shrink in his chair. Want to make him run and never look behind himself to see if they were following. "Kukuku." Right next to his ear.

The laughter kept growing more and more. Hidan's fear kept building up. He couldn't handle it anymore, he jolted out of his seat, grabbing his scythe and running for it.

"Kukukuku."

Author's Note: Poor Hidan. Whatever did he do to deserve such a fate? Eh, they've been simply waiting for the perfect excuse to make Hidan a new target, after all, he's immortal and he was going to try and kill their daughter. That sounded like a perfect excuse. Now whatever did he do to deserve such a fate…

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**^/_\^ ^_^ Have you noticed any strange things about Kola and how she understands life?  
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	17. Chapter 17: Kola's Theory: Making the Ba

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

**Haiku & Kola 2:**

**Relationship Problems**

**Chapter 17: Kola's Theory: Making the Baby

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**Author's Note: Thanks guys, my birthday was great. I'm actually 16 now, but I feel a bit ashamed all the sudden for being that age and not older. When Itachi was called over and he said stuff about Mayhem, it was Haiku. I know, it was hilarious about Hidan, but one of my friends really likes him and thankfully she hasn't read about it yet. ^_^ Sonya's a spy and so she doesn't like expressing her emotions too strongly. I'm sorry i don't have much written out about Kola and Zetsu. I'll do my best to write more about the two. Thanks for reviewing and giving me your support throughout this extremely long story.  
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Itachi was on his way back from sparing with Kisame in the training room when he stopped in the hallway, face to face with Haiku. He said the first thing that came to his mind, "Where are you going?"

She seemed to have been in deep thought because it was as if she didn't see him whatsoever. Haiku looked up the slightest bit so she was looking straight into his eyes, a slow smile appearing on her lips, "To see what you were up to."

"Why?"

A chakra thread anchored itself on either side of the walls on the hallway directly behind Haiku, completely unnoticed. "I'm bored." She replied.

The two could barely hear her voice, "Kukuku…"

Hidan came rushing out of the area where his and Kakuzu's room lie, doors facing one another at a distance. There seemed to be no time to react because just as they noticed him, Hidan shoved Itachi out of the way before continuing on his frantic rush away from who knows what. Itachi was shoved into Haiku, no having no balance, Haiku tripped on the chakra thread, back landing on the hard floor. The chakra thread snapped as soon as the combined weight of Haiku and Itachi hit it. Haiku's lips were now pressed up against Itachi's headband, right where the slash met the leaf symbol. Itachi on the other hand, had his lips on the front of her throat.

Kola who happened to decide to wonder the labyrinth since Zetsu had to deliver a quick message to Sasori who was on a mission. She munched away on a bag of marshmallows, fresh from the storage room, conveniently located nearest to Zetsu's room meaning they had first dibs on everything lying within the room, by her standards that is.

Kola saw them lying there in the middle of the hallway, her mouth dropped, a lucky marshmallow fell in the distance inbetween her tan fingers and her smooth lips.

Haiku and Itachi felt Kola's presence, hoping she either one, didn't see them, or two, saw everything so she'd understand what was going on, slowly looked over at Kola.

Her expression of shock gradually showed humor. She giggled, picked up the stray marshmallow, brushed it off, and then ate it. When she seemed to have let out the humor of the event, she seemed to have calmed, though Haiku and Itachi didn't move a single muscle. "How silly! Don't you two love-birds know better than to get ready to have sex in the middle of a hallway with others around who might see you?" She giggled again.

Itachi got up, lowering his hand to help Haiku up as well.

"Sorry for interrupting, but I'm just saying, why not save that until you go back to your guys' room?" Kola paused, "Well it's a great way for the two of you to get closer!"

"KOLA!!!"

With that, the two were both gone, Kola running away from Haiku… again.

He shook his head, hands in his pockets since he didn't have his cloak on and continued on his way. There was something strange about Kola, maybe he could find Zetsu… Itachi lowered his head in defeat, if only that was what they were going to do.

* * *

Zetsu looked up from his desk. He had been debating to himself matters of great importance. "Come in."

Itachi entered, softly shutting the door behind him. "Are you busy?"

"**Kind of.**"

"Can I talk to you?"

"About what?"

"Kola."

That drew the attention of both halves. Zetsu turned his chair so he could watch Itachi. "Go ahead. **Sit down wherever you wish.**"

Itachi took a seat on the couch. Zetsu soundproofed the room and then used a jutsu that was a mystery to him. He had no clue what it did. "What was the second jutsu for?"

Zetsu hesitated. "You are not to repeat it."

Itachi blinked. "I don't have my sharingan activated." He pointed out. After sparring, he had been feeling… tired. His sharingan felt like it was close to making him go blind faster than expected. He had to be more careful of when he was to use it. Save it for where it matters, not just because. Kisame had grown worried as usual.

"**Good. **Don't try and repeat it though. **Not unless one of us Terra members says so if you have learned it.**" Itachi nodded his head. "It prevents us from teleporting into the specified space. If Kola were to try, she'd appear outside of the room.** I could do more, but I know she'll get the picture not to enter without knocking first.**"

Itachi nodded his head in understanding.

"So what is it you want to know?"

"Why is it Kola is so blunt about sex and even encourages it out in the open, but would whisper 'making the baby' on some occasions. It is as if she's mystified by it."

Zetsu sighed. "**This is what you came to ask us about?**"

"Yes."

"Simply put, Kola believes the two are completely separate things."

Itachi had a confused look.

"She knows a little bit about sex, though she doesn't know what happens during sex. Nothing about getting pregnant. That's why she didn't know what that meant." Zetsu paused, "**Her mother didn't tell her much about making the baby. They say it was for my own safety if she didn't know.**"

"Your safety?"

"Yes, they knew if she knew how to 'make the baby' then she'd want to have many many children. She'd do so with the person closest to her. **Us.**"

"It can't be all that bad."

"You don't know Kola as well as you think you do. Since we're both immortal, she'd most likely want to have a set of kids once a year and demand to have thousands. Enough to outmatch the entire clan from her own offspring."

Itachi twitched.

"Anyway… **After piecing together the little Kolima, her mother, said and her own imagination, she came up with a very strange way.** Instead of telling the young, they were carried to their families by a stork, our clan says we were grown from trees and to the trees we shall return. That's one reason why the adults tell the children why everyone in the clan lives in trees. **She believes in the vagina, lay seeds. Seeds to grow plants that then grow children. She thinks the male somehow helps retrieve a seed and puts it into a flowerpot.**" Zetsu paused. "In her mother's terms, the male sprinkles the 'Daddy Water' on it to make it grow. **If that doesn't happen, then periods occur to provide new nutrients carried by the blood to the seeds. The 'watered' seed in the flowerpot sprouts in the soil and starts to grow, but must be 'watered' time after time until a child comes from it and the plant itself disappears, so for more children, more seeds would have to be planted.** Lastly, she thinks that somehow, the couple gets pleasure from this."

"Then when she says 'remember to use protection,' how is that possible in her theory?"

"Putting it into some enclosed container so it won't get 'watered.'"

"Why does she encourage sex?"

"**She thinks that's how two show how close they are. **A very strong affection."

"With that way of thinking, is she even a virgin?!"

"**Yes.** She told me once, she'd only want to do that with me." Zetsu's shell closed in order to hid the blush that had been slowly getting darker with every minute during the talk of sex and 'making the baby.' It was now a deep cherry red.

"Thank you Zetsu. I understand now."

"**Is that all you wished to ask?**"

"Why does she always wear that dark purple zip up jacket with the hood?"

"Because she can. **She just likes wearing it.** I personally haven't seen her without it ever since our paths have crossed again."

"Bye Zetsu. See you at dinner."

Zetsu's shell opened back up, his face now back to normal. "Come back whenever you want." He undid the two jutsu.

Just as Itachi was leaving the room, he found himself face to face with Kola. "There you are Stalker! I thought you might want this for later!" Kola handed Itachi a plastic resealable container. "I hope it's the right size… I don't know how big it has to be…"

"What for?"

"Protection!"

"Um… thanks?"

* * *

I stirred the soup in the big shiny steel pot. No, I'm not making Mom's recipe soup, lack of hair and not wanting Itachi to look like he's about to faint just because of a missing low ponytail. Some were sitting at the table, waiting for dinner to be ready even though it isn't anywhere close to being done. But I think most were at the table just because it was a good location in the base to visit with the other Akatsuki members.

Kisame came up to me, "Hey, Haiku."

"Hn?"

"Sorry to bug you in the middle of cooking, but I'm just a little bit worried about Itachi."

"What about him?"

"I know he wouldn't want me to be bringing up this topic with anyone, but…"

"What is it?"

"I'm worried, that's all. I think it might be because of those crazy eyes of his."

"What'd they do?"

"He got more tired than usual during sparing with me. He even called it off earlier than usual."

"He seemed fine when I ran into him."

"Do you know what it's going on?"

"I know you're like his older brother, always looking out for him. It's great that you do that and care so much about him and his well being." I smirked. "It's hard not to when you deeply care about that person. You have a brotherly love, while my love for him is a bit different…"

"I know where you mean, but where are you going with this if you don't mind me asking. I just really want to know if he'll be ok…"

"Huh? I was just going to say it's fine to be worried about that Uchiha." I set the long wooded spoon down next to the stove. "He's going blind."

"I know that, but why is he suddenly tired?"

"It's his eyes telling him they're worn out. He's very close now to becoming blind."

"Is there anything you can to do about it?"

"I'll take a look." I turned the burner down to a simmer to make sure it wouldn't burn and placed the lid over it. It didn't need tending to for a few hours now that it was at this point. Maybe a stir every now and then.

"Thank you."

"It's no problem."

* * *

Kisame and I entered Itachi's room. Itachi lay silently in bed, sleeping away the afternoon. He must really be tired!

Kisame whispered, "I'm going to get going. Maybe you should come back later."

"I'll wait for him to wake up."

"What about your soup?"

"It'll be fine for a few hours."

* * *

Muki stole a few locks of Madara's hair as he sat at the kitchen table. She cut the strands up and added more ingredients to Haiku's soup. It had been a while since she had made some good hair soup.

Madara wore a frown from underneath his orange mask. The disgrace!

Muki snipped away more of his precious ebony locks to add to the soup.

Madara's frown deepened.

* * *

Itachi opened up his eyes. He sat up and immediately noticed Haiku sitting on the couch reading the huge leather book. "What are you reading?"

"I heard about your eyes giving you problems." Haiku didn't look up from the book.

"Are you waiting for me?"

"Yes."

"Hn. For what?"

"For starters, dinner is almost ready. Secondly, I need to take a look at your eyes if you don't mind."

Itachi was silent.

"We all knew it was going to happen sooner or later."

"What are you going to do?"

"Check to see how close you are to going blind and then come up with a plan to fix your eyes."

"Will I still have the sharingun?"

"But of course."

"What would you do if I went blind?"

"Work faster to get your sight back."

"Hn."

"Don't worry, if I can't get it right, then I always have a plan b. Kola wouldn't mind one bit."

"To do what?"

Haiku smiled, "The Life Tree."

"Life Tree?"

"Yeah, ours is a Firebrand Life Tree. The only one of it's kind even when their were other members. They were completely terrified to use fire, except me and so then Kola became fine with it."

"Life Tree huh."

"We all have one. Twins, triplets so on and so forth all share one tree. Kola was the one who had one, but since I was adopted and then the two of us were classified as twins, we got to share one."

"What did everyone else have?"

"Whatever it is that they worked best with. They're personalized I guess you could call it. If you don't take care of it, you end up getting a… I guess you could call it a death tree. It's not quite like that though. It no longer cleans up the surroundings or anything like that. It does nothing for its surroundings, good or bad. Well, it's just strange. I don't quite know what it does, but I really do feel sorry for the tree."

"How big is it?"

"It is born when the wielder of it is born and it just keeps growing from there."

"What kind of tree do you and Kola have?"

"I told you, the Firebrand Life Tree."

"What's it like? Big, small, pine needles…?"

Haiku cracked up laughing.

"What?"

"It's not necessarily big, but it definitely isn't small."

"Then what is it?"

"Huge. Giant. Monstrous."

"How big are we talking about? The tree size that the clan lives in?"

Haiku burst up laughing again.

"What?"

"Those are midget compared our life tree!"

"How could it help me?"

"The fruit off of our life tree is what would help you. Since there are two of us, there are two different fruits. Kola's and mine. Kola's is the one that will be able to help you if I can't do so on my own."

"What does hers do?"

"It heals any illness."

"Blindness is an illness?"

"Well that's the thing, it heals everything. Cuts, scrapes, burns, inability to see, hear or speak, every sickness and disease on the face of the Earth except one."

"What about if you're dead?"

"I'm sorry to say, but when you're dead, you're dead. Our clan doesn't allow the members to bring others back to life."

"If I were to die?"

"I'd do everything in my power to make sure you aren't the one to die. Even if I had to die in your place."

"Why?"

"Love makes people do all sorts of things. Even ending ones own life in the place of the person they love."

"Aren't your parents immortal?"

"Yes."

"Wouldn't you be?"

"I'd rather not test the theory. I've never died before. Trying to see if I was would be a bad thing if I didn't come back to life."

"Wouldn't your parents at least know?"

"Might. When I was little, there's a good reason why Muki was the one who did the cooking when there were guests over."

"Why? Is she a really good cook?"

"She can get by. If she's familiar with the recipe, then she can do it, but for a new one, someone has to be there to guide her through it."

"But then why not let Madara cook?"

"The people that come and he did the cooking, well… let's just say no one saw them again."

"What'd he do?"

"Unless they mean a lot to Madara, Muki or I, then they'd be safe. Madara has a nasty habit of adding poison to the food. One has to keep a close eye on him when cooking, though I think by now, he's gotten out of that habit."

"Did he ever accidentally poison you before?"

"Dunno. I was young when I lived with them."

"What does your fruit do?"

"Uh…"

"What?"

"Why don't we go to the kitchen now?"

"But what does it do?"

"Uh oh, I forgot the soup's still cooking!" Haiku teleported.

Itachi narrowed his eyes. What was she trying to hide?

* * *

I appeared in the kitchen right next to the stove. I quickly stirred it around to make sure it didn't burn. Well, that's good, but that's strange… I stared intently into the liquid with my now activated sharingun. Muki must have messed with it because now it's hair soup. I smiled, then she must have used Dad's hair. It's been a while since I've had her hair soup.

My mind went back to the fruit of our Life Tree. Kola's bananas that cure all and my green apples that give immortality. After eating the my apple of immortality, then when the person dies, it makes the body be healed of whatever it was that killed them in the first place that way they don't continue to die over and over again. That is, if I'm immortal, then it really does give immortality. I shouldn't let anyone know what it does or else they'd do anything to get their hands on them.

* * *

We were now all sitting down for dinner. Hidan was the first to break the silence. He furiously spat, "Why are you so fucken perfect?! Why is your whole entire fucken god forsaken clan so powerful and fucken perfect?!"

I took a sip of water, "We're anything but perfect."

"Yes you fucken are!"

Kola tilted her head to the side, "Are you jealous of us?"

Kakuzu sighed, "He's just annoyed how it seems you are all unbeatable."

"The truth is munch much our clan elders decided a long time ago that it would be best to keep the ancient knowledge and abilities possessed only by our clan safe and with only us by doing their best to make it impossible to imprison us and force one of us to talk by some way or another. So they messed around with genetics to make us stronger and possess more chakra than the usual person possesses. Being very knowledgeable was something that was already present in the clan along with tan skin and brown, wavy hair. It's like the Uchiha, they have their own clan traits just like us except they have pale skin, sharingun, and ebony hair." Kola giggled, "You do know I'm smarter than I appear."

"She does that because she feels like it. Being wise may run in the clan, but seriousness does not. They are really a bunch of goofballs in their spare time just because they can be that way when they aren't needing to be serious for work, learning, doing experiments and stuff like that." I took another drink from my glass.

"Is the secrets of your clan that important?" Kisame asked.

I grabbed my spoon and dipped it into the soup, "You have no idea what we know. In fact, you've only been able to barely scratch the surface of what the clan really knows."

"But why are you so damn perfect?!" Hidan complained.

"No one said we were munch much." Kola giggled.

"For starters, I'm far from perfect." Haiku admitted.

"How Haiku-chan?" Tobi innocently questioned, though he was shocked to hear such words from his own daughter's lips.

"Being raised in a messed up household is one part of it." I paused, meeting my father's gaze, "Being surrounded by constant attempts at my life and then being separated from my parents is another part. Then spending a large portion of my life with her" I pointed at Kola who was making funny faces with Zetsu so she wasn't paying attention to the conversation, though I said it in a non-degrading manner, "is another."

"How is living with Kola make you like that?" Sasori patiently questioned.

"Not only was I expected to learn everything Kola was to learn, being classified as her twin, but even a little bit more, being the victim in her and Zetsu's game of shark attack in a sea of stuffed animals for many years, and then facing another major tragedy which I'd rather not talk about."

"How about Kola?" Kisame asked.

I sighed, since both Kola and Zetsu weren't involved in the conversation, I had to deal with all the questions. "There are some things that only Kola and I know and it isn't my place to speak of such things. If she wishes those she knows to also know of these, then she'll speak of them herself. Knowing her, she'd most likely be showing them off."

"Haiku. I've been wondering for a while now, why it is that you haven't slashed your headband un. Kola doesn't wear one, but you do."

I brought my hand up to feel my headband, "I'll slash it myself when I decide to."

"What are you waiting for un?"

My eyes drifted off to Itachi for a brief amount of time. Deidara immediately noticed it. "If you love him, why not stay with him for good un?"

* * *

**Author's Note: Well that sure does shed some light on how Kola thinks. It would also explain her reactions to 'making the baby' and sex. Deidara does have a good point though… Why not stay with the one Haiku loves for good and have her headband slashed? What do you think? ^_^ Haiku now isn't afraid I guess you could call it to say she loves Itachi.**


	18. Chapter 18: Haiku's Decision

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

**Haiku & Kola 2:**

**Relationship Problems**

**Chapter 18: Haiku's Decision

* * *

**

**Author's Note: I'm glad everyone is liking this very long story. I like working on it. ^_^**

**blaze : after eating the apple, say you die of poisoning. You'll come back to life, but before you do, your body will get rid of the poison while you're unconscious. Once that's taken care of, you'll wake back up. The more times you're died, the quicker and easier it is for your body to come back to life. Does that help at all? Just let me know if it doesn't.**

**

* * *

**

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!" A wail of a baby pierced the darkness.

Itachi two-finger poked Haiku on the cheek, disrupting her from her slumber. "You're turn."

Haiku turned her back to him, "No, it's your turn." she mumbled, still half asleep and unwilling to fully wake up.

"I got up last time."

"Liar." Haiku yawned.

"Hn. I'm not."

"You were sound asleep last time, so I got up on your turn."

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!"

"Can't we just ignore him? Someone else will stop him."

"You'd be a horrible parent."

"No I won't."

"Just ignore the baby in distress."

"I'd be a good father."

"I'm finding that hard to believe right now."

Itachi snaked his arm around Haiku's waist and pulled her closer to him. "It's just not mine."

"Urg, Itachi! It's your turn and that's that."

"Like I said, your father acting like an idiot isn't my child." Itachi pulled Haiku even closer and whispered in her ear, "But I'd love to father your children."

A shiver ran down her back. She pried his hands off her waist and separated herself from him. From there, she got out of bed and left the room in a big hurry.

Itachi's raised his eyebrow. 'Did I say something wrong?'

* * *

Deidara sleepy eyed and in a pair of boxers and a fishnet top managed to haul himself out of bed to shut the idiotic partner he had up. He had just about completely fallen asleep when the brat decided to start wailing… AGAIN!

Right when Deidara was to go through the kitchen in order to get to the living room, he bumped into Haiku who also had her hair down. It didn't quite feel right for the other Akatsuki members to see him without a ponytail. His hair was a mess! Haiku had looked like she had been sleeping for a whole lot longer than he was, though it was 11:00 PM, but unlike Deidara, Tobi didn't have a mission to go on. Leader-sama had finally given him a break and so Deidara got to go on a mission with just Sasori-dana; a gift from heaven.

"Is that what you sleep in?" It took Deidara a while to realize what Haiku was wearing.

"Yeah, so?"

"But those are--"

"I haven't worn pajamas in years."

"Don't you have any un?"

"Yes, but it doesn't mean I'm not going to be lazy and not wear them."

"But--"

"I can do as I wish."

Deidara just couldn't believe Haiku slept in her usual clothes. Sure she changed them, but still! The only thing she did was remove her ninja stuff including pouches and headband, let her hair go as it wished. "Doesn't Itachi think it's strange for you to sleep in those clothes?"

Haiku yawned, "He never voiced his opinion on the matter."

"WWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!"

Deidara and Haiku stopped right at the open entrance to the living room.

"DEIDARA-SEIMPA!!!" Tobi wailed.

"Didn't I tell you to not watch movies that'll scare you un!"

"IT'S NOT THAT DEIDARA-SIEMPA!!"

"Then what is it?! Some of us want to get some sleep around here un!"

"TOBI GOT IT STUCK AND KONAN'S NOT HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!"

Deidara was speechless. Haiku on the other hand had just about fallen back asleep where she stood. She was still listening to what was going on, though she felt quite used to hearing such things from her parents.

"Tobi, just push it in." Konan sounded like she was getting a slight bit impatient with the masked man.

"BUT TOBI DOESN'T WANT TO!! TOBI JUST WANTS IT OUT!!!!!"

"Tobi, just stop. You'll break it."

"HELP DEIDARA-SIEMPA!!!"

"What the hell is going on un?!" Deidara ran into the living room to see what in the world was going on. He completely caught off guard, expecting something completely different going on in the darkness of the living room with the only light being the soft flicker of the TV.

"It's a Chinese Finger Trap and Tobi keeps wanting to pull his finger out instead of just pushing it in." Konan looked annoyed.

Tobi sounded like he was pouting. "But then it'll get even more stuck."

Deidara helped to get Tobi to just push his finger in to meet Konan's fingertip in order to finally get it off.

"Have you seen where Itachi went?" Konan asked the blond.

"I think he went back to sleep un." Deidara answered.

Konan was thinking.

"Do you need me to do something for you before I get back to sleep?"

"I sensed Haiku's chakra signature coming into the kitchen with you. Can you give this to her to give to Itachi?" Konan handed over a scroll.

"Sure un."

THUD

Tobi got up and rushed over to the sound in a playful manner. "Deidara-siempa, Tobi found Haiku-chan!"

Deidara took his time going over to where the one who woke most of them up in the first place knelt, poking the Uchiha woman's face. "What happened un?"

"Haiku was apparently very sleepy and then fell asleep while standing up. Then she go THUD!" Tobi rolled her over onto her back. Sure enough, she was sleeping away, no injuries whatsoever. In fact, she seemed to be at peace while she slept despite falling onto the wood planked floors. Tobi copied Itachi and poked her with two fingers.

Haiku slowly opened her eyes, apparently still half dreaming. "What now Itachi?" Haiku's eyes had shut; not even recognizing who it was next to her.

"Haiku, it's Tobi."

Haiku's hand reached up, grabbing ahold of his mask when the palm of Tobi's hand softly hit Haiku's forehead. She woke up, releasing her grip on her father's mask. Tobi had already activated his sharingan in case if he had to wipe Deidara's memory of the event. It's such a great, easy way to deal with such problems.

"Why are you so sleepy un? Is it linked to why Itachi's also tired?"

"Kinda."

"Did you two--" Deidara was cut off.

Tobi tensed up. If the answer was yes, then the Uchiha was going to suffer worse than a coma...

"No. He's tired and needs the sleep and since I've had nothing better to do, I figured I might as well catch up on my sleep, but it's been a while ago since I made that choice." Haiku got up.

"Give this to Itachi." Deidara handed over the scroll.

Haiku took it. She briefly read through it in the dark with the use of her sharingan. "I'll be sure to make sure he's awake by then." She gave Tobi a hug. "Good night."

"Good night Haiku-chan!"

* * *

Tobi entered his bedroom. Muki got up from her spot on the edge of the bed, arms crossed and looking pissed off. She simply pointed to the couch.

"But I didn't do anything. I just got here."

"I heard what you were doing with that bitch, Konan."

"It was just a finger trap."

"So you were fingering her then." She pointed to the couch again.

"I wasn't!"

She looked hurt, "I guess I'll really have to elope with the other Incompetent Ass."

* * *

"Haiku? Is that you?" Itachi sat up in the darkness. He refrained from using his sharingan.

"Yes. You have a mission with Kisame tomorrow."

"What time?"

Haiku handed him the scroll, "It says the two of you are leaving at 5 am."

"That early?"

"Yes, but when can I take a look at your eyes?"

"In the morning."

"I won't be able to have enough time to treat your eyes."

"But I don't think you'd be able to concentrate long enough with you being so tired."

"Good point."

"I'll be fine anyway."

"I'm still going to at least see how long it is until you do go blind so you won't be caught off guard when it happens."

"Sounds good to me."

* * *

Itachi was all ready to go on his mission when his eyes rested on the still sleeping figure of Haiku. He could feel his already tense muscles relax at the sight of her in such a peaceful state. Now that he thought of it, there was only another five minutes before Kisame was going to leave his room own room. Knowing him as well as Itachi did, Kisame would first check to see if he was in his room so they could walk together, or else he'd just wait near the exit.

Itachi tossed his cloak back onto the couch and crawled back onto the bed. He lifted Haiku up into a sitting position. She mumbled, "Is it time to get up?"

"I'm going to be leaving soon."

He could feel her stretching out in his arms. She rubbed her eyes once, and then surprisingly looked fully awake for once. Usually it took at least two minutes, not fifteen seconds.

Haiku positioned herself so she was now looking straight at him. "Ready for me to look at your eyes?"

Itachi tenderly kissed her on the lips, "Go ahead."

Haiku activated her sharingan, having it on the fifth level. She felt like she might need to use it.

Itachi sat and patiently waited as she looked into his eyes, switching from one eye to the other. He became captivated by her obsidian eyes, so alike to his own, yet few could read his emotions from his eyes alone, yet Haiku's was just the opposite. Uncaring if people could tell she was happy, sad, bored or whatever emotion she was feeling for the most part. If she didn't want those to know, then she could hide it, but other than that, plain and simple, she didn't care.

Right now, Itachi could tell she was deeply concerned with what she was learning of his eyes. There was no doubt she deeply cared about him. "Well?"

"I'm sorry," Itachi could tell she really meant it. "but by my calculations, you'll go blind if you try and use your sharingan if used once maybe twice more."

"Why are you sorry?"

"I won't be able to treat you before your mission." Kisame knocked on the door.

"I'll be fine." Itachi paused, eyes narrowing on the door as Kisame knocked again. Itachi would much rather stay with Haiku than go on a mission, but orders are orders. He had nothing against his partner anyway. "Come in."

Kisame stepped inside. "Almost ready?"

"Yes." Itachi got back up, grabbing his cloak and hat.

"You better let me know if I'm needed."

"I'll be fine."

Itachi saw the red crane he had placed on the desk before his sparing match with Kisame fly over to him, hiding into his hair. "You might need it." Haiku got up and gave Itachi a hug, "Just be careful."

Kisame chuckled.

Haiku sounded even more worried. "Don't use your sharingan."

"Unless I really need to." Itachi added on.

* * *

The Naras sat at the table, eating breakfast.

"Is Sonya going to come back in time for her birthday in two days?" Shikamaru asked his parents. He really did miss his older sister.

His father replied, "Of course she is. We all know her. She'll come where her birthday is being celebrated and spend time with the family."

"This is also the age range your Great-Great-Great Grandfather estimated that she'd be just like every other shape shifter in the family and decide to wander about and explore the world before choosing were to permanently settle." Shikamaru mother sighed.

"What a drag!" Shikamaru exclaimed.

* * *

At this exact time, Sonya was sitting down in the Hokage's Office...

"Were you ever discovered during your mission?"

Sonya messed around with the necklace she wore, a present from her great-great-great grandfather for her birthday before he passed away. "Yes, but not by those who it would matter."

"Who?" Saritobi looked through the report she had handed him.

"Zetsu, Kola and Haiku. They promised not to tell; I know their word is good. Hidan found out, but was then labeled as a lunatic when he tried telling the others."

"You found the two missing healers?"

"Yes."

"Was there anyway you could get those two out of there?"

"No. The Akatsuki would automatically notice and come looking for them."

"Hm…" The Hokage looked through the papers again.

"I did find out who Haiku is."

"How?"

She smirked. "Sonya knows all."

"Who are her parents?"

"She was adopted by Kola's parents after she was separated from her original parents, Madara Uchiha and Muki Sotaki."

The Old Man's jaw dropped.

"Sonya knows all." She forced herself to stop playing with the lavender crystal. "I think I'll try and re-infiltrate the Akatsuki after I spend some time with my family."

"What for? To get Kola and Haiku?"

"My report is lacking data. It would be more useful if I were to get more info by going back into the Akatsuki's base."

"Ok then. If I don't see you by then, happy almost eighteenth birthday."

Sonya smiled. "Thank you."

"Everyone would want to spend their birthday with family, it's only natural you decided to come back."

"If that's all, I'm going home."

* * *

The Naras were just finishing up for dinner when there was a light knock followed by the door creaking open. "I'm home!" The door shut again.

Shikamaru looked towards the door and watched his sister sit at the table with them. "About time you came home!"

Sonya smirked. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Just one more day until your eighteen." Shikamaru paused, "Waiting is such a drag."

"Do you want what we had?" Their mother asked.

"Sure." Sonya got up and poured herself a glass of milk.

* * *

I got in the shower, letting the warm water pour down my body. I stood there with my back to the shower head, letting my hair get completely soaked.

Hn. How was Itachi and Kisame's mission going?

* * *

Itachi and Kisame walked in the light mist; snow crunching at every step; the bell ringing occasionally. They were somewhat close to the Leaf Village, but their mission wasn't to do with the village, but with a small town nearby. One of Sasori's spies had gathered information on Orochimaru's whereabouts, but Sasori was on a mission of his own, so Pein had sent Itachi and Kisame to go talk to him instead.

* * *

Zetsu walked down the hallway to his room. He decided he was going to take a shower. His hand grasped the doorknob. Walking in, he spotted Kola changing in the middle of the bedroom. Zetsu retreated from the room, closing the door. After much thought and debate among himself, he used his black hand to cover his eyes and came back into the room.

"What are you doing Zetsu?" Kola asked. Judging by her voice, she was sitting on the bed now.

"Going to take a shower." He headed over to the bathroom.

"Why are you covering your eyes?"

"**You're changing.**"

"I am?"

"You were."

"But now I'm not." He heard her zip up her jacket. "Why would you have to shield your eyes even if I was?"

Zetsu entered the bathroom. "**Because.**"

"_Ohhh_."

* * *

Kisame swung Sharkskin at the Leaf Ninja that had them surrounded and completely outnumbered. All of these ninja were very talented and strong for that matter. They just won't die!

Itachi found himself becoming battered by all of the attacks. He just couldn't see the attacks coming soon enough to avoid without his sharingan. He was too used to using the sharingan, but Haiku said not to use it…

Kisame noticed Itachi being backed up to a giant tree, ninja separating the two Akatsuki members. He did his best to try and get closer to Itachi so he could help him out. Itachi was like a little brother to him.

Itachi convinced himself he really needed to use his sharingan. If he didn't use the Tsukuyomi then he'd be fine, right? It would be better than being killed.

The sharingan made it a whole lot easier for him to evade the attacks of the Leaf Ninja. He was even able to take out a few of the ninja, but then the afternoon light seemed to fade. Then he was standing in pitch-black darkness. His sharingan deactivated, and there was nothing he could do to see. "Kisame." He gulped.

"What is it?" Kisame was still intent on killing the ninja around them.

"I-I can't see."

Kisame turned around to see his eyes, to make sure Itachi wasn't just messing around, even though Itachi wouldn't mess around about such things. His partner was indeed blind now, unable to protect himself.

Itachi wasn't used to fighting without sight. There was nothing the Uchiha could do, but make sure they didn't hit anything that would cause his death.

Kisame summoned more water clones into the fight. He had to make sure neither him nor his partner were to die.

Itachi was completely terrified. His trembling hands found the crane in his hair. He had to at least try and get a hold of Haiku.

* * *

Haiku just finished combing her now dry hair out and putting it into a ponytail when she felt Itachi trying to get a hold of her through crane. "Yes?"

"Haiku, I need your help."

Haiku brought a bunch of cranes to life, helping her grab what she needed. "How can I help you?"

"I'm blind."

"What?!"

"I know you can see with the cranes, is there anyway you can have this crane do the same for me? Just for this mission?"

"Were are you?"

Itachi gave the directions to where he was.

"I'm coming as fast as I can, but for now, the crane will help protect you the best it can."

"I love you."

"I love you with all my heart Itachi."

* * *

Muki and Madara were walking from Hidan's room, when they could see Itachi's room. Haiku came hoping out of the door, trying to get a shoe on while running down the hallway. Cranes following her, picked up the stuff she was dropping, including her headband. They could already see her hair getting long and spiky. Her hair tie came out causing her hair fall to her back.

"Kukuku, a Protective Inner Madara."

"Protective of who?" Madara growled.

"Itachi."

"How could you know that?"

Muki smirked. "He's the only one not here that she deeply cares about."

Madara's fingers curled into a fist.

"Wouldn't you consider it to be love?"

"I'll kill him." Madara's threat was low and ominous.

"She won't forgive you if you do."

"…"

"You'll have to let go eventually."

"Over my dead body."

"Are you so unwilling in the matter because she's your daughter or is it something more? Is it because he's her Incompetent Ass?"

Madara's posture went completely rigid.

"Kukuku…"

* * *

A kunai was aimed right at Itachi's neck. Kisame failed to block it with Samehada since there were so many directions he had to block and the last of his water clones had disappeared.

The crane got in the path of the kunai and with a blast of chakra, veered it off course. Another kunai came from the other side, but a figure in black clothing grabbed it in midair. "Touch him and you die." The figure growled.

Kisame knew the voice, it was Madara, but since when did Madara want to make sure Itachi was safe? Then he looked closely, this was a female version of him, a bit smaller for one and it had the chakra signature of Haiku. Unexpectedly, the spikes curled. "Itachi, are you ok?" It was now Haiku's voice.

There were a few snickers among the Leaf Ninja. They attacked nonetheless, only to be consumed by black flames. The metal fans Haiku possessed, instead of being surrounded by the usual fire, it was the Amaterasu instead. These flames are impossible to be quenched because no matter what happens to the flames, they stay burning until whatever it is they were burning are completely out.

One opened fan was thrown at an advancing ninja, lodging into their throat. She pulled out the fan, cleaning it of blood, and closing both up. She put the fans away only to use a kunai she had caught to kill each and every ninja that threatened Itachi.

It wasn't long before all the ninja had been killed. Haiku turned around, helping Itachi up.

"What are you?" Kisame was puzzled. "I've seen the 'Inner Madara' but what is that one?"

"Protective Inner Muki and Madara." Haiku went back to normal, except now she needed a haircut. "Are you ok Itachi?"

"You just killed your own comrades."

"I warned them."

"But if they find out it was you who killed most of them, then you'd be considered a rouge."

A strand of hair curled, "They were a bunch of bastards."

"But what about the village? Isn't that your home?"

"Hn. That's not my home anyway." Haiku paused. "I've made my decision though."

"What decision?"

"I'm going to be a rouge so we can stay together." Haiku used a chakra dissection blade to slash her headband into a perfectly straight line.

"You're throwing your life away!"

"It's my decision. I'd rather stay with you than live in the village filled with a bunch of perverts and closet perverts who are worse than regular perverts."

"Haiku, are you sure?" Kisame asked.

"Of course I am."

* * *

Itachi felt Haiku push him slightly to signal to sit down. He was surprised to find a soft surface, his bed. "Back already?"

"Yeah. The sooner the better since your mission is done."

"What are you going to do?"

"Hold still, I need to take a look at your eyes."

Itachi felt Haiku's fingers on his face. It didn't take anything for him to know she was looking straight at him. "How hard will it be to fix my eyes?"

"I'm pretty fast and it's relatively easy to heal, but the eyes are something I'm not that skilled in. Don't worry, I'll find a way to make sure you'll be able to see."

"That's good." Itachi paused "It's hard to imagine you used to do this for six months with a blindfold on."

"After a while, you get used to it. Proper training on how to fight without sight also helps."

"I heard what you and Kisame said."

"What?"

"How a protective Inner Madara and Muki got unleashed."

"That's the first time it has happened. A blending of the two not to mention having it be protective on top of it."

"How is it possible?"

"You've talked to them before when we swapped bodies."

"But the Inner Madara wants me dead."

"That's just what it wants you to think. For starters, it being unleashed means he wants to keep you safe. Then Muki was also unleashed showing they both want you safe."

"Hn."

"Hn?"

"Nothing."

Itachi felt Haiku's fingers leave his face. He sensed her move across the room, flipping through the pages of a book.

"What are you doing?"

"Checking to see what the book has to say about this mess."

"…I'm hungry…"

"Ok. Lemme finish up here, and then I'll make some notes on what I'm going to do."

Itachi felt a light tug on his hand. "Hn?"

"My clone will bring you to the kitchen."

"I can wait for you."

"It will take a while until I'm ready."

"I'll meet you there then." Itachi let himself be led by Haiku's clone.

* * *

**Author's Note: ^_^ Tobi sure is something else. Isn't it annoying when you're at a relative's house for the holidays and then your Uncle keeps playing music that really gets on your nerves, but you can still somewhat hear it no matter where you are in the house? I should just be glad it isn't blasting, and well, the music could be worse…**


	19. Chapter 19: Through Blind Eyes

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

**Haiku & Kola 2:**

**Relationship Problems**

**Chapter 19: Through Blind Eyes

* * *

**

Itachi knew the Haiku clone disappeared. Kisame was talking to the clone telling her he would help Itachi out. "Why did you do that?"

"Haiku needs to concentrate. This will make things a little easier for her."

"That was thoughtful of you."

"You're lucky to have someone like her care about you so much. Can't go wrong there."

"I didn't expect her to make the decisions she made today."

Itachi was sitting down at the table.

"You hungry?"

"Yes."

"How about a sandwich?"

"What kind?"

"Peanut butter and jelly?"

"Sure."

Kisame got up and walked over to the counter to make two sandwiches; one for him and one for Itachi. "What's it like?'

"What?"

"Being blind."

"Like I'm wearing a blindfold."

"I see…"

"Yeah…"

"How long do you think it will take her to reverse it?"

"Not long."

"That's good."

* * *

"SASUKE SNUCK IN!" Kola screamed on top of her lungs, which really wasn't necessary with her lung capacity and being the master of screaming, but only Zetsu, Haiku and Nikku would know of such things. This would also explain why her parents weren't able to get rid of the ocean of stuffed animals in her possession. She also happened to be sitting in the kitchen, but she screamed loud enough for anyone to hear from any spot in the entire labyrinth. If she really tried, then the closest ninja village would be able to hear her, which was saying a lot.

Itachi who was already getting ready to go back to his room, stopped in his tracks. The figure was right at the doorway of the kitchen. He wasn't running? Not even with four seeable S-Ranked Ninja all in one room that could easily kick his butt let alone end his life? Ok, it would be hard to imagine Kola attacking a genin from her old village… But it had to be him. "Sasuke…"

Kola gasped, "IT'S COCKATOO BUTT!"

"You are weak…" Itachi paused, the figure was right in front of him, silent. "Why? Because you lack…" Itachi two finger poked Sasuke at the height that should be his forehead. "Why is your forehead so squishy?" Itachi poked again.

"JUST KIDDING!"

Then who was this?

SLAP

Itachi's cheek stung. He brought his pale skinned hand up to his cheek. Since when did his little brother go around slapping people? He rubbed his cheek thoughtfully before poking his little brother's soft and squishy forehead. Didn't Sasuke get a headband? He raised his other fingers to feel the squishy area. Was it a bruise? He made the mistake of squeezing the area. Wait, Sasuke's not really here and this feels kinda like a…

SLAP

Again? What the hell is going on?

"What do you think your doing?" Haiku's voice sounded a bit annoyed and… in front of him.

Haiku walked over to the counter and then came back to where he stood, shocked. Was he really poking her breast? Itachi felt like such an idiot. Good thing the whole entire Akatsuki wasn't here. It was only Kisame, Kola, and… he could easily feel the daggers being glared at him from behind. Madara.

"Kukuku…"

…And apparently Muki. Why'd it have to be on the day he couldn't see?

* * *

Madara noticed with his activated sharingan, a single strand of Haiku's hair curl. Madara twitched; her Inner Muki was taking more control in his daughter's life.

"We're going." Haiku still sounded agitated.

When Itachi turned around to look at who was glaring even though it was obvious, Madara realized, Itachi had gone blind. It _almost_ made him feel a little bit of sympathy for him. Almost.

* * *

It felt like Madara's attention went to his blinded eyes. Great, now he had the elder Uchiha looking down upon him. It isn't like Madara himself went blind at one point in his life. _No, not at all._

There was a sharp tug on his ponytail and he was suddenly being pulled backwards, out of the kitchen and into the halls.

* * *

Itachi was suddenly pushed onto a soft bed. "Where am I?"

"Your bedroom." Haiku no longer sounded annoyed.

Itachi sat up, his legs dangling over the foot of the bed. The chair was moved to right in front of him. Haiku sat down. "Did you find out what to do?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry? For what?"

"I really didn't know it was you."

"It's fine." Haiku paused, "I'm going to start unless you'd rather me wait."

"No, go ahead."

Itachi felt a small amount of chakra going into his eyes as she started the procedure. "Just let me know if you feel uncomfortable or your eyes suddenly start to hurt."

"Ok."

* * *

Zetsu sat at the desk in his room. Should he or shouldn't he? 'Why not?'

'**We shouldn't.**'

'Why not?'

'**Then she'll want to make the baby.**'

'It's not that much of a big deal.'

'**Until you have to explain what **_**really**_** happens.**'

'Oh…'

'**Yeah… We want her to understand, but then she'll be difficult as usual.**'

'But at least she'll know how we feel about her.'

'**Then she'll be a crazy lunatic.**'

'Not like she already is or anything.'

'**But we love her. She should know.**'

'But how to make her understand?'

'**Flower.**'

'Ah. Good idea.'

'**Thank you.**'

'What kind of flower?'

'**Uh…**'

'We need to give her the perfect one.'

'**That way she'll understand what we mean by 'love'**'

'Who has the book right now?'

'**Haiku.**'

'Should we borrow it from her?'

'**Possibly.**'

'Wasn't Itachi blinded on his last mission?'

'**Yes.**'

'I think she might be busy then.'

'**Healing Itachi?**'

'Yeah.'

'**We could always check and see.**'

'I know one!'

'**Which one?**'

'When we were kids, she always enjoyed the iris.'

'**Wasn't that her favorite flower?**'

'I do believe so.'

'**Good. It should be purple.**'

'But of course.'

'**Now the problem is to get one.**'

'And when to give it to her.'

'**When we decide the time is right.**'

'Which could be any day.'

'**Or night.**'

* * *

"All done."

Itachi blinked. His eyesight was completely restored. He could now see clearer than he could ever remember. The last time might have been before he got his sharingun. Then again, this might be the first time he could see so clearly. He blinked again, activating his sharingun. Knowing it worked still, he deactivated it.

Haiku took a deep breath, slowly letting it out. She relaxed in the chair.

"Thank you Writing."

"Yeah. It's great knowing you can once again see Mammal."

Itachi scooted closer to her, lightly holding under her chin, he pulled her into a kiss. "Is there someway I can repay you?"

Haiku sighed, getting up and taking the apple she had set on the desk. She took a big bite out of it right as her stomach growled. She completely devoured the green apple, only leaving the stem and seeds that she threw away, only keeping one seed that had sprouted while inside of the apple. "I'll be back." Haiku teleported out of the room.

Itachi kept thinking even after she had gone, how could he repay her? Not having the sense of sight, even for that short amount of time, showed him how important it is.

Haiku reappeared in the room with a pot, the soil already damp. She set it down on the desk. She had a smile on her face, "There."

"What is growing in there?"

Her smile got even bigger, "The apple seed."

Itachi smirked.

"I want to do one more thing though." Her smile went away. It wasn't a frown though, so that was good.

"What is that?" Itachi, knowing something was up, his smirk went away.

Haiku approached him, two fingers in front of his eyes. If it were anyone else, he'd think they might want to poke his eyes out. Her fingers kept still, but chakra pinched something in his eyes, when her fingers started to retreat, something came out of his eyes. He was confused, he could still see, but what was that? He tried to activate his sharingun just to make sure it wasn't anything to do with that, but his sharingun didn't activate.

"I'll give it back when I'm done."

"What did you do?" Itachi frowned.

She presented the wispy looking stuff still attached to her fingers by chakra. "Your sharingan."

"Why did you take it?"

"…"

"Who are you?"

Haiku frowned, "Haiku Uchiha."

"Why do you want it?"

"I need it for now."

"Is that what all this is about? Just to get my sharingan?"

Haiku death glared him, "Why the hell would _I_ want _your_ sharingan?"

"Madara needed Izuna's to get the Internal Mangekyo Sharingan."

"Is that what you think I want it? For my own use?"

Itachi nodded, death glaring her back.

"You forgot. I was **born** with it!"

"You're going to merge it with yours!"

"How could you accuse me of such things?" Haiku pulled out a scroll where she wiped wisps on.

"Then why do you have it?"

Her voice got quiet. "Will you just trust me? Is it too much to ask?"

"What did you just do?"

Haiku already had the scrolls rolled up and tucked away. "You'll find out."

As soon as she tucked away the scrolls, she walked out of the room, softly shutting the door behind her.

Itachi felt guilty already.

* * *

"I heard you went blind un." Deidara smirked. The blonde felt that it served Itachi right. He was the one always using those fancy eyes of his in all his fights, and since he didn't like him very much, Deidara didn't care if Itachi was blind for the rest of his life. But then it would be a little bit unfair for when he finally got to beat Itachi. It took a little bit of the fun and glory of beating the shit out of the leaf rouge.

Itachi was silent.

"That's what happens when you overuse those eyes." Deidara smirked.

Itachi looked up and glared at the blonde. "I can see."

"But you went blind un."

"Leave him alone." Haiku who was silent ever since dinner started was now death glaring Deidara, sharingun activated, icy cold voice.

"Why are you fucken protecting him?" Hidan ranted. "It fucken sickens me! You're not his fucken shield protecting him like a fucken servant bitch!" Hidan moved right in time, kunai stuck in the backrest of the wooden chair, right where his neck had been only moments before. Hidan gulped, "You just tried to fucken kill me in the middle of fucken dinner you bitch!"

"That was a warning. If I really wanted to kill you in the middle of dinner, I'd make sure blood wasn't getting all over the food." She set her chopsticks down.

"Haiku, what's wrong munch much?" Kola tugged lightly on Haiku's sleeve.

"I'm not in a good mood." Haiku stood up, grabbed her plate and put it next to the seat.

"Where are you fucken going?"

Haiku looked back at Hidan.

The Akatsuki sat there, shocked. Hidan was face first in his plate. Kakuzu's threads wrapped around his partner's shoulders, forcing him to sit upright. Blood was dripping from various stab wounds in his gut, another slash on his neck. It was still oozing out when Hidan snapped back alive, "SHE FUCKEN KILLED ME WITH THOSE RED EYES!"

"How?" Sasori questioned.

"The Tsukuyomi, sharingan level five." Kola pleasantly answered.

The Akatsuki looked around, Haiku had already left. Her plate still had half of the food that she had originally got for dinner left. She obviously wasn't in a good mood.

* * *

Kola and Itachi walked around the halls, looking for Haiku. Kola wasn't even trying to look for her, just enjoying the walk. She really just wanted to know what happened to get Haiku in such a bad mood. "She got you your sight back?" Kola tilted her head to one side.

"Yes."

"Then why is she in a bad mood?"

"…She took my sharingan…"

"Is she trying to…?"

"What?"

"_Never mind_." Kola had that innocent smile.

"We got into an argument."

"Hm…"

"Why did she want my sharingan?"

"Because she wants to do something for you."

"What?"

"If she's doing what I think she's doing, you should feel grateful munch much."

"Why?"

"You'll see eventually."

"Will I get my sharingan back?"

"Of course. She doesn't want it if that's what you think."

"Just tell my why."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Don't wanna."

Itachi turned into the library. There she sat with her back to them. On the table she was working on, there was an open scroll and the book laying wide open.

"Haiku?" Itachi thought she was too into whatever it was that she was doing that she didn't hear him. The two of them headed closer to where she sat. Looking over her shoulder, there were all sorts of patters, shapes and symbols. It sprawled out along the scroll. He was beginning to think it was so big, it might have been as long as the scroll itself. "What is that?"

"Your sharingan." Kola whispered.

He looked over at the book, it had one that seemed similar, but it was a whole lot more complicated. "What is that?" Itachi pointed at the book.

"Haiku's sharingan."

"Why doesn't she just do what she did to mine?"

Haiku turned around, "Because I need my sharingan to find what is needed to the job." Haiku closed the book.

"How long is the one with my sharingan compared to yours?"

Haiku was already up. She took the scroll, flinging it open. It spread across the floor. The black stuff on the scroll covered the entire scroll as he thought. Haiku grabbed a bigger scroll, doing the same to her sharingun. She flung it across the floor to let him see. It was incredibly long.

"How much bigger is that?"

"Nine levels while yours is would only be two. So about four and a half times bigger."

Itachi twitched. She took her sharingun and put it back in with her chakra. She got rid of that scroll and then rolled up the scroll with his sharingun. "What are you doing to it?"

"All you can think about is your sharingan. It makes me think I should just give it back and forget about my idea." Haiku put the stuff she had out away.

"Where are you going?" Kola asked.

"I'm tired and I should go to sleep so I can work on this again tomorrow."

"Are you still mad at me?"

Haiku just ignored his question. She then left the library.

Kola scratched her back. "I know the answer!"

"What is it?"

"Yup."

"Hn." Itachi wasn't pleased with the situation or himself for that matter.

"She has a big task in front of her. She's going to be stressed for a while."

"Any advice?"

"Other than not making her angry or having arguments?"

"Yeah."

"Eh. Leave her be. She'll get better on her own." Kola headed to the door, "When she's stressed like this, I don't think she'd appreciate it if you tried making it up to her by trying to have sex or…" Kola's voice dropped to a whisper, "make the baby." Kola held the door open for Itachi, "I'm just guessing about that, but I think she'd get very **very** angry with you if you were to try that kind of stuff."

* * *

Itachi had been in the living room for a while before he decided Haiku would most likely be dead asleep and he wouldn't be able to disturb her. He just entered the room and got ready to go to bed. He noticed Haiku wasn't in the room when he heard the bathroom door open. By that time, he was in just his boxers and he had pulled back the blankets.

Haiku had a blood red towel wrapped tightly around her, gaze resting on Itachi. "Do you know what happened to my clothes?"

"Hn?"

"My clothes disappeared, even the ones I was wearing before my shower."

"I didn't take them." Itachi climbed in bed, fluffing up the pillow, and pulling the blankets to cover him.

Haiku cautiously walked over to him.

"What?"

She messed with his pillow. He grabbed the bottom corner of her towel without thinking.

Her hand pried his hand off the towel. Keeping one hand firmly on the towel itself to make sure it didn't somehow come off.

Itachi smirked, "Sorry about that."

Haiku glared at him, pulling out her missing clothes from under his pillow. The next thing Itachi knew, she had retreated into the bathroom. The only word from her was this: "Pervert!"

* * *

Muki was wandering around again at night. It wasn't too terribly difficult for her to sneak into Itachi and Haiku's room and relocate her daughter's clothes. "Kukuku…"

Messing around with the other inhabitants of this place was becoming almost like a hobby. If she played her cards right, then she might get to have the so-called Stalker and her daughter together.

Muki was only hinting that they might as Kola puts it 'make the baby' when she set up the whole event in the hallway. Being the 'ghost' here was just too entertaining.

She wondered to herself if she had been gone long enough to get Madara worrying about that 'other man.'

* * *

Itachi watched Haiku climb into her spot to sleep, the couch. "Why not sleep over here with me?" Itachi lightly suggested.

"I want to sleep here."

With a slight hint of seductiveness he said, "But then I'll get lonely."

"Hn." Haiku rolled over, her back to him.

"Why did you take a shower so late?"

"If you knew me better, you'd know, I like taking showers after dinner instead of after breakfast, if not sooner."

"Then why take a shower in the morning and then suddenly decide on taking one after the sun has gone down?"

"When it comes to taking a shower or bath, I am usually one to procrastinate unless I really feel like it. I don't push it back to the next day or anything like that, but I'm known to wait until the last minute."

"Are you mad at me?"

"Hn."

"Why do you want me to feel so lonely tonight?"

"One: you're a pervert. Two: I need my sleep. Three: You could only think about your sharingan instead of just trusting me. Four: You keep hinting to have sex."

"Hn. Am not."

"Then what have you been doing? Trying to create a map of my body?"

Itachi turned so now his back was to her. "Good night."

"Good night."

* * *

Muki came back to Haiku and Itachi's room. Itachi was once again on the bed while her daughter who should be on the bed instead was on the couch. They both seemed to be in a deep slumber. Haiku was tossing and turning now, hair getting in her face.

Muki's motherly instincts came back to her. She gently wiped the hair out of her daughter's face.

Haiku snapped awake, not noticing Muki who got out of her way. Muki smiled, watching her daughter take out her old machete, most likely thinking it was Itachi who touched her as she dreamt, pulled Itachi out of bed and initiated him. He was still half asleep when the machete was shoved up his ass.

Muki did her best to hold back her laughter. That was her daughter all right. The way her Little Princess wielded her old machete, was just like how she used it on Madara.

* * *

**Author's Note: Sorry about not updating yesterday, but I didn't have any internet access.  
**


	20. Chapter 20: The Fate of the Glass House

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

**Haiku & Kola 2 **

**Relationship Problems**

**Chapter 20: The Fate of the Glass House

* * *

**

**Author's Note: I hope I didn't completely mess up on the chapter. I'm really sorry if I did.  
**

**melioko : You guessed it right. Haiku's trying to make it so that Itachi won't have to ever worry about going blind from his sharingan. You're right, it would be sad if Itachi had to stay being blind. It's just not right for such a great Uchiha to loose something so precious. After all, you don't know what you have until you lose it.  
**

**hisoka-ai9 : I feel bad for Itachi too. I really do ask myself when I'm alone why in the world I make Itachi go through so much suffering.**

**blaze : *blink blink* But I did say why the update was late. I'm sorry the high school is choosing to give us early outs and days of no school so close to the end of the school year, but I don't have internet access at home. I have to be at school or at a friends house in order to have any time on the internet at all. Sure I can work on the story at home, but I can't post it. Wait a minute... You are thinking about making Muki your sister? You've read Wicked Hearts and the amount that has been posted so far? I know quite a bit about her, but she's been labeled as mentally unstable. lol. She's still great though.  
**

**

* * *

**

At first, Itachi didn't know what has happening. He was having a pleasant dream, but all the sudden, he realized he was screaming. Itachi held back another scream as he felt the machete being shoved back up his ass. At first it was as if he was angry, but that last one showed affection. She wasn't that mad was she?

* * *

Deidara waited for the Mayhem's warmth to find a spot next to him. He waited and waited in the darkness, wanting so he could hear her purr to come while he pet her and scratched behind her ears. Then the thought hit him, she wasn't here. She was really Sonya.

Deidara ran a hand through his hair. He needed to remember she most likely wasn't coming back. She said goodbye and that revealed who she really was. In the language of women, was that something to the equivalent of 'call me?'

* * *

Lying on his stomach, Itachi smirked, Haiku still loved him. The fact was completely wonderful. He then let sleep claim him, dreams of being with Haiku.

* * *

_Where am I? I looked all around. The Garden of Life?_

"_Haiku."_

_Since when did Itachi get here?_

"_I love you." He got down on his knees, pulling out what he had hidden behind his back. "Will you marry me?"_

_The blush came just as fast as the smile did. "Marriage?"_

"_You're the only one for me Writing. You know that."_

_I tackled him, "Yes, yes Mammal! Of course I'll marry you!"_

_I found myself on my back, what was he doing? I started to panic, "No."_

"_It'll be ok. I promise Writing."_

_Everything vanished just like that. I sat up feeling extremely guilty. I was actually going to let him…_

"_Am I invited?"_

"_Nikku." I glared at him "What are you doing here?"_

"_I guess not." Nikku continued, "You look like you've been so tired and stressed."_

"_It's none of your business."_

"_Are you expecting a little Itachi Jr?"_

"_No."_

"_How old are you now? Twenty?"_

"_No. Nineteen."_

"_Oh yes, you haven't had your birthday this year."_

"_Why does it matter to you?"_

"_Just curious. Are you a virgin or has you little lover taken that from you?" Nikku sat down. "How could I forget? Your stupid parents scarred you when you were little. Still afraid of sex?"_

"_Leave me alone. Leave us all alone."_

"_You have no power over me."_

"_Are you still alive?"_

"_What kind of question is that?"_

"_I don't know, maybe because it was said you caught that dreadful illness shortly after giving it to your parents."_

"_Rumors. Rumors can be good and others are bad. I survived. Unfortunately the three of you did too."_

"_You just want us dead?"_

"_Pretty much. You didn't belong in our clan let alone did you deserve to be in our clan for a single second. Zetsu doesn't fit in. His parents were wild and untamed. No wonder their only child became such a mess. Kola isn't a disgrace to the clan. She's pure, but the fact she had it and then because of your meddling, she defeated it." Nikku stretched, "Your parents may be well known as great generals, but they are still worthless. You come from such a pathetic clan." Nikku had the end of a katana pressing against his throat. "You should be more careful. Someone could lose their life if your not careful."_

"_You deserve to die you bastard."_

"_I was meaning you." Nikku vanished right as the katana went right through the space were his neck had previously been.

* * *

_

Itachi lifted his head from the soft, white pillow. Haiku was acting strangely. Was she having another nightmare?

"ITACHI GET OUT OF HERE!"

I was trapped, unable to go anywhere. I couldn't teleport, even though it's my dream, I couldn't take control. There was nothing I could do. Itachi was like a statue, refusing to leave even if Nikku was there. He just didn't know what he was capable of. "ITACHI GET OUT OF HERE!"

* * *

"_I'm not leaving you."_

"_Just do it!"

* * *

_

"YOU'RE NOT SAFE HERE! JUST GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL HAVE THE CHANCE!"

Itachi bolted up, forgetting the pain in his backside.

"I'LL BE FINE FOR NOW, JUST GET OUT!"

Ignoring the small part of him that said 'Be careful. She might attack with the machete or something bigger.' The larger voice said 'She needs you. I don't care if she initiates you for this, she needs you. If she does, it will be out of affection. Just go.' was the one that was listened to. He had to help her.

She seemed to calm down a bit. They were right about the heat of a fire wielder helps comfort her. …If only it lasted… Haiku started kicking, punching, biting, fighting, struggling and most of all, screaming.

"GET OUT YOU BASTARD! OUT OF MY DREAM!"

There had to be something he could do to help her. Haiku needed him. Itachi took a deep breath and opened an eye.

* * *

_The warmth of Itachi helped me get some control back, but not before Nikku started gaining the control back. At least I wasn't locked up… But Itachi…_

"_It's only a dream." I fought the tears, "It's only a dream… Itachi isn't really dead."_

"_You're just a weakling. Who should we choose next? Kola? Or how about your beloved parents?"_

_If felt a familiar hand on my shoulder. "Leave her alone." Itachi._

_The dead one faded away, but this one felt like the real Itachi. Could it be? "How'd you get in here?" Nikku constructed a vine spear._

"_I have my ways." Itachi paused, "Who are you and what are you doing here?"_

"_Ah, so you're the one who proposed to her earlier."_

"_What?"_

"_In her dream, before I took control, in the Terra's Garden of Life, you proposed and then…" Nikku smirked. "You started undressing her."_

"…_Haiku…"_

"_Nikku, I told you, leave him out of this." I growled, regardless of the guilty feeling I had about the earlier dream. It had been the first time a dream like that showed up._

"_Protective are we?"_

"_Is that true?" Itachi asked._

_"No matter. I can just end his life here. I'll make it painfully slow too." Both Itachi and I were tied up to metal chairs._

* * *

Muki and Madara had been in the room for a while now. They had incredible hearing, even if there was a jutsu on the area to keep it quiet. When it came to their Little Princess, they knew what was going on, for the most part. If she was in trouble, they knew. If she needed them, they knew and were there.

But there was nothing they could really do in this situation. Itachi was sitting on the couch with Haiku sitting with her back up against his chest. It looked like he had come to comfort her, but how was he sleeping? His head drooped, but had he somehow gotten into the nightmare too?

* * *

~Happy Birthday to you

Happy Birthday to you

Happy Birthday dear Sonya

Happy Birthday to you~

Sonya dug into the slice of chocolate cake with a tasty, homemade, chocolate frosting. Also on her plate were two scoops of mint chocolate chip ice cream. It was great to be home.

Birthday with the family. Sonya was now officially an adult now. An adult, female spy and the one who gathered info from the captives just like some ambu did. What was she going to do after today?

Sonya suddenly felt a shadow possession jutsu take control of her movements. Shikamaru. Sonya and her brother's faces went down to the table. Shikamaru hadn't gotten a plate yet, so he made special care to get the cake's frosting all over Sonya's face, by turning and tilting his head just to be sure. When he was satisfied, Sonya felt herself being released from the shadow.

Her reaction to all this? A swift lick of the back of her hand and thoroughly cleaned her face off where she was sure she had gotten food all over.

She couldn't help congratulating her brother though, being able to surprise a cat and be so sneaky like that! He had talent. It must run in the family, yeah, it had to be. She smiled, she knew all.

Shikamaru handed her a wrapped up box. Sonya tore the paper off, not trying to save it or anything. It was all or nothing. She was so quick, it was like a competition that said if she didn't have it open under fifteen seconds, then she didn't get it.

It contained a box, inside that was an assortment of cheese and summer sausage. This was one of her favorite treats! "Thanks Shikamaru!"

"Great. It would have been such a drag if you didn't like it."

As for the present from her parents… It was pretty cool. A glass house that couldn't be broken. It was impossible to see in from the outside except where the windows were located, but from the inside, it was the perfect place to spy from! She could easily see out from the walls while in the inside. It allowed the sun to come in and heat her fur up. The place was already furnished and everything. It really does help when your parents are the ones in charge of your clan.

The bad part, was the location.

"What's wrong?"

"It's great, but…"

"What is it?"

"It's a perfect house…" Sonya pulled out a ruler, "but it's too close to home."

Her mother spoke instead of her father, "It's not too close."

"I can't even fit this simple ruler between the two."

Shikamaru took it from Sonya, turning it so the skinny edge was in the middle. "I told you it was too close. What a drag! It's three inches away from home!"

* * *

"Zetsu, I had another nightmare last night."

"**Another?** We did too."

"Itachi snuck in."

"Love sure does make you do strange things."

"It does."

"**And he met Nikku?**"

"Yes." I frowned. "All the sudden, I feel like I'm up to my armpits in stuff that I need to do. It may not be that many tasks, but they're big ones."

"Like what?"

"The task I started getting ready to do to Itachi's sharingun."

"**You're not going to make some adjustments to it are you?**"

"I am." I looked up at the ceiling, "I don't want him to worry about going blind again. I need to get it done and correctly."

"I see."

"I also have that feeling that I should make some more of that cure."

"**The cure we've heard so much about?**"

"Yes. Nikku's presence is making me uncomfortable. If anything happens to me… I want to make sure Kola will have the cure if she gets it again."

"Don't you already have some made up?"

"Two doses."

"**Following your gut sounds like a good idea.**"

"When I'm done with this, I think it would be a good idea to go to the summoning realm."

"To visit the dragons?"

"Yes. It's been a while."

"**Why not take Itachi with you?**"

"I don't know what the others will think of him, but why not." I thought for a little bit, "How are you and Kola doing?"

"We've been thinking about telling her how we really think."

"How are you going to do that? Propose to her?"

"**Giving her a flower is the only way we can open her eyes on the matter. **We picked out the right flower too. **It's just a matter of getting one and when to give it to her.**"

"What kind of flower?"

"Hopefully we can get a purple Iris."

"Great choice. I think there's one in our garden."

* * *

Itachi walked into his room. There at his desk was Haiku doing her work. At least she had been before she had fallen asleep. She had some kind of black mixture in a glass jar. Next to the closed jar was a calligraphy brush.

Itachi knew something was up. She had been tired just about all day. Perhaps it was the nightmare? Haiku jolted awake, the back of her head almost hitting him as he was looking over her at what she had done.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah…" Haiku yawned. "I'm fine." She face planted the desktop, asleep again.

Itachi hated it when she did this to herself. Didn't she know if someone's tired, then they go to sleep so they aren't? Watching her overwork herself was something he really didn't like seeing.

Itachi carefully pulled her chair back, making sure she didn't fall backwards. He picked her up, gently putting her on the bed. Itachi made sure she'd be comfortable. He went over to the couch; examining the red rose he had given her. Within the vase full of water, it was still perfectly healthy as if it hadn't even been picked.

Kisame entered. "I thought I heard you guys in here. It's time for dinner. I hope Zetsu cooked something good!"

Itachi turned around. "Haiku's sleeping."

"Why? Doesn't she want dinner?"

"She's been overworking herself. She'll eat when she's awake." Itachi and Kisame headed to the kitchen.

* * *

Sonya thought about it before making her decision, "Move the house, or I'll just sell the whole thing."

"You don't like it?" Her mother questioned. "Why not? Do you know how long it took me to get everything in there just right?"

"What a drag!" Shikamaru sighed.

"I like the place, but I don't like the location. If you move it to that empty spot eleven houses away, then I won't sell it. Another good spot is the one off to the other direction if you keep to the path, oh I'd say… seventeen houses down, then I'll be happy too."

"But that spot has the best weather conditions." Her mother looked like she was going to pout.

"I've checked, those two spots I just pointed out have weather identical to where it is now."

"You're not going to sell it."

"Oh yeah…" Sonya got up and left the house.

"She actually put the sign up! What a drag!" Shikamaru complained a few minutes later.

Sonya came back out. "You're decision?"

Her father was looking at some files. "We'll move it for you."

Sonya smiled. "Great!"

"It'll take a while to get everything sorted out and then moved to the location for you."

"Thank you!" Sonya gave hugs to each family member.

* * *

Haiku sat up. When did she decide on going to sleep and when was that in Itachi's bed instead of the couch she had grown so fond of?

She got up, making sure she was awake, and then went back to the desk to work now that she felt more awake. "Hn…" Haiku opened up the book to a copy of what her sharingan's blueprints were at.

Haiku got another scroll that she transferred Itachi's sharingan to. A bigger one might be a bit better. When the elders messed around with her own sharingan, they were working on a long, wooden table, but this will do just fine as so long as she didn't run out of room.

Haiku opened up the jar of the black liquid, dipping the brush in. She used some chakra to spread out the sharingan so she could add the stuff that needs to be done. With the brush, she added in the stuff that needed to be added in for it all to work.

What the book didn't explain from the experiment the elders used on her sharingan was that while adding things in with the liquid they had a detailed explanation of what it was created by, was that chakra is slowly drained every time the brush tip hits the area the sharingan is located.

Itachi came back in. "Haiku? You're awake already?"

"Uh huh." She continued on her work.

"You need to stop overworking yourself. I can tell you're still tired."

"I'm busy."

"What are you doing now?"

"I need to stay concentrated."

He put a hand on her shoulder. "Haiku, you're tired and overworking yourself…"

"I am not!"

"Please just relax and do this tomorrow."

"I can't just stop in the middle of this. I got to finish adding everything in before I go to sleep."

"Why?"

"To make sure I don't have to redo all of my work."

"I'll put the stuff away for you. All you got to do is tell me what to do with them."

"I don't want to go to sleep."

"Then why not have something to eat?"

"I'm not in the mood to eat."

"I won't force you to do anything." Itachi kissed her on the cheek.

* * *

It was eleven eleven when I had finished up. I used a jutsu that was in the book to make sure everything was now added in. Everything in the sharingan glowed the same color as the sharingan to show everything had indeed been added.

Good, I was all done. Itachi was asleep. Seeing him made me feel happy to be with him, but also angry because of the argument we had gotten in. How could he accuse me of taking his sharingan for my own uses? After giving him back his eyesight, that is how he thanks me? Ugh.

I cleaned up everything, putting the scroll and the book in a safe place that I could only access before making my bed on the couch. Sleep came pretty easily.

* * *

I woke up from a bad dream. Thankfully it wasn't one controlled by Nikku. Something wasn't right… I was still on the couch, so it couldn't be that. Itachi was asleep on the bed. No one else was here. Then I saw what was wrong…

How in the hell did he get my nightgown?

I wasn't in a good mood to say the least. In his sleeping state, he held my shirt to his chest. My pants were on the floor right next to him too.

I left the room…

Kisame awoke. The clock said it was one in the morning. In the shadows, he saw two red eyes. The figure came closer, ominous aura around her. Haiku.

"What are you doing?"

Haiku reached for Samehada. Spikes shot out of the handle as warning to the approaching hand. Once it sensed her, the spikes came back in. Samehada was trembling in fear.

"No, don't take Sharkskin!"

Regardless of Kisame's will, Haiku took Samehada and left the room without saying a single word.

Hidan just got a late night snack from the kitchen and was heading back to his room when Haiku bumped into him. "You better fucken watch where you're fucken going!"

Hidan could have sworn some of Haiku's hair spiked. What was going on? The ominous glare resting on the immortal. She started walking again when he yelled at her. "Where are you fucken going bitch?"

Hidan didn't even know what hit him. Since when did she have Samehada?

Itachi knew there was something wrong. Haiku was pissed and he didn't do anything that would get her mad in the last two hours! Her hair was still the same length, but it was a bit spiky. That meant he wasn't going to get any mercy. One would think if it had been curls instead, it would be worse, but at least Haiku's Inner Muki had mercy… for the most part. If he knew he would be able to escape, Itachi would be gone, but there was nowhere to run.

He gulped, "Same…hada?"

That look… It wasn't just his partner's weapon now was it. Resting on the very tip of Sharkskin was… Oh my god. She had to be joking… right?

"What the fuck did you fucken do to my fucken body?"

* * *

**Author's Note: Eh… you aren't going to attack me for what's about to happen, right? Yes, I do feel more and more guilty if not feel more and more bad for Itachi. Why did he have to fall in love with the one person that has two masters of torture for parents? I also do feel bad about Hidan, it wasn't his fault he was in the wrong place at the wrong time and was being himself.**


	21. Chapter 21: Male or Female, That's the Q

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

**Haiku & Kola 2:**

**Relationship Problems**

**Chapter 21: Male or Female, That's the Question

* * *

**

**Author's Note: Well I had a great time with one of my friends at an anime convention and we didn't have school on Monday. So please don't hate me for that one, but I guess I deserve the torches and pitch forks for not updating until now because I was lazy and didn't get it done on Tuesday. *facepalm* After that, the computers have been evil and not letting us log in. Please forgive me. T_T I'm a bad updater aren't I?**

**melioko – It's surprising to find out how many thinks Muki is behind. She's still very good with forming alliances and being able to be invisible to the untrained eye doesn't help in the matter. Itachi really does have a lot of patience. So much, even I'm surprised the more I think about it. I'm glad to hear readers like seeing the dragon family.**

**hisoka-ai9 – Sometimes, it's best not to ask. I became amused by the saying, 'Curiosity killed the cat.' when a friend added on to it, 'And satisfaction brought it back.'**

**blaze – Itachi really does have bad luck. Hopefully the tide will turn in his favor. You guessed right. Haiku wants to make sure Itachi can't ever go blind again. Knowing Zetsu and what will happen when Kola finds out, he won't be wanting to tell her how 'making the baby' actually works or else he will be forever doomed. Though when she does find out, it will be from Zetsu in which she hears it from. Poor Zetsu, he better want to 'make the baby' a lot with her or run for the hills. He'll never be able to drop his guard while around her again… How'd your exams go? I have to go through finals next week. _' It won't be a very pleasant event. The only catch that makes it worthwhile is the fact that it's going to be our last week of school. After that, I'll have to simply update every time I can get access to the internet until summer vacation is over.

* * *

**

Kakuzu kept thinking to himself on his way to breakfast. Was it a blessing or a curse he hadn't seen Hidan? He stopped and kicked the body's foot. What did Hidan get himself into?

A body without a head huh? It won't take long to find him as so long as it's still in the base. The ranting and cussing should be an easy way to find him.

* * *

Haiku looked like she might drop over from exhaustion. In fact, she looked like she hadn't slept in days.

Itachi looked like he was… pregnant? Was Itachi not telling the rest of the Akatsuki something?

Haiku was female right? The pregnant one was Itachi. The lines are the key to finding who was who, and the pregnant one had lines. Was Itachi female and Haiku got Itachi pregnant? What the hell was going on? The whole Akatsuki were trying to figure it out!

"What happened here un?" Deidara poked Itachi's swollen belly. He only glared, but otherwise remained silent.

There was then a muffled cry, "Someone get me the hell out of here!"

Kakuzu came in. "Has anyone seen the Religious Bastard's head?"

"Why un?" Deidara was becoming entertained by poking Itachi and hearing Hidan complain.

"Someone decapitated Hidan. His head's somewhere around here."

"Kakuzu? Is that you? Please buddy! Get me the fuck out of here!"

Kakuzu's expression portrayed shock and then pure horror. "You're stuck in Itachi?"

"Yes I'm fucken stuck in Itachi! What did you fucken think? He was pregnant?"

Kakuzu decided at that exact moment, this was a curse. At least he didn't have to deal with it.

"Kakuzu."

"Yes Leader-sama."

"You need to get Hidan back in one piece. That is an order." Pein left the kitchen. He had lost his appetite.

Crap. _Now_ it was his problem. Why did he have to think he would be unaffected by this whole matter even before it was over?

Kisame politely questioned. "Itachi, how'd this happen?"

Itachi twitched. "Haiku was furious. Samehada. Hidan's ranting scull stuck at the end."

"Kukukukukukuku…" Muki found this utter hilarious. Who knew her daughter would do something such as this?

Tobi poked Itachi's swollen belly. "Itachi wasn't a good boy. Did it hurt?"

Itachi nodded.

"Did Itachi scream?"

"No."

Muki and Madara were shocked. Itachi could be initiated with Sharkskin that didn't cut, but rip, even though he could never be initiated with the katana or machete without screaming, passed on the first time.

"How am I supposed to get Hidan back together?" Kakuzu spoke his thoughts.

"Not me." Kola climbed into Zetsu's shell.

"**What are you doing**?" The black half questioned the new arrival in the now closed up shell.

"We make our escape!" Kola announced from within the shell.

"Where are we going?" Zetsu asked her as they merged into the ground.

"Does anyone know how to get him out that doesn't involve killing Itachi?" Kakuzu asked the remaining Akatsuki, which wasn't very many since most decided on leaving so they wouldn't have to be the one to get the immortal out.

"Pull him out?" Haiku suggested as she was about ready to leave the kitchen.

"You mean…" Kakuzu gulped, "with my hand?"

"Thread?"

"He's quite far up in the digestive track."

"It could be worse."

"How?"

"Hidan could be trapped in the stomach. Stomach acid is some very potent stuff."

"Where are you going? Aren't you going to help?"

"I haven't gotten any decent sleep in quite some time. Maybe this time I won't have a nightmare."

* * *

_I could see nothing. I could feel a damp environment. There was no sense of taste, nor was there any smell. It was so quiet and I felt so hungry. I wasn't even hungry when I went to sleep, so why do I feel as if I skipped out on both breakfast and lunch?_

"_You did this to me." The voice sounded so pleasant to hear regardless of the anger laced within the words._

"_You're feet look like they hurt." Pointing out the obvious?_

"_I'm hungry. Get me food." Then the two were silent._

_Was that my parents? What's going on here?_

'_I'm hungry. There's not enough for both of us.'_

_Who was that? It didn't sound like it was spoken, but how was I able to hear it? It was like when my cranes talk to me through crane. 'Mommy's eating again soon. There will be enough.' Did I just say that?_

'_She's been eating four meals a day. It's your turn and I'm already hungry.'_

'_We can share.'_

'_I don't want to share.'_

'_Why not?'_

'_I want it all.'_

'_But that isn't fair.'_

'_I'm hungry and you're food.'_

_'No sister! I don't want to hurt you'_

'_You won't have to. Just let me finish you off.'_

'_No.'

* * *

_

I bolted up from the couch. I had only been asleep for fifteen minutes, wait… sixteen. I had never had that kind of dream before. It sounded like a memory though. One locked away until now.

I was still so tired… I let myself fall back to the couch. Was Nikku the cause of all these nightmares?

Itachi entered the room, taking slow and obviously painful steps. "You look like shit. Get some sleep."

"I don't know why I did that last night… They just took over…"

"It's ok. I forgive you."

"Itachi?"

"Hn?"

"Am I a twin?"

"What?"

"Do I have a sister?"

"Isn't Kola your sister?"

"Yes, but… Where's my parents?"

"I wouldn't go in there if I were you."

"Why?"

"Zetsu told me there was a 'do not disturb' sign on the door."

I got up from the couch. I touched him, chakra flowing out of my fingertips. I needed to at least make sure he could walk fine. Make it as if he didn't have Hidan stuck in his lower digestive track only two minutes ago.

"Where are you going? You need to get some sleep."

"I can't sleep."

"Try."

"I did."

"Try again."

"I told you, I can't."

"Please."

"No."

"For me?"

I felt my steps grow wobbly, my balance failed and I flopped down on the hard, wooden floor.

"Haiku!"

* * *

_"What do you think?"_

_I death glared at the man standing before me._

"_It was hard, but to think I stumbled across in the deepest and almost lost memory of yours. The last time you tried to get sleep."_

"_Who's that?" I was curious in this dark realm of who the woman standing next to him was._

"_I do believe this is your twin if you didn't kill her and then devoured her remains." Nikku paused, "How cruel of you to kill your on sister!"_

"_I was only protecting myself." My eyes widened, did I really just say that?_

"_She's the one your father would have rather had."_

"_You don't know what you're talking about."_

"_I heard on one of my trips to the Leaf Village before you were born. He wanted Muki to bear him a son." Nikku smirked. "One he could conquest with."_

"_That doesn't mean anything. He got a daughter, not a son."_

"_The twin that survived was a pacifist. One who would rather let herself get all cut up than carry the weight on her shoulders that she killed her attackers."_

"_Where are you going with this?"_

"_She is your opposite if you think about it."_

_I looked down at my clothing, black. Hers was white, but the same exact style as mine. Same hairstyle and length, but she possessed no curls. Instead, her hair showed some spikes. Her black eyes revealed the Mangekyo Sharingun before going back to normal._

"_Sister. You killed me."_

_I looked down at my feet._

"_You were always a weakling. I was supposed to be the only immortal daughter of Madara Uchiha and Muki Sotaki, but immortality given because of having two immortal parents would only come after we were officially born. I was the one they wanted, not you!"_

"…"

"_Now I have been awoken! __**You**__ don't deserve to be alive, pathetic sister! __**I**__ was the one they wanted! __**I**__ was supposed to survive! __**I**__ am the aggressive one, not __**you**__! But how can a pacifist kill? Now __**I**__ am __**only**__ a memory, __**saved**__ from being forgotten by Nikku Terra. __**I'm**__ not even __**living**__! Nor am __**I**__ something that can take your body over like the Inner Madara and Inner Muki for a short period of time. __**I **__am only here now because Nikku awaked __**me**__. The dream realm is the only place __**I**__ can reside!"_

"_I didn't want to kill you."_

"_But __**you**__ did! Now what? __**I**__ get to sit here and rot in the few memories __**you**__ have when __**we**__ were both in Mother's womb. Even then, our days of being able to contact each other were limited. __**You**__ got to be the one to live! __**You**__ are the one that is with the handsome Itachi Uchiha! He's __**your**__ soul mate, not __**mine**__! __**You**__ don't know how lucky you are."_

"_I know I'm lucky... I know I should be more thankful… It wasn't me who decided on killing the other… There is nothing I can do, but not forget about you."_

_The twin listened to what I was saying. There was nothing that could be done now. She just had to deal with it. It had indeed been her that had come up with the whole plan to no longer be so hungry. "…I understand now…" She gave me a hug in which I returned, "Thank you for opening my eyes."_

"_I'm sorry sister."_

"_I want you to promise me one thing."_

"_What?"_

"_Let me visit you in the dream realm. Only a small part of me, the part that had gotten just the slightest bit immortal that was also consumed was tied down to that memory as so long as it wasn't forgotten."_

"_How do I let you?" A key materialized in my hand._

"_That key."_

_I let her have it. She had a string and tied it around her neck as a necklace. "Thank you sister. Just be sure to visit me. Tell our parents I love them. Take care of Itachi. Judging by the memories with him in it, he really does care about you."_

"_What are you doing? You're not supposed to forgive her after what she did!"_

"_Put a sock in it Nikku." The twin death glared Nikku. "I'm going to get going. I'll see you later sister."_

"_I love you sister."_

"_I love you more sister." She smiled before fading away._

_"Just because she has left, doesn't mean you aren't getting a nightmare!"

* * *

_

"Ah damn it!" Nikku cursed, kicking over the blown out candle.

"What happened?"

"She made friends with my ally and then she kicked me out of the nightmare!"

"We're talking about Haiku right?"

"Of course I'm fucken talking about Haiku!"

"Who's the ally? Is it that sister you were talking about earlier?"

"No shit, Sherlock!"

* * *

Haiku opened her eyes. It was night already huh? It at least she felt a whole lot better. The realization that she was once again in her nightgown irritated her, but the bottle on the nightstand made her completely furious. The arms around her tightened as Itachi slept. BABY OIL!

All control was lost. He'd pay for this!

* * *

Kisame cracked open one eye. Who was there and what were they doing? Samehada clacked in fear. Oh no, not again!

* * *

It was morning and the crowd in the opened door of Itachi and Haiku's bedroom wasn't a good sign. Hidan was also nowhere to be found. Kakuzu joined the crowd, pushing his way through to where Itachi lay on the couch.

Everyone else quickly fled the room; Pein was picking someone to help poor Itachi. And of course, Pein chose him to fix the problem. Then he disappeared, showing even the leader didn't want to be the one to deal with the mess.

"Haiku, lookie at Itachi! He's having a clone!"

"What are you talking about?" Haiku rubbed the sleepiness from her eyes.

"Itachi's clone is stuck in Itachi's ass!"

Kakuzu saw the foot with it's sandal sill on twitch. "Hidan?"

"Get me the hell out of here!"

"But Haiku, it's Itachi's clone, not Hidan."

"Then why is he coming out of his ass?"

"Because that's the only hole that's big enough!"

"Not again." Kakuzu muttered under his breath. He got ahold of the ankle, giving it a tug. Hidan sure was stuck…

"Need help?"

Since when was Haiku standing next to him? "Go ahead and try."

Kakuzu watched a little bit of chakra enter Itachi. Haiku somehow knew Kakuzu was wondering what she was doing. "That is making it so he won't feel any pain." She got a good hold of Hidan's ankle. With the strength one would expect from the child of Madara, she pulled Hidan out, all in one piece.

Hidan stood dazed, but gradually grew more aware of his surroundings, grew wide-eyed, and then ran off in the direction of his room.

* * *

Sonya, in cat form, watched the big clay bird circle around overhead. It then landed in a small clearing in the forest near Konoha. The blonde jumped off the clay creation, and was about to look for someone when his blue eye caught sight of the Siamese.

Sonya ran up to Deidara, purring loud enough for him to hear.

"I want you to come back with me un." Deidara said with a smile.

Sonya meowed.

"Can you please show me how you look as a human un?"

Sonya complied, transforming back into her normal, human self. "Long time no see."

"Why'd you leave?"

"Remember, my birthday was yesterday."

"How old are you un?"

"Eighteen now."

"Me too un!"

"When's your birthday?"

"May 5th. I'll be nineteen."

"Ah. What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you un."

"Why?" Sonya purred.

"Because I miss you un."

"We going or not?"

Deidara looked confused. "What about your family? Are you leaving the leaf?"

"Nah. I got my cover."

"_Really?_"

"Yeah, besides, my shape-shifting relative taught me, a shape-shifter is never truly home until after traveling and then deciding which place is most suitable." Sonya smiled.

"We go un?"

* * *

"Wasn't it a bit much?"

"Hidan survived."

"It's still hard to believe you were the cause of this."

"I had to be the one to do it."

Haiku came in.

Madara and Muki were both caught off guard. How long had she been listening and how much did she hear?

"You were the one who put me in my nightgown?"

Muki smirked.

"And let me guess, you're the one who put the baby oil next to the nightstand to make me think he wanted to do something else."

"Kukuku…"

Haiku shook her head. "I should have known." Haiku suddenly became lost in deep thought. Her gaze shifted to her own feet. A single tear hit the floor. "You wanted the other twin instead of me!" Haiku disappeared through the now open door.

Madara got up and shut it. "So he wasn't lying after all…" Madara said once he sat back down near Muki.

Muki crossed her arms. "We would have known sooner if you didn't kill the doctor."

Madara growled, "He was looking at my territory."

* * *

"Itachi?"

"Hn?"

Haiku fumbled nervously at the sticky note in her hands. "I'm sorry for initiating you with Kisame's Samehada, twice."

"Why are you sorry?"

"I found out… you had nothing to do with what I thought you had done to deserve the treatment of initiation at such an extreme level."

"Then who? Kola?"

"No, my mother."

"Muki?"

Her voice carried from down the halls, gradually growing fainter. "Kukuku…"

"Yes. She was the one who changed my clothes and gave your sleeping self them. She's also the one who set the baby oil on the nightstand with the lamp."

"Hn…"

"I owe you now."

"I forgive you, but you could always make it up to me…"

Haiku looked up, "We're even now." she said quickly, knowing perfectly well where he was going with all this.

"That we are, but I want you to promise one thing."

"Name it."

"You won't initiate me with Samehada without proper cause and not just because you feel like using it. It will have to be a good reason."

"I promise."

* * *

Everyone sat around the dinner table. Itachi was happy he no longer felt like his lower digestive track had been completely torn apart and could sit down and walk around without any pain.

Hidan for once was completely and utterly silent. No sign of the constant state of cussing, rage, signs of being a lunatic or what seemed like his love of pain. He just sat in the usual side, keeping his eyes to the plate before him, completely silent. He didn't feel any of the usual emotions, only one that told him to shut up and don't dare look at either Haiku or Itachi. He'd never look at Itachi the same way again…

Deidara came in a bit late. Following behind him was Mayhem who had gone missing. The two took their spots. Deidara grinned, "It took a while, but I found Mayhem un!"

"Meow!"

Deidara looked around. It was too quiet around here, the atmosphere seemed so tense. "What did I miss un?"

Sasori with his bored expression turned to Deidara, "It's because of what happened this morning. Most don't want to bring it up."

"What?"

"Hidan."

"Why's he so quiet un?"

"Do you remember when everyone was questioning Itachi's gender and it turned out to be Hidan stuck in the Uchiha's digestive system?" Zetsu waited for the blonde to nod, "**This morning, the only sign of Hidan was a foot that… was sticking out of… uh… **Itachi's ass. **He was used along with Samehada **for the Uchiha's Initiation."

"Oh…"

* * *

Itachi felt Haiku's warmth disappear. "Where are you going?" Itachi mumbled.

"I something I need to do. I have a feeling it will be needed."

"What?"

"Just sleep." Itachi felt her soft lips touch his for what seemed like a split second. "I should get going."

"I'm coming with you." Itachi hadn't even opened his eyes.

"Nah, stay here."

* * *

Flame yawned, the sunrise competing with the flames covering the young dragon. "Where to?"

"Home." Haiku sat on the bend of Flame's arm.

"Why not teleport there?"

"I wanted to have a nice flight there instead."

Flame couldn't help smiling as he took off into the lightening sky.

"How's the family?"

"Not bad at all. It's still freezing cold in the den since the frozen over snow is still there. Mom doesn't seem bothered at all, so Dad's trying to not let it bug him. Diamond and I are the only ones that don't like it one bit. Diamond's cold, even I'm cold!"

"Usually, the summoning realm doesn't get that kind of weather."

"Tell me about it. Anyway, Diamond's been her usual, arrogant self. Dad's growing concerned and very protective over Mom."

"Why?"

"Sometime in the spring, it will hatch and I won't be the youngest anymore!"

"Really?"

"Yeah. We're all excited. I just can't wait until the snow's gone."

"It sounds dreadfully boring to be living in the den."

"You have no clue."

* * *

**Author's Note: I feel so horrible about what I did in this chapter. Why did I have Haiku make Hidan end up there? Little did I know when writing about Haiku's twin, Googala2 pointed it out to me, in the end, even though Madara is more aggressive and so thus is his genes, when it comes down to it, Muki wins over Madara. =O**


	22. Chapter 22: The New Member

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

**Haiku & Kola 2:**

**Relationship Problems**

**Chapter 22: The New Member

* * *

**

**melioko - yup, a little, new dragon. I'm glad to hear there's those who likes the dragons. I was thinking in the very beginning that no one would like them. Muki's always the one who's behind such things. Her alliances are the key to her success and of course, she has Madara as her right hand man and husband for that matter.**

**hisoka-ai9 - I'm sorry for not updating in a while. I've been lacking internet lately since we don't have school for a while. Summer Vacations have their advantages and disadvantages, but I'll do my best to make up for the loss.**

**blaze - You could say it was very uncomfotable and it would be somewhat similar to being pregnant. Not knowing if you're going to hit the baby when you're scooting in at the dinner table. I still don't know what I was thinking when I wrote that though. Yes, Haiku ate her twin after her twin tried to kill and then eat her. Madara knows he doesn't have it as bad as he did with Muki, but he still has to go through similar things and so it's hard not to feel at least a little bit sorry for Itachi. Madara actually killed a lot of doctors while Muki was pregnant if not during the three day labor itself. Thanks, the Finals weren't that bad in the end. In fact, they were kinda boring for some of them. **

**CuttlefishShiz - Thanks for letting me know you liked the chapter even if I was unsure of it.  
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* * *

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Haiku searched through her old backpack she was given by her parents shortly before they had been separated. Inside the smallest pocket, were two vials. With her sharingun, she scanned through it, "It's still good."

This unfortunately wouldn't be enough if Kola were to get it again. It would be able to buy herself enough time to make more of the cure while the Terra Clan's killer would be put at bay. More would be necessary to completely kill it off and save the one who got it.

Haiku took her time to the Life Garden. Here, the plants still grew on regardless of bad or cold weather.

* * *

Pein looked up from the paperwork on his desk. The true leader of the Akatsuki dressed as the idiot running with… Mayhem?

"Welcome the new member of the Akatsuki!"

"It's a cat."

"But it's Mayhem!"

"It's still just a cat."

The Siamese looked up into his eyes. She was wearing a miniature Akatsuki cloak and hat with the ringing charm attached to it.

"Can we keep her?"

"Fine." Pein sighed. "Just take the cat with you."

Konan watched the cat. There was something odd about her...

RING

Pein looked back up to see the person who had appeared before him, crouched down on the desk in what seemed to be the same position as the cat had been in. One hand now held the rim of the hat, while the other stayed on the desk. The clothes she was dressed in now fit her perfectly. The clothing seemed to somehow grow with the shape shifting. She showed her blue eyes and a smile from under the hat, "Thanks Boss."

She jumped off the desk and sat at one of the chairs, playing with the charm.

"Who are you?"

"The new Akatsuki member," She took off the hat completely, "Sonya."

"But I didn't say you could join." Pein looked up at Madara wearing the Tobi mask, pleading with him to erase the spy's mind.

"You just did, Boss."

Madara's look told Pein he was on his own. He had to deal with the new member on his own, whether he wanted to or not. The last time Pein had seen this ninja, she wore a headband on her forehead like so many others did, but now; the headband was gone.

* * *

"Kola, do you know where Haiku went?"

"Stalker, you of all people wanting to ask _me_ where your stalkee is?"

"Yes."

"She's home right now."

"The Uchiha Manor?"

"Not that home. The other home."

"She went back to the clan…"

"Yup! And that's the truth munch much."

"I'll get going then…" Itachi felt a bit depressed. Why couldn't he see her? There was nothing for him to do to keep himself occupied. It just wasn't the same without her. He already began sulking around the base.

"You want to help her with whatever it is that she's doing?"

"You don't know?"

"Zetsu won't tell me and she has the book. He only told me she was in the clan's land."

"Hn."

"You want to go find her?"

Itachi instantly stopped sulking, sadness gone. "Yes."

"Ok!"

-skip

Haiku found the herb she was looking for, picked it and put it in her basket. The plant grew the equivalent of the part Haiku had taken. The plants in this area where so pure and the resources abundant. If an apple were picked, another would grow in its place.

She heard footsteps. She definitely wasn't expecting to see Itachi! Let along him with the ability to find this place! He could easily get lost in a place like this. That's the reason why she was surprised to find out he was able to locate her. "How'd you get here?"

"Kola let me in."

"And showed you were to find me?"

"Zetsu."

"So why are you here?"

"Because you are."

Haiku picked the last of that type of herb before going on to the next ingredient. Itachi followed, not saying anything, just observing what was going on to try and figure it out himself.

* * *

"We might as well give you a tour."

Sonya already knew most of the place herself, but why not get an _official_ tour? "Ok."

* * *

Konan knocked and then opened the door. "This is Kakuzu's room."

Kakuzu looked up from his money counting to gaze suspiciously at the new member, still in the cloak and hat.

Konan offered no explanation to Kakuzu since it was obvious Sonya was new. "You'll have to share a room with someone else until we purchase the items necessary to put in the new rooms."

"How much money _this_ time?" Kakuzu shut and latched up his silver briefcase.

* * *

Pein was still a bit agitated at the prospect of Madara not erasing Sonya's mind. "You can stay in this one."

Konan's look questioned Pein's motives. "This one?"

"Who's this ones?" Sonya's eye caught the charm. She playfully whacked it.

Pein opened it up. Hidan looked up from his ritual. Various pointy objects impaling his vial organs, blood pooling on the floor. Sonya twitched.

"You!" Hidan stood up, blood lazily flowing from the wounds.

"The bloody masochist." Sonya couldn't believe the odds. Why the hell was she supposed to stay in his room? WHY?

"Perhaps someone else would be better." Konan suggested.

"Fine." Pein agreed.

* * *

Kisame greeted the newcomers. He had been wrapping up Samehada in new bandages. Decorating some of the shelves were various ocean stuff. Shells and stuff like that.

* * *

No one was present in Itachi's room. On the nightstand lay a leather bound book. A journal perhaps?

* * *

A puppet opened up the door for them. Sasori sat on his bed, controlling the dark haired, once-had-been-a-human puppet. "Who are you?"

"Sonya." She looked around his room. Puppet pieces and poison canisters on his bed.

"Don't mind the mess. I've been working on this new puppet."

"You're a puppet master?"

Sasori nodded his head. "My art is superior to that of Deidara's. Art should last an eternity."

* * *

Sonya peered around. There was a lump of clay on the desk. Deidara wasn't in the bedroom itself, but in the shower instead. Pein and Konan continued on to the next room. Sonya lightly shut it and ran after them to catch up.

* * *

"Fuwzy Boonie." Kola spun around to see the newcomers. Her mouth was packed with marshmallows.

"Fuwzy **Bunny**." Zetsu looked determined.

Pein spotted the large bag of marshmallows sitting in between the two. "Where'd you get that?"

"Dah sturige ruum." Kola grinned, white paste starting to leak from her lips as a result of the grin.

"We were saving those until the ones in the kitchen were all used up."

"We gut fwirst dips on stoof in dah sturige ruum." Kola wiped off the drool with the sleeve of her jacket. "We ish closest to dah sturige ruum!"

* * *

"These are our rooms." Pein turned back.

"Now where to?" Sonya asked.

"You should either share with someone who has a room to themselves or there is one room that is unoccupied…"

"Can I see it?"

"If you want to."

* * *

Sonya watched the door swing open. The lights were turned on, revealing all kinds of scientific research junk as far as Sonya was concerned. A few test tubes showed some kind of baby snake that had apparently been growing in there before it simply died. It smelt too much of snakes for her liking. "I'll pass." Sonya turned out the light and shut the door in a big hurry, as if something was going to come back to life and attack.

"Sasori." Pein stated.

"Huh?"

"You're going to share his room."

"Will he be ok with that?"

"Yes."

* * *

"…I give up…"

"Give up on what?"

"I don't know what you're doing." Itachi was distracted by a crane carrying a tool to Haiku. "Can you tell me?"

Haiku smiled. "I can."

"Will you?"

"Eventually."

"May I know? Now?"

"It's a type of medicine. I have a feeling it will be needed again."

"For what?"

"I only have enough from last time to delay it for a few days. With what I'm making, it should be enough to get rid of it completely."

"Ok… But what is it for?"

"If Kola gets sick again."

"But I thought she can't get sick."

"She can't get sick from anything, but for what this cure is for."

"Why not just tell me what it is?"

"It has no name."

"Why is this important?"

Haiku looked over at Itachi, "This is the cure the whole clan was looking for."

"Didn't they find it?"

"I was the creator of this cure. When I made it, I didn't know what I had stumbled across and gave it to Kola, hoping it might do some good. She was the only one who got the cure… I almost lost her…"

"I'm sorry Haiku."

"I just have that feeling Kola will need it and I won't be able to make it for her. I'm making it in advance, just in case."

"How would you know?"

"It's just a little thought in the back of my mind saying she might end up needing it. She doesn't know that's why I'm here and I intend to keep it like that."

"Does Zetsu know?"

"Yes. We all had nightmares caused by Nikku. Kola only had one because she apparently kicked him out. Zetsu was bugged a few times, but I was sent the most. Nikku apparently decided on wanting to get rid of me first."

"Why?"

"He thinks I don't deserve to be a Terra member. I have grown more like a Terra member because I'm so close to Kola. Some of the traits have rubbed off on me, but not all or completely for that matter. I don't mind though. Believe it or not, I don't mind getting sick once a year. Nikku said he wants to make my life a living hell before he finishes me off. He wants to get rid of those precious to me other than Zetsu and Kola. Then he might go after Zetsu since his parents were 'too relaxed' and liked being however it was that they wanted to be like. Or look however they wanted to look like. Zetsu was just born like how he looks today as a result of his parents messing around with their DNA and making themselves look wild and crazy the night that led to Kumori being pregnant with him if you know what I mean."

"So he thinks Zetsu isn't a pureblooded clan member because of what he looks like?"

"Zetsu is better in plants than healing. He can heal himself without even thinking about it like most members, but he can't heal others. He's also a cannibal."

"Hn… And Kola?"

"I'm guessing it's just because she survived the killer he designed that was supposed to be so unstoppable."

"That's stupid."

"That's Nikku for ya."

"Did you make it correctly?"

"Yup. A perfect match to the original medicine I had made."

"Good."

* * *

"Haiku, why doesn't the TV turn on?"

"It's the middle of winter."

"Why would that matter?"

"Most of our electricity comes from solar power. The other small percentage of the power we get is from water and wind. Using those elements is enough for stuff like the fridge, stove, water heater and we used to not be able to get light."

"Why not anything else?"

"Like I said, most of our energy is solar power. The leaves on the houses are what gather the solar energy. The only reason why we get so much stuff powered nowadays is because this household is the only one using the electricity."

"What do you and Kola do around here for entertainment?"

"All kinds of things. Every year we have a basket weaving competition in the winter."

"Are you the only two who live around here?"

"Yes. We didn't know Zetsu was even alive until we first met him at the hotel."

"That sounds like a boring lifestyle."

"Only in the winter."

"How long are we staying here?"

"Just for the night. Tomorrow I want to visit my dragons and you get to meet the rest of them."

"Are they overprotective of you?"

"Depends on which one. Why?"

"Just wondering."

"Are you getting hungry?"

"A little bit. What are we having for dinner?"

"We can look around."

"You can decide. I don't mind."

"If you're sure."

"Yeah." Itachi looked around the kitchen. "Where's the bathroom?"

"Fourth floor."

"What floor are we on?"

"Just go up one floor."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

* * *

Madara thought through his plan. If he did this and put her in check, then it would be taken out by that piece, then with this other piece, he'd take out that piece, taking out the best piece and putting her in checkmate. That sounded like it would work… He just needed to make sure he made his moves carefully.

Madara made his move. Muki peered at him suspiciously. She moved her queen, capturing his rook and costing Madara his pants.

Muki smirked. So far, she seemed to be winning. Here, she still had her underclothes and pants while Madara only had his boxers. Just one more move and he'd be the victorious one…

Madara carefully picked up his piece and took out her queen. He smirked back, she would be naked and also having lost the game.

Muki twitched. Without looking up from the board, Madara caught the king that had been hurled at his nose. He set it back in its spot, only to catch a pawn. He set it back in its spot at the edge of the table. "Checkmate."

* * *

Kola carefully opened up the door. She poked her head in the dark doorway, wavy brown hair swaying as she tilted her head to get a good look around.

"**No one's in there.**"

Kola jumped at the voice. She thought no one knew where she was let alone what she was doing. She turned around, "I know that."

Zetsu smirked, "Now you do."

She snaked her hand around the doorway and flicked on the light switch. "See? No one there." Kola walked in. Zetsu closed the door behind him.

"What are you up to **this time?**"

"Just looking around."

"**For what?**"

Kola gasped, "Lookie Zetsu! They made the baby!"

"Hm?" Zetsu went to get a good look at what Kola was pointing at.

"See? I told you so! I knew all along they were trying to make the baby!" Kola frantically pointed at the small seedling.

"**It's an apple seedling.**"

"It is **not**." Kola took a closer look at the small little plant. "See? It has her eyes."

Zetsu only blinked a few times.

"They're still closed, but those are definitely her eyes."

"Didn't you say something about the plant that is created… **When it matures, it is what produces the baby?**"

Kola blushed just the slightest bit, "Of course. I knew that. I didn't forget about that. _No_."

"But of course. Kola _never_ forgets these things."

The blush went completely away. "Zetsu. You're a guy."

"**Yeah.**"

"How long will it take until the baby will come from this plant?"

"It takes a baby nine months to develop and somewhere at the end of the nine months, the baby will be born."

"Aw… I wanted to see who the baby looked more like…"

"**I don't think there would be an answer to that question.**"

"Why not?"

"They look the same."

"Zetsu, what will happen now? The soil is dry!"

"**Water it.**"

"Zetsu! How could you?"

"Just get some water and water it."

"But it's Itachi's job to keep it watered!"

"**Why does he need to be the one to water it?**"

"He's the father, so he has to be the only one to water it with the daddy water!"

"Sink water will be fine for this apple seedling."

"But if you water it, then both of you would be the father of Haiku's child!"

"**You better remind Itachi when he gets back with Haiku then.**"

"Doesn't it need to be watered _now_?"

"It will be fine. **We should get going.**"

* * *

Haiku looked around the kitchen, trying to figure out what to make for dinner. On the counter lay a loaf of bread. She investigated it, seeing something fuzzy looking covering the loaf. It had a bluish-greenish tint to it. Haiku's eyes widened, MOLD.

Haiku lifted the tray that contained the moldy bread, carrying it to the sliding door, going outside and dropping only the loaf on the big branch. The birds wouldn't mind.

Haiku shut the door behind her in the way back in. That bread had been made by Kola for once. When the bread was homemade, it was usually Haiku that would end up making it. It had taken so long to convince Kola to make that bread only for it to become moldy while they had been gone for so long.

"Hn… Now what?"

* * *

Itachi had noticed with the floors, they had been no barrier from the stair and the room itself. It made Itachi wonder if this clan understood the term 'privacy' very well if at all. He was beginning to wonder about the bathrooms. When he got there, there was indeed a wall in between the stairs and the room itself.

Itachi opened up the door and was amazed by the white tile work. To tell the truth, Itachi was expecting to see wood grain floor and walls, but this room wasn't anything of the sort.

* * *

Itachi was about to leave when he noticed something a bit odd. The tiles his eyes had originally been drawn to had been pure white, but there were spots where the tiles had been turned a grayish white. Some were darker than others.

He reached out and touched the darkened tiles. There was no doubt the tiles were clean, but the texture was a bit different than the pure white tiles. He looked up, how odd… Even the ceiling was covered by tiles with the exception of the lighting fixtures.

* * *

Itachi looked carefully at the dinner's choices. A big bowl of fruit salad had been made and then there was a stir-fry. Something seemed to be missing from here.

"What's wrong?" Haiku was about to devour a green grape.

"Where's the meat?"

Haiku looked puzzled. "But we ate meat yesterday."

"Yesterday, but not today. We have the options of fruit and vegetables. What else is being served with this?"

Haiku blinked a few times, "Did you want rice with this?"

Itachi frowned, "Where's the meat?"

"We don't have any meat in the kitchen." Haiku looked down, "Where's my manners? I should have asked…"

"You don't even have any meat in the freezer?"

"Not usually."

"Most families have meat with dinner."

"I have had to stick to the diet of the Terra Clan for a very long time Itachi. I forgot the normal person doesn't like to have meat only once a week." Haiku still felt ashamed, "Do you want me to run over to the Leaf Village, buy a meat of your choice and quickly cook it up? I can if you want me to."

"What's wrong with you?"

"A lot of things are wrong with me."

"Why are you so depressed?"

"I'm sorry dinner isn't what you might have wanted to eat tonight."

"Haiku."

"What?"

"Why. Are. You. So. Depressed?"

"You do know you're the first person to eat here other than Kola and I since we were fourteen."

"What?"

"We haven't had any visitors for five years. Zetsu is the only one, but even then, you've stayed here longer."

"But he lived in this clan."

"He did as he was told and fled five years ago."

"Surely this isn't why you're suddenly depressed?"

"You're the first guest this tree has had in a long time, the food isn't satisfactory, both my clans are dead even though it's not like I'd completely miss one of the two, I consumed my twin and if my parents could have chosen which they would have wanted, they would have liked the traits of my sister more than my own and so I am the one that survived, but not wanted as much as a daughter."

"What the hell are you talking about? Kola's the only sister you have, you said so yourself. You're parents love you. What clan is it that you don't miss that much?"

"Sadly it is my birth clan. I don't feel like I have ties to them since the Senju weren't the only ones that wanted me dead."

"You mean our clan tried to kill you?"

"Why do you think the population of our clan went down so much when I was still with my parents? The clan turned on my parents and it was no longer Muki's duty to protect a clan who wanted to harm her only daughter. They wouldn't let anyone who tried to kill me survive for very long."

"What about the boys you wanted to save from your father from killing them the day you unlocked the Sharingan?"

"I wasn't that blind. Dad secretly killed them one by one, making it seem as if it was unintentional and wasn't linked to my parents in any way, shape or form."

"I thought you didn't have a sister other than Kola."

"A sister sharing the same family lineage as I… Nikku unlocked a hidden memory from even myself from when I was in Muki's womb."

"You have a memory from then?"

"She was there. She tried to kill me because we were both so hungry and had to share equally. She didn't like that and decided to try and kill me. The tables turned and she was the one who died. Itachi, I ate her."

"What was her name?"

"She doesn't have one."

"What was she like?"

"Everyone would have liked to have her be the only daughter of Madara and Muki instead of me except the Terra Clan who loved peace and you."

"That's a lie."

"She was the daughter my parents would rather have. She's the heir of leadership of the clan the Uchiha would rather have. She wouldn't have been bullied. She wouldn't have been separated from Mother and Father. The only difference is there would have been a chance Nikku wouldn't have killed the clan or Zetsu would have been the only survivor. Kola would have died."

"How is it that Madara and Muki would have wanted her as a daughter?"

"Two masters of torture and war tyrants at that would have wanted an ambitious child to follow along in their footsteps. Madara wanted a son, but Muki wanted a daughter in her image. Madara would have ended up with a daughter either way. Madara wanted a child he could conquest with. I was a major pacifist, she's the _exact_ opposite."

"If she's your opposite, then what about her mind? Her strategic thinking?"

"That is where I would win."

"Why would our clan want her instead?"

"She isn't the type who would let herself get bullied and possibly killed because of not having the thought of their deaths on her mind. She was the type who would have gladly joined in any fight and kill them all."

"Did you see what she would have looked like?"

"Instead of wearing black, she wears white. My hair has a few curls, her hair has a few spikes. I am a pacifist, she's aggressive. I have the brains, she has rage. I don't care for war, she loves it. She's more serious and less forgiving. I doubt she would have decided on wearing a blindfold…"

"It's better you were the one to be Haiku. Being smart is better than being aggressive and led around by rage."

"You're also saying that because you possibly _fear_ her?"

"No. I'd rather have you sharing my bed than her."

Haiku's eyes narrowed suspiciously at Itachi.

* * *

**Author's Note: Dun dun duuunnn. Sonya's a member now. Is that good or bad? Itachi's getting better at cheering Haiku up, for the most part that is.**

**I've actually been planning out the ideas for the next chapter for some time now. Not a lot of it, but mainly small details about one of the major events in the chapter. I wonder how everyone will like the next chapter? Chapter 23: Entering the Dragon Den.**


	23. Chapter 23: Entering the Dragon Den

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

**Haiku & Kola 2:**

**Relationship Problems **

**Chapter 23: Entering the Dragon Den

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**melioko - Even I'm surprised how close the two have become. One minute, they don't remember each other very well when they were young and now look how close they are! *Sniff* I feel like I've gotten really far with their relationship.**

**blaze - Zetsu's going to have a whole lot of problems to deal with when it comes to 'making the baby'. Just imagine if she finds out. Guess who she'll want to do that with? If Muki won instead of Madara... wow that could go anywhere and yes I know what you're hinting at. ^_^ How odd. You don't like math and yet I do, but I dislike english.**

**hisoka-ai9 - I'm going to do the best I can to update. I did the best i could to finish this chapter as fast as I could seeing how I missed a few updates and I still have internet access for now.  
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Itachi couldn't get to sleep. It was at least one in the morning. Taking a lit candle with him, Itachi explored the tree. Going down two floors, he came across another bathroom. He opened up the door, just wanting to see if it was like the 4th floor's bathroom.

This one also had pure white tiled floors, but the ceiling and walls had the usual wood grain look to it. The tiles present here didn't have the darkened color to them like the other bathroom's. Hn.

Not wanting to go too far downstairs, Itachi headed back upstairs. When he climbed two floors, he looked into the room, seeing Haiku comfortably sleeping in her bed. Good, he didn't wake her up when he had slipped out of bed.

It took him a while to understand what was occupying the floor above Haiku's bedroom. He held the candle close to the wall when he realized this was a wall of stuffed animals. The ceilings in this tree were higher than most places. Each floor's ceiling were what he was guessing sixteen feet high. The stuffed animals reached twelve feet high. What was going on with this room?

Itachi climbed up one more floor to find out he had indeed reached the very top of the tree house. The room was smaller, being at the top and all. This one had an excellent view of the stars and their happened to be a few telescopes. Unlike most floors, this room had more windows than walls, but the windows were broken up into sections where the walls snaked between long panels of glass.

What was this room? Was it simply used for stargazing or was it to spy on others in the mornings?

"I knew I'd find you up here."

Itachi turned around. "What are you doing awake?"

"Making sure you didn't get lost."

"You looked like you were dead asleep."

"I was until your warmth completely disappeared."

"Sorry. I couldn't sleep." Itachi looked out one of the windows.

"The best view in the house."

"What is this room for?"

"Stargazing."

"That's it?"

"Yup. Every tree used as a home eventually possesses a stargazing room at the top."

"What do you mean eventually?"

"They keep growing. When the tree is as tall as this one, then a stargazing room is grown at the very top. The oldest of homes have a stargazing room every fifty floors. The fiftieth floor always has a stargazing room. When it gets to one hundred, it is yet another stargazing room."

"Hn."

"What?"

"I was just wondering… Why is it that the fourth floor bathroom has tiles completely covering any spot were there would be wood grain except the door and yet the other bathrooms aren't as tiled?"

"That one was specially modified."

"Why?"

"They covered that bathroom with extra tiles a few months after I joined this clan."

"Why? Did the lock you up in there like an insane asylum?"

"It was because pretty much the whole clan feared I would start some giant forest fire from practicing using fire. Everyone but Kola, her parents, Zetsu and his parents. It was the only place the elders claimed I could practice using fire and made sure it would be just about impossible to catch the tree on fire with the extra tile work. They decided on leaving the door how it was."

"Is that why some tiles were darker than others?"

"Yes."

"They said if you wanted to work with fire, you had to do so in the bathroom."

"In _only_ that bathroom or not at all."

* * *

Sonya stretched out as a cat before transforming back to her human form. Sasori had been very nice and said she could have the bed, but instead, Sonya had decided on sleeping in cat form so she didn't kick Sasori out of his own bed. She stuck to the very end of the bed.

Walking down the halls to the kitchen seemed so much different when a human instead of a cat. The views of the halls were a bit different because of her height, but it was something she needed to get used to. Sonya couldn't help smiling since she basically knew her way around this place already.

She thought back on last night's dinner. It was surprisingly calm, but she couldn't blame the Akatsuki members to be a bit cautious towards her. It's not like a cat who is brought into the Akatsuki as a pet turns out to be a spy (they don't know about that, only how she was in charge of torturing for info at the Leaf) and manages to join the Akatsuki because Muki decides Madara can't erase her memory and was the one who told Madara to dress the cat up and show her to Pein.

Other than that, it had been a very quiet day and night. Sonya shrugged her shoulders; it wasn't her to judge on how S-Ranked Rouge Ninja behaved. Maybe there was something good to eat for breakfast. It just better not be something disgusting like fish.

* * *

When Itachi awoke, the sun was up and Haiku was gone. The spot where she had been laying felt slightly warm. She must have left only recently. He sat up, stretched out and then rubbed his eyes. He hadn't even noticed the crane sitting on the nightstand until it fluttered up, flew over and landed on his shoulder.

"What?"

"You want to know where Haiku is?" Itachi identified this crane as the same exact on who was Haiku's second-in-command. The voice wasn't Haiku's, but the voice of that crane who obviously didn't like him last time they met.

"Yes."

"Well too bad. Last time we fought against Kola, I got the army organized and ready to strike when she took you out. We were going to fight for you, but you needed to make sure Kola didn't finish you off in less than ten seconds."

"It was longer than that."

"You fail."

"Why are you talking to me if you obviously don't like me?"

"Haiku told me to wait for when you woke up."

"And have you tell me where she is?"

The crane growled, "Yes, Incompetent Ass."

"Isn't that Madara?"

"You're Haiku's very own Incompetent Ass." The crane didn't sound too pleased.

"Where is she?"

"Third floor."

"Thanks."

* * *

Sonya read over the scroll. Her first mission as an Akatsuki member was to go with Sasori. He was going to be meeting one of his spies and so the leader wanted her to come with Sasori. "Sounds boring." Sonya rolled back up the scroll.

"There's not much I'm going to be doing. We'll be back later on today."

"What's the point of me coming too? I could be taking a cat nap instead of going on a pointless mission."

"It's not pointless. I need to get an update from my spy and Pein thinks it would be best if you were to come with me instead of Deidara."

"Why not let Deidara come too?"

"He wants you to go on an easy mission for your first one and I wouldn't doubt he's a bit curious about how well you'll do on the missions we usually get."

"When are we going?"

"As soon as we're both ready." Sasori opened up Hikuro and climbed in.

Sonya grabbed her stuff, throwing on her cloak and hat. "Ready."

Sasori's voice was lower now. "Good. I don't like to be kept waiting."

* * *

"Where are we going?"

"This will most likely be your first time going to the summoning realm."

"How are we getting there?"

"Teleporting." I looked over at him. "Don't worry, you won't get sick."

"Why are we going there?"

"Frost is expecting, I haven't visited them in a while, and Zetsu thought it might be a good idea if you were to come with me."

"She's expecting us to show up or is she having a baby?"

"She's having a baby dragon." I picked up the book, "I'll be right back."

"Where are you going?"

"Akatsuki base for a minute."

* * *

I knocked at the door. Kola opened it up, "Haiku!"

"I don't need it right now. Your turn to keep it for a while."

"I didn't know you made the baby with Itachi!"

"What?"

Kola pulled me in and shut the door. "We saw it."

"What are you talking about? I'm a virgin!"

"What's that?"

"I've never had sex!"

"But you don't need to make the baby."

"…" Facepalm.

"We found the plant that's going to produce little Itachi Jr."

I blinked slowly a few times. "What plant?"

"The one Zetsu keeps calling an apple seedling!"

"That's all it is."

"You better make sure Stalker waters it with his Daddy Water again. The soil is dry."

Facepalm. "Look, Itachi and I are going to the Summoning Realm to visit my dragons if you need me. Frost is pregnant."

Kola nodded her head, though she forgot what pregnant meant again.

"It means she's going to have a baby."

"_Ooohhhh._"

"See ya."

"Wait!"

"What?"

"Where's the mommy seed?"

"Bye Kola. I'll see you later."

"But tell me Haiku! I want to know!"

* * *

"That took longer than a minute."

"Kola was being… Kola."

"What happened?"

"She thought we 'made the baby.'"

"We didn't."

"I told her I'm a virgin."

"Does she even know what that is?"

"I told her and she claimed you don't need to have sex to make the baby."

"She's strange."

"I know that, but the clan wanted to make sure she didn't know how to get pregnant."

Itachi smirked.

I created a fire rose. "By using this way, you won't get sick afterwards."

"You sure?"

"Yes." I opened up the rose, pulling Itachi in with me. I closed the rose back up and created a tunnel that was more like a slide linking here with the Summoning Realm. "After you."

"Ladies first."

"Fine." I grabbed his hand, pulling him in after me.

* * *

I plopped onto frozen over snow. Itachi, being a little bit behind me came flying out of the tunnel, landed on me. The jutsu faded behind him. Itachi got up, offering a hand to me. "That was fun." It looked like he was about to smile, but he became straight faced again with the arrival of a light green dragon.

"Hi, Willow."

She curled up, "Hello Haiku. It's been a while since I've last seen you around these parts."

"This is my boyfriend Itachi."

She smiled, "Finally got yourself a boyfriend eh? I thought I'd never see the day."

"Is this one of your dragons?" Itachi asked.

"No, I'm not." There seemed to be a bit of amusement in the dragon's voice. "It would be a bit awkward if I was."

"Why?"

"Willow has a big crush on Flame." I replied.

Willow's bright blue eyes examined Itachi. "Isn't he from the Uchiha Clan?"

"Yes. He's Fugaku and Mikoto's oldest son."

"Wasn't Fugaku the last leader of the Uchiha Clan before the Massacre?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry to hear about the Uchiha Massacre. I really am. It must have been hard to know everyone in the clan had been killed. All except Itachi, Sasuke, Madara and yourself. Would Muki be considered an Uchiha since her clan was merged with the Uchiha?"

"Depends on how you look at it."

"Haiku, aren't you related to him?" Willow innocently asked.

"How?"

"I don't know the Uchiha family lineage that well. It just the fact that all clans start at one point or another. In Ninja Clans, people with a common trait like the sharingan are all linked together anyway. It's just a thought, so don't mind it. Besides, even if you two were related, there would most likely be enough generations of separation for it to not matter. I was just amazed by how much he looks like you."

"…"

"Are you mad at me?" Willow lifted her head, looking towards the hills. "Kakashi's Ninja Hounds are making their daily walk towards here in their pack."

"I doubt Kakashi knows I'm a rouge now let along apart of the Akatsuki. It would be easier if we weren't seen by the dogs." I sighed. "Itachi, we should get moving."

"It's. so. cold." Itachi shivered.

"I'll give you a ride." Willow uncurled.

"Come on Itachi." I pulled him by the hand. "Thanks for the ride." I had to pull Itachi up to the spot we were going to be sitting for the ride.

"It's no problem. Tell your parents and Magma's family hi for me."

"Will do." I replied.

Willow flew in the direction of the dragon den belonging to Magma and Frost. The Ninja Hounds were mere specks on the horizon.

* * *

Itachi pointed at the den's opening. "I expected it to be bigger."

"It is." We walked up to the opening. "Follow me."

We jumped into the den. Itachi grew wide eyed at how deep the snow actually was. "How big is the opening usually?"

"One hundred feet high and about sixty feet wide."

"It didn't look that wide before we came in."

"The opening is like an arch. The spot were we came in was merely seven feet wide."

"Does the Summoning Realm always get this much snow and then get frozen over?"

"No. This is the first time I've ever seen this much snow here."

"You didn't seem surprised by it."

"Flame told me about it when I summoned him last time."

"What's the deepest you've ever seen it at?"

"Once it was at forty feet. Now it's at ninety feet. Something wrong is going on around here."

Itachi had stopped shivering, "It's warmer in here."

"Uh huh. Now we just need to find them."

Itachi followed me to a deeper chamber. I signaled him to be quiet and we hid, watching what was going on.

* * *

A dragon with brown eyes and coloring that could match that of lava pinned down a pure black dragon, her black eyes looking up defiantly at the bigger dragon. She squirmed around, but was unable to get free.

"You have lost."

"I will not give up." The black dragon continued to squirm and scratch at the other dragon.

Flame looked a bit amused, "Diamond, it's pointless. Just give up."

"I still have a chance."

The larger dragon growled, "You need to learn to be less arrogant. Those scales of yours can't protect you from everything."

"You're one to talk. You're just as if not more arrogant than the one who first summoned you!"

"Enough." The dragon growled. "You shall not ever disrespect him." Molten lava dripped down the jaws of the larger dragon, dripping on Diamond's neck.

"What is this?" The few drops of lava burned through the scales in which they landed.

"That is pain." The older dragon let go of Diamond. The lava had disappeared on the older dragon's jaws. His teeth were pure white like the rest of the dragons Itachi had met.

Itachi felt Haiku lace her fingers with his own. She brought him before the dragons.

"Who is this?" The dragon with brown eyes ominously questioned.

"This is Itachi Uchiha. Itachi, this is Magma." Haiku had a smile on her face.

Itachi had the same feeling as when they were younger and he had first met Madara. The intimidating look, ominous aura, the feeling of being prey to the other, the feeling of himself shrinking before the deadly male wanting to protect Haiku from everything and anything. Itachi felt like he needed to get out of here. Everything around him was fading, it was only him and Magma. Magma who was reminding Itachi of Madara.

Haiku shook him by the shoulders. He could see her moving her lips, but he couldn't hear her. Seeing this dragon was making him feel more afraid than Madara, but when he met Madara, Muki was making sure Madara behaved and didn't attack. This dragon was going to kill him. Itachi only felt this afraid when Madara was going to make him pay for simply being friends with Haiku. Madara wanted him dead, but Muki and Haiku were the ones who made sure he was safe.

But what could anyone do if this dragon decided he'd rather see a dead Itachi?

Itachi suddenly folded over in excruciating pain, his eyes watering up. What just happened?

Haiku stood above him, her arms crossed. "Have you snapped out of it yet?"

Itachi looked up at her, "What'd you do?"

"I kicked you." Haiku turned her head towards Magma, "Try to stop acting like Dad, it's scaring him. Itachi, please do me a favor and don't act like a mindless zombie, it's irritating."

"Why'd you kick me?"

"Mom kicks what she dislikes, I kick what irritates me."

"How was I irritating?"

"Spacing out on everything except Magma and not coming back to the full reality."

* * *

"So who are these dragons?" Itachi was feeling a whole lot better.

"You already know Frost." Haiku pointed at the pure white dragon, "That is Magma, her mate." She pointed at the one Itachi was so afraid of earlier. "You already know Flame, and that's his older sister, Diamond." She pointed at the black dragon who was sulking in the corner.

"Diamond was talking about Magma's original summoner, who was she talking about?"

"You haven't guessed yet?"

"No. I'd rather not."

"Flame is the dragon I have a higher tendency of summoning, but Magma was summoned by my father, Madara. Magma was Madara's favorite to summon."

"Ma-Madara?"

"Yes."

To Itachi, that all made perfect sense now. How Madara looked down on him as if he were prey when he was younger and how this dragon had looked as if it were going to rip his head off of his shoulders. This dragon was just like the person who summoned him. "Hn."

"It's good to see you again Haiku." Magma's voice rumbled.

"It's good to see everyone at once again. Oh yes, Willow wanted to say 'hi.'"

Flame smirked, "You're now dating the twin?"

Haiku smirked back, "A little birdie told me she has a monster crush on you."

Magma growled, "You're _dating_ him?"

Haiku innocently smiled, "Yes."

"Don't you remember me telling you about him?" Frost rubbed up against Magma.

"I still don't like it." Magma growled.

"It isn't our choice who her mate is."

"Madara's fine with this?" Magma snarled.

"As much as he'll ever be. Muki's fine with us dating, but it's not like Itachi proposed to marry me." Haiku sat down on the rock hard ground.

Frost curled up, "Magma, there's something wrong." The white dragon looked like she was in pain. Frost gasped, "It's coming out early."

Magma's eyes grew wide, "It isn't even close to time for it to hatch."

"I never said it was a live birth." Frost's face scrunched up.

Flame scooped up both Haiku and Itachi, bringing them into a different chamber, "It would be best if you two weren't present."

"What's going on?" Itachi questioned.

"Complications in Mom's pregnancy." Flame settled down in the center of the chamber, "The egg is coming out. You wouldn't know this, but our kind of dragons have the option of live birth as she was referring to or laying an egg and watching over it until it hatches. It is easier for her to have a live birth even though she said it was very painful giving birth to us, a dragon with scales as hard as diamond and then later on, a dragon of fire."

"How bad can it be to have a fire dragon?"

"She's an ice dragon Itachi."

"When would it originally be hatching?"

"Sometime in spring. She won't have to worry about keeping the new member of the family safe because not only is there her, but Dad is extremely fierce and most who would want to try and steal dragon eggs would be too terrified of him."

"Anyone in their right mind would be." Itachi mumbled.

"Not everyone Itachi." Haiku objected.

"I am."

"He wouldn't hurt you because you could say, you are under my protection. He is extremely loyal to Dad, and he's also loyal to me. He wouldn't harm you."

Diamond poked her head in, "You can come back now."

* * *

**Author's Note: So what'd you think of Diamond and Magma?**


	24. Chapter 24: A Father's Rage

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

**Haiku & Kola 2:**

**Relationship Problems**

**Chapter 24: A Father's Rage

* * *

**

**hisoka-ai9 : I like the dragons too. Each one of these has traits that make them different from the other ones. It's like every other being. *watches clouds floating by***

**melioko : So you like the second-in-command? It'll be hard to get rid of that crane. I'll most likely keep him throughout the entire story. I don't think Haiku would like picking a replacement. *sees bunny out of clouds*  
**

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* * *

**

Everyone who left returned to the large chamber in which Frost was in. I pulled Itachi with me to see the egg. It's beautiful blue shell had different shades of blue and blue green mixes within it. It reminded me of the deep ocean underwater where the water was nice and clear for the most part.

The egg was slightly bigger than me and I couldn't even get my arms around it! "About time one is going to be more like me." Frost had a sleepy eyed smile. She curled around the egg, keeping it warm and protected. "But she's going to be gigantic like her father."

"Hey!" Magma frowned, "The egg isn't _that_ big."

"She's going to be a fast grower. It's easy to tell by the size of the egg." She rested her head on the ground, "It's not like you had to push her out."

"Mom," Flame paused, "You don't know if the new sibling is going to be a girl or boy."

"I'd rather call her a she instead of 'it' until we find out for sure."

* * *

Sonya yawned for the twenty-fifth time so far during the mission. "When's he coming here?"

"Noon." Sasori replied.

"But it **is** noon."

"Here he is." Sasori motioned towards the cloaked figure coming towards them.

Sonya identified this person with the dark hood covering most of his face as Kabuto. A young woman showed up wearing a dark blue cloak with a hood attached to it appeared out of nowhere. Her lips met Kabuto's. Right before she disappeared as soon as she had come, Sonya could have heard one thing from her, "Squee."

Kabuto stood there, stunned.

"Who was that?" Sasori demanded.

"I don't know. To tell the truth, I've never seen her before in my life."

"Back to business, what has Orochimaru been up to?"

"He's become intrigued with this man who in return for help from Lord Orochimaru, he's offering many great things."

"What kind of things?"

Kabuto took a deep breath. "A perfect immortal body to reside in. This man claims he can make it exactly how Lord Orochimaru wants it to be like."

"Who is this stranger?"

"He claims to be of a clan from legend. I don't believe him nor do I trust him. Nevertheless, his skills are interesting."

"An example?"

"Being able to cause and control nightmares."

* * *

Itachi watched as Magma curled up near Frost. It was like the dragon finally decided on letting him live. "Haiku."

"Huh?"

"Did you ever finish with whatever it was you were doing with my sharingan?"

Haiku's eyes widened, "Yes, sorry about that. I forgot all about it!" Haiku performed a few hand signs, pulling out a scroll. "Hold still."

"What are you doing?"

"Giving it back." Haiku extracted the wisps out of the scroll and put them securely back where they belonged. "Blink."

Itachi did as she said.

"Now activate it."

Itachi complied. Itachi could feel his sharingan activate. He could tell it was more powerful than before she had taken it. "What did you do? Why is it so much better now?"

She got rid of the now empty scroll. "Now you won't ever have to worry about losing your eyesight from the sharingan."

"What exactly did you do?"

"You're eyes are now at the same level mine were originally born at."

"The Internal Mangekyo Sharingan?"

Haiku smiled, "Yes Itachi-kun."

* * *

"Do you know who this person he was talking about?" Sonya felt bored out of her mind. Sasori just had to be a slow traveler while in his puppet. Either that, or he just felt like taking his time.

"No."

"What do you think Orochimaru is doing to help this person?"

"It could be anything."

"Do you know what clan he was talking about?"

"I'm tempted to say we should ask those two healers. They might know something."

"What are we doing after this?"

Sasori stopped in his tracks. The bell on Sonya's charm rang out as she stopped too. The squad of patrolling Sound Ninja stopped nearby and paused for just the briefest amount of time before speeding off again. They took one more step when the sound of metal hitting metal sounded near the two Akatsuki members. Sonya turned her head enough to see behind them, Sasori's scorpion tail had appeared from under the Akatsuki cloak to block the two kunai that had been aimed at their backs.

The squad of Sound Ninja were back, each holding a kunai at the ready position. "Who are you?" The leader of the squad questioned in his menacing way.

"…" Sasori kept quiet.

"Are you deaf? Who are you?"

"It's best to not get in my way." Sasori mumbled.

"Identify yourselves or prepare to die."

"…"

The leader gave a nod to the other members of the squad. Sonya performed her hand signs of one of her clan's specialty jutsu. "Shadow Strangle Jutsu." A shadow hand wrapped around each Sound Ninja's neck. Here, Sonya paused, wanting to know if that was what Sasori wanted to do with them.

"Go ahead."

* * *

Sonya and Kola were chatting about how their day was going when Sonya heard the footsteps of Haiku and Itachi. Sonya smiled, "Watch this."

Kola nodded, a curious look on her tan face.

"Magma's not that bad when you get to know him." Haiku said.

"Unless he wants to kill you before you get the chance to get to know him." Itachi replied.

"He's not going to kill you."

"He's just as bad as your father."

"Nah."

Sonya muttered under her breath, "Mind Transfer Jutsu." Sonya's body went limp. Kola used her chakra to make Sonya sit up straight and act as if nothing had happened even though Kola didn't know too much about this jutsu.

Haiku stopped walking and turned so she was face to face with Itachi. "There's something I've been wanting to tell you for some time now."

"What?"

"…I want you to father my children…" Haiku blushed.

Itachi smirked, "Is that so?"

"Of course, Itachi-kun."

Itachi lifted Haiku up bridal style, carrying her off.

Kola stood there, holding back the laughter; still holding Sonya up like a puppet. Sonya came back to her own body; Kola noticing this, released her chakra's control of the brunet.

They strained to hear off in the distance, "What the hell Itachi?"

SLAP

Kola and Sonya burst up in laughter. It didn't take long for Kola to be rolling around on the floor, tears forming at the edges of her eyes.

Kola looked up, wiping the corners of her eyes with her sleeves; to see Haiku coming back in, frown on her face, arms crossed. "She's angry!"

Haiku only glared at Kola before going back to what she had previously wanted to do before Sonya had used the Mind Transfer Jutsu.

Itachi entered the kitchen, a red imprint of a hand on his pale cheek, "Haiku, please listen to me, I wasn't lying when I told you why. You said so yourself, you wanted me to father your children."

"Why would I say that? I don't _want_ children."

"You don't _ever_ want children?"

"I'd at least be married."

* * *

Sasori sat up. The little nap did some good in leaving him more awake. Glancing at the clock, he got up now knowing it was time everyone ate dinner. As he walked down the hall, a ringing sound followed him. Sasori stopped in his tracks, looking all around for the source of the ringing, but there was no one else even in this particular section of the passageways.

He started walking again only for the ringing to start up again. Once again, he stopped and looked around. Nothing. Taking a few more steps, the ringing of bells followed. Sasori stopped, feeling around his Akatsuki cloak to see if the source of the sounds was on him. Nope. Taking another three steps was rewarded by more ringing.

Standing still in the hallway, he unbuttoned his cloak all the way. He'd be amazed if this was what was going on. From there, he opened up the compartment where his insides used to be when he had been human. Bells, balls, balls with bells inside them and random cat toys fell out onto the floor.

Sasori couldn't help laughing about the whole matter. That Sonya was something else…

* * *

Kola waited until Haiku had left the room before putting her little plan to work. It wasn't really a plan, it was just something to make the day a bit more interesting. Kola's lips pulled into a wide grin, "Did you know Haiku made the baby?"

The whole room went silent. Kola knew just from that one sentence, she had caught the attention of everyone else. Madara, who ate by making the food go through his mask so he could eat while everyone else ate when he was very hungry, had even stopped. The chopsticks in his hand look like it was going to snap in two.

"I wonder what she's going to call the baby?" Kola frowned, "I want the baby to be named after me!"

Madara's chopsticks snapped in half. 'He was apparently becoming angry,' Kola thought with a smirk.

"But do you think it was **rape** or did she **want **to make the baby?" Kola looked as if she was thinking hard about the matter.

The atmosphere in the kitchen grew ominous and filled with rage. There was a quiet sound of cracking nearby. Looking over, the Akatsuki noticed it was Tobi's mask that now had cracks spreading out across the orange swirled mask like a spider web that might be somehow covering it.

The mask fell apart in big chunks starting with one little chip down at the chin. Madara looked completely pissed off and consumed by rage with a small little stream of black chakra drizzling down from one corner of his mouth.

He stood up, slamming his gloved fists into the table on either side of his plate. "Who did this to her?" Madara growled.

Hidan weakly questioned, intimidated by the past Uchiha Leader. "Why should it fucken matter to you?"

"No one touches my daughter." Madara growled. "Now who did this to her, or shall I beat the answers out of you?" Madara wiped the black chakra off with his sleeve even thought a slight bit of chakra still dripped from his pale lips.

* * *

Haiku sat on top of the mountain the base had been carved out from. She was deep in thought and was watching the first colors of the sunset making their appearances for the day. "Hn… What do you think of him?"

The dark red crane flapped its wings, enabling it to take to the air for a few seconds before landing back on Haiku's shoulder. "I don't like him one bit."

"You do know who I'm referring to?"

"Your own Incompetent Ass, Itachi."

"Why don't you like him?"

"He doesn't think on his feet."

"_Oh really._"

"Yes really."

"Then what do you think of him being my boyfriend?"

"You're dating him?"

"Remember?"

"I wish I didn't."

"Why?"

"I don't like him. He can't even protect himself from Kola in that fight for even fifteen seconds!"

"He was in my body. He's not used to fighting as me."

"Excuses."

"Is that the only thing you don't like about him?"

"He doesn't deserve someone like you. He's lucky you're in love with him!"

"But I'm not the best person to be someone's girlfriend."

"Why not? You're a perfectly good girlfriend."

"I'm the only one who has an Inner Madara. I'm also the only one who has an Inner Muki. I'm also the only one who does the Uchiha Manhood Test besides my mother nowadays."

"He killed the Uchiha Clan."

"Orders and Dad helped."

"He could have killed you too!"

"He killed his own emotions that day. Because of me, his emotions have come back."

"He could have killed you in your sleep."

"Mom and Dad wouldn't allow it."

"But orders are order aren't they?"

"What do you think is going on in the base?"

"Beats me."

"It sounds like some mess is going on in the kitchen."

"That a frying pan?"

* * *

Pein's bloodied and now limp body was carelessly flung across the room. His head slammed into a hanging frying pan making a loud sound that was very similar to that of a small gong. "Each shall pay for your actions." Bones crushed from under Madara's fist. "For you Pein, not only shall you pay for your own actions, but the actions of the six other of you." Madara growled.

* * *

Sonya who was in cat form watched as the Akatsuki members where taken out one by one. She felt relieve he hadn't become unreasonable and attacked her, Konan or Kola for that matter even though Kola was the one who started this mess!

* * *

A few strands of hair slowly spiked up, "I have a bad feeling, but I don't know why."

"It'll be nothing to worry about. Just ignore it."

"I'd rather try and figure out what it is." Haiku stood up.

"If you want." The crane entered the slightly opened waterproof pouch where the crane army was stashed away.

* * *

Kola now stood outside of the base where the kitchen was located. She managed to slip away undetected from Madara on his angry rampage. Zetsu was safe and sound deep within the ground.

Haiku jumped down, landing next to Kola, her back to where the kitchen window was located. It was impossible to find the window from the outside, but it could be opened from the inside with the chakra seals camouflaging it from the outside and making it impossible for someone other than the current inhabitants to come in through the window when it was open.

"What are you doing out here?" Haiku had a questioning look to her face.

"Just enjoying the… um… sunset. It's really nice tonight." Kola nodded her head.

"Did you just come out here?"

"Uh huh."

"You do know the sunset has already faded way about a minute ago."

"I saw the last bits of it munch much."

"Hn. What's going on with everyone else?"

"Nothing!"

"You're sure quick to answer." Haiku paused, "I've been having a bad feeling about something, but I don't know what it is."

"It's nothing. Nothing at all. It's just your imagination."

"What's my imagination?"

"The fuzzy bunnies hopping all around here."

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing."

There was a loud sound of something hitting the kitchen window, causing Haiku to tense just the slightest bit. "What was that?"

"Um… I think they're playing dodge ball."

"With what?"

"Kitchen stuff." Kola smiled. "I almost got hit by a kitchen knife on accident."

"I'm gonna go see what this is all about."

"You shouldn't."

"Why not?"

"You don't want to get hit munch much."

"I'll be fine."

* * *

I stopped a step inside of the kitchen doorway. The sight was a little bit gruesome to be completely honest. It wasn't just because of the blood, broken chairs legs, a few dented pots and pans, but possibly because of the groaning Akatsuki members lying limp on the ground. Asleep were Konan and Sonya in cat form, perfectly untouched from the destruction.

Itachi's body slid across the floor, stopping right at my feet. He lay perfectly motionless with the exception of each weak breath. More hair rapidly spiked up. The only one still standing in this mess was my own father without a mask, hands covered in the blood of those around him. "What did you do?" I growled at my own father.

That gained Madara's attention, "Which was it?" He growled back.

"What are you talking about?"

"The one who made you _pregnant_."

"What are you talking about?"

"One of these bastards is the father of your child. Which was it?"

"I'm a virgin!"

Madara looked completely caught off guard. "What?"

"I. Am. A. Virgin."

Madara clenched his fists, "It was a _lie_?"

"That's what all this is about?"

Madara managed to nod.

"Kukukuku. Incompetent Ass."

I lifted Itachi's upper body off the ground, getting him into a sitting position as I kneeled next to him. My chakra healed all of his injuries and I gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I love you."

A looped string carefully went over my head. When it rested around my neck, a small ring was produced. "See Madara? I told you she loves him." Muki was apparently behind me.

"You were the one who had my bell?" I asked.

Madara only glared at Muki who then added. "You two are dating isn't that correct, Little Princess?"

"Yes."

Madara looked completely outraged by this. "Oh and Madara-kun, you should start working on cleaning up this mess you made."

"What?"

"You did it, so you're cleaning it up." Muki who was currently visible crossed her arms and smirked at him.

Madara grumbled a few incoherent words before starting to work on the mess. When he gathered all the pieces of his mask, he fused his chakra with it to make a seal, sticking the pieces back together. He put back on the mask before working on getting the blood off of everything. He had a lot of work ahead of him, plus erasing the memory of this event from everyone.

* * *

Iruka and Naruto sat at Ichiraku Ramen, enjoying the savory food. A woman giggled in delight, "Fluffy!" Naruto's blonde hair was being ruffled up by this same woman. She continued to stroke his yellow locks.

"You know her?" Iruka asked.

"She's my sister, believe it!"

"I thought you didn't have any living relatives."

The woman folded both arms over Naruto's head and using her arms as a headrest as she looked over her brother. "I like waffles." A plate of waffles appeared on the counter next to them. She left her spot and sat on the other side of Naruto, eating away at the waffles that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere.

"What's you're name?" Iruka questioned the girl who had red hair at the roots and then her hair faded away to a blonde matching Naruto's hair.

She looked over at Iruka with a smile, "Suggie Uzumaki."

"Snuggie?"

"No, it's pronounced like this: Shoe-gee."

"And who's that?" Iruka motioned towards the girl who looked like Suggie's twin.

"Me."

"A clone?"

"I'm known to stumble across new jutsu quite regularly, but before Naruto was born, I was really lonely." Suggie explained.

The other one continued, "And when she was three, she stumbled across a forbidden jutsu that made an exact copy of herself which unfortunately became me."

"What's your name?"

"Dichiri Uzumaki." The second replied with a yawn. "I just had to be stuck with her."

Suggie smiled, "Mom freaked out when she came home to see two of us. Both Mom and Dad thought it was impossible to restore us back to normal, but actually, I know how to fix it, but I'd rather make Dichiri suffer." Suggie had an evil grin for a brief moment in time.

Iruka got a good look at Suggie. The two Uzumaki girls looked the same, even with the same exact clothing. The only difference he could come up with so far is that Suggie was more talkative and outgoing. Suggie wore a loose, but most likely very comfortable orange shirt with a pair of somewhat short shorts that reached halfway down her thighs. Strangely enough, she wore no shoes, but socks instead that pulled up to her knees. Around her neck was a silver chain necklace with a small silver dragonfly hanging off of it. Each wing possessed a milky blue stone.

"You're older than Naruto? You don't look like it."

Suggie replied, "I may not look like it, but I'm actually eighteen."

Iruka found that a little bit hard to believe. After all, when it came to height, she was the same size if not just the slightest bit smaller than Naruto.

Naruto grinned, "She's the one who raised me after I lost my parents."

"Yup."

The owner of the shop asked Suggie if she wanted anything to eat.

"Um… I'll take two bowls of beef ramen for now!" Suggie bounced around in her seat.

"Coming right up." The owner smiled before working on her order.

"I like waffles and ramen is really good." Suggie admitted.

Dichiri rolled her eyes. "One of those bowls better be for me this time."

* * *

**Author's Note: So… What'd you think? I really like this chapter.  
**


	25. Chapter 25: Snowball Fight

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

**Haiku & Kola 2:**

**Relationship Problems**

**Chapter 25: Snowball Fight

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**Author's Note: I'm sorry I haven't gotten my other story updated as often as this one for those of you who have read both. I'm trying to pick up the pace, but it's easier said than done.**

**blaze : Some things just happen. Kola is someone who some how can get everyone to believe what she says when she may be just trying to pull a reaction.**

**Googala2 : It's been a long time since last time you reviewed. ^^ **

**CuttlefishShiz : Happy to hear you liked it.**

**melioko : The family really did need a water dragon. Why must Itachi be the one who suffers? lol Poor Itachi.**

**hisoka-ai9 : I just felt like being random.  
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Itachi felt the soft fan of Haiku's breath on his cheek. He opened his eyes to see himself lying on the couch. He found himself being held at an angle over Haiku with her arms wrapped around him in a protective manner. It seemed like she had fallen asleep like this and so now her face drooped just the slightest bit above his own.

Itachi did his best to recall what had gone on the day before, no, the night before. Was she really pregnant or was Kola lying? He remembered bits and pieces after getting attacked by Madara. It was something about hearing Haiku saying that she loved him and kissing him on the cheek. Itachi could also remember her carrying him into this room.

His memory became foggier, but he could barely recall Haiku laying him down and daring someone to…

* * *

"_I dare you to lay one finger on my Itachi-kun." Itachi heard Haiku's defiant voice. Her arms were wrapped protectively around him._

* * *

But who was it she was daring? The door creaked open and Tobi came in. Haiku snapped awake, glaring at her father already.

"It's his turn."

Haiku's arms tightened around Itachi.

"He's the last of the Akatsuki besides you, your mother and I to get the memory of last night to be erased."

"You had no right to injure him like you did." Haiku growled.

"I had the right to if I want to."

"You messed up. You fought the Akatsuki. I healed Itachi and you're not to lay one more finger on him."

"I won't need to."

Haiku's warm hand lightly grabbed Itachi's chin and turned his head to the other direction so he could no longer see Madara. "You're going to leave him alone."

"After he no longer remembers what happened."

"You want to kill him because I have a relationship with him." Haiku growled. Itachi watched as her hair had gotten just the slightest bit longer and already had a few spikes.

"As much as I'd like to see him dead, I'm not going to." Madara didn't sound so pleased.

"You aren't going to hurt him."

"Just let me get rid of one simple memory."

"Don't you have a few pots and pans to take the dents out of?"

Madara tensed, "It's none of your business."

"Then what my Mammal knows is none of your business."

"He was present for last night's event."

"And so was I." Haiku paused, "Why should it matter to you if he knows what happened last night? Is it because he learned of your identity?"

"…"

"Or is it because your pride? You'd rather not let him know of the little slip up?"

"It wasn't a _little_ slip up." Madara growled.

"It's not just the fact you just about beat Mammal into a coma again that gets me annoyed Dad." Itachi saw even more hair spiking.

"Why are you making my day even more difficult? It this something you learned from Muki?" Madara complained as he impatiently strode over.

"No Dad, just how to toy with your emotions." Haiku sarcastically replied. She moved Itachi over so she could stand up before laying Itachi back how he was.

"He's awake." Madara snarled. "That little weasel."

"He's been listening in on the whole conversation _my dear father_. Ever since you first came in."

"I already knew that. Just one more memory to get rid of."

"Itachi, for the memory erasing jutsu, don't look into his eyes if you can help it." Haiku sighed, "Why insist on hurting him?"

Madara was about to pass Haiku when she got in the way. "Because he's going to hurt you."

"I love him and you're not going to hurt him as so long as I'm around."

"Is that a challenge?" Madara growled.

"I dare you to touch him." Haiku growled back.

Itachi was now standing up behind Haiku. Now she was the only thing between him and Madara, both of them daring the other to make their move.

"Haiku, I don't want to make your father angry." Itachi advised.

"Dad, you can't always get what you want simply because you're the Great Madara Uchiha." Haiku continued to glare.

"Why are you so defiant all the sudden?" Madara glared back. "Stop acting like Muki!"

"Who's acting? I'm only protecting who I love."

Madara tightened his fists even more. "You _love_ him? He's incompetent! Why protect him?"

"You're incompetent. Mom protected you." Haiku retorted.

"That was different! It was an arranged marriage!"

"Haiku, that's enough. He can erase my memory." Itachi came out from behind Haiku.

Haiku crossed her arms, "If you're sure." She grumbled.

* * *

"Zetsu!" Kola called over to the ninja who was merged in the trunk of the tree. "Do you see it yet?" She continued to run at a vertical angle up the side of the giant tree, scanning the branches.

"Not yet!" Zetsu called back.

"It's got to be here somewhere!"

"**Kola, found it!**" Zetsu informed her.

"Where is it?"

"Over here!" Zetsu half merged from the tree.

Kola got over to where he was. "Where?"

"**There.**" Zetsu pointed.

"Thanks Zetsu!" Kola hugged him before reaching for the prize.

* * *

Haiku was walking along the hallways by herself. She was going to possibly search the library and see if there was anything interesting to read when she saw Kola. "Why do you have that big bunch of bananas? You better not eat too many or you might get diarrhea."

"I won't. These are my bananas!" Kola smiled.

"You better not start planting them." Haiku was dead serious.

"I won't, I won't. It'll be too obvious to see a banana plantation on a mountaintop."

"You summoned it?"

"Summoned what?"

"The Firebrand Life Tree." Haiku whispered.

"_Yeah_… So?"

"What if they saw it?"

"Oh they saw it." Kola nodded her head.

"They as in who?"

"People who live somewhat nearby."

"Where did you summon it?"

"In that _giant_ field _way_ over there!"

"You do know that field is way too small for the size of the tree."

"Now I do."

"Kola."

"Haiku?"

"Why did you summon it?"

"I wanted banana." Kola took another big bite out of the peeled banana she had been eyeing and using her other arm to hold the big bunch of bananas that happened to be half her size.

"And?"

"The myth of our clan has been refreshed in the peoples' minds."

"And?"

"That's it."

"I know you. What else?"

"I showed Zetsu I could still summon ours and it wasn't killed like his."

"I thought he didn't have one even when we were kids."

"_Oh yeah…_ I forgot about that munch much. Only his book was destroyed."

"Yeah. So what are you going to do with all of those healing bananas?"

"Not get diarrhea." Kola said with the rest of her long banana in her mouth, getting all mashed around until it looked like the banana paste would mush its way out of her mouth.

"Don't choke."

"I won't." Kola continued on her way with the actual prize in her pocket, hiding behind the banana bunch she carried.

* * *

Itachi didn't even look up from his book. "Kola, what is it?"

"You know Stalker…" Kola rethought over what she was going to say next. "I have something with me that Haiku would be extremely happy with you if you ate. She wanted to know what you thought of it."

"Why?"

"She really likes eating these, and she wanted to know what you thought of it."

"What is it?"

Kola pulled a good-looking green apple from her pocket. "This."

Itachi looked up from his book. "A green apple?"

"Not just that, but her favorite type of green apple."

"Why should I eat it?"

"It'll make Haiku very, **very** happy if you do."

Itachi closed the book and set it down. He held out his hand. "I'll do it."

Kola placed the apple on his outstretched hand. "Good."

Itachi examined it before biting into it. It tasted like the best sour green apple he had ever eaten in his life, but he was never the one who specified what kind of apple he wanted to eat. It didn't really matter to him, an apple was an apple and depending on his mood, he'd request a certain kind or just take an available type if he felt like eating on.

"What'd ya think?"

"I like it." Itachi continued to devour the apple.

Haiku came in. "What are you doing in here, Kola?"

Kola spun around being sure Haiku couldn't see Itachi taking bites out of the apple. "I wanted to talk to Stalker about something."

"What?"

"None of your business munch much."

Haiku walked around Kola, she automatically saw Itachi eating an apple. "You like green apples?"

"This one's really good." Itachi replied.

"That's go- Kola, that isn't-"

Kola interrupted her, "Yup."

"How'd you get it?"

"Zetsu helped."

"I thought I was the only one who knew the location of those ones."

"But Zetsu and I searched the whole tree."

"How many did you take?"

"You hid them too hard! We could only find one." Kola pouted.

"And why'd you give it to him?"

"Because."

"Kola." Haiku glared at her.

"What? It's just your apples that also grant-"

Haiku put her hand in front of Kola's mouth, preventing her speech. "You aren't going to say what kind that one is. Got it?"

Kola nodded.

"Good." Haiku let go of her sister.

"What's so special about it?" Itachi asked.

"It's her favorite type of green apple." Kola replied.

Itachi noticed the displeased look on Haiku's face. "Sorry if I got the last one or something along those lines."

"Nah. It's not that. Kola just made me lose a game we started playing a bit earlier."

"What game?"

Haiku smirked. "The Game."

"Explain."

"The object of the game is to not think of the game. When a player thinks of the game, that player must announce it loud enough for those around that person to hear that are also playing the game."

"Wouldn't they lose too?"

"Exactly." Haiku paused, "Anyway, once you know of the game, you're playing the game. I lost the game."

"I lost the game!" Kola bounced up and down.

"I… lost… the game?" Itachi half asked, half stated.

* * *

I entered my parents' room. "Dad."

"What?" Madara replied.

"I challenge you." I replied with a smile on my face.

Madara raised an eyebrow. "To what?"

"Chess."

"When?"

"Here and now."

"No longer mad eh?"

"Not as much, as so long as you don't put him into another coma or beat him into a bloody pulp."

"Kukuku."

* * *

Haiku sat there, waiting for Dad's move. She stared down at the game board in her parents' room. They had their own chessboard and pieces that they kept in their room. Madara moved the black knight.

"Hn…" Haiku saw right through his move. He wanted to be in a position so he could take out her queen without her being able to take his knight. 'Ok then…' She thought, 'I'll just do this…'

"Heh." Madara took out her queen with his knight, just like she had foreseen.

There was a long pause. Madara instinctively got into a defensive position from his seat at the other side of the table. 'If she's like Muki when it comes to chess,' Madara reasoned with himself, 'then he had to be careful… of flying pieces all aimed at his face.'

Haiku reached for her rook. She noticed him getting tenser and tenser with every moment she purposely let go by. "I guess I have no other choice…" Haiku trailed off.

His arm looked like it was barely trembling from the suspense.

Haiku triumphantly declared, "Checkmate!" She placed her rook in the right spot. The whole time, she had been luring him into her trap.

He got out of his defensive position. "What?"

"You heard me. Checkmate."

"You're not going to-"

"Not going to do what? Throw the board?"

"How'd you know?" Haiku could tell his suspicion from his voice.

"I played against Mother already. I was going to declare checkmate in a few more moves and took out her queen. She threw pieces and then the whole board."

"That's Muki for you."

"It's just been so long."

"If anyone **ever** gives you a hard time, don't be afraid to tell me and I'll deal with it." Madara cracked his knuckles.

"I should be fine." Haiku placed the last piece back in its correct starting position.

There was a knock at the door. Madara put back on his mask and Muki went invisible. Tobi answered the door.

"Pein wants to call a meeting." Konan stated.

"Very well." Madara didn't act like Tobi this time.

* * *

"As you all know, we've been working long and hard on missions." Pein started off, "I think we should take a break from all this."

"No missions?" Sasori asked.

"For a while we won't have any missions, but what I was thinking as that we could take advantage of the snow."

Kola impatiently raised her hand.

"You don't need to raise your hand."

Kola put it down. "Do you mean we're having a _snowball_ fight?"

"Yes."

Hidan lunged at Kakuzu with his scythe. Fighting broke out in the Akatsuki's ranks.

"STOP!" Pein commanded over the loud commotion of the Akatsuki. Everyone stopped his or her actions. Some where in the midst of choking others while others where struggling as they were being choked. Some had their fists mere inches away from another's face. Some paused in the middle of performing a jutsu.

Pein scanned over the perfectly still Akatsuki before continuing on; "I mean a snowball fight like we all must have done at one point or another in our childhoods. There's no killing in this game. The weapon against the other Akatsuki is the snow itself."

* * *

Kisame looked up at the snowball hovering over his head. He wondered how it was possible for a snowball to do such a thing when he heard a string being cut. The snowball hit him square in the face.

Sonya couldn't help smiling. He fell for it. She tucked the kunai back into her weapon holster and moved on to the next spot in the forest where she'd set the next traps.

* * *

As Kola walked, a snowball barely missed her back and hit the tree just a little bit ahead. The snow fell away, leaving a hidden kunai that was still stuck to the tree. Kola looked behind her, Hidan was coming her way, so she ran, purposely getting Hidan to chase after her.

When she got to the right area, she hid behind a tree. When Hidan arrived and stood on the direct other side of the tree, she poked it, her chakra making the tree relieve itself of it's snow filled weight directly on top of the silver haired ninja.

"FUCK!" Hidan screeched as the snow hit his bare chest, the collar of his cloak worked like a funnel, allowing some snow to chill his back. He already felt himself becoming chilled to the bone.

* * *

A snowball exploded right next to Sasori at the exact time his snowball that had been controlled by chakra like his puppets are controlled hit Deidara. The trees overhead both released their loads of snow on top of the two artists.

* * *

Konan found herself ambushed by six Pein. Snowballs from every direction attacked her, none of the Pein stopped the continuous flow of snowballs. She felt like she had no choice but to turn into sheets of paper and escape.

Kakuzu used his black threads to pick up, mold and throw snowballs at Kisame who used Samehada to block the strikes. Kakuzu stopped the attack, holding snowballs at the ready, which caused Kisame to lower his sword in wonder of what was going on. Kisame then disappeared from behind a tree to avoid the pelting of the snowballs.

* * *

Itachi was hit in the side of the face by a cold snowball. Another was aimed at him, but he dodged it only for it to change directions and hit him in the back of the head. That's when he noticed the apparently waterproof cranes that had hid in the exact center of each snowball. So she wanted to play that way… Itachi used his chakra to make a layer of protection on the snowball before applying fire to the snowball. The chakra layer would temporary protect the snow from melting.

Haiku's eyes widened as a flaming snowball flew in her direction. She pulled out a metal fan to smack the snowball back at Itachi. The snowball fell apart, but the fan caught on fire. The fire itself was now tamed and wouldn't burn her, but she wasn't going to use fire in that way. Haiku closed the fan, causing the fire to go out and put it back away.

Like a regular army, she had different crane ranks and each rank had a specialty. Some were the cranes the Akatsuki were used to, some were explosive, and others were waterproof. She even had a big pregnant crane as it could be called since it bulged with sticky note cranes. In actuality, it was a carrier crane that could deal a lot of damage since it was bigger, but it was also faster. When cut in half, the carrier crane became limp, but the smaller cranes flooded out and continued attacking, flooding and overwhelming the opponent.

* * *

"Itachi, do you want to go to a Dango Shop tonight?" Haiku suggested. The two had already decided to call a truce while the rest of the Akatsuki continued to pelt each other with the icy snowballs.

"Sure." Itachi replied.

A snowball nearly hit Itachi in the side of the face. He narrowed his eyes into a glare at the attacker. Tobi.

Haiku who had seen the snowball, returned fire on the new arrival.

Tobi allowed the snowball to go right through him and instead, hit Kola who was hiding from another person who she had dumped snow on. "Haiku missed Tobi." Tobi replied. He was currently glaring back at Itachi.

"What do you want?" Haiku replied.

"Just wondering why Haiku and Itachi aren't throwing snowballs anymore." Madara said in his Tobi voice.

"We're bored." Haiku said, glaring at her father because he was glaring at Itachi. Haiku sensed Kola who had teleported to behind the tree she was standing under. She grabbed Itachi's hand and pulled him out of the way of the snow Kola caused to fall where they had previously been. "Kola, I know you're there."

Kola showed herself. "So?"

"You're still not done playing this game?" Haiku questioned.

"Nope! It's fun, but not _as_ fun as Truth or Dare _or_ Fuzzy Bunny…" Kola admitted.

"Haiku. Shall we go?" Itachi asked.

Haiku smiled. "Sure."

"Let's go."

* * *

**Author's Note: Kola's obviously up to no good. What was so special about the green apple Kola gave Itachi and why would Haiku want to keep it a secret from Itachi? Reviews are greatly appreciated. ^_^**


	26. Chapter 26: The Match

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

**Haiku & Kola 2:**

**Relationship Problems **

**Chapter 26: The Match

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**Author's Note: Wow, I got quite a few reviews last chapter. =D Thanks guys. So yeah... everyone wants to know about the apple. I don't think it's going to be mentioned until chapters most likely until the third Haiku & Kola story, whenever we end up getting to that. The apple is said to make those who eat it immortal, but it's not something that the person who ate it would know until after they die since they wouldn't feel any different.**

**Priestess-of-Jashin : *evil grin* I just lost the game. I haven't heard from you in a while. ^^ As for Madara, he'll have to either deal with it, take out his anger or do as Muki says. Muki's the one who wears the pants in the household. xD**

**habu hyuuga : A very special apple indeed.**

**blaze : It's not that you lose the game if you start talking about the game, but if you think of it, then you automatically lose the game and have to then say, "I lost the game." Then everyone around you loses the game by hearing that you lost it. Thus, they have to say, "I lost the game." Glares usually follow. When you first hear about the game, that's the first time you lose the game. Since they claimed that they lost the game, Itachi, learning what the game was, lost it. Does that help at all?**

**CuttlefishShiz : That's too bad. I personally like the weather to change for seasons. I really like the snow when it first falls and it's nice and soft. Then I won't like it when it freezes over and then there's black ice on the road. I'd rather walk through a foot of snow than on the road to the bus stop that might have some black ice on it.**

**Melioko : Haiku can be a very stubborn person. Thus, Madara won't be able to get her to change her mind and not protect him when Madara's attacking or going to attack Itachi.**

**hisoka-ai9 : Yeah, Kola's always up to no good. Her, Muki and Sonya would make a bad combination.**

**AnimeCrazed121 : So you've caught up already? I guess that means like everyone else, you like the story and also like reviewing. ^^ Initiation was one of many of Muki's inventions.  
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Itachi lay silently in bed. The room was still dark and there were no noises in the halls. No one was apparently awake yet. Even his beloved Haiku was silently sleeping… or did she sleep walk out of here last night? Hn. She _was_ sleeping on the couch last night…

He put his hands behind his head and looked up at the ceiling, last night's events playing in his head. The food was fine and the tea was hot at the little shop. Haiku had been in a really good mood and couldn't help expressing her happiness during the whole date. She probably didn't think of it as one when she suggested going to the shop. Being around her in such a state made his heart leap for joy in his chest. Even his lips were tempted to turn into a smile against his own will.

Everything about last night starting from when they walked together to the Dango Shop seemed to be perfect. She had even kissed him good night. Itachi felt as if he could still feel her soft lips pressing against his own. There was no doubting his feelings for her. If memory served correctly, she loved and completely admired her father. In fact, she was always closer to her father than her mother. And yet… she stood up against Madara to make sure he was safe from Madara's wrath. She wouldn't do that for just anyone.

Regardless of his feelings, there had been something he had wanted to do. If he played his cards right and got Haiku on equal grounds as him, would he be able to beat Haiku? This was something that had been on his mind ever since the last match with her. The more and longer he thought about it, a plan started to form in his head. He knew how he'd do it, but he'd need to manipulate everything **perfectly**.

She seemed to be the type to not care whether she won or lost a match if it was with a good friend. But the question was, would she even accept the match?

Sure this was something he had wanted to do for a long time now, but would he be up to fighting with the same exact person he loved and wanted to share his life with? Just thinking of her made him wonder if he could go through with his plans for Sasuke. It was for the sake of his old village right? He was to die and in return protect not only the village, but also his precious little brother. Letting his own life end at the hands of his weaker sibling was something he was going to let happen no matter what. He had accepted that fate ever since he had realized he couldn't make himself kill Sasuke.

But now…

Now he doubted if he could let that happen. He didn't want to lose Haiku and he also didn't want her to suffer through the pain of losing someone who she loved once again.

"Itachi? Are you awake?"

"Hn?"

"It's cold in here."

"I didn't notice."

Bare feet hit the ground and headed over towards him. When she got over to him, since he was lying next to the closest edge to the couch, she climbed over him and slid into the covers next to him. "You're warm." She wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his bare chest.

He turned on the lamp on the nightstand to check the time. Seeing it was still very early in the morning, way before the sun was to come up; he turned off the lamp and wrapped an arm around Haiku. It would be best if he got back to sleep if possible.

* * *

Madara glanced down with half closed eyes at Muki as she cuddled up against him. It seems like some things will never change, though he had really grown to like Muki's cute and cuddly moments. He wrapped an arm around her as she mumbled, half asleep, "I love you… Ass…"

"Muki."

"What Ass?"

"I love you too." Madara drifted back to sleep.

* * *

_As Muki was talking about something or another in the big field behind the Uchiha Manor, Madara's thoughts wandered to where his daughter was up to. She was already good at walking around. Both Muki and he had to often play hide and seek with their daughter. In such a big house with a large piece of property, she could end up being anywhere._

_He was suddenly tugged down to his wife's height by his bangs. "Ass! Were you listening to what I was saying?"_

_Madara gave her a pleasant smile before kissing her._

_The falcons in the area where they slept screeched. Madara's lips parted with Muki's as he looked over in the general direction of the calls from the falcons he had trained plus those he was in the middle of training._

_His birds took to the air though the only white one he had looked as if it was having some difficulty. His falcons were very strong birds, so he didn't see how one would be having problems with flying unless it had some kind of injury he didn't know about. The white one in particular was by far the strongest of his falcons._

_Madara's eyes widened with realization. His daughter was in the air while holding onto his white falcon. Somehow this bird was still able to fly and was up pretty high now._

_Haiku wailed, but she didn't let go of the falcon. This was the first time she had ever been up that high…_

"_Kukuku. Incompetent Ass."_

_Madara performed the call all of his falcons respond to in order to get that white one to come back closer to ground. The other ones that had also taken to the sky also flew to him. It wasn't long before his two-year-old daughter was safe in his arms._

_Looking over at Muki, Haiku grinned, "Mommy!" She then looked up at Madara with those adorable eyes of hers, "Daddy!" Haiku's little hands grabbed onto his shirt as if showing that she didn't want him to let go of her as he now held her like when she was a little bit younger. She rubbed her cheek against his chest and repeated what she had heard Muki call Madara time after time… "Ass." She mumbled before falling asleep in his arms. For her, it was very late in the day and she had been up for a long time without taking any naps._

* * *

Itachi opened his eyes, looking down at the one he loved cuddled up against him. It looked like it was still very early in the morning and there had been no signs of the Akatsuki being awake yet.

As he lay there, he wondered to himself how much Haiku was like her mother. On top of that, he wondered how much _more_ she'd become like the crazy woman that made him feel sorry for Madara every now and then. Muki could be like what he had heard about Lyme's Disease. Like Muki it creates psychological problems _if_ she doesn't like you. Thankfully for Madara, that wasn't the case…

Anymore.

Would Haiku become _that_ bad? Well then again, she was _only_ half Muki. But that meant she was _also_ half Madara. That might not work out very well…

* * *

Haiku looked up at Itachi who just laid there, not knowing she was awake. Listening to his heartbeat even just his lungs filling with air and exhaling seemed to soothe her restless mind. There had been something bugging her lately…

She had the feeling something was going to either happen to Itachi or herself and to be honest, she'd rather it be herself. Losing Itachi would be too much for her to bear.

Something was going to happen soon, she could feel it in her bones. Something bad was going to happen. Once again, she concentrated on the sound of his heart, deep within his chest.

She would be prepared to give up anything to save his life.

* * *

"Haiku."

I looked up at him. "Hn?"

"I want to challenge you to a match."

"Why?"

"I want to see if my plans will work."

"Ok." I paused, closing my book. "What kind of rules if any?"

"How about a one-on-one match."

I set my book down on the same boulder I had been sitting on. "Ok." I removed my waterproof pouch of cranes on top of my book.

"No killing or using the Inner Madara or Inner Muki."

"That's not unreasonable."

"No using skills learned from Kola's clan."

"So no healing or teleporting without the fire rose." I sighed, looking up into the clear blue sky. "Anything else you see necessary to put us both on equal ground?"

"No necklace." Itachi replied.

I took off the beaded necklace, slipping it into the pouch with the cranes. I also took off the bell, putting it on top of the book. "I don't want to be heard that easily now do I?"

"No initiation."

"Do you honestly believe I'd try to initiate you in the middle of a match up with you?"

Itachi smirked, before frowning. "And no Magma."

"No Magma?"

"No dragons."

"So you really don't like Magma that much? Is it because he's like Dad?"

'He's worse than Madara.' Itachi thought to himself, 'Because Madara has Muki to keep him under control for the most part.'

"So anything else you'd like to suggest?"

"You have to stay at the same level as me with your sharingan."

"Ok. That everything?"

"Your turn."

"Hn… No Tsukuyomi, Amaterasu or Susanoo. The match ends when the other is unable to fight or is disabled."

"Hn."

"No kissing."

Itachi frowned again. 'So much for that idea.'

"Sound good to you, Itachi-san?"

"Let's make it a bit more interesting."

"How?"

"The winner gets some sort of prize."

"Like?"

"If I lose, I'll do anything you want me to do. In fact… you can do whatever you want to me."

Haiku blinked a few times, "If I lose, I'm not going to let you do whatever it is you want with me because I've been in your mind and I don't _want_ to do that."

Itachi smirked, "Or how about I'll answer your questions truthfully if you do the same if I win."

"Does the loser get to choose the prize for the other?"

"Why not?"

"Then you ready?"

"Yes." Itachi replied, activating his sharingan.

* * *

Zetsu watched and carefully recorded what was going on from the safety of the ground. He felt like he was about to have a heart attack when Kola suddenly appeared inside of his shell. She simply smiled and watched alongside him as the two look alikes started their match.

* * *

Itachi gritted his teeth in annoyance. He had used a genjutsu reversal on one of Haiku's jutsu only for her to use a genjutsu reversal to turn it back on him. That happened once more before she ended the chain of genjutsu reversals.

So far, this match wasn't at all looking in his favor.

While on equal grounds, they were perfectly matched in taijutsu. Genjutsu was tricky and ninjutsu was something that kept Itachi on his toes. He was beginning to miss the constant threat of an army of at least five hundred cranes trying to get him in the perfect position to attack and defeat him.

But if things kept up like this, there would be no way he could match with her amount of chakra. Having a father like Madara gave her the advantage since she could outlast him for a few minutes longer than him if the match kept up like this. He had to change his tactics.

Or go on with the next step in his plans.

Haiku pulled out her katana in place of the kunai she had thrown just minutes before. Sidetracking his previous plans, he pulled out his old katana from when he had been an anbu in the Leaf Village to block her strike. Fighting like this was like trying to break a mirror without letting the reflection of yourself hit it in the same exact spot at the same exact time. This, he reasoned, was how he felt. Every strike he tried, she either dodged or blocked it. When it came to genjutsu, she used a genjutsu reversal. Sure he did the same, but it was hard to find a good time to do his original plans.

What was her plan? Was it simply to wait until he felt exhausted from using too much chakra?

The dagger he pulled out with his left hand while he wielded his katana in his right hand punctured Haiku right between the ribs. She looked like she flinched in pain right before she poofed away.

When did she make a clone?

And she must have discretely made it and quickly switched it with herself too quickly for him to notice even with his sharingan. It must have been only seconds before he shoved the kunai into her lung.

His eyes scanned the area for the missing Haiku. Where could she be hiding?

Itachi turned around at the exact moment Haiku reappeared in the air, falling towards him. Not having enough time to react, Itachi hit the ground with Haiku landing on him as if she was kneeling on him with a kunai against his throat.

Itachi used a substitution jutsu. Haiku looked around as she was surrounded by ravens. Standing up, her sharingan broke through Itachi's jutsu.

Itachi thought the look on Haiku's face was completely priceless as two clones grabbed either arm, stretching her out and his real body's arm wrapped around and pressed a kunai to her throat.

She already knew, if she dared to attack either clone, the real Itachi would slit her throat.

Not being able to make any hand signs with her hands locked up with the hands of the clones, she had no choice. "I give up."

Itachi released her from her hold and made the two clones disappear. She spun around to face him. Itachi smirked, "My reward?"

"I'm going to be teaching you a thing or two that might end up being useful."

Itachi raised an eyebrow. "You're going to… teach me?"

"I'm not sure what else I could offer you." Haiku got her stuff, putting them back to how they were before the match.

"I could think of a few things…"

"Other than sex or any other form of sensual pleasures your perverted mind can come up with."

"Where's the fun in that?"

Haiku frowned, "For starters, you can't ride a dragon if your life depended on it. You have a habit of falling off. Two, one of these days, I won't be here to control my army every single time. You may end up needing to work together with them."

"I still want you to at least answer some questions truthfully."

"Ok then, but only to tomorrow morning."

"Tomorrow night."

"Fine. Deal."

The dark red crane flew out of the pouch on her hip. "I'll have to work together with **that**_** thing**_?"

Haiku frowned, "Can't you just behave while around him?"

"There's no way I'm working together with him."

"Well that's too bad."

"I refuse. I flat out refuse."

"Stop being such a rebel, you're going to work with him eventually."

"He's a moron!"

"Am not." Itachi stated in monotone.

"Just stop it! You're to resolve this grudge soon because you're going to work with him if you like it or not." Haiku crossed her arms.

"But I don't want to work with the idiot. I'd rather work with you." The crane stated.

"Look, when Itachi and I are on equal grounds, he managed to defeat me."

"You don't have any wounds."

"We aren't supposed to try and kill the other person."

"So?"

"Why are you acting like this? You _never_ do this!"

"I don't like him, nor do I approve of you being with him."

"I don't _need_ your approval to be with the man I love."

"I'm still not working with him." The crane retreated back into the safety of the waterproof pouch.

"Itachi, I'm sorry for my second-in-command's behavior."

"It's fine."

"So what did you want to know?" Haiku asked Itachi on their walk back to the base.

* * *

Suggie sat down at Ichiraku Ramen next to her little brother. On the other side of her sat Dichiri. She smiled at Naruto, "You ready for this?"

"Believe it!"

The three of them each grabbed a pair of chopsticks, getting ready for the competition. As soon as they got their ramen, the game was on. Who would eat the most ramen?

Naruto kept glancing over at his sister as he shoved the ramen noodles into his mouth as quickly as possible and then downing the broth. When he put the now empty bowl aside, Ichiraku handed him a new bowl filled with ramen.

Suggie was eating at a slow pace when compared to Naruto. She seemed unhurried by her little brother's ravenous eating habits during the game they occasionally played. When she unhurriedly set the empty bowl in her own pile, Naruto already had two empty bowls and was working on his third bowl.

Dichiri wasn't even playing the game her 'twin' and her little brother were playing. She ate at the pace of a normal, everyday person. When she asked for seconds, Suggie had eaten three bowls and Naruto had six bowls.

* * *

Naruto felt so stuffed, even he couldn't believe it. The bowls now lay on the counter in three stacks; seven in each with the grand total of twenty-one bowls of ramen. There was no way he could eat a single noodle now.

Naruto looked over at Suggie who was still eating at a nice pace. She was no longer rushing or apparently trying to beat her brother anytime soon.

"Come on and finish already!" Naruto complained.

"It's never been a game of who eats the most first." Suggie ruffled up his blonde hair. "It's all about who will eat the most in this visit." Suggie finished up with her eleventh bowl.

"Aw… Come on and hurry up already!"

Suggie said with a mouth full, "I'll take as long as I want." She swallowed her food and then stuck her tongue out at Naruto.

* * *

Naruto stared at the ramen in front of him. There was no way he could eat another bite. This was just plain crazy. He still hadn't finished off any more bowls…

Suggie added the last bowl to her pile. "All done." She took a napkin and wiped off the broth from her lips.

Dichiri looked over at the other two. She wasn't in the mood for eating a lot of ramen today, so she had only eaten three bowls. Doing the honors, she counted up the bowls. "Naruto has twenty-one bowls and Suggie has… twenty-two bowls."

"WHAT?" Naruto exclaimed, "I lost!"

"Yup." Suggie grinned, "Now _you_ get to pay for dinner."

"WHAT? NO FAIR! YOU CHEATED!" Naruto complained.

* * *

**Author's Note: ^_^ Itachi finally beat Haiku.**


	27. Chapter 27: Sick Day

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

**Haiku & Kola 2:**

**Relationship Problems **

**Chapter 27: Sick Day

* * *

**

**Author's Note:**

**Googala2 : Good point there. Haiku really wouldn't be pleased.**

**Blaze : Muki and Madara have their moments. After all, how long have they been married? Almost a century. The second-in-command is a very protective crane who doesn't want Haiku to be put into a bad position. Haiku's second-in-command is very similar to Muki's old second-in-command, Kun.**

**hisoka-ai9 : Thanks. Glad to hear people like the story even if I don't all the time.**

**melioko : Unfortunately, I don't remember if I added Itachi asking Haiku the question in this chapter. I feel like a failure if I didn't have it in this one. _ I'll get it in here somewhere. But that wouldn't turn out right if Itachi was to ride Magma. That dragon really wouldn't like it. After all, this was Madara's dragon we're talking about here.**

**CuttlefishShiz : I'm glad to hear people liked the story. ^^**

**AnimeCrazed121 : Even those who seem to be made of pure evil or can be very evil if they want to can have their cute and cuddly moments. ^^  
**

**

* * *

**

Haiku caught herself as she was about to fall off of the couch with her arm holding her up, only to sneeze and land with half of her body on the ground. To tell the truth, Haiku felt terrible.

Itachi looked over at her. He had been up for a few minutes now, "You look like you caught a cold."

Haiku got up, grabbing a tissue for her runny nose, "I did."

"Do you have the immune system similar to Kola from being around her for so long?"

"I only get sick about once a year." Haiku didn't blow her nose.

"Can't you just blow your nose?"

"I can't without my eyes getting watery. That would make me feel worse." She threw away that tissue.

"You should get back to sleep."

Haiku dragged herself back onto the couch. Itachi got up, picked her up while still covered up by the blanket and put her on the bed. "What are you doing?"

"You'll sleep better over here."

"Thank you Itachi-kun." Haiku curled up on her side, beginning to fall asleep again.

"No problem." Itachi got comfortable in bed, pulling her close to him. He pulled the comforter up past his shoulders before falling back asleep.

* * *

Zetsu looked over at Kola. She really did like sleeping in. It also seemed like she never took off that purple jacket, but he knew she did wash her clothes. He just didn't know when she did that.

He thought about closing up his shell again when he decided on keeping it open and looking up at the ceiling. Everyone must be still asleep or just too lazy to get out of bed this morning. He closed back up his shell and thought back on one of his memories.

* * *

_Fourteen-year-old Zetsu didn't know what to do. After leaving the clan with the group of others who didn't catch the illness…_

_He was all alone._

_Somehow, even though they were all clean of the illness, it somehow infected a few of the survivors. Zetsu was the only one who didn't catch it. Within a month…_

_They were all dead._

_He had nowhere to go. Nowhere that he belonged. He might just be the only survivor out of the whole clan. Kola and possibly Haiku were most likely also dead. His parents were dead. Everyone around him had died._

_What would he do with his immortal life? Try and join a ninja village where he'd most likely end up being an outcast? It might be the only thing he could do. Unlike the rest of his clan mates, he could only heal himself. He was also one of the few cannibals in the Terra Clan._

_He merged into a big tree trunk, making sure his venus flytrap was shut all the way and getting some sleep. Maybe he'd find something to do tomorrow._

* * *

_Zetsu listened to the crunching of leaves from under the feet of two people. He got a good look at the two. Something seemed very familiar about these two. They both looked so sad and depressed. The taller one with the longer black hair with its spiky crown on top of his head held up his bent arm for a white falcon to land._

_He took off a small message, reading it over very quickly and handing it to the one with black curly hair who was a great deal smaller than him. Even her hair was shorter than his. The man replaced the message with a new one. Dismayed, the taller one sent the falcon off again in another direction._

_Silent tears rolled down the woman's face. The man, immediately noticing, did his best to comfort her._

_Zetsu came out of his hiding place and slowly came out from behind the tree to where the two stood. The taller one glared over at him, pale skin with blazing red eyes. Zetsu knew who these two were now._

_Zetsu gulped. "I know your daughter."_

_The taller one's eyes narrowed suspiciously down at him._

"_**Haiku Uchiha.**__"_

"_How do you know her?" The man questioned._

_Zetsu gulped. "I was good friends with her. I met her from my best friend."_

_The woman wiped her tears with the man's sleeve. "How do you know us?"_

_Zetsu was tempted to close his shell and sink back into a tree or the earth by the intensity of the man's glare. "Haiku always talked about the day she got to be with her parents again. __**Madara-sama of the Uchiha Clan and Muki-sama of the Sotaki Clan.**__"_

"_What is your name?" Madara practically growled._

"_Zetsu." Zetsu replied. "__**It's an honor to meet the two of you.**__"_

_Tears leaked from Muki's already reddening eyes. "Where is our Little Princess?"_

_Zetsu looked down at the ground. "I'm sorry…"_

_Madara's fists tightened._

"_But I don't know if she's still alive or not."_

"_Why not?" Muki questioned._

"_It's a long story and I'm now alone."_

"_You're coming with us." Muki declared._

_Madara looked surprised, "What?"_

"_Zetsu's coming with us." Muki repeated._

_Madara rethought his words, "Why?"_

_Muki blinked back the tears, "We've searched nonstop for nine years. He might be able to help us find her."_

_Zetsu thought to himself, 'It's already been nine years since she first came to be with us. __**We apparently now belong with Haiku's parents. **__But why them? __**We don't fit in anywhere else and isn't this what Haiku always wanted since joining the clan?**__ True. __**It would make Kola happy if we were able to help her adoptive sister find her home after all.**__ If only she were still alive.'_

_Zetsu felt himself being hugged by Muki. It felt very awkward for him. He felt as if he was as stiff as a board as she held him. She was holding him as a mother would do for her child who might have been harmed. "What's wrong?"_

"_I don't even know if my clan is still alive. __**My best friend was starting to walk on death's road when I had to leave the clan behind with the others.**__" Zetsu felt the tears running down his bi-colored skin._

"_You aren't alone now." Muki was doing her best to comfort him. It was said she had always had a soft spot for children._

_Zetsu escaped her hug, "I'm sorry, but I don't know if I can help you find Haiku. __**She may be dead just like Kola, her parents, my parents and everyone else in the clan.**__"_

* * *

Haiku was about to sneeze when Itachi locked his lips with hers. He got back into the position he had been in with a smirk on his face.

"What'd you do that for?"

"Hn."

"You're going to get it now."

"All the more reason to stay in bed with you all day."

"Arrogant Ass."

"As so long as I'm _your_ Arrogant Ass."

Haiku frowned, "You're my _Incompetent_ Ass."

"As long as I'm yours and you're mine."

* * *

Kola sat in the living room. She thought and thought, but still she didn't see or hear about Haiku or Itachi. She knew it would be unlikely they were actually 'making the baby' or having sex.

Kola frowned, "Zetsu, where's Haiku and Stalker? It's been almost a day without seeing or hearing from them."

"They've both gotten sick and are sleeping."

"Sick?"

"**Yes. Sick.**"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You didn't ask. **Now did you?**"

"But you're _Zetsu_. I don't _need_ to ask."

"Then you don't need to know that badly."

Kola blinked a few times in complete boredom. "But if they're both sick, then how am I going to convince them to be together?"

"**Technically speaking, aren't they already together?**"

"How?"

"They're dating. **Don't you remember?**"

A wide grin formed on her face. "_Oh yeah_. I forgot all about that!"

"Then what are you going to try and do now?"

"I'm gonna get them to marry each other!" Kola declared.

"**Why not just let their relationship take it's own path?**"

"Do you think they're ever going to have a baby?"

"Possibly."

"_Zetsu_. I wanna baby too." Kola pouted.

"**Why?**"

"They're _so_ cute."

Zetsu remained quiet.

"I'm going to get married too and then I'm going to have hundreds, no… thousands of children!"

Zetsu gulped. "**Why so many?**"

"Because I'm immortal just like you and then we're going to have lots and lots of children. Raising them will be so much fun."

"We?"

Kola ignored his question, "And each will have her own name."

"You want to have lots of children. **And you already know they're going to be female?**"

"Yes, lots of children, but how am I to know what gender they're going to be?"

"You just said they were."

"Don't be silly Zetsu."

"**Who do you want to marry?**"

"Um…" Kola seemed to think about this for a while. "I don't know yet." Kola suddenly looked like she was about to cry, "But I don't know where my seeds are!"

"Your husband will tell you the way to have children. **You shouldn't worry about such matters.**"

"If I marry you, will you tell me Zetsu-san?"

* * *

Kola heard the fridge open up. She leaned over the couch armrest to see if it was either Haiku or Itachi. She silently tip toed into the kitchen. If it wasn't the two, she was going to scare them.

The person disappeared into the hallway, so she followed. The halls were empty since she might have been the only one who was still awake with the exception of the two floating glasses of orange juice.

Kola hurried to catch the glasses since she was suddenly in the mood of drinking orange juice. On closer inspection, a group of cranes were carrying the 'floating' juice. She tried grabbing one of them only for the cranes to speed up to avoid her hand.

Kola noticed the straws and tried to simply use one of the straws to empty the glass while the cranes continued to carry the glass. Her lips were about to touch the straw when the cranes zigzagged out of the way.

She frowned. Kola refused to let the cranes get the best of her. She was going to have that orange juice!

Kola tried every trick she could think of to get that drink. Just one of the glasses would make her satisfied, but they avoided her every time.

As a last attempt before the cranes got to Itachi's room, she teleported in front of them one last time and with a kunai, tried to tear the ones carrying one of the glasses. The cranes split up, causing the glass to drop, but they reformed under the cup before it could break on the ground, not even losing a single drop.

The door opened and the cranes went in to complete their delivery to the two sick ninja.

Kola dropped to her knees in defeat. WHY?

Zetsu merged right next to her, handing her a different cup of orange juice.

Kola happily took the cup, downing the juice in one shot. "Thank you Zetsu!"

* * *

Itachi felt so sick, it wasn't even funny. His nose would get stuffy and then it might all the sudden get a runny nose. He knew he had a fever plus he had been sleeping so much for the past few days. Although he felt like crap, he still felt glad for doing it. Why might that be?

He had the excuse to lie in bed all day with the woman he loved in his arms.

Yes, it might not be much, but that's what he wanted to do on Haiku's sick days… He didn't like seeing her suffering either, so why not join her?

* * *

I wandered about a bookstore around a week after Itachi and I had gotten sick. Now we were both completely healthy. I once again frowned at the selection present. Not much in here was there?

As I looked around, I ran into a section with Jiraya's dreaded books. Avoiding the dreaded books, I looked around at some others until one caught my eye.

Itachi

At least that's what it was called. The dark red book with black writing. Itachi huh? I picked it up, a good-sized book of four hundred pages. Not bad at all. Looking around at it, there was no summery of the contents. Hn… I read the first paragraph of the first page:

* * *

What was his name that everyone wanted to know? He was only known by one name: Itachi. Many admired him for his talents, looks, or things that he thought couldn't be valid reasons. The many who wanted him for their lover all agreed his name suited him perfectly. A sly weasel who couldn't be captured or tamed. The weasel did what he wanted and couldn't be controlled. If he had a girlfriend, it was of his own free will.

* * *

Why not get it for him? After all, wasn't that the reason why she was here in the first place? I carried it to the woman at the counter. "Have you read this book before?"

"Yes I have. It's a great book. Especially for those lonely nights." She had a dreamy look to her eyes.

"Do you think my friend who's a guy would like it?" I gave her a skeptical look.

"Of course! It isn't too mushy or anything like that. In fact, Itachi is the main character and the reader gets to see through his eyes, feel what he feels…" She had a slight blush to her face now.

"…"

"Sorry about that. I have a habit of drifting back to books I've read."

"You're blushing."

"Itachi is really _really_ handsome and I was just remembering a scene. It's nothing. Your friend should like it."

"I'll buy it."

"You won't regret your choice I promise you."

* * *

Itachi carefully painted on the fan he had gotten for Haiku. He set it down to dry while he thought about what to write.

* * *

I noticed Zetsu with the corner of my eye before he spoke.

"**Finding another book**? You do that often."

"There isn't very many interesting books I haven't read yet."

"That tends to happen **when you're a quick reader.**"

"True." I paused. "Do you need something?"

"We been thinking… **about the flower.**"

"Do you want to know the location of one in bloom as we speak?"

"**Yes.**"

"Are you sure about giving it to her? You know you'll be sealing away your fate if you do."

"We're sure. **It's only a matter of when to give it to her.**"

"That's always the problem with anything and everything."

"…"

"Timing is said to be everything. But I have confidence in you. You'll choose the right time."

"Thank you."

"Hn? I haven't even told you where it is."

"**We have been feeling a bit uneasy about the whole matter.**"

I smiled. "I'd be too if I were you."

"Where is it?"

"Twentieth floor near the stairs going up."

"**Thanks**."

"No problem."

* * *

Kabuto entered Orochimaru's room to see him pacing back and forth. "Lord Orochimaru."

Orochimaru stopped, looking over at him. "Who's that?"

Kabuto looked around. He didn't notice anyone until the young woman in a dark blue hooded cloak appeared. She pressed her lips against Orochimaru's and then once again disappeared as mysteriously as she had arrived.

Orochimaru looked stunned. Someone wanting to randomly kiss him.

"It was _her_!"

"Who was that?"

"I don't know who that was. She kissed me a while back."

Orochimaru frowned, "You know nothing of her?"

"No Lord Orochimaru."

"How'd she come in here so easily?"

"Magic?" Kabuto playfully suggested.

"What news do you bring me today?"

Kabuto handed over the folder.

Orochimaru flipped through the pages, "More Leaf business I'll have to attend to soon."

Nikku appeared, looking over Orochimaru's shoulder at the papers. "Sasuke Uchiha?"

"I have my own business to attend to." Orochimaru licked his lips, "And this Uchiha has potential."

"I see… Springtime is coming soon and you'll need to help me."

"I haven't forgotten."

* * *

Sonya looked down from Deidara's clay bird as it flew.

"Nice view un?"

Sonya smiled. "Great view."

"I told you it wouldn't be that bad."

"When did you say that?" Sonya gave him a skeptical look.

"Such fresh air… It makes my senses come alive un."

Sonya watched his hair flow with the wind. Why he had so much hair, she'd never ask. She kneeled at the edge of the bird when she pointed so Deidara would find it easier. "Rainbow."

Deidara turned the bird in that direction.

"Where are you going?"

"You wanted to see the rainbow un. So we're going to see if we can find and end or go right through it."

"If you're sure."

"Positive un."

"Won't the rest of the Akatsuki wonder where we are?" Sonya asked a while later.

"No. Sasori can cover for us if we're needed for a mission or something un."

Sonya's eyes widened. "One end is in the ocean."

"Un…"

"Why are we going that way?"

"The sun setting on the ocean shall be beautiful, but not as beautiful as you."

The clay bird flew over the ocean and as suddenly as the transition between land and water occurred, he felt Sonya holding him from behind, her nails digging into his chest like a cat afraid of water. "Sonya, what are you doing un?"

"Go back."

Deidara figured it out, she didn't like water. He had the bird fly closer to the water, so the belly of the bird was almost touching the surface, but slowly making a turn around. "You could almost touch it if you wanted to."

"Fly faster."

"You're afraid of water un?" Deidara teased.

"Not water, but large bodies of water."

"You're a shape shifter. What do you have to be afraid of un?"

"Fly faster."

Deidara could almost swear the nails were drawing blood. "Have it your way un."

Sonya's hold on him loosened when the transition to land occurred.

* * *

Itachi silently stalked Haiku as she headed to the kitchen. He was undetectable and yes, walking on the ceiling. The ceilings were high and he could walk on them and if Haiku were to be walking in the same way, their lips would meet perfectly.

Itachi knew, one day, he'd make her his forever. The hard part would be talking to and convincing her parents of letting her marry him. He would have her, even if that meant the end of his life was nearby.

Haiku stopped and without even looking back, "Itachi, I know you're there! Stop being a stalker!"

Itachi frowned, 'Damn she's good.'

* * *

**Author's Note: Poor Zetsu, being hugged from the crazy lady. ^_^ Itachi's willing to make himself sick so he can be sick with Haiku. That's either sweet of him, or a desperate move. Which do you think?**


	28. Chapter 28: Valentine's Day

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

**Haiku & Kola 2:**

**Relationship Problems **

**Chapter 28: Valentine's Day

* * *

**

**Author's Note: I'm glad to hear what everyone thinks about Itachi's decision to get sick. Itachi's gone through a lot to get where he is with Haiku and Madara's not so pleased by this. Many seem to side with Zetsu being very kind and gentle. Yet he will suffer greatly from being with Kola. Who knew him wanting to be with Kola would bring such a grave future? Enjoy the fic even if it's no where near Valentine's Day in real life, doesn't mean they can't go through it in the story. Lol. Oh yes, just as a warning, this chapter contains a lot of Madara and Muki being themselves, Madara's not-so-careful-planning and it's not my fault if you fall out of your seat. Why? You'll see. Enjoy.**

**

* * *

**

Sonya opened up the door once again. Lying at her feet lay a bouquet of various flowers. She already knew it was Deidara who left it there. This time, she kneeled down so she could check the tag. Yup. She figured as much. For her by her 'secret admirer'. Being a ninja was no excuse for being able to stay nearby to see if she got them or not because you're still not completely invisible and undetectable.

She got up, leaving the flowers and shut the door. She scribbled down a reply she set down on top of the flowers. She closed the door again. There was a knock at the door again. Sasori looked up from the human puppet he was adding poison compartments for. "Again?"

Sonya just smirked. When she opened up the door, a box of chocolates lay there instead. Leaving him a note saying she'd rather have chocolates instead of flowers sure comes in handy when he'd comply and being in a mood for chocolate only made the assorted box even tastier.

* * *

I smiled as I scanned over the fold up fan Itachi had given me. It had been white, but not it was obvious he had first painted red on it to make it resemble the Uchiha Crest, though the shape was different than the crest. His ability with a paintbrush was amazing. On one side, he recreated the red rose he had given me with so much detail, it was as if he had a picture of it imprinted on the fan. I was delighted to see the haiku he had written on the side that would face me with green writing that matched the shade of green the rose's stem was.

* * *

Like a gorgeous rose

Needed more than the sunlight

Be mine forever

* * *

I felt myself blushing once again as I reread his haiku. I actually never knew he wrote poetry. Either that, or he made an exception for me.

* * *

Zetsu thought long and hard about picking a simple flower. If he picked this iris, then he'd end up giving it to Kola. Then as he was well aware, he'd be sealing his fate.

"Are we really going to commit our entire fate to her?"

"**Who else?**"

"You do know how she's going to react to this."

"**So?**"

"Then we should be prepared to running away."

"**Why? What's the point of running away from getting married?**"

"Not that. When she finds out…"

"**How the baby is actually made?**"

"Yes."

"**Then we just won't tell her. That solves all the problems right then and there.**"

"But we can't deny her information."

"**But we can avoid the question.**"

"Such simple answers for complicated… situations."

"**Yeah. Sex.**"

Zetsu frowned, "You're being blunt."

"**You know it'll happen eventually.**"

"Or we'll end up like Haiku and avoid it at all costs."

"**Aren't we already doing that?**"

"Good point."

"**We picking it or not?**"

"Yeah."

* * *

Itachi looked carefully at the book he had been given. Itachi. Haiku had claimed she didn't know anything about it other than the fact it had a good first paragraph and had his name on it so she figured why not. 'That sounds like a great reason to give someone something,' Itachi mused to himself.

Itachi smirked at the memory. He had made Haiku blush simply by giving her a fan with a haiku on it. The rose added a nice touch to it if he thought so himself.

Itachi started reading the book with Haiku blushing still on his mind.

* * *

Kola looked up at Zetsu from where she sat. She had a puzzled expression on her face, not knowing whether or not to take what he offered her. After a minute, she looked up at Zetsu with wide, innocent eyes and a pout on her lips. "Zetsu-san, I've never been given a flower before."

Zetsu gulped. "You see Kola… **We love you very dearly.**"

Kola took the flower and closely examined it, a smile on her face. Carefully setting the flower down, she then tackled Zetsu to the ground in a hug. "I love you Zetsu!" She declared, her hug getting tighter.

* * *

I simply wanted to talk to my parents. What did I get? A room that had chakra seals covering it completely so the _fire_ wouldn't escape. Oh and what else? Two charcoled remains of what used to be my _parents_ who were known as extremely _respectable_ commanders of armies.

Sometimes I wonder what I'll ever do with them. But at the same time, I wonder if we've traded places. Now they are the ones who need to be watched while I'm the one who ends up taking care of the others and making sure they haven't hurt each other too badly.

Kakuzu's going to be furious…

And I feel tempted to get a blindfold before I have to deal with them.

I made my way over to my mother's skeleton, placing my right hand over her forehead. Sure they'd regenerate in maybe a few months or so, but I'd rather not have the fact of my parents who were most likely… and for some reason started a fire that would be contained in this room so they'd burn alive.

This better not be a fetish because I'm going to be the one healing them.

After a lot of chakra and time, Mom was completely back to normal and nude for that matter. She looked around as if seeing how much damage had been done. "You didn't have to help us, though it's greatly appreciated."

"Who are you and what did you do with Muki?"

"Kukuku."

"Seriously. Did the fire mess with your way of thinking?"

"Nah. Don't forget the Ass."

I sighed in defeat. "I know."

* * *

As I was about to leave the blackened room with its furniture that had turned into small black clumps on the ground when I heard a ripping sound. Quickly turning around, my now clothed parents had been facing each other when Dad ripped Mom's heart out of her chest.

She looked displeased.

And Dad smirked.

"Why'd you do that?"

"Her heart is rightfully mine."

I rolled my eyes. Taking the heart from him, I put it back into her chest, healing all of the injuries. "I already used a big amount of my chakra for the two of you. Please don't make any more big messes anytime soon."

As I was about to shut the door Muki stated, "No promises guaranteed, Little Princess."

* * *

"What did you want me for?" Itachi asked Haiku from under a tree.

"You beat me and now you're going to get your reward."

"What would that be?"

"I'm going to train you in a few fields."

"Hn?"

"Starting with being able to ride dragons."

"I'd rather not."

"Nonsense. This might come in handy one of these days." I performed the hand signs and summoned Flame.

Flame eyed Itachi carefully. "Yes Haiku?"

"Today I need your help for training."

"Ok." Flame replied. "What are we doing today?"

I jumped on his back. "Come on Itachi. You're going to learn how to stay on a dragon."

Itachi hesitantly jumped on beside me.

"Where to?" Flame asked.

"Kola's home that way we won't be disturbed."

"Teleport?"

"No. Chances are, Itachi will get sick."

"Ok." Flame headed off.

"Itachi, we'll practice on the way there."

* * *

Flame flew into the Terra Homeland. "You're doing great Itachi. Now to make things a bit more difficult."

"But I just got this part down." Itachi protested.

"Ready?" Flame questioned.

"Go ahead." Haiku replied.

Itachi was surprised to see his feet stayed firmly planted on Flame's scales even though he was making loops and going upside down.

"See Itachi? Nothing to it."

Itachi nodded.

"Now try moving about. How about walk down to Flame's tail tip as he spirals around again."

Itachi carefully made his way down to the very end of Flame.

"Good, now run back!" Haiku yelled to him.

Itachi rolled his eyes and did so, slipping right as he got to her and just about fell off.

Haiku offered him a hand. When Itachi got his feet firmly planted back on the scales, Flame was simply hovering in one spot. "Do you think you've gotten everything down I taught you today?"

"Yes."

"Good." Haiku paused, a smirk across her face, "Now for the next lesson."

Flame looked back at them, "What would that be?"

The dark red crane came out of Haiku's waterproof pouch. "Yes Haiku?"

"He's your leader for now." Haiku pointed at Itachi.

"WHAT?"

"You are training to work together more efficiently than last time."

"There is no way I'm working with the likes of him!"

"I don't care. You're working with him weather you like it or not."

"There is no reason for him to control an entire army."

"Technically you're in charge of the group, but he'll be acting in my place."

"Why should he get this type of training?"

"I have a feeling it will become useful one day. Like him learning how to ride dragons without falling off."

"But you'll be there to lead the army. There is no need to have him do your job."

"You're working with him and that's an order."

* * *

Itachi had just gotten the rundown of each type of crane's specialties. He had no idea there was so many different types! Like the large carrier crane. Or how about the waterproof cranes? There were just so many. For the practice however, she was just having him work with the groups he usually saw her working with.

She applied a few jutsu that somehow linked him in with the other cranes. Like now he could talk to the second-in-command just like how he'd talk to Haiku with crane talk without using any chakra. This she notified him would only be temporary, but her second-in-command had the ability to make the temporary link if it was ever needed to be established.

Itachi practiced moving each crane group around a few times before Haiku told him the next step in the training.

"I'm going to come at you, and you're going to defend yourself and defeat me." Haiku smiled, "But you this is just practice, so nothing serious."

"Are you sure about this?"

"Of course."

Flame got comfortable; this was something he wanted to watch.

'She means she wants us to either block her chakra points or to somehow make her unable to continue.'

'What do you suggest?'

'Get behind the tree, I know how she's going to attack. Just keep falling back from her attacks and use the forest to your advantage. She won't use fire while in this forest.'

'You sure?' Itachi questioned the crane.

'I've known her for a long time. I'm sure.'

Itachi avoided her kunai. He dislodged it from the bark of the tree before fading back even more into the trees.

Haiku watched with her activated sharingan. She already knew the cranes where getting into positions. She narrowed her eyes, Itachi must be getting along with the second-in-command. That was very surprising.

Itachi tensed up when he noticed the cranes had just blocked an attack for him. He hadn't even seen it coming. Itachi couldn't afford to let his mind wander again. There was no telling if the cranes would be able to protect him every time.

'You're so lucky we blocked that hit.'

'I know, but I have an idea.'

'About time you have a strategy.'

'Look, if you move the first group over to that limb and hide the second group way over there then you can have the third group come in from there. I can then attack her from this direction, pushing her towards the third group.'

'Interesting. Go ahead and try. I'll make sure you aren't injured while you get the army into positions.'

'Hn.'

* * *

"Zetsu."

"Yes Kola?"

"Now that you're my boyfriend, it's about time you told me how to make the baby."

"**When you're married.**"

"No fair Zetsu! I want to know now!"

"Kolima said when you are married. **So you will learn when you are married.**"

"Aw… Hey Zetsu."

"**What?**"

"Where's Stalker?"

"With Haiku."

"Where are they?"

"**In the forest of our homeland. Very close to the Meeting Tree.**"

"What are they doing?"

"Haiku's training him."

"For what?" Kola tilted her head, "Is she teaching him about stuff you won't let me know about?"

"**What?**"

"Making the baby or sex. You won't have sex with me. I don't see why not."

Zetsu did his best to hide his slight blush. "She was teaching him how to ride her dragons without falling and now he's commanding her army."

"Ok… But why won't we have sex? After all, the only thing that happens is that our relationship gets closer."

"I'd rather not talk about such things."

"You don't need to talk while having sex. _Everyone_ knows about that!"

"**Kola.**"

"What?"

"This topic is making me uncomfortable."

"Oh. OK! Do you want to play truth or dare?"

"**Just us?**"

"Of course silly!"

"You first." Zetsu said.

"Ok… Truth or dare?" Kola questioned.

* * *

I tucked the exhausted and unconscious Itachi in. He had been doing a lot of training today. I kept having the feeling I had overworked him. But he'll be just fine. He should have his chakra restored by tomorrow and if not I can restore it myself. He sure had gotten the hang of controlling the paper crane army. He wasn't that good at it because he hadn't been controlling them as long as I have been, but he was a whole lot better than the average person.

I looked over at the couch and then looked back at Itachi. He was now soundlessly sleeping away. It made me feel happy inside to know when he was content and so peaceful. I kissed him on the forehead before making my bed on the couch.

Today had been a long day of training. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

How would he have done if he was controlling a bigger army? More than three groups. Hn. Would he be able to manage twenty or more groups? The groups he was working with were a bit small, but in a war, the groups could be big or small. It all depends.

* * *

I woke up surprisingly still on the couch. Itachi was now awake reading the book I had given him.

"You're awake?" Itachi asked.

"Yes. How's the book?"

"Ok."

"Is it interesting?"

Itachi turned the page. "I'm tempted to say you're trying to tell me something by giving me this."

"What would that be?"

"You do know there has been two well written sex scenes so far." Itachi answered. "And I'm just about half way through."

I was shocked. "I told you, I never read it before."

"It sounds hard to believe you just wanted to give it to me because it had my name on it."

"That's why."

"If you say so." Itachi didn't sound convinced.

* * *

"Kakuzu what the fuck did you do with my fucken clothes?" Hidan screamed.

"I didn't touch your clothes." Kakuzu replied in a bored fashion.

"Then why do I have a pink skirt instead of my pants?"

"What? I couldn't hear you!" Kakuzu yelled back from his own bedroom.

"All of my clothes have been fucken replaced by fucken skirts and dresses!"

"A little louder."

"FUCK YOU!"

* * *

Muki was laughing her ass off by time she got back to Madara's room.

Madara eyed her. "What did you do this time?"

Muki wiped the tears with her sleeve, "Switched Hidan's clothes again."

"How many times are you going to do that?"

"Until he figures out it was me." Muki replied with a smirk on her face.

"I doubt that will ever happen."

"Maybe just until he realizes it wasn't Kakuzu or he ceases to be amusing." Muki snuggled up with Madara since he was lying on their bed.

* * *

Madara carefully poured the contents of the drug into one of the two cups of apple juice. He stirred the cup, making sure the drug would be undetectable. When he put the spoon in the sink Haiku grabbed a random glass.

"Can I have one?"

He glanced down at the other cup. Silently he cursed himself for not knowing if she had messed the order around. He was having a bit of trouble remembering which cup it was in to begin with. Why was this the one moment that might occur once in a few months where he just couldn't remember?

"Can I have this cup?" Haiku asked again.

"I was going to see if you wanted one anyway." Madara coolly replied.

"Thanks." She headed off to the living room while drinking the contents.

Madara ominously looked down at the remaining glass. Was this the one he had drugged or was it the one his daughter took? He picked up the cup and returned to his room where Muki would be waiting for him.

* * *

Muki glanced at him as soon as he arrived. "Took you long enough."

He handed it to her. "Apple juice."

She gulped the entire contents down. Handing it back to him she said, "More."

Madara took it and headed back to the kitchen. He could only hope Muki drank the one meant for her.

* * *

Itachi turned the corner when he was attacked. The next moment, he could only see darkness. One of his pressure points must have been hit, but how could it have happened so easily? Itachi's eyes grew wide. Madara.

Itachi tried to get up, but he couldn't. He knew he was wearing a blindfold and he was now tied up. Where was he?

Madara carefully went over his appearance, making sure he looked exactly like Itachi and there would be no way to tell the difference even for a sharingan user. He glanced at the closet that had been added on to the room recently. Itachi wouldn't be able to escape and ruin his plan.

* * *

Itachi sent chakra to his ears to figure out what was going on around wherever it was that he was located. He suddenly heard the ringing of Haiku's bell. So he must be still at the base. That was good.

"I was beginning to worry about you." Haiku's voice sounded concerned.

"Why would you do that?" Itachi heard his own voice. The two sounded like they were just outside of the room.

"Because I love you." Itachi could imagine her smile.

"Let's go." The imposter replied.

Itachi's heart sunk. It was Madara. It had to be Madara. He'd be the only one with a transformation jutsu that would fool even an Uchiha with the sharingan. Knowing Madara as well as he did…

Madara most likely was impersonating him to ruin his chances with Haiku.

Itachi was so close to winning Haiku's complete and undying love. Now his chances were down the drain. Madara would make sure Haiku hated his guts by time he was free. If he could even get free.

Itachi had to force himself to face it. He was never going to be with Haiku. He could only get so close before something would happen and he'd no longer be able to hope he could raise a family with her. Be married to her. See her happy face. See every part of her. See her under him. All he could do now was hope Madara would fail.

* * *

Madara while disguised as Itachi tripped in the hallway section Kola and Zetsu decided on lacing with traps and trip lines. He fumbled around on his hands and knees in the dark section of the hall for the two roses he had dropped.

Haiku avoided the trip line Madara tripped on. "You ok, Itachi?"

Madara's hand touched one of the stems. He quickly handed it to her.

"For me?"

"Yes." Madara found the other rose and hid it. He walked with his daughter and when they got to a more lighted area he expected Haiku to be mad.

Haiku had a big smile on her face. "Thank you Itachi!"

Madara pushed Haiku away from him as she tried to kiss him. He escaped in the blink of an eye and transformed back.

* * *

Muki just got back from the meeting with Pein and Konan. Madara rushed in, shutting the door behind him. He looked like he was running from something or someone. He regained his posture and handed her the rose without even seeing what color it was before it was presented to her.

PINK

Muki **hated** the color pink. She loathed the color with the fiery passion of ten thousands suns. Or at least she would if she were a fire wielder.

Madara frowned as if realizing what color it was.

* * *

Madara eyed the two packages suspiciously. Why did they have to wrap the two packages he ordered to look the exact same as the other? Madara was about to unwrap one of them when Muki clung to his arm, looking innocently over his shoulder. "For me?"

"Yes." Madara almost growled.

Muki snagged the box on the left. "Thank you Madara-sama." Muki purred.

* * *

Madara was once again in disguise as Itachi when he left the other package on the table in Itachi's room with Haiku's name on it. She'd find it when she got out of the bathroom.

* * *

Muki narrowed her eyes at the package. Her least favorite food which also happened to be the one she would prefer to have Madara remove from the face of this planet. Something was going on around here and it was about time she used one of her alliances to find out what.

* * *

Madara was suddenly hugged by Haiku. "Thank you so much for the dangos! I can't believe you'd give up such a rare type to me when you love them so much yourself."

"What are you talking about?" Madara stiffened when he felt Haiku feeling him up. Something was definitely wrong.

"The package you left for me."

Madara pried Haiku off of him before running for it. He reasoned with himself, 'It can't get worse.'

Haiku stood in the hallway not knowing what to do.

* * *

"Hi, Ghostie!" Kola waved to some random direction that Muki was definitely not in.

"I want to know a few things." Muki replied while invisible.

"What would that be?" Kola tilted her head to the side.

"What is Madara up to?"

"Ah. Tobi." Kola looked like she was thinking. "I'll be right back!"

Muki sat down on the couch waiting for the wavy haired young woman to return.

Kola teleported back into the room. "I'm back, Ghostie!"

"I'm still here."

Kola's voice turned down to a whisper. "Madara captured and tied up Itachi who is currently tied up in your closet. He's been changing his appearance to Itachi's and he's been trying to get Haiku to fall out of love with Itachi."

"How's that going?" Muki questioned.

"Not too well since he's been getting your presents mixed up with the ones he was going to give to Haiku."

Muki smirked.

"Apparently he was also trying to drug you, but Haiku took the cup that had it."

"What kind of drug?"

"I don't exactly know." Kola paused, "It's something that makes the person more affectionate for the day. Thankfully it wears off after a good sleep. Unfortunately for Haiku, my source was guessing such a drug would make her inner stages more likely to be unleashed."

"Ok."

Kola took a deep breath in which she used most of it on the first word, "Annndddddd… That's all we know."

* * *

Madara drew both baths. In one he poured in the contents of a very expensive bath soap Muki loved to use every now and then. In the other, he poured bleach. This would at least get Haiku upset with Itachi.

* * *

Muki slid into the warm bath only to scream from the pain. The cuts Madara had given her on various parts of her body were all stinging. "MADARA!" This she wasn't expecting whatsoever.

* * *

Haiku slid into the warm bath. It was so soothing with the great aroma floating on the air of the bathroom. She had almost forgotten how relaxing it was to take a bath instead of a shower every now and then!

* * *

Itachi was becoming more and more paranoid by what Madara was doing. He needed to know if his relationship with Haiku was destroyed or not. On top of that, he suddenly needed to use the bathroom and if he couldn't soon, he was going to pee his pants.

* * *

As Itachi, Madara was now being pinned to the bed by Haiku. More accurately, her Inner Muki. It seems it _could_ and _did_ get worse than before.

Muki entered the room and suddenly grew protective over him which was usually the other way around and somehow knew it was him. She tackled her daughter of off him and Madara took this chance to turn himself back to his normal self.

Just as Haiku was looking around for Itachi, the real Itachi was somehow quickly obtained and shoved into the Inner Muki. Now the drugged Haiku was no longer their problem. Let Itachi deal with her!

And that was when Muki and Madara made their escape.

* * *

Itachi wondered if Haiku would remember anything from yesterday. Sure a lot of things happened and he also found the Limited Edition Chocolate Dangos irresistible. He only ate one because he wanted to save the rest so he could eat them with Haiku. Would she even remember being drugged?

After being pushed into Haiku, he had two options: Take advantage of her, more accurately be taken advantage of by her in her drugged Inner Muki state or put her to sleep with the sharingan.

He chose the second option though he was oddly regretting for not chosen the first one. But it would be very awkward…

* * *

I sat up from Itachi's bed. Itachi was sitting on the couch with his legs up with a stick from a dango in his mouth. "Itachi…"

He looked over at me. It seemed as if he had been just snapped out of deep thought.

"What happened yesterday? The last thing I remember was drinking some apple juice."

Itachi smirked, "That's all you need to know."

"What did you do?"

"I did nothing." Itachi grabbed the box. "Dango?"

* * *

**Author's Note: Sorry for it being long… To tell the truth I was kinda stuck at a few places in this chapter. I have a lot planned out in future chapters, but I had to work on and finish this chapter before I could start using the ideas I had planned out. Yeah… Googala2 was having on of her many days where she can help come up with a lot of very funny story plots. ^_^ So thank you! Like many of my close friends, she doesn't mind if I use some of the ideas created while we are chatting during class. What can I say? Free time in class. Besides we can chat and work at the same time. ^_^ So what'd you think?**


	29. Chapter 29: Springtime Begins

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

**Haiku & Kola 2:**

**Relationship Problems**

** Chapter 29: Springtime Begins

* * *

**

**Author's Note: Feel free to ask any questions and I'll do my best to answer as so long as it's not giving too much away. ^/_\^  
**

**blaze : Well based on the Terra Clan's traditions, that's how they propose, but since Kola is who she is, the only way Zetsu would be able to get through to her with his feelings is if he were to do that. So even though she's acting as if he proposed marriage to her, he just wanted to be at the status of dating her. Kola being Kola, would see it as a proposal anyway, but once again, that was Zetsu's only way to tell her how he felt. Haiku saw the remains of her parents who had intentionally burnt themselves because they are immortal and could do wild and crazy stuff like that if they please. As for Haiku teaching Itachi all those things, she has her reasons and you'll see why...**

**hisoka-ai9 : The problem with Haiku consuming such a drug would make her unstable and allow her Inner Muki to get out easier as so long as the drug would be in affect as Kola pointed out to Muki. Because of such instability on Haiku being drugged with this one in particular, it would be iffy if she'd remember such things ever occurring. If it was Muki who had it, which Madara wanted in the first place, then she might spare him just the slightest bit when she starts her next period. Yeah, even if Madara didn't mess up in his planning and his only mistake was Haiku drinking the wrong glass, then chances are, she still wouldn't remember what had happened since she didn't remember the events of what happened when he messed up anyway. The only desired result would be her being cold to Itachi until she went to sleep. Then to Itachi's relief, she would have been back to her normal self, unsure of what had happened the day before. Muki wasn't displeased as much or wanted revenge on Madara for what he had done simply because she found it amusing and wanted to see what would happen next. After all, Muki likes messing around now and then too. She most likely just wanted to see what kind of stunts Madara would pull off.  
**

**

* * *

**

The entire organization was enjoying the first day of Spring. The weather was so nice and sunny with a small, cool breeze blowing by every now and then.

Kola's hair turned green with all the sunlight and the rest of the Akatsuki, excluding Zetsu and I, were completely amazed.

"Kola, why is your hair green?" Sonya asked.

"I'm making sugar!" Kola happily replied.

"Photosynthesis." I answered.

"Your hair can use photosynthesis un?" Deidara looked confused.

"Yes! Any of our hair can turn green and use photosynthesis!" Kola stood up, starting to undo her pants, "Even-"

"KOLA!"

Kola stopped. "But yeah. Photosynthesis makes a good snack, but not a meal." Kola sat back down.

Tobi looked over at Zetsu who was also enjoying the sun. "Even Zetsu-san?"

"Yes." Zetsu stated, absorbing the sunlight and becoming a bit lazy.

Kola got hot and took off her jacket revealing her fishnet shirt she had underneath. "That's better!"

The holes on Kola's arms gained the attention of the Akatsuki, even Zetsu.

Kola looked around. She grinned and pushed her finger in a small black spot in the exact center of the perfectly round dip in her arm. She moved her finger around to see what the expression of everyone else was. "Some of them I can put a muffin in and the bottom will sit perfectly straight!"

"What are those?" Kisame asked as politely as he could without sounding offensive though he forgot this was Kola and Kola didn't get insulted.

"Scars." Kola blinked a few times. "I'll show you all my Zetsu patch!" Kola got up again and undid her pants. On the right side, she pulled her pants down past her hip, showing off her neon green underwear with a patch of venus flytraps. "See!"

There was a few murmurs to Zetsu. Stuff like 'way to go' and 'wow I can't believe you slept with her' and 'keep up the good work' while Zetsu became increasingly red.

Itachi asked. "Why is there a dip?"

Kola pulled down her underwear on her right hip showing another hole. "It's my biggest scar. It's a little over five inches in diameter! I can set a big chocolate muffin in it!" The whole apparently started right at the very tip of her hip and the scar formed a large dip out of the bone in her hip. "See? I have a lot!" Kola fixed her underwear and pants. She pulled up both pants legs and proved to the whole Akatsuki that the lowest holes happened to end right before the cloth of her Capris ended.

Zetsu asked, "**How'd you get them? **I remember you were getting sick…"

"That's easy." Kola looked around. "Haiku gave them to me!"

I was wide eyed, "Kola! How could you say such things?"

"It's true!"

"I saved your life!"

"But you still gave them to me."

* * *

Itachi wondered to himself whether Haiku had them too. Sure he had seen what she said was how she looked like when completely naked before, but she was also the one of the two sisters to care about what she looked like. Haiku would be the one to hide such scars while Kola had the bold and unashamed personality. There was no telling what she'd do.

Run around naked yelling she was just like the moon.

Itachi whispered to Haiku while everyone else was asking Kola about her scars. "Do you have those too?"

"No. How could you think such things?"

"Kola has them."

"Kola got an illness invented by Nikku that would kill only the immortal Terra members. It wasn't possible for a non-Terra member to get it. Zetsu somehow escaped too. Maybe because he couldn't heal others, only himself."

"What's the fucken black spot you keep fucken fingering?" Hidan ranted. "It's getting fucken annoying watching puss come out of that fucken hole of yours."

"It's the only thing that remains of when I got sick. Haiku saved me by coming up with a cure. This whole thing was draining fluids!" Kola traced one of the holes. "All of this was black! And it was very painful." Kola nodded her head.

Zetsu looked ashamed for asking, "Doesn't it liquefy your body and internal organs?"

"Yup! That's what hurts the most! And then of course the juices start draining out of these big holes I got. The biggest one was the first one I got. After I got cured, Haiku spent a lot of time getting rid of the liquids and reforming me." Kola nodded and then grinned, "That's also why I don't have to suffer from periods every month."

Haiku frowned, "Why do you taunt me every month?"

"Because I can." Kola grinned.

"You still have them, it's just on random months."

"But I still don't have to suffer every month." Kola was grinning from ear to ear.

* * *

Haiku traced Itachi's lines right before kissing him. He brought her closer to him, holding her dearly. Itachi moved his head just the slightest to one side to see who was now at the doorway with his lips still touching Haiku's.

Kola blinked a few times. "I'll just leave you two lovebirds alone." Kola took a few steps back and shut the door.

Itachi continued to kiss Haiku until that is; she pushed him away when his hand slipped under her shirt. Itachi frowned.

"Itachi, apparently I'm supposed to go see what kind of mission Pein wants me to do."

Itachi gave her a skeptical look.

"I love you Itachi." With that, she left the room, leaving him alone.

Itachi knew he needed to talk to Muki eventually, so he too left the room, but in the direction of Madara's room.

* * *

Itachi knocked and almost immediately the door swung open.

Madara.

His eyes narrowed ominously at Itachi. Even though Itachi looked emotionless, internally he worried where the hell Haiku was because the look Madara was giving him told it all. Itachi was good as dead.

"What do you want?" Madara growled.

Itachi felt like he was shrinking in Madara's presence. He managed to make his voice monotone, not portraying even the slightest bit of fright. "I wanted to talk to Muki."

"Too bad. She's not here."

"Thank you." Itachi started heading off when his wrist was pulled back towards the door. He was forced inside, but Madara kept the hold on his wrist.

"What did you want to talk to her about?"

"It's not a big deal."

Madara frowned, "You have the guts to lie to me?"

Itachi's eyes widened just the slightest bit. Madara was using the hold to check his already racing pulse. Madara would one day kill him and the problem with that was Itachi didn't know when that would be. "It was about Haiku."

Madara's sharingan activated at the name of his daughter. "What about her?"

Itachi knew he had no choice but to tell him. Sure it would most likely mean his death, but lying to Madara would mean an even more painful death. "Marriage."

"WHAT?"

"I haven't talked to her on the matter, but I wanted to get permission from her parents first."

"And you wanted to talk to _only_ Muki on the matter?"

"No. I just wanted to make sure Muki was present."

Madara's grip tightened.

"I wanted to talk to Muki. I didn't know about you!" Itachi realized he was beginning to freak out. He tried to calm himself down. He wasn't going to die just yet.

Muki came in and noticed Madara's grip on Itachi's wrist. She looked very upset about the whole matter. "You're having an affair with him? You should at least tell our daughter you're with her boyfriend." She spun around and headed for the door. "I'm eloping with Orochimaru!" She ran away.

Madara snapped Itachi's wrist before trying to find Muki and stop her from running way with the snake.

* * *

Pein handed Haiku a scroll. "Your mission is to retrieve Orochimaru's ring. An appointment to see him has already been set and if at all possible, try and do this peacefully. After getting the ring, then you can kill him."

"Can or do you want me to?"

"Your decision."

Haiku read through the scroll. "Who's coming with me?"

"Itachi and Kisame. They don't yet know of the mission so inform them. The appointment is at noon."

"Ok." Haiku then left.

* * *

I was walking in the hallway towards Kisame's room when I spotted Itachi. Judging by his movements, he was in a great deal of pain. "Itachi, what happened?"

"Nothing."

"Then why are you holding your wrist?"

"I broke it."

"How?"

"It just happened."

I took a good look at it. "Hn…" I made sure the pain receptors in his arm were blocked before healing the break. When it was completely healed, I unblocked the pain receptors. "There you go."

"Thanks."

"You look like you had a talk with my dad."

"…"

"You look paler than usual. He broke your wrist didn't he?"

Itachi nodded his head just the slightest bit.

"I know he may seem like the most frightening being on the face of the earth for you, but just remember, as so long as I love you, Mom won't let anything happen to you."

"He already put me in a coma."

I took a deep breath and let it out, "Sure he will hurt you, but he won't kill you or else he'll face a century of celibacy on the couch."

* * *

Madara sat down with his legs crossed in deep concentration. He was currently looking through the eyes of the first bug he found. A Lady Bug.

The bug flew down about twenty stairs when meeting a pair of closed doors. He had it wait nearby for a follower to open the door so he could slip inside. The stairs spun around and around before reaching a floor in which was like a labyrinth. He though of himself as lucky because the first door he entered was Orochimaru's.

Since he had long since trained himself to be able to see Muki with his sharingan, there would be no way for her to escape his sight.

Orochimaru was sitting at the edge of his bed looking down at some papers. Muki was on her knees behind him looking over his shoulder. Then she kissed him! He couldn't believe she had done such a thing and to someone like that snake!

Muki disappeared from his view when she apparently lay back on the bed. Orochimaru put the papers away and tossed his shirt on the ground. He then lay on the bed right around where Muki was at.

When he got his hands on Orochimaru, he was going to break every bone in his body and then kill him!

Madara noticed Kabuto's foot mere seconds before it crunched the bug.

Madara got up from his spot and attacked the nearest object, which so happened to be a big tree. The trunk was crushed under the force of his fist and the whole thing crashed down to the forest floor.

Madara was lying on the forest floor, practically in tears which was unheard of. Izuna would be making some kind of joke about this. Most likely saying something about this being Muki and she wouldn't do anything like that. She's just messing around.

Madara sat up when he heard a set of footsteps approach him.

Muki.

Her shirt was torn open. Red marks were scattered across her skin. Red welts around her neck. She was currently cursing that snake and saying it was his fault she was all sticky. Small twigs and leaves littered her hair. She was an absolute mess.

"Madara-sama, what are you doing there?" Muki looked down at him. It seemed like she just noticed him.

"What did he do to you?"

"A lot of this is all that damn snake's fault." Muki crossed her arms. "I can't believe his is so much longer than yours."

If Madara weren't so angry with Orochimaru, his jaw would have dropped.

Muki rubbed her neck where there were a few red welts. "Stupid snake." She muttered. She looked up at the sky. "I got to go back. Bye Madara-sama."

"No!" Madara got up and tried following her, but now there was some kind of invisible barrier he couldn't break through. Madara got back and charged. He was able to break through, but there was another one in its place. He got back even more and charged again, but the first wall was back in place.

Something caught his eye. He looked up into the sky to see Flame flying towards the Orochimaru's hideout. On his back were three passengers, but for some reason they were allowed in, but he wasn't.

* * *

Madara sat at the nearest bar. He was just waiting for one of the people here to get him pissed so he'd have the excuse of killing him. Then he'd most likely release his anger by massacring the rest of the people in this building. He overheard a conversation of two of Orochimaru's followers nearby.

"Have you seen her?"

"I have. She looks like a mess."

"She's really loud. She must be Lord Orochimaru's prostitute."

"Yeah, I heard he was thinking about getting one."

"But she's so small!"

"Maybe he likes women who are short."

Madara's fists hit the table as he got up. He cracked his knuckles; these two were going to die.

"Can I help you?"

"That's my _wife_ you're talking about." Madara growled.

"It's not our fault if you married a prostitute."

In short, that was the last time anyone ever heard from those two. In fact that was the last time anyone ever heard of anyone who was present at that bar other than Madara Uchiha. As he left the bar, the building was on fire.

Black flames.

And everyone dead.

* * *

"Ah, long time no see." Orochimaru licked his lips.

"…" Itachi and I remained silent, but we were both already glaring.

"You know why we've come." Kisame said.

"Yes I do." Orochimaru turned his head to the door. "Why should I give it to you?"

"You are no longer in the Akatsuki and so we want it back." I replied.

"Who's going to get it? You?"

"That's not our decision."

"If that's the only reason why you're here, then I'd like to ask you to leave." Orochimaru hissed, no longer gazing at the door.

"We aren't leaving without it." Itachi stated.

"Then you're going to die." The person who just entered said.

I froze up. "Nikku."

"But then again, you're going to die either way." Nikku continued.

"We aren't looking for a fight." Itachi said in monotone.

"So this is the infamous Itachi Uchiha in which Haiku is so in love with." Nikku was standing next to where Orochimaru sat. "I'd love to make Haiku watch you die in front of her very eyes."

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"This is my brother."

"You don't have any siblings."

"You don't either. You were adopted and same with my good friend here." Nikku tapped Orochimaru, "Would you like a head start?"

"We need that ring." Kisame stated.

"Well that's too bad." Orochimaru hissed.

"How have you been dreaming lately, Haiku?" Nikku smirked.

"Great since you've been kicked out of my mind at night." I glared at him.

'We found the ring.' My second-in-command notified me.

'Good. Take it as discretely as you can and put it in Itachi's weapon pouch.'

'We'll do the best we can.'

'Let me know when you got it.'

"How has Kola and Zetsu been? Are they still best of friends?" Nikku smiled.

"They've been fine." I replied.

'Got it in the pouch. They don't know.' The second-in-command declared.

'Good job. Hide in there.'

'What?'

'Just do it.'

"Now tell me, would you like to die here or would you like a head start?" Nikku smirked, "It makes no difference to me."

"We'll leave peacefully." I answered. "Come on. We need to get out of here."

"Good answer." Nikku looked a little bit surprised.

"What about the ring?" Kisame asked me when we were hurrying out of the hideout.

"Forget the ring. Our lives are more important." I answered looking around for Flame as soon as we made it outside.

Flame flew to us, "Ready to go so soon?"

"We need to go now." I jumped up on Flame. Itachi and Kisame followed me.

* * *

Muki watched as Haiku, Itachi and Kisame fled. She wandered around while invisible and found the kitchen. Her stomach growled. Looking around, in the freezer she found a carton of ice cream. With her finger, she tried a little bit. Not bad at all.

* * *

"What's with the rush?" Kisame asked.

"He's going to kill us." I could feel myself shaking. Was this going to lead to my death?

"Haiku." Itachi whispered into my ear. "We're away from him now. He can't hurt us. Calm down."

"I love you, Mammal. When we get back, empty your weapon pouch, but not until you get there."

"Why?"

"Just do as I say."

"What are you two talking about?" Kisame was a bit curious of what the two were saying.

I looked back at him. My eyes widened. I got up as quickly as I could and jumped over Kisame, knocking Nikku and I off of Flame.

Nikku brushed himself off, "Nice eyes." Nikku looked at the surroundings, a very small little meadow.

Flame circled back around, "What are you doing?"

"I'll kill them both." Nikku whispered.

"Not as so long as I live." I whispered back.

"Why put your life on the line for others?"

"Because they are my friends."

Nikku pulled out a kunai. He formed a vine that he tied around Flame and tried to pull himself up to Flame so he could attack Kisame and Itachi.

I quickly grabbed him by the foot and used all the power I could to force him back. Flame was also being pulled to the ground, but with a breath of fire, he burned the vine up.

"GET OUT OF HERE!" I yelled to them.

Itachi pulled out his katana and was about to jump down to help me.

"FLAME, GET THEM BOTH TO SAFETY!"

Kisame grabbed Itachi by the arm. "She wants us to get out. Don't worry; she can beat him on her own. She's stronger than we give her credit for."

* * *

Zetsu was sitting with Kola, watching a movie when a crane came to life. "Can I talk to you alone, Zetsu-san?"

"Yes." Zetsu got up. "**Kola, we'll be right back.**"

"Ok." Kola continued watching the show.

"What is it?" Zetsu asked as soon as they were away from the hearing range of anyone.

"Message from Haiku." The crane replied. "She said she knows she's asking a big task, one that requires a lot of chakra, but are you still willing to do it?"

"**Depends on what it is.**"

"She wants you to put a large chakra seal on the whole entire base so that no one can teleport here."

"But then she won't be able to while she's there."

"Don't bring this up with anyone, but she's going to be facing Nikku."

"**Alone?**"

"Yes."

"Does she need someone to help her?"

"The way she wants help is so that if she loses, she doesn't want Nikku to be able to get here."

"**You mean she is unsure if she's going to win this?**"

"Exactly. Her main objective is to get enough time for Flame to get here with Itachi and Kisame."

"Even if she dies?"

"Yes."

"Why? She doesn't even know if she's immortal like her parents!"

"She said she loves you all."

* * *

Flame was hesitant of leaving, but he knew she had to and it was of great importance. He decided that once he got Itachi and Kisame to safety, then he'd come back as soon as he could to help Haiku. The only bad part about this is he couldn't just teleport because it was Haiku who made it so he could do so. He had to fly all the way there the long way to go.

* * *

Itachi was worried. He couldn't believe they were just leaving her there. He wanted to help. He wanted to be there. But would he just get in the way? Itachi was on the brink of tears already. He worried for her life. She didn't even know he wanted to marry her.

* * *

Kisame looked back, seeing Haiku there with Nikku. She was purposely trying to buy them time, but why was she so worried about this person. Who was Nikku and how'd she know him?

Kisame watched how Itachi's body quivered just the slightest bit. So he was that upset already… The bond the two shared had grown exponentially sense they saw each other on the night of the fireworks festival.

* * *

Haiku's second-in-command looked out of Itachi's weapon pouch. What the hell was Haiku doing? She needed him to help, but instead she had him and some of the troops stationed with Itachi. He wanted to take the others with him and help her, but orders were orders and he had to abide by them.

* * *

**Author's Note: Lots has been going on. Bet you didn't think Kola had scars let alone scars that looked like that! Muki's just messing around again and believe it or not, she's getting research done, but not the type of research Jiraya does. She's looking up files to see what he's been up to. As to why she looked like that when she found Madara, she'll explain eventually. Will Itachi be able to get the 'ok' from Haiku's parents to get married to her? Many are worried about Haiku facing Nikku, but who do you think will win and why?**


	30. Chapter 30: Cat and Mouse

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

**Haiku & Kola 2:**

**Relationship Problems**

** Chapter 30: Cat and Mouse

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**

**Author's Note: Due to my computer giving me difficulties, I had to update now, while I still can since I don't know when I'm going to be able to use it again. Thankfully I got this chapter done in time.**

**blaze : No, Kola and Zetsu didn't 'do it'... yet. They haven't gotten to make the baby yet. *innocent face* Haiku doesn't know if she's immortal and yes, the apple is _supposed_ to make the one who ate it immortal. **

**melioko : You'll see. ^/_\^**

**AnimeCrazed121 : I hope you're right about that... Itachi would be devastated if anything happened to her.**

**CuttlefishShiz : There should be some interesting events coming up soon. At least they may seem a bit interesting to everyone else, unfortunately it may not be as random as what Kola did in the last chapter.  
**

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* * *

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Nikku made a sword made from a dark green vine with an edge to it. In his other hand, he made one that was a spear. "Are you sure you'd rather die in their place?"

I pulled out my two metal fans. With the shake of each wrist, the two both opened up. "Are you sure I'm going to die?"

"I'm immortal." Nikku said right before being sent to the Tsukuyomi.

* * *

Zetsu finished using the jutsu Haiku wanted him to use that covered the entire Akatsuki base. He then came back into the room in which Kola was still watching the show.

"Aw… Zetsu, you missed the last bit!"

"Oh well." Zetsu replied.

"You seem a bit distant. Are you ok?"

"**I'm fine.**"

"If you say so…" Kola moved her legs so Zetsu could get his spot again.

* * *

I closed my eyes, listening to the breeze that just blew through the meadow. It was hard to believe he was dead already. It couldn't be that easy.

The dirt shifted underneath him as he stood up. I opened up my eyes. He was quick to come back to life too.

Nikku healed up the wounds he had received from his trip to the Tsukuyomi. His fist tightened around his sword and he threw the spear at me. With one fan, I blocked the spear and I retreated back into the woods.

Nikku looked back and forth between going after me or going after Flame. He decided it would be easier to go after the second option.

When he made the slightest signs of heading the other way, I made my sharingan level go up to the seventh. Going to such a high level made me feel a little bit sick to my stomach. Nonetheless, I went on with my sharingan technique.

* * *

Itachi looked back. Everything had stopped. Everyone except those on Flame and Haiku seemed to be moving. "What's going on?"

Flame looked back at Haiku. "Looks like she had no choice but to use that." Flame thought out loud.

"Use what?"

"She has nine levels on her sharingan. She also stays on either level four or five."

"Why are you telling us this?" Itachi asked.

"She's on seven. Not only does using that level use a bit more chakra than on the lower levels even though four and five have been used so frequently that it takes little to no chakra to use, but she's also using the sharingan technique for that level. The one that can freeze time."

"She can do that?"

"The Terra messed around with her sharingan giving her many levels she could use, each with it's own added benefits. But also, when using seven and up, those techniques require a large sum of chakra."

"How much will she have left after this?"

"The longer she uses it, the more this one uses. She's most likely going to have to rely on the chakra in her necklace after this."

"Why would she use so much?"

"She wants to buy us as much time as possible." Flame replied.

* * *

I grabbed my beaded necklace, pulling chakra out. Then I stopped the technique, going back down to five. It was no longer possible to see Flame.

"What did you just do?" Nikku looked outraged.

I steadied my breathing. "You aren't going to kill them. I'm not going to let you even have the chance to."

Nikku charged at me with the energy of a stampede of a hundred elephants. I took this chance to run for the hills. It would be easier to fight over there and it would also put more distance between him and Itachi.

"Get back here!"

"You got to catch me first!" I picked up my speed, jumping from tree branch to tree branch.

As I got closer to the edge of the forest, I assembled my army. I had to get out of the forest or else I'd start a forest fire.

Nikku landed on the rocky terrain. So much for the forest… Nikku used his sword to deflect the shuriken. "Now you're just playing with me?" Nikku accused as he started ripping paper shuriken. His hand that wielded the sword grew sticky, but Nikku had no idea what it was. With his other hand, he tried to wipe the oil away, which only smeared it. Cranes came in and also liquefied on him in various places.

Nikku did his best to get rid of the stuff, but no matter how hard he tried, it only smeared more and more. The hand that held the sword grew stiff and the joints refused to move. His knee that also had a bit of this oil was locked into place. "What are you doing?" Nikku's eyes widened as he noticed his hand that was becoming covered in a bark. Every place where the oil was smeared locked the muscles and joints into place and started producing bark.

A dark green vine with a single fire blossom wrapped around him. He tried spitting on the oil, but the oil was unaffected by it. He was almost completely covered by this bark when the fire blossom opened up. Haiku got clear out of the way for when the flower produced a single flame…

BOOM

I watched as the bark and oil ignited and exploded into a massive ball of fire. I got him. Why is it that he could be killed so easily, but came back to life quickly? I couldn't possibly let myself die once without fearing about never coming back. I thought of Itachi and what my life would be like if I were to survive this mess. If I could find a way to get Nikku to permanently die.

If I were to ever have a family of my own, I'd want him to be at my side. He'd be the only one I'd want to live every day of my life with.

Cool metal was pressed against my throat. I let myself get distracted.

Nikku pulled the kunai into her throat, but surprisingly, her figure broke up with a bunch of cranes. His healing abilities were still working on the countless burns he had. He felt lucky he was immortal or else there would have been no possible way for him to have escaped that one.

Nikku watched as Haiku looked like she was trying to pinch the sun out of the sky. His eye twitched as a miniature sun was made and sent hurling towards him.

My eyes nervously scanned the surroundings. He somehow managed to avoid that one. I gasped as his fingers wrapped around my ankle and pulled me under. Nikku was merged into the ground, but that's something I couldn't get the hang of during my training with Kola. You could say, when I teleported into the ground, I was simply making small, temporary portals to go through.

He was making it so that he was merging with the ground. Sure I was merged with the ground too, but many of the sharp rocks were somehow managing to scrape me up. Where the hell was he going?

I pulled all the chakra out of one of the beads in my necklace, forming a ball of highly condensed chakra. The last time I had used it was when Kola trapped Itachi and I in a cave.

Nikku continued traveling downwards at a rapid pace. He didn't notice what Haiku was doing. He had to let go of her when the ball of chakra just about hit him in the back of the head.

I stayed suspended in the earth, so I had to do my best to teleport without getting too many injuries while surrounded by so many rocks that were cutting my skin.

When I got back to where I was before Nikku pulled me down, I was on my hands and knees, trying to catch my breath and relax a little bit. My chakra went to work on cleaning out and healing the cuts and bruises I had received. I could feel myself getting tired from all the chakra usage.

Green vines crawled around me at a rapid growth pace. As they grew, buds appeared along with some leaves. The buds opened up into two different purple shaded flowers. I got up and pulled out two kunai to deflect the poison darts shot out by the lighter purple flowers. The darts stopped and the darker shade of purple opened up, releasing a cloud of poison.

Nikku watched Haiku from a distance. She had created a fire rose to protect herself from the gas. She sat in the enclosure, pulling more chakra from her necklace. Apparently she didn't breathe in any poison or get hit by a dart.

Nikku performed the hand signs and pulled the water from the river nearby, forcing it to slam against the fire rose Haiku sat in. He frowned as the fire was unaffected by the water. He wrapped the jet of water around and slammed it once again into Haiku's enclosure. When it became clear to him that he was just wasting chakra did he let the water go back to its original course back into the river.

I waited for Nikku to give up and put the water back before opening up the fire rose. I carefully took my first steps out of the fire rose. Nikku was nowhere in site. Once I made the fire rose go away, I had the instinct to take out my katana. As soon as I did, it hit the sword belonging to Nikku.

Careful manipulation of the sword fight proved Nikku wasn't as good as he made himself out to be when it came to using his weapon. I saw a flaw in his defenses and took advantage of it, thrusting the blade deep within his rib cage.

My katana cleanly cut through the log that replaced him. The two pieces hit the ground with a thunk.

My free hand went straight to my throat. The bastard teleported behind me and was using a vine to choke me.

Nikku squeezed harder, making the loop smaller. A deep frown etched onto his face when in the place of Haiku was a single white paper crane. He watched it flutter away from him at a leisurely place. Nikku thought about simply grabbing the origami piece and ripping it up.

He spun around at the sound of Haiku's Great Fireball Jutsu coming right at him. He quickly performed a water jutsu that took the water from the river and counteracted with the fireball. Hot steam rose into the air and neither fire nor the water used in the jutsu remained.

Nikku found himself surrounded by flying ravens. He really didn't want to have to deal with this. He cringed at the discovery of this being a genjutsu. It didn't seem to be something Haiku had ever known before. Where'd she get it? Judging by the ever so slightest hint of uncertainty on her face, this was the first time she had ever used it.

* * *

Itachi sat down on the bed. He gazed longingly at the door, wondering if Haiku was going to appear at any moment. They had failed the mission and Kisame volunteered to talk to Pein and thus get his wrath. Kisame said he was going to take the blame for it if there was going to be any punishment and go alone.

Itachi remembered about Haiku telling him to look in his weapons pouch. He emptied its contents out onto the bed. Along with his kunai and shuriken tumbled out a small squad of cranes including the dark red one and a ring.

The dark one came to life, "Don't you have to do something to that ring or did she have us get it for nothing?"

Itachi picked up the ring and examined it, "You got Orochimaru's ring?"

"Yes we did. It was Haiku's idea to have us and the ring go in that pouch."

Haiku's second-in-command… "What are you doing here with me? Shouldn't you be helping Haiku in her fight?"

"I wish." The crane got more comfortable, "She gave us orders to stay with you. She still has a good portion of her army to work with."

"Why did she want you to stay with me?"

"_Oh I don't know_… Maybe it's because she loves you and she… OH SHIT!"

Itachi knew if the crane was a human, he would have been wide eyed. "What is it?"

"Just get the ring to Pein before it's too late." The crane said in its usual voice, most likely trying to get Itachi to forget what he said.

Itachi snagged the ring and ran towards Pein's office.

* * *

"Why have you come back without the ring?" Pein asked.

Kisame bowed his head, "I'm sorry, but we had to go back early."

"Where's the other two?"

"Haiku stayed behind to fight someone who she obviously knew from somewhere."

"I see."

There was a knock at the door.

"Come in." Pein demanded.

Itachi came in. He set the ring at Pein's desk.

Pein picked it up and carefully examined it. He then looked at Kisame, "I thought you said the mission was a failure?"

"It was." Kisame answered.

"Then why do you have the ring here?" Pein questioned.

"Haiku had a small squad of cranes retrieve them and didn't tell me that was what she snuck into one of my pouches. She didn't want me to check until we got here." Itachi answered.

"Very cleaver. Who is this person she's fighting?"

"Nikku." Itachi replied. "An enemy of the Terra Clan."

* * *

Itachi left Pein's office and was trying to make up his mind of what to do now when Kola came running to him with the book wide open. "Hey Stalker! I have something funny to show you!"

"What is it?" Itachi asked.

"Come on. I'll show you when we get to the kitchen."

"Why there?"

"I like the kitchen." Kola smiled before darting off in that direction.

* * *

I accessed the chakra in the necklace. There wasn't very much left… And it would only be a matter of time until Nikku breaks out of the genjutsu. What am I going to do?

I flinched as the cranes blocked a punch belonging to Nikku. To be snapped out of my own thoughts so suddenly…

I pulled out my two metal fans again and sunk into a good stance that I could move around in easily. I needed to not waste any more chakra. I had to use the rest for something that might be able to get rid of him for good.

* * *

Frost lay in the den, eyes closed and wrapped around her egg.

"We're just about out of food. I'm going out to get some more." Magma said. "Unless that is… if you'd rather me stay and you could go. Or we could both stay and wait for Flame and Diamond to get back from playing with Willow to see if they could do it. What would you like?"

Frost cracked one eye open, "Go ahead. We'll be fine here. Take your time and I might take a nap."

"You sure?"

"Stop worrying. I'll be fine with the little one."

"I love you… Frost."

"I love you too." Frost listened to Magma leave. He sounded a bit annoyed about the snow not completely melted by now. The snowy weather had lasted a bit longer than it usually did in the Summoning Realm. That meant they couldn't just stay in the den for the whole winter if they really felt like it.

Frost picked up the egg to keep it close to her warmth and took a look at the entrance. Only half of the opening was available. It was a whole lot better than it was before. Not that she really cared if the winter lasted a bit longer. Only her unhatched baby made her hope the snow would go away soon.

* * *

I felt myself becoming off balanced. My stances were all off, even if it was only by the slightest bit. I could feel my warm blood dripping down my cheek from a cut I had just gotten. I had to be more careful. I can't let myself be even the slightest bit clumsy. It could be a matter of my life or death.

* * *

Itachi looked down at the book she placed on the kitchen table where Haiku usually sat. On it he saw a picture of Haiku and a bunch of strange writing. "Is this in your other language?"

"Yup. It's not _that_ hard to read."

"Hn…"

Kola started messing around. "This is the section about Haiku." Then what looked like a page with a screen appeared as she was flipping around. "This memory always makes me laugh." Kola said with a wide grin.

Itachi stared intently at the recorded memory.

* * *

"_Ameleta." One man said._

* * *

"Oh hey, that was one of our elders. That's another one!" Kola said pointing at Ameleta.

* * *

"_Yes, Niasko?" Ameleta looked over at him. "What is it?"_

"_That new girl, Haiku Uchiha…"_

"_What about her?"_

"_I think something might be wrong with her diet."_

"_Why do you say that?"_

"_When she's wandering around with Kola and she seems to get hungry all the sudden… She might suddenly attack someone walking by."_

"_She's probably not getting something in her diet that she's used to getting often." Ameleta replied._

_Ameleta freaked out when little Haiku who was no older than six jumped her from behind and latched to her long hair with the hair tie being near the ends._

_A little six year old Kola showed up, "Don't worry, that means she likes you." Kola smiled as Haiku devoured Ameleta's hair, only stopping to pull the hair tie out of her mouth._

Niasko looked at Ameleta and calmly replied, "Maybe she's not getting enough protein…"

* * *

Kola looked over at Itachi. "See? What do you think? Wasn't it hilarious?"

Itachi smirked.

"Haiku and I were so cute back then! What did you look like at our age?"

* * *

One of my hands was between the vine and my neck, trying to avoid suffocation while with my other hand; I desperately reached for the fan I had been stripped of. My weapon hoister had been carelessly emptied out by Nikku's chakra threads.

"Can't use your chakra now that I've blocked your chakra points? Now that's too bad." Nikku said in a voice that might be used to talk to an infant.

He had a hold of the other end of the vine and began dragging me along the ground, further away from my fans. Knowing I wouldn't be able to cut myself free, I used my free hand to join my other hand to prevent my suffocation.

"Where are you taking me?" I managed myself to say.

"Somewhere nearby. It's a very special place too."

I was suddenly pulled up off of the ground. My back then hit stone instead of the hard, compacted dirt I had been previously dragged on. Nikku got closer and closer to the edge of the cliff that led to the river.

That's when he stopped and got me tied down to this strangely smooth rock. He was standing against the sun and providing shade to my eyes so I wouldn't have to look directly into the sun.

Nikku kneeled next to me, making a small dagger from a vine. He cut open my pants leg over the right shin, just enough to reveal my birthmark. "Looks like the Uchiha Crest…" He then ripped my shirt open right above my heart. "And so you do have a birthmark like the Sotaki Crest. Interesting…" He got up.

I wondered to myself why he wanted to see my birthmarks, though I was thankful he didn't cut my bra open too. "What are you doing?"

"You never deserved to become one of us, no matter who your parents were or what abilities you had." Nikku said in an almost dream like state. His dagger was then turned into a spear.

I struggled against the vines that tied me to the stone, that merged out of and then back into the ground. Both my feet and arms were tied down.

"Where to stab you first?" Nikku was talking to himself. He thrust down into my ribs, breaking one and puncturing a lung.

I coughed up blood. The pain was horrible and he left the spear in my body. He used so much force; the tip of the spear was embedded a few inches into the tough stone.

He reached halfway down the shaft of the spear, cutting it at that spot with his chakra and turning that one into another spear. That one, he also broke more ribs and punctured my other lung.

I couldn't breathe. My chakra couldn't be used to prevent my lungs from being filled with blood.

Itachi…

My memories filled with both the good and the bad times with him flashed before my eyes. Why couldn't I tell him good bye? Why couldn't I tell him I wanted to live my life with him? Would he believe me? Or would he want to do the same thing? I should have escaped with them when I had the chance…

Nikku pulled out the second spear and kneeled beside Haiku. With his chakra, he cleared out the blood of her lung and healed the puncture. He had decided to end it in some other way.

I gasped, coughing up even more blood. I could somewhat breathe. What just happened?

Nikku didn't look too pleased with himself. "Don't look at me that way. I just decided on killing you a different way."

"Why?" I struggled to cough out.

He positioned the spear in front of my heart after he stood back up. "I wanted to do a little experiment instead… When someone is in love with another, they say their heart now belongs to that person. Is it your heart in your chest or is it Itachi's? I saw the way he looks at you. He's already given you his heart just as you have given yours. If I stop it, will I be stopping yours or his?"

Nikku took what took like hours before continuing on. "Is it really possible for me to break your heart when it's not at my mercy, but his?" He used the tip of the spear to move aside the jagged edge of my shirt. He then touched it at the exact center of the Sotaki Crest. "We'll just have to see."

My eyes widened as he forced the spear through my heart. I could feel my heart stopping. It couldn't work with the gash and the spear tip in it.

So this was what it was like to die…

I suddenly imagined myself with Itachi while we were both older. Were we married? Were those children ours? Oh Itachi, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you of my feelings I have for you.

Itachi…

If this is how I'm going to die…

If we are to never see each other ever again…

Don't mourn my death…

Celebrate the memories we shared…

Cherish the good and bad times…

Carry on with life…

And live it to its fullest…

Don't let me stop you from having your own family…

Make her happy…

Because she will know she is lucky to have someone like you…

The last words muttered out of my mouth… "Itachi…"

Nikku looked down at Haiku. The light was fading from her eyes. The vines that tied her down disappeared. "You know where we are? You've been killed under the watchful eyes of your pathetic father." With that, Nikku tossed her limp body into the river between the Hashirama and Madara Statues in the Final Valley. As he watched her fall into the river below, he declared as loud as he could, "Now your father will once again watch helplessly as you are swept away!"

* * *

**Author's Note: How sweet, Haiku did everything she could to make sure Itachi was safe and away from Nikku. I feel bad for killing her off… In fact, I was beginning to cry when I wrote about her last thoughts. What do you think is going to happen now? Or do you think that should be the end of the story? Not knowing what everyone else does as a result of her death… Poor Itachi, as soon as he finds out, he's going to fall to pieces. T_T**


	31. Chapter 31: The Messenger

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

**Haiku & Kola 2:**

**Relationship Problems**

**Chapter 31: The Messenger

* * *

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**Author's Note: Sorry for taking so long to update. I usually update at school since it started up again, but unfortunately, they won't let us on the computers there unless we have homework. So I'm sorry, but I may not be able to update on a steady time frame like I used to. I will update when I can, so please don't think I'm ditching the story. As always, I'm open to answer questions about the story you may have. And once again, if you'd like to read more about Muki and Madara when they first met, read Wicked Hearts by Googala2. ^^  
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* * *

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Haiku's second-in-command snapped awake. 'What is it?'

'Don't you even remember me?'

'Yes I do. What's going on?'

'I have a message I was assigned to carry out after the events that did indeed occur.'

'What is that?'

'I bear a message from Haiku.'

'Go on.'

'She had me watch the fight and wanted me to send this message:' The crane paused to clear her throat and recite in Haiku's voice, 'If you are listening to this… Then that means I have indeed lost not only the battle, but my life. I know this match has barely even begun, but I know fighting Nikku would be sacrificing myself. This was a decision that had to be made. I don't know if I'm immortal or not… I'm afraid… If it turned out that I wasn't immortal, I want my army and my second-in-command to work under Itachi and protect him at all costs. If Kola or Zetsu get sick with the same sickness that killed off the Terra Clan, I have the cure in my room in the tree. It's in the bag I brought with me from the Uchiha Clan in the drawer filled with paper cranes. Please tell Mom, Dad, Kola, Zetsu and most of all, Itachi that I am sorry and I love them all. I now regret not ever telling Itachi the true extent of my affection towards him. If I have indeed died and am not immortal… who knows… I might get to meet Izuna for the first time.'

If the second-in-command could cry, he would right now. He'd cry a river that would only grow into a small ocean.

'You still there?'

'…Yes…'

'Everything is going to be ok. She wanted me to send this after I saw her get killed. There's still a chance she's immortal.'

'Where are you?'

'Final Valley. That's where she was killed. Right on top of the statue of her father and tossed into the river that led to a waterfall. Nikku was yelling something about her father watching her being swept away once again.'

'When did she give you this message?'

'When she froze time. She was extremely nervous and needed something to occupy herself with.'

'She knew all along?'

'Yes.'

'Did she plan her death?'

'How could you ask such a thing?'

'Just making sure.'

'Who is this… Itachi that she spoke of?'

'Her boyfriend.'

'You going to tell them the message?'

'I have no choice.'

'When are you telling them?'

'Dinner time.'

* * *

Madara sat depressed on the couch. Or at least he was there until he decided on sitting in his emo corner.

Muki came in, once again cursing that snake and this time it was something along the lines of, 'and look what he did to me!'

Madara just sat there, not even acknowledging her very presence. In fact, he felt like he wanted to just curl up into a little ball and die in his corner, but that wasn't very possible being immortal and all.

"Madara-kun, what are you doing?"

Madara glanced over at her. He was so depressed that he didn't feel any rage over what she wore. (She was wearing what Sasuke would come to wear when he stayed with Orochimaru for a while, except the fact that she had found bandages that she wrapped around her chest. Unfortunately, it was a bit too big for her and the pants kept sliding down.)

"I don't understand why he'd want to wear something with this ridiculous bow. It doesn't even keep my pants up!"

"…"

"What are you so depressed about?"

"…"

Muki entered the bathroom. "Damn that snake!" She cursed once again. "He made me gain weight, my ankles are so sore, and I still can't believe how much longer his is than yours."

Madara feared the worse. His wife was carrying the child of Orochimaru. He should have killed him when he had the chance…

She came back out, wearing her normal clothes. Muki had thrown away the clothes she had previously worn. "That's much better!" She sat on the couch at the end closest to where Madara sat. "What's on your mind?"

"What did he do to you?" Madara was almost in tears.

"That's it? That's all you're worked up about?" Muki waited for a response, but when she didn't get one, she continued on with the explanation. "I hit my feet and legs on his furniture so many times, I have bruises up and down my legs."

"I saw you kissing him."

"Huh? I never kissed him. I did look over his shoulder to get a better look at his papers. Every time I was around him, I was invisible, though I did wander around while visible."

"You were sticky, red bumps all around your neck and shoulders, even your clothes were ripped."

"You think I slept with that snake?" Muki looked disgusted. "I left to take a walk shortly before finding you and lost my footing. I fell down a hill into a bunch of bushes covered in thorns. Then I disturbed a bee's nest, getting honey all over me. Not to mention the bee attack."

Madara knew there was something wrong with those red welts she had…

"And then there was his men that kept calling me his whore, but at least they told me were he went… My feet are so sore!" Muki complained. "The walk here was longer than I thought. I was hungry and so I was snooping around his kitchen. That's when I found the ice cream… Madara, it was the best tasting ice cream I have ever eaten in my life. Because of that, I gained weight… I really got to get rid of that."

"You kept saying something about his being longer than me."

"Well I'd hope your tongue wasn't longer than his!" Muki looked at him. "Did you think I was talking about your-"

"Yes."

Muki reached over and started patting him on the head. "You know I wouldn't sleep with that snake."

The patting of Madara's head only grew into something else. This time, Madara made sure the door was shut and locked.

* * *

Haiku's old second-in-command made sure he had the attention of the entire organization before repeating the exact words in Haiku's voice. Just how his close friend told him. The messenger.

* * *

The entire Akatsuki sat there, silent, not knowing what to say after hearing the messenger's message straight from Haiku. There were those who started to cry. Those included Kola, Zetsu, Muki, Madara/Tobi and most of all Itachi, who was currently staring down a large knife that was sitting on the table. He was all too tempted to use it. Others like Pein and Konan who were surprised to hear of her death while Hidan thought she disserved to die and good riddance.

Kisame looked over at his partner. Though he didn't cry, it didn't mean he didn't grieve. He was more concerned about Itachi and whether he'd be safe around anything that could be used to kill himself. "Itachi." Kisame whispered, "It's ok to cry."

Itachi had his head at an angle so it made it nearly impossible to see his face. Only the now steady drip of tears onto his still empty plate made it clear he was crying. "Why?" Itachi's voice grew shaky, "Why'd she die?"

Kola, who was being held by Zetsu, was taking it just as hard as Itachi. "Why Zetsu? I was supposed to be the one to die. Why is she the one? Was this payment for saving my life? She was perfectly healthy!" Kola sobbed into the front of Zetsu's Akatsuki Cloak.

"Things happen. **You have to understand this, Kola. **You got to be strong." Zetsu's black hand wiped away the tears that were beginning to roll down his cheeks. He had to stay strong for Kola.

The Akatsuki hadn't even touched dinner. The food was sitting there, waiting to be touched, but no one dared. Tobi, the funny, if not annoying at times to some people like Deidara, was resting his face in his empty plate. His tears ran out of his eyehole and was forming a pool.

Muki, who was still invisible, picked up her plate and threw it on the white tiled floor. She folded up her arms and rested her head on them. Once there, she sobbed and sobbed. Her only daughter was dead.

"How'd she die, un?" Deidara asked the crane.

"She was killed in combat."

"By who?" Sonya asked.

"His name is Nikku. He is apparently with Orochimaru now."

Zetsu was surprised Kola didn't hear the name. Nikku was responsible for a great number of deaths. He was now the only one in Kola's childhood that still lived from their clan. There had to be a way to get rid of Nikku. Nikku Terra, the traitor to the clan from legend.

"Where?" Konan asked.

"Final Valley. She died on Madara's statue head."

"Is her body still there?" Pein questioned.

"No. He tossed her body into the river, saying something about Madara once again having to watch his only child being swept away by water and there was nothing he could do to save her."

"I see." Pein replied.

* * *

Kola opened up The Book. There must have been some kind of misunderstanding, a mistake somewhere. There was no way her sister could have bee killed. With red, puffy eyes, she scanned down the list of the clan members, finding Haiku's name written in red.

Kola desperately flipped to the section about Haiku. There she found a picture of Haiku's body, still floating on the currents. Kola only stared at the picture of where she currently was at, motionless. It wasn't until Zetsu closed The Book and put it away did she avert her eyes from the picture. But only now, she was staring at where the picture was.

* * *

There was a knock at the door. Itachi looked up from the kunai he had been staring at. He held it in his shaky hands.

Kisame's eyes widened. "Itachi, don't."

"What's the point of living if I can't live it with her?"

"Itachi, I know you're upset, I am too, but you can't go and commit suicide. Remember, there's a chance she's immortal and will make her way back here. It will take time."

"She's gone… She's gone…"

Kisame had to strip the kunai from his partner. While he was at it, he took away all of the other weapons Itachi could use to kill himself. "She doesn't want you to die."

Her second-in-command flapped its paper wings in order to stretch out. "You do know she sacrificed herself so that the two of you could live."

Itachi looked into Kisame's eyes. "She sacrificed herself so that I could continue living?"

Kisame was getting worried. This was the first time he had** ever** seen his partner like this. When he had seen Itachi's eyes, he had thought Itachi's sharingan was activated, but now that Itachi was looking directly into his did he realize that Itachi didn't have his sharingan activated. His eyes had gotten red and puffy from all of the crying. Itachi hadn't even touched dinner, only went straight to his room. Kisame had just gotten back from eating dinner.

"Itachi, you need to calm down."

"Haiku… My precious Haiku…"

Kisame knew right then and there, Itachi had completely lost it. Someone needed to watch over Itachi and make sure he didn't try anything. Kisame sat on the couch and watched Itachi who was huddled up in the middle of the bed.

"I didn't tell her. I didn't tell her how I felt. I was afraid to confess." Itachi continued mumbling to himself, "I just wanted to wait until I got the 'ok' from her parents. I was prepared to marry her. I wanted to spend my life with her."

Kisame knew Itachi was talking about some very personal things, but he was beginning to doubt Itachi even remembered he was in here. Itachi was currently mentally unstable. He didn't want to listen in on Itachi's confessions, but someone other than the crane that somehow was making matters worse to keep an eye on him.

"She died a virgin. Nikku better of not have raped her. I wanted to be the father of her children. I wanted to know what she felt like underneath me. I wanted to hear those sounds from her lips. I can't eat any dangos without her. She loved eating them with me. She loved to snuggle with me at night. It meant not only did she fall out of bed and sleep walk into the kitchen, but also it meant she was warm and fell asleep happy. I should have had more time with her. It wasn't her time to go. Why didn't I die with her? Why did we just leave her there? She might have had a chance if we stayed."

Kisame learned a lot of things from Itachi just now. Not only was Haiku a virgin and Itachi never took advantage of her, but also he really did love her. He wanted to marry her? Itachi was also guilt tripping himself to the extreme. There was no way he could leave Itachi alone. Not like this.

* * *

Sonya mournfully grabbed her things. She couldn't stay here without telling the hokage that Haiku was killed. Maybe she could convince him to let her come back. But first things were first, she had to go back without first getting into trouble if Pein found out.

Deidara leaned against the doorframe. "What are you doing, un?"

"I got to go back." Sonya sadly replied.

"Why?"

"I have to inform the hokage of her death."

"Are you telling him about us?"

"You and me or the Akatsuki?"

"Both, un."

"Neither. I only tell him what I have to."

"You're a spy then."

"Supposed to be. Doesn't mean I've been doing my job…"

Deidara chuckled, "You coming back?"

"I'll try."

"You better, un."

* * *

It took a bit longer for Magma to get the food they needed that would last at least a month. As he neared the Den, he knew something had happened. The snowy ground had the dead, frozen bodies of large snakes littered across it. More of them were around his den. Frost most likely had been involved seeing how the snakes were frozen solid. It made him worry about her, but she was a strong dragon and it wouldn't be very easy to take her down.

He spotted a three-headed snake at the entrance, two of its heads cut cleanly off. "Frost? Frost, where are you?" Magma quickly searched through each room. "Frost!" There was no sign of either Frost or their egg.

Magma sunk to the floor, legs sprawled out and his head resting on his left arm. 'What happened and where is she?'

"Dad, what happened? Where's Mom?" Diamond peered into his room.

"She's gone."

Diamond peered back, "There you are!"

Magma lifted his head, hoping with all his heart it was Frost she found. But he sunk back into a depressive state. It was his son, not his mate.

"Why do you look so depressed?" Diamond asked both her brother and her father.

Flame looked at her, "It's Haiku. I think she's dead."

"Dead? Haiku? No, that's impossible."

"I was sent back here a while back, but when I saw the dead snakes, I decided on trying to see where they went. It was no use. Their tracks disappeared." Flame looked concerned. "They were dragging someone."

"How could you let Haiku die?" Diamond scolded.

"I was doing what she told me. She wanted me to bring Itachi and Kisame back to the Akatsuki Base. When I headed back, I was suddenly brought back here."

"What happened? Was she fighting someone?"

"Yes. His name was Nikku. She really wanted to make sure Itachi was safe. I had to do what she told me." Flame dropped to the ground. "I'm worried, I don't know what's going on."

"Mom's gone too. Dad's depressed just like you." Diamond watched them, "Are you sure the tracks disappeared?"

"They just vanished. I'd be tempted to say it was as if they were teleported, but very few can do such things. Orochimaru's snakes sure can't."

"Can't you teleport when Haiku's with you?" Diamond questioned.

"Yes, but only when Haiku makes the portal."

"Can Nikku do that too?"

Flame suddenly got up, "He's from Kola's clan. He most likely can."

"What would he want with Mom?" Diamond asked.

"If he's behind this, he wanted our sibling too."

* * *

Kakashi watched the river flow by while his students were messing around, seeing who could climb higher with only their chakra. It was a silly competition, that's for sure, but they had only stopped for a short break before heading back to the Leaf Village.

Kakashi thought back on how they had buried Zabuza and Haku. He glanced back at the three genin still messing around. It was like babysitting, but at least he didn't have to worry too much about their safety at this point.

He pulled out his book and started getting into the book again when something caught his eye. Kakashi put the book away and got a good look at what he had seen floating by.

Haiku.

Kakashi jumped up, he hadn't realized his foot had fallen asleep, so he just about fell flat on his face.

"Kakashi-sensei? What is it?" Sakura had noticed what he just did.

Sasuke looked over at the direction Kakashi was headed, "It's a body."

"I think I know that person. Believe it."

Kakashi's feet neatly landed on the surface of the water. He reached down and pulled her out.

The three genin crowded around Haiku. Kakashi checked her pulse. "Is she dead?" Naruto asked.

"Why should it matter? She's a rouge ninja now." Sasuke pointed out.

"Haven't you heard? She's apart of your clan." Sakura informed.

"That's just a bunch of rumors." Sasuke replied.

"Kakashi-sensei, what are you going to do?" Naruto asked.

"She's dead and has been for a while." Kakashi thought to himself, 'Strange, she's been drifting on the current for sometime now, but she doesn't look like it… In fact, if it wasn't the fact that she wasn't breathing, had no heartbeat and was cold, then I wouldn't have realized she was dead. She looks more like she's sleeping…'

"What's wrong, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura questioned.

"She just doesn't look dead…"

"You going to bury her?" Naruto asked.

"Something's not right. We should bring her back to the village."

Naruto poked her, "How'd she die?"

"By the looks of it, she has very little chakra left in her system and there are multiple puncture wounds." 'She was a great woman. I can't believe she's dead.'

"Ew, I'm not carrying her. She's dead!" Sakura looked disgusted.

Naruto looked entranced by the Sotaki Crest on Haiku's chest.

Sakura smacked Naruto upside the head, "Stop being such a pervert!"

"Ow, but Sakura, what is that? I think I've seen something like it before." Naruto pointed at the mark.

"It's a birthmark you idiot!" Sakura scolded.

"It's the Sotaki Crest." Sasuke replied with the bored look on his face. He pointed at the birthmark on her leg. "And that's the Uchiha Crest."

"She's a mix of the two?" Sakura asked. "I don't think I've heard of the Sotaki before."

"That's because the Sotaki merged together with the Uchiha long before the village was created." Kakashi answered. "She's obviously the missing Haiku Uchiha."

Naruto looked up at Kakashi with wonder. "But I thought that was just a rumor."

"No. She was going as just Haiku. Her and her sister, Kola, said only something about their clan being dead and they had nothing better to do." Kakashi stated. "Kola's clan must have adopted her." Kakashi picked Haiku up. "Ready?"

* * *

**Author's Note: For me, it seems like this was a very long chapter. In actuality, it's about the same size as the other chapters. What do you think about what's happened so far? Itachi sure is out of his mind. Do you agree with Kisame when he said Itachi was mentally unstable? Poor guy, he lost her and then is having a major guilt trip. Kisame doesn't even feel as if he can leave Itachi alone because he fears Itachi will commit suicide. T_T And then there's Kola… She's also very upset. She's the one who was able to survive the sickness that made her deformed and now she thinks that in exchange, Haiku's dead. It seems like everyone who cares for her are now becoming mentally unstable. Guess that's what happens when the person is deeply cared about. I still can't see who's taken this worse. Who do you think? What is your prediction about what will happen in the future chapters?**


	32. Chapter 32: Good News

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

**Haiku & Kola 2:**

**Relationship Problems**

**Chapter 32: Good News

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**Author's Note: Yay, I could update again! Thanks for the many reviews. ^^ If there are any questions, I'll always do my best to answer them without giving too much away. I really appreciate all of the support I've been given for my stories even though the characters aren't in character... It really means a lot to me. 3  
**

**xxyangxx2006 : No, just because he ate the apple doesn't mean he can catch what killed the clan off. Those who could get it were those who have the Terra bloodline. Yeah, it wasn't a spoiler for me since I've read/watched the series here and there and I know quite a bit about the show. It helps when you have friends who also know a lot about it too. ^_^ I haven't planned that far ahead yet. It'd be in the third Haiku & Kola fic when Sasuke and Itachi have their fight. *hint hint***

**Luxord's Xigbar : ...Maybe... You'll have to read to find out.  
**

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* * *

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The medical nin looked up from the paperwork he was doing. "Kakashi, what's going on?"

Kakashi took Haiku's limp body off of his shoulder, "Haiku."

The medical nin put his paperwork away and took Haiku. "She's dead."

"I know, but there's something strange going on."

"How long has she been dead?"

"I've had her for at least two days now. She was dead before even that."

"She doesn't look like it." The medical nin narrowed his eyes, "Her heart started back up."

"What?"

"It's slow, but there." The medical nin ran to the Emergency Room.

Kakashi sighed and pulled out his book. He had some catching up to do.

* * *

The medical ninja crowded around the operating table. They noticed something slowly being pushed out of her chest. The first nin that was talking to Kakashi carefully grabbed it and pulled it out, being careful since this weapon had been lodged inside her heart.

The female nin pulled out one that had been in her lung. The three medical ninja worked on healing Haiku's wounds and cleaning anything that might become infected.

* * *

Kakashi was sitting at her bedside reading his book when a female medical nin came in. "Hello Kakashi. I'm one of the ninja that worked on her earlier."

"Hi." Kakashi put away his book. "So what's the story?"

"Apparently some kind of plant-like material was lodged in her heart and lung. Her other lung had been sloppily healed, so we had to redo the healing. It doesn't seem like it was Haiku's healing job since she's a whole lot more… precise in her work."

"What kind of material was it?"

"We have no idea. It was as hard if not harder than a kunai, but it was a plant… Both seemed to have been longer, but they had been shortened down somehow so that they didn't poke out of her chest."

"I see."

"Other than that, her chakra levels are very low and it's a surprise she was able to come back to life. How long has it been since she's been moved into this room? I've had so much work I've had to do lately, I forgot."

"Three days."

"When her chakra levels are higher, she should wake up. If it wasn't for the Hokage, she'd already be moved into a higher security area."

"She was a very trustworthy and dependable ninja just like her sister."

"That's why it's so surprising her headband has been slashed." The medical nin put back the charts of Haiku's chakra levels, "When she's awake, she's going to be moved for questioning. Danzo's orders."

* * *

Itachi looked outside the little house that was currently the Akatsuki Base. The barren wasteland was annoying and he couldn't see how in the world Haiku would be able to find them if she was immortal…

His eyes watered up again.

What was the point of living if the one he loved was dead? He wondered why it was that he didn't take his own life that way he'd be with Haiku once again.

Kisame shifted just the slightest bit. "Itachi."

'That's why. He's been keeping such a close watch on me and has been keeping anything that I could use to end it all. All of the suffering, pain, misery and guilt. It would also mean _**that crane**_ would leave me alone and stop making me feel worse.'

* * *

Zetsu was surprised Kola was moving around and exploring this part of the desert they now lived in. She was currently munching away on a banana from her Life Tree.

"Zetsu, why is that town so poor?"

"Things happen." Zetsu replied.

"Oh."

Zetsu missed the fun loving Kola. The one who enjoyed every day and lived it to its fullest simply because that exact day of that exact month of that exact year wouldn't come again. Once it was gone, that was that. Zetsu imagined Kola smiling as she once told him that when they were younger.

* * *

I jolted awake. While I was in this sitting position in a bed at the hospital, I looked right into the eyes of none other than Naruto Uzumaki.

* * *

"What the? Where are we?" Naruto looked around all confused.

I too looked around. My eyes caught sight of where the Nine-tailed Fox was locked up. "We are inside of you. Where Fido has been locked up."

"Fido?"

The Nine-tailed Fox met the eyes of Naruto. "So we met at last."

"Fido's been a very bad boy." I crossed my arms.

Fido's gaze snapped over to me, "IT'S THE BRAT THING!"

"Wow, you recognized me."

"You're the reason why I'm here in the first place." Fido growled from behind the bars.

"Now Fido, we all know that's not true."

"If you didn't attack me that night, then I wouldn't have been sealed up inside of _him_ by the Fourth Hokage."

"It was your fault. Not only were you a bad boy that was going to attack a bunch of somewhat, maybe just a slight percentage of innocent people, but you also wouldn't tell me where Mom and Dad went."

"Brat Thing."

"Yes Fido?"

"Why did you protect them by stopping me. You know what kind of miseries they have done to you and your parents."

I clenched my fist. "I would have let you do as you wished if you just told me one little piece of information."

"Does the Leaf Village now mean so little to you?"

"Naruto."

"Wha?" Naruto had been trying too hard to try and understand everything he had just heard.

"We're leaving." I said.

"Come on Brat Thing. Can't face the truth? You'd rather betray the Leaf Village for what?" Fido growled.

"Fido, it's none of your business." I growled back.

"Why so defensive? Is it someone you love?"

I closed my eyes and said in almost a whisper. "…Itachi…"

* * *

Naruto's eyes widened, "Did that really just happen? Did we just see the Nine-tailed Fox? Why'd you call him Fido?"

I slowly blinked a few times, "He was our… 'pet'. Mom liked the name of Fido to call him and so Dad decided his new name would be that in order to please her."

"Brat Thing?"

"That's what he used to call me when I was little."

Several ANBU came in. The Captain of the ANBU spoke up, "Haiku Uchiha, if you'll come with us."

I narrowed my eyes at him. I growled, "What do you want?" I got up, feeling to see if I had any weapons, but of course, I had forgotten Nikku got rid of mine and were most likely in the area in which we fought.

"Come with us peacefully or else we will have to use force."

I checked my chakra levels, not very high… "I need to do something else, so if you don't mind."

"You're coming with us now."

"Come on, at least let me get a good look out the window. I've been feeling as if I am going to puke if I don't get a little bit of fresh air first."

The ANBU were a bit unsure if I was going to make an escape or what. From being in the ANBU for some time now, they knew I held my word.

I opened it up, leaning outside. I took a deep breath of fresh air, "It seems like a nice spring day."

The ANBU all charged after me when I made a slip out the window. They were about to split up and search for me, until the captain looked on the roof.

He saw me sitting above the window with my legs dangling off of the roof. I was barefoot. "Looking for me? Did you really think I'd just run off?"

The ANBU looked a bit uncomfortable. They really did think I'd just run away which in fact, I was planning on how to do so.

'Itachi? Itachi, where are you?' I looked through the eyes of the crane I had given him. It was stuck in a drawer with his shirts. It wasn't accidental either. I temporarily heightened its hearing, the place was empty… 'Itachi…'

A tear ran down my cheek when I was no longer looking through the crane's eyes. What happened? Was he ok? Another tear ran down my other cheek. What the hell is going on and is he trying to avoid me? Was I now a nobody?

I huddled up and cried on the rooftop. Tears continued to fall until the captain put his hand on my shoulder. "It's time to go."

I got up, wiping my tears on my sleeve and followed them without question or attempts at escaping. My heart felt dead in my chest.

* * *

Dichiri followed her twin down the hallway. Once again, Suggie was eating some waffles she had made appear. "Still hungry?"

"I know you are too." Suggie had a smug grin, "Waffle?"

"I'll pass."

Suggie entered the room to the right. The room on the left was the room Sonya Nara used, but she was doing some other kind of work.

Locked up on the chair was a woman who looked like a mess. She had apparently been crying for some time now.

Suggie looked down at her notebook, "Haiku Uchiha? Is that you?"

"Yes."

Suggie took a tissue and wiped away the tears on her face. "What happened?"

Dichiri looked bored, "You're being too nice again."

"But she's upset." Suggie replied.

"You're too nice for this job. You do know that right?"

"Keep track of her pulse." Suggie told Dichiri.

"I know, I know." Dichiri pulled a chair next to the one Haiku was in.

"Name?"

"Suggie." Haiku answered.

"That's my name."

"I know. You weren't specific."

"Waffle?" Suggie showed her some waffles she made appear.

"No."

"You're name?"

"Haiku Uchiha."

"I got her pulse. She's telling the truth." Dichiri continued keeping track of her pulse.

"Why did you leave the village?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"The one I love."

"Aw… How sweet." Suggie smiled, "Were the two of you in love?"

"Yes."

"You left so you could be with him?"

"Yes."

"Tell me what you know about the Akatsuki."

"It happens once a day."

"The organization, not the sunrise."

"Which one?"

"The one you were supposedly captured and forced into."

"Ah. That one."

"So tell me, are you still in it?"

"Not physically or mentally at the present."

"…"

"Don't you just love these questions?" Haiku's smile turned into a stoic facial expression.

"You willingly betrayed your village and clan."

"In which ways did I betray my clan?"

"You left the village, so you would be betraying the survivors of your clan too."

"They betrayed my parents and I first."

"What about Sasuke?"

"What about him?"

"He's apart of your clan. How could you just leave him?"

"He never depended on me in the first place."

"I heard you know Itachi Uchiha."

"Yeah."

"What do you know about him?"

"He's in my clan."

"Anything else that isn't common knowledge?"

"If you want to know common knowledge, I still have a few more."

"What do you know about him that I wouldn't?"

"You don't know him, so that could be a lot of things."

"…"

"…"

"Why are you being so difficult?"

"I'm just answering the questions."

"Who is it that you loved so much?"

"Take a wild guess."

"I don't know."

"Then I don't know either."

Dichiri twitched, "Suggie, she's somehow keeping her heart rate steady. How am I supposed to know if she's lying if she can keep her body in check?"

Suggie sighed, "What are you doing back?"

"I don't know. I just showed up here in the hospital."

"What were you doing before that?"

"Fighting someone who threatened the lives of my teammates."

"The Akatsuki right?"

"Sunrise? No. Sunset."

"Did you die?"

"Yes."

"Then why are you here?"

"Guess."

"Immortality?"

"Yeah. I didn't know."

"Why were you so willing to put your life on the line?"

"Wouldn't you if the lives of the people of this village were in danger?"

"Yes."

"There you go."

"Why are you being so stubborn?"

"I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"Then why am I talking?"

Suggie summoned a smaller fox demon, "Tell me what you know or my little doggie will attack."

"Do you remember who my father is?"

"…No…"

"Madara Uchiha." Haiku answered. "Do you know what he could do with the Nine-tailed Fox?"

"I've heard rumors."

"I grew up around the Nine-tailed Fox. Do you really think I'm afraid of this weakling compared to Fido?"

The fox demon disappeared. "You hurt its feelings."

"Next option?"

"Hungry?"

"No."

"Thirsty?"

"No."

Dichiri pulled out a spray bottle. She turned the nozzle so that it would slowly drip.

"Do you feel like you have to use the bathroom?"

Haiku absent mindedly stared at the drops. "Not really."

"If you wet your pants, I'm afraid I'm going to have to kill you."

"I'm apparently immortal."

Suggie twitched. "Well now what?"

Dichiri put away the spray bottle. "If you sleep, you're never going to wake up."

"I've already had plenty of sleep. Thank you though."

"Um…" Suggie looked around, "If you don't tell us, I'll cut you with my katana until you do."

Haiku frowned.

Suggie got up and pulled out her red katana. She took it out of its sheath and let it cut Haiku's back just the slightest bit.

Haiku cringed just the slightest bit, "Reinforced by the chakra of Fido. Nice edge to it."

"Why thank you."

"Aren't you Naruto's older sister?"

Suggie ran her hand through her hair. "Yes."

Haiku took a good look at her hair. The roots were red and then they gradually turned blonde when they got closer to the ends.

"So you got chakra from Fido that was locked away in your little brother. Wouldn't that be painful for him?"

"It wasn't. We'd never hurt our little fuzzy."

* * *

Zetsu walked outside to see that as far as the horizon, was a giant banana plantation. "KOLA!"

Kola appeared next to him. "Yes Zetsu?"

"**Why did you just give away our new hideout?**"

"I just planted banana seeds and they grew into big trees overnight. See? The bananas taste good and they are everywhere."

Zetsu remembered that when the seeds on a fruit produced by a Life Tree where planted, the next day, a plant that would originally grow that kind of fruit would grow and produce great tasting fruit. "We're going to have to move again."

"Good. I don't like it here in the desert."

"**How are is it going to be explained for a giant banana plantation popping up overnight and in the middle of the desert?**"

"Oasis." Kola ran to the town living in poverty and talked to the one in charge. "This plantation is my gift to the town." Kola motioned towards the banana trees. "Split the work and money equally or else it will disappear forever."

The mayor furiously nodded his head.

Kola headed back to the hideout with Zetsu knowing the last part was a lie, but at least the mayor would be scared into thinking it was true.

"That was nice of you."

"I planned it all along."

"**Whatever you say Kola.**"

* * *

Itachi woke up from his dreamless sleep while back at the old base since they had to get rid of the old one. Pein had thought it was safe to come back to the better one. He turned over again and noticed the second-in-command sitting on the pillow Haiku used. "Wake up already!"

"Hn?"

"I need you to get Kola and her book."

"What for?"

"It's Haiku."

Itachi felt the depression returning. It had temporarily left him while he had slept.

"I think she's alive."

Itachi's eyes widened. "Where is she?"

"Get Kola to look it up in her book."

Itachi slammed the door behind him just as the crane had finished up his sentence. 'Damn Uchiha ditching me like that…'

* * *

Itachi looked down at The Book while Kola was flipping to the right page. He could hardly sit still.

Kola blinked a few times. "ZETSU, SHE'S ALIVE!"

"Where is she?" Itachi asked.

"One of the interrogation rooms at the Leaf Village."

"Which one?"

"The one across from Sonya's interrogation room."

"Thank you Kola." Just like that, Itachi was already on his way there. Sure he had just woken up, but he went back to grab his stuff he needed as fast as he could and charged out of the base.

* * *

I opened my eyes, letting them adjust to the darkness of the room. They had just left me here while they went back home to get some sleep.

"Itachi, do you still love me?" I whispered into the darkness.

The security camera had been turned off shortly after Suggie and Dichiri left. They were sure there would be no way I could escape on my own and the chances of anyone getting in here to get me out was low.

A flicker of light appeared in the center of the room. The figure now outlined in a rainbow colored blurred light.

Pein.

"So it's true what they said after all."

"…"

"Don't worry, help will be coming shortly."

"Who?"

"Your sister and Itachi who has been running nonstop to get to you as fast as he can."

I managed a small smile.

Footsteps signaled someone coming this way. Pein flickered away as suddenly as he had shown up. The ANBU walked in, checked the bonds keeping me there and then left. He was apparently checking on the other rooms.

* * *

Itachi ran into Kola who was sitting in a tree. "There you are!"

Itachi finally stopped.

"Bet you haven't even thought about how to get to her have you?"

"Hn."

"That's what I thought." Kola smiled, "You can wear this. You'll fit right in!"

Itachi looked at the ANBU uniform she handed him. "Ok." Itachi was going to change into it at a different location, but he stopped in his tracks. "This is Haiku's isn't it."

"So? Everyone will think you both are the same person. Sasuke always gets her confused anyway!"

"Not everyone will believe it."

"They won't pay attention to it."

"It's Haiku's. Of course they will notice."

Kola's grin grew wider, "Not everyone knows she's locked up."

"Fine. I'll do it."

"Good! I'll serve as a distraction!" Kola ran off.

"What are you doing?" Itachi called after her.

"You'll see munch much!"

* * *

Kola walked into the Leaf Village. She didn't feel like she really owed the village anything. If at all, the Village owed her for her services! She decided to stop near the entrance to the village so that way there would be plenty of room. She noticed Jiraya in the distance, but she didn't pay much attention to him.

"Summoning Jutsu!"

* * *

Itachi was able to sneak past everyone due to the commotion and mad rush of all the ninja to get rid of the summoning creature Kola had. He looked back to see what in the world it was. Itachi twitched.

A T-Rex.

* * *

Jiraya was the only one who dared to cross her and her T-Rex. He responded by summoning a medium sized toad. He couldn't summon the Chief Toad since: One, it would be too big. Two, it was the village and the village would fall apart.

"Rexy! CHARGE!"

The T-Rex charged into the crowd while Kola stood back with a wide grin on her face.

The T-Rex asked in the Terra Clan's native language, "Which one? The toad or the old man?"

Kola replied in the regular speech. The T-Rex could understand what she said either way, but could only speak one and that was her clan's ancient, native language. "Either one."

The T-Rex went after Jiraya since he thought the ninja would be an easier target. When trying to chomp his head off, the T-Rex got off balance and fell forward. "I can't get him. I have a big head and little arms."

Kola jumped on his tail, forcing his body to become straightened again. She then climbed to his head. "Don't worry. You get to do whatever you want to do today."

The T-Rex ripped through the flesh of the toad, making it vanish back to the summoning realm. To distract even more of the crowd of ninja, she performed a jutsu bringing her cannibalistic plants to the village. She'd make sure no one was eaten, but it would still be funny to watch.

* * *

**Author's Note: KOLA'S ON THE LOOSE! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, SHE'S GOT A PRE-HISTORIC CREATURE! To be completely honest, I felt horrible for killing Haiku and then making Itachi become so depressed. Not to mention everyone else who cared about her being in a messed up state of mind.**

**The reason Dichiri wasn't able to check if she was lying or not was because Haiku was making her heart beat at a steady rate the whole time. So if she wanted, she could lie up a storm and her heart wouldn't give away anything. Making herself go stoic during the interrogation made it even harder to tell if it was the truth or lies she was saying.**

**You're also probably wondering how in the world Kola got a T-Rex and that's because the place her clan lives is a huge one. One of the areas happened to be very rich in complete fossils. By digging one up, a skilled clan member could essentially bring it back to life. Doing that is the only time they are allowed to bring something back to life and even then it is to celebrate becoming a skilled Terra Clan member who has become great in healing. Not all members wanted something such as that though. After bringing the chosen one back to life, they teleport it into a special place inside the summoning realm and perform the blood seals necessary so that they can summon it. That's also why Kola was able to make Haiku summon Itachi instead of any of her dragons.**

**I'm really sorry I talk a lot, but I thought you might want a good explanation of the harder to understand parts or just the parts that it would be nice to know more about. Please let me know if there is something that you'd like me to let you know more about. Please review. ^_^**


	33. Chapter 33: True Intentions

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

**Haiku & Kola 2:**

** Relationship Problems**

**Chapter 33: True Intentions

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**Author's Note: Yay, I was able to update! ^_^ I'm glad to see everyone really liked Kola's T-Rex. =D  
**

**blaze : Yeah, I believe Tsunade's Hokage know, but then again, it completely slipped my mind... oops.  
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I silently watched as another ANBU came in. I could see this person was overjoyed to see me. My heart leapt for joy.

Itachi.

The second thought that came through my mind: "Why are you wearing my uniform?"

"Kola told me to."

When the bonds were released, I jumped out of my spot into his arms. "Itachi, I'm so sorry! I love you!"

* * *

Itachi watched as Haiku took of the mask he had been wearing and put it away for him. Itachi felt like he was about to smile.

Itachi tensed up when Haiku pulled him into a kiss and continued to kiss him repeatedly. It was just strange for her to show such affection to him. He pulled her close and slipped his tongue into her mouth.

One hand snaked around to her back, but he was shocked to feel a sticky substance on her shirt. He pulled back from the kiss and turned her around. "Who did this to you?"

Haiku turned back to him and looked into his eyes, "It's nothing."

"You've been bleeding, who cut you up?"

"I'll be fine. I can heal it when my chakra has been restored more." Haiku assured him.

"It doesn't mean they can get away with what they've done to you."

"Shouldn't we be going?" Haiku reminded him.

* * *

Jeriya knew something wasn't right here. The damage to the village was very small and that was an occasional building that she then scolded her dinosaur for and told him to be more careful.

This was all planned out.

On Kola and Haiku's Chunin Exam, they had easily destroyed half of the village. They can do that, but Kola hadn't.

* * *

Nikku scanned through the ingredients Orochimaru's followers had gotten for him. He had some really good quality items here.

Nikku set the items aside and went to check on their captives. One of the most important and necessary ingredients.

He entered the room and turned on the light. The white dragon's eyes immediately shot open and glared at him.

He wasn't really a fan of dragons.

The white dragon tugged at the strong chains reinforced with many layered up jutsu. Her icy breath froze the chains and then she tried to break them, but Nikku knew it was futile.

Dragons must have an extremely low intelligence level.

She did her best to keep the large egg warm while on the cold floor. She growled as he approached her. "Nikku."

"So the beast can speak after all."

Her eyes narrowed ominously. "I dare you to come closer."

"I'd rather not."

"What do you want with us?"

"I told you before, give me the egg and I'll let you go."

"Over my dead body."

"That can be arranged for the near future."

"What do you want with my little one?"

"They are much easier to use than an adult dragon."

Frost brought her egg closer to her.

"Haven't you heard? I killed Haiku."

Frost could feel herself internally falling apart. "Impossible."

Nikku smirked, "It was possible and I did it."

"What do you want to use us for?"

"You might survive unlike the last dragon I used for this purpose." Nikku left the room, closing the door and turning off the light.

It didn't matter to him if he killed both dragons.

It wasn't like the dragons were his summoning creatures and even then, his plans were more important than the silly life of a beast.

He hated dragons anyway.

* * *

Haiku sat underneath an apple tree, waiting for Itachi to get Kola. Her back ached from all of the deep cuts and every time something even as small as a simple breeze went by, they stung. She did her best to make it seem as if it didn't hurt her. Haiku even deceived Itachi.

Why?

Haiku already knew Itachi was worried sick about her and most likely wasn't in his usual mindset, so it would only make matters worse if he knew how much she was actually suffering.

The wind blew, causing two apple blossoms that were still stuck together to land on her empty palm.

Two meant to always be together.

Haiku smiled. It could refer to anything, but the one who she had known longest was Itachi. Her love for him was never ending. As for Kola, no matter what, they'd always be sisters. They had spent both good and bad times together.

Kola stood before her, tears welding up in her eyes. Yet she was grinning. "HAIKU!"

Haiku got up and hugged Kola. "I missed you."

Kola squeezed Haiku tight, but she made sure she didn't break any bones though it felt like they were just about up to their breaking point. "We were all munch much while you were gone. Kisame thought Itachi was going to commit suicide so he wouldn't let Itachi-san out of his sight for one minute!"

"Can we go home?" Haiku asked after Kola had finally decided on letting go.

"Sure munch much!" Kola grabbed both Itachi and Haiku's hands and teleported to outside of the Akatsuki Base. From there, they entered as usual and went to go eat some dinner. But first, Kola healed Haiku's wounds and Haiku changed into another pair of clothes.

* * *

I found myself being suddenly hugged by none other than my mother. When she found it fit to let go, I then jumped Dad with a hug. He was finishing up on cooking dinner and for some reason, didn't notice me in the room.

Deidara and Sonya came in along with the rest of the Akatsuki. "Haiku, you're alive un?"

"I guess so." I replied.

"Why the fuck did you have to fucken come back? We were told you were fucken dead you fucken cunt!" Hidan ranted.

"I'm apparently immortal."

Hidan's jaw dropped. "That's not possible! You can't be fucken immortal!"

"Who's this un?" Deidara pointed to the flat chested woman who was shorter than Haiku and had a mess of black curls for hair. She looked like she was getting annoyed at being looked down upon as she looked up at Deidara with her big brown eyes.

"Hn? Oh that's my-"

"Is this your little sister?" Deidara asked.

Haiku, Madara and Muki twitched.

"Little… sister…" Muki repeated. "I'm a fully grown woman! See!" Muki flashed the Akatsuki.

Madara felt himself being consumed by rage. His _wife_ just… RAGE!

"I don't look _that_ old do I?" I asked. It wasn't right to be called older than your own mother, especially with Mom being far ahead in years.

Sonya looked at the newcomer. "How'd you even get in here?"

"I've been here all along." Muki replied, crossing her arms.

I explained, "This is my mother, Muki." I could feel myself messing around with my fingers.

Konan looked at Muki carefully, "Muki-sama, I thought you'd be much older."

Muki looked away, "I'm one hundred twenty one."

Kakuzu narrowed his eyes, "Then where's your husband?"

"The Ass? He's around." Muki smirked, "He's a hundred ten."

Konan asked, "How is it you still look like you're around twenty five?"

"Immortality prevents our bodies from aging."

Kola looked like she was in deep concentration. "GHOSTIE!" Kola pointed at Muki with her finger moving within a small circle.

"What?"

* * *

Itachi watched as Haiku snuggled against him. "Good night Mammal. I love you." Just like that, she was sound asleep.

Itachi just figured she had gone through a long day and needed the sleep. Now that she was back at his side, he found it was a whole lot easier to drift off to sleep as well.

* * *

Madara wandered about in the moonlit night around the last place he had fought with Hashirama. It had been a long time since that event though being here made it fresh in his mind.

He peered at the round moon shining brightly in the night through his long ebony bangs. The fresh air was surprisingly soothing.

The scorched areas nearby helped him find the place his daughter had fought and eventually lost her life. Madara's fists tightened, the man who did this would die a long, painful death.

If only Madara knew how true his prediction would be even though it was meant as a threat.

Muki was most likely lying down on their bed back at the base. She was well aware of his location, but thankfully, she hadn't followed.

He reached down and picked up a black, metal fan. On the cool metal, his pale fingers touched dried blood. It wasn't hard for him to pick out her other fan laying useless on the hard, stone earth.

Madara's eyes caught sight of a white crane sitting on the pouch he had seen Haiku with numerous times. After snagging that, he continued his wandering around the area his daughter had fought in and plucked the weapons that had been carelessly tossed aside.

It must have been that man she fought.

When Madara was sure he had picked up the last of Haiku's stuff, he quickly got to the Senju's statue. His crimson eyes narrowed at the small threads and dark vine remnants he saw.

So this is where she died.

Madara jumped off of the statue and onto his own statue. With one more quick check to make sure Muki wasn't anywhere nearby, he entered a secret compartment in the statue made in his image.

He was the only one who knew of it.

Inside hung two uniforms, his long discarded armor and Muki's uniform she rarely wore. His pale fingers trailed along his cold, red armor.

Those were the days…

He touched Muki's army uniform. She had thought it had been destroyed long ago, but Madara had actually hid it here. If Muki got her hands on it…

She'd raise another army and fight him with it for fun.

Madara smirked. The only difference in their relationship from back then is that now they cared for each other and come to eventually love each other.

Back then… He still had his dear little brother. Madara still felt horrible for Izuna's death.

If only he didn't lose his eyes.

If only Izuna didn't give up his own eyes.

Why'd he have to die?

Madara wiped the tears from his eyes. He needed to get going back or else Muki might get curious. He carefully hid the entrance again and darted off in the direction of the Akatsuki Base.

* * *

Kola sat in a high branch of a pine tree with her legs dangling off on one side. Hearing Zetsu coming her way, Kola fell back with her legs holding her to the branch. "Hi Zetsu-san!"

Zetsu looked up at her. "Good morning."

"What'd you find out about the two _lovebirds_?"

"**They're still asleep.** Quite content to be near each other again."

Kola messed around with her wavy locks hanging down, "What'd they do last night?"

"**Talked for a while and then fell asleep in each other's arms.**"

"Aw… How sweet!" Kola smiled.

"We have company." Zetsu looked impassive though when he figured out who it was, he grew nervous.

Kola grabbed the branch and swung her legs over so that she was hanging with her feet pointed towards the ground. She dropped down and neatly landed on her feet.

Nikku merged in front of Kola. "Long time no see."

Kola's hands tightened to fists. "What do you want?" Kola glared at Nikku, rage evident in her voice. "You killed my clan." Kola gritted her teeth, "Separated me from Zetsu-san and killed my sister."

Zetsu stood behind Kola, it was apparent this was one of the first few times she had ever gotten this angry before and lost all traces of her silly self. Kola was dead serious and had a bone to pick with Nikku.

"So you've heard about that already? She was easy to kill." Nikku bragged. "In her last minutes, she was so defenseless, it was tempting to take advantage of her just to provoke those who care about the half-blooded bitch."

"Don't talk about her that way." Kola's knuckles turned white and Zetsu caught a glimpse of blood forming from her nails cutting through her palms.

"Why not? It's all true. She wasn't a full-blooded Sotaki, which is hard to come by anyway seeing how they were just a bunch of slaves that banded together at one point and were led by a crazy bitch. She wasn't even full-blooded Uchiha either to the dismay of the clan mates of her father. Yet the bitch was accepted into our clan!"

"ENOUGH!" Kola uprooted the pine tree she had been sitting on, made it a bit lighter so she could swing it easier and then strengthened it with her chakra so it was harder than steel.

Nikku was caught off guard by her rage and as a result, got hit like a baseball and went flying through the air only for her to appear close to were he was going to land and smack him back in the direction he had come from.

Zetsu calmly watched as Kola continued to bat Nikku around. Surprisingly, she hit him at such angles to that he wouldn't hit any trees other than the one she was holding. Kola wasn't trying to kill him. In fact, she was unleashing such anger and was purposely inflicting as many broken bones and other painful injuries as she could. Kola was planning on making Nikku beg on his hands and knees for death to end it all.

After she was sure Nikku had suffered enough, she took the tree and aimed it all perfectly so that Nikku was flung back at were Zetsu still stood with the top of the pine tree piercing though the exact center of his chest.

Zetsu stood wide eyed at the sight, Nikku's blood dripping onto the bark and only merging deep within the earth saved himself from the tree landing directly on top of him.

Nikku was traveling around underground after coming back to life from Kola's brutality and healing himself completely when he saw a flash of a black cloak with red blobs on it. Two hands were at his throat, effectively squeezing the life out of him. His hands clawed at the bi-colored hands though they wouldn't let go.

Being underground could provide for an effective cover from attacks, but while fighting someone else who was also merged in the ground was tricky work because many jutsu become disabled.

Zetsu, being underground for great periods of time, knows exactly how to fight if approached by someone else merged underground and also knows how to use the jutsu many wouldn't be able to use there because he has had a lot of practice over the years. It takes perfect manipulation to perform something like a water jutsu or even a fire jutsu. It all depends on the skill level of fighting while merged and also the experience in doing so.

Kola cracked her knuckles when Zetsu came up to the surface with Nikku's limp body. He had died of suffocation.

Nikku came back to life and escaped Zetsu's light hold only to get punched in the face by Kola. His jaw shattered from the blow. Nikku fell to the ground, holding his face into place and peering up at Kola who's fist had cut marks on it from his bone's fragments. She plucked a piece that happened to stay embedded in her skin and kicked him, breaking all of his ribs and sending him flying into a nearby tree who's trunk gave way from the force.

Kola approached where Nikku had landed only to find him gone. His chakra signature had also disappeared. Nikku fled while he had the chance.

Kola skipped over to where Zetsu stood. She looked up at him with puppy dog eyes, "I love you Zetsu-san."

Zetsu was confused as to how she was able to switch back to her usual mood so quickly after being in such a state only minutes before. "Are you ok?"

"Of course I am Zetsu-kun!" Kola locked arms with him and made him skip with her back to the Akatsuki base. "Are you?"

"**Yes.**"

* * *

"Mammal?"

"Hn?" Itachi had been spacing off while we walked hand in hand into the town.

"You wanna go to the candy store?"

Itachi smirked.

I led him inside with a smile on my face. "So what do you want?" My eyes scanned the shelves and shelves of sweets.

Itachi looked a little bit bored. "Why don't we get some dangos instead?"

"We can, but what do you want from here?"

Itachi picked up a box of chocolate pocky. "Ever had it before?"

I took a good look at it, "I haven't had one of those in a long time!"

Itachi and I went to the counter to pay for it. Of course, we both had a race to see who could pay for it first while still holding the other's hand. Once again…

Itachi won.

* * *

We were in the forest, getting close to the base when Itachi looked over at me. "You're cold."

"Am not." I replied, unconsciously rubbing my arms even though I was wearing a long sleeved shirt.

"Don't lie to me." Itachi replied with a stoic expression. "It's a cold, spring morning."

I heard the sound of the buttons on his cloak clicking. His Akatsuki cloak was suddenly flung over me, giving me the warmth it gained from the morning.

"Hn? Thanks, but what about you?" I looked over at him. He rubbed his arms and then crossed them.

"I'll be fine."

* * *

Nikku sat at his desk, getting everything measured exactly. He was going to get revenge on the remaining members in his clan for what they have done. It took a half an hour to try and get his jaw back to how it was and then try getting all of his teeth on that side of his mouth put back exactly how they had been.

He was going to make them pay for making him a fool.

* * *

Itachi intently watched Haiku as she licked the chocolate off of a pocky. She was teasing him, Itachi just knew it. Itachi could feel himself squirming around in his spot as he watched her take her time licking the pocky thoroughly and making sure she got every last spot of chocolate off before consuming the remains with a few quick bites.

* * *

**Author's Note: How was the chapter? How's the entire story coming along? For those who don't know, pocky is a treat/candy from Japan that is a biscuit stick covered in various things except for a little bit on one end so that you can hold it. The things are a sauce that then coats most of it. Some of the sauces are strawberry, chocolate, I heard about a rare one being honey and stuff like that. They are actually very good though I have only had the strawberry and the chocolate. It's a dark chocolate and though I don't care much for dark chocolate, the pocky is really good nonetheless. ^_^**


	34. Chapter 34: Don't You Love Me

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

**Haiku & Kola 2:**

**Relationship Problems**

**Chapter 34: Don't You Love Me?

* * *

**

**Author's Note: Looking back on this chapter now that it's finished, I just realized, I really like this chapter. ^_^ I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who knows about the great tasting pocky. It's been a while since I've last had any...**

**xxyangxx2006 : What? I found that part hilarious on the commercials. Sure I've never seen the movie, but that doesn't mean I can't laugh when I saw them. *looks innocent***

**melioko : Nah, she's not sick. She just really missed her little Stalker. Plus she went through a lot when she was a prisoner.**

**blaze : The thing is, if Madara killed those Muki flashed, then she'd be annoyed at him for killing them and would banish him to the couch for who knows how long... Other than that, she kept a close eye on him and made him come with her back to the bedroom as soon as she left them.**

**CuttlefishShiz : I never knew about pocky with chocolate and crushed almonds. Sounds interesting, but I had the opportunity to get the giant pocky once. Too bad I didn't get it.  
**

**

* * *

**

Zetsu reached out from the shower for his towel he had left on the counter. With his other hand, he turned off the water. A hand touched his white fingers. He pulled his hand back into the shower and he peered out, making sure the figure couldn't see him in his unclothed state.

Kola looked up innocently at him with his green towel in one hand. "You looking for something, Zetsu-san?"

Zetsu could feel his face heating up. "May I have the towel?"

Kola blinked at him a few times, "Why?"

Zetsu gulped. "**We need it.**"

"Ok." Kola handed it over, but just stood there, watching him.

"**What do you want right this minute?**"

"On your black side, where does the black end since you have two white feet?"

"My thigh."

"Can I see?"

Zetsu wrapped the towel securely around his waist. "**Not now.**"

Kola's head drooped, "But Zetsu…"

"Kola, **we would like to change now.**"

Kola looked back up at him and smiled, "Go ahead, I'm not stopping you."

"Please wait outside of the bathroom."

"OK!" Kola turned around and left the room and shut the door behind her.

* * *

Zetsu cringed when something sharp pierced his skin when he put on his boxers. He looked down and carefully pulled out a metal pin. The very tip of the pin was stained a dark red. He set it down on the counter and healed himself as he finished getting changed.

Zetsu blinked a few times, "Kola, what are you doing?"

Kola looked up from her work with a bunch of metal pins sticking out of her mouth. She had the dull ends being held by her lips as she sewed the material in front of her. Kola pulled all of the pins out and held them between two fingers. "Adding that last strand of thread the cheep producers saved while making these." Kola pleasantly smiled as she presented one of his boxers to him. "Didn't I do a great job?" Kola grinned and motioned to all of the other pairs of boxers he possessed that had already been sewed.

Zetsu picked up one of them with his black hand. "**Why are there smiley faces all over this new pair?**"

"Oh that one! Don't you like it? I added my own little, personal touch to them."

Zetsu's yellow eyes scanned over the rest of them. Some she had sewn red hearts on while other 'personal touches' included venus flytraps, tick tack toe games, 'Fuzzy Bunny', 'Kola was here', 'Property of Zetsu', Akatsuki Clouds, their clan crest, small ducks, and chibi eyed bunnies to just name a few.

Why'd she have to be so good at making little patches?

"Zetsu-san?" Kola gained his attention again, "Do you like them?"

"Why are there so many?"

"I got you some new boxers and I was bored."

"**So you started sewing.**"

"Yup! I got all of these done while you were in the shower." Kola nodded her head.

"I wasn't in there for very long."

"But it felt like _forever_." Kola whined.

* * *

"Zetsu-san?"

Zetsu glanced up at her. "**Yes?**"

"Why don't I have a ring?"

"A ring?"

"Do I even need a ring?" Kola looked up at the ceiling, "Not everyone wanted a ring, so they didn't have rings."

"**For what?**"

"We're engaged silly munch much!"

"We are?" Zetsu was confused, since when did they even mention marriage?

"You gave me a flower, so that means you love me."

"**We do love you.**"

"Then we need to get married." Kola folded up her arms, "After that, you can show me how to make the baby." She nodded her head with her eyes closed.

"…"

"We'll have little Zetsu Jrs. running around everywhere! Do you think any of them will look like me?"

"I don't see why not."

"You don't seem very happy about our engagement…" Kola's eyes watered up. "Zetsu-san…" She looked at him with such wide, innocent looking eyes. "Don't you love me?"

"**Of course we love you**." Zetsu knew fully well she was guilt tripping them once again, but they couldn't feel comfortable with the knowledge that they were the cause of her tears.

Kola wiped away that singe tear and latched onto his chest, squeezing him as hard as she could until his ribs were at the verge of breaking.

Kola stood up, looking fully alert. "DINNER TIME!" She grabbed ahold of one of his hands and pulled him along after her to the kitchen.

* * *

"Getting ready for a mission, Mammal?"

Itachi slid the last of the kunai into his weapon holster before attaching it back to his leg. "You should be getting ready too. You're coming with us."

I put my metal fan I was cleaning away, "Where are we going?"

I could have sworn Itachi showed a hint of sadness in his eyes before being covered up by his stoic expression. "The Leaf Village."

"What for?"

"To get the Nine Tailed Fox and I also need to do something."

"Hn. That doesn't sound that hard. What are we doing after we catch Fido?"

"It's a long process after a jinchuriki host is captured."

"What is supposed to happen to them?"

"You wouldn't want to know."

"Hn. If you say so." I put away the last of the items my father had gotten for me from the Final Valley.

Itachi smirked, "We can probably go to a Dango Shop if we get there early enough."

"When are we going?"

"Soon."

"It's almost dark."

"I know. Pein still wants us to leave tonight."

I pulled on my Akatsuki Cloak, "Ready when you are."

"Hn." Itachi passed by me, setting a hat on my head. "Let's go."

* * *

Kola sat at the dinner table while eating milk and cookies with Zetsu when she heard footsteps. She glanced in the direction of the people.

"Kisame, Itachi and Haiku." Zetsu informed her without even needing her to ask.

"Where are they going?"

"**The Leaf Village on a mission.**"

"Zetsu-san?" Kola tilted her head to one side.

"Yes, Kola-chan?"

"When are we getting married?"

"**Um…** Well… **I don't know.** When do you want to get married?"

"Tomorrow?"

"That's a bit soon isn't it?"

"Nuh uh." Kola crossed her arms. "It's been a long time since you gave me the flower."

"**How about in the summer?**"

"Kola gulped down the last of the milk in her glass. She set it on the wooden table with a small 'tick', "OK!"

Zetsu wondered to himself if she really wanted to get married to him or if she was just messing around. Sometimes even he wondered what Kola was up to.

* * *

Haiku glanced over at Itachi as the three of them traveled through the trees at a steady pace. It wouldn't be long before they reached Konoha and would need to find a spot to stay until it was morning and time to enter the village.

* * *

Sonya awoke from sleep and forced herself out of bed before she could protest and be lazy. She had forgotten about doing a handful of different tasks. At this rate, there would be no way she could possibly get back to the Akatsuki.

The Old Man was now gone.

There was no Hokage.

The village was partly destroyed.

Many brave Leaf Ninja had been killed.

There was simply no way she could slip away to the Akatsuki at this point in time.

Pein hadn't been completely notified of where she would be. She only told him that she'd be back as soon as she could. Though she had a feeling Pein knew she was still a Leaf Ninja that hadn't severed her bonds with it, nor was she completely willing to do so. They had a neutral, unspoken understanding.

She could tell the Village a little bit of information about the Akatsuki every now and then without giving away the location or anything of great importants.

In return, the Akatsuki would be given with little bits of information.

It was like a trade though Itachi could be asked more about it since he had his loyalties cut off a long time ago from that village.

The part that had been bugging her for a while now was the simple fact that she was developing affections for the blonde bomber.

It was obvious he never stopped flirting with her.

* * *

Itachi kept watch as Kisame and Haiku slept. A swarm of fireflies drifted into the area they occupied. This swarm was spread out over a good area so that they weren't all crowded around. The light they produced helped light up the surroundings.

He gazed at the wide moon, shining in all of its glory, though unlike the sun, it shared the sky with the many stars. Together the moon and stars lived in harmony while the sun blocked out all those who dared to shine while it was around. It made itself be the only one visible. That was truly the difference between two equally graceful things in the sky. To be like the moon…

Was to live in balance with those around it.

Adjusting it's own brightness so that it wouldn't block out the lights of the stars.

However the sun…

Showed it's entire potential by not holding back.

At times like this…

Itachi wondered why the hell he was thinking about such things. Was he simply admiring the world for how it was? Was he just savoring the world with all of its qualities before the time came in which he'd have to die.

Haiku would be devastated.

* * *

Zetsu had cleaned the dishes and so he arrived back in his bedroom a bit late. What he saw was a sleeping Kola. Sure she looked so innocent while she slept in his bed, but what made him twitch just the slightest bit was one simple fact:

Kola was playing starfish _again_.

He got changed and approached his bed. Kola was great at playing that game simply because she could somehow manage to spread herself on the entire bed. She hadn't even bothered to get underneath the blankets.

Zetsu let out a sigh before having to pick her up and put her under the blankets. She once again stretched out, but he nudged her to the side enough to get room to lie down.

* * *

I saw the sun about ready to reach the ridge of the horizon. I stretched once more before waking both Kisame and Itachi.

It wasn't long before we headed off in the direction of the Leaf Village. We slowed our pace as we were in sight of the gates with a single guard, the bells ringing out with every step we took.

* * *

I hurried back with Itachi to the Tea shop in which Kisame was waiting for us at.

I never liked Danzo very much though he was surprised to see me with Itachi. It took him a while to realize it was me, but as soon as he realized, he gave me that look. The look that said something along the lines of, 'How could you leave to be with him? Don't you know who he is?'

He seemed upset to learn that I knew of what happened.

Kisame was sitting at one of the long tables. He glanced at us with a slight nod. Itachi and I sat down right as the dangos and tea arrived. Unfortunately, Kakashi stood at the entrance with that perverted book of his.

It wasn't long before Kureni and Asuma arrived. Kakashi said something about waiting for Sasuke. With the appearance of Sasuke that apparently displeased Itachi, he gave the signal and we left. I had left enough money to cover the untouched food behind. Might as well.

"Haiku."

"Hn?" I glanced over at Itachi.

"Hide in the shadows and don't come out unless we need backup. You don't need to be drawn into this. Not all of them know of you no longer belonging to this village."

"Danzo knows. He'll most likely speak."

"We'll see. But for now, just do it."

"Ok." I darted into the trees, making my bell silent and hiding my chakra signature.

Sure enough, Asuma and Kureni engaged the two Akatsuki members in battle. Silently, I watched, my sharingan tracing the movements of those present. My eyes darted to the new figure.

Kakashi.

Still I watched, waiting to see if I was needed or if I would get a small signal from Itachi that the others wouldn't be able to pick up on. Yet none came. It wasn't until Guy showed up that I was tensing my leg muscles to jump into the fight, but Itachi looked right in my direction. With his excuse, they left, so I silently followed along in the trees, making sure they couldn't sense my presence.

* * *

Kola sat up, wondering how to wake the still sleeping Zetsu. She decided that she wanted to wake him up in a way she hadn't done so before. A sly grin crossed her face.

* * *

"Are you ok, Itachi-san?" I set my hand on his shoulder.

"Just a little tired. I'll be fine."

"Ok."

"Itachi." Kisame paused, "It's not good to overuse those eyes of yours."

Itachi got back up. "I just needed to rest."

"Kisame." I said.

Kisame looked over.

"I messed with his eyes so that he has the Internal Mangekyo Sharingan. He can't go blind now."

Kisame grinned, revealing his sharp, pointed teeth. "That's great."

* * *

Zetsu regrettably opened his eyes. He really didn't want to wake up, but there was something going on that really shouldn't be. He spotted Kola hovering over him, looking completely amazed. Something caught his eyes attention…

His pants and boxers that he had gone to sleep in laying on the floor.

Zetsu's face heated up when the realization of what she was doing smacked him straight in the face.

She was poking and examining his length.

Zetsu quickly grabbed the blankets and covered himself up.

Kola looked up at him with a grin, "I never knew you were completely white down there."

Zetsu never thought Kola would ever do such a thing. She had just proved him wrong, that's for sure.

"Why was it sticking up like that? Does it always do that?"

Zetsu really didn't want to be here right now, having to face Kola and her wide array of questions that were soon to come. "**It happens**."

"What's it like when it's not like that?" Kola gave him the eyebrow. "Does it turn black?"

"**It becomes limp.** Kola, I really don't want to have this conversation right now."

"Ok. But Zetsu-san…"

"What?"

"What's its purpose?"

"I'll tell you when we're married."

Kola seemed to think for a little bit. "Zetsu-san, it's a penis, right?"

"**Yes, Kola, it is.**"

"Don't you use it to have sex?"

* * *

Sonya looked out of one of the many large windows in her house. She lounged back in the black couch and glanced out of one of the glass walls. She could see out, but no one could see in.

The Advisors said she couldn't go find out more about the Akatsuki until the new Hokage was found and even then, she had to get permission from the Hokage.

It was so much easier with the Old Man.

Sonya desperately needed something to do. They wouldn't give her a mission since they said she was to be having a day off. Sonya stroked Delilah's fur, causing the cat to purr in delight.

"Delilah, I don't know what I should do."

Delilah looked up at her, but only licked her fingers and continued to purr.

"Some help you are."

She heard a knock at the door. Sonya picked up Delilah who was laying on her lap and set her down on the couch so she could answer the door.

In front of her stood her brother, Shikamaru. "Hey sis."

Sonya glanced over to the man besides him, short brown hair sticking out from a (baseball) cap. His soft blue eyes met her own.

"Do you know him? He said he knew you and wanted to see you." Shikamaru looked suspicious. "He's been hanging around our house for a while now."

"Of course she remembers me and my art, un." The stranger claimed.

"I met him from an art show I saw while I stopped in a small town while on a mission." Sonya lied.

"Ok, then I'm going to get going on that mission." Shikamaru walked off mumbling, "What a drag."

"Bye Shikamaru."

"Bye Sis."

The stranger looked at her, "Aren't you going to let me in? I came all this way to see you, un."

Sonya smiled, "Come on in."

Deidara changed his appearance back when Sonya shut the door. "Nice place you have here."

"My parents gave it to me."

Delilah came running towards him. "Meow!"

Deidara reached down and pet the cat. "What's her name, un?"

"Delilah, this is Deidara. Deidara, this is Delilah. Shake hands."

Delilah set her paw on the palm of Deidara's hand. She let out a little purr.

"Translations?" Deidara questioned.

"It's a pleasure to meet you at last." Sonya replied.

"Meow."

Sonya's eyebrow went up just the slightest bit. "I've heard so much about you. Is it true about your extra mouths?"

"Yes un."

Sonya showed Deidara around her two-story home.

"Lot's of room, un." Deidara nodded his head. "It's a nice place to live." He smirked.

"I can see out of the walls, but they can't see in."

"Great touch."

* * *

"So why is it that you haven't come back yet?" Deidara lay back on the couch.

"As you might know by now, the Hokage was killed by Orochimaru. Many of our ninja have been killed and so it's been harder for us all. The Advisors won't let me go back to 'gather more information about the Akatsuki' until we get a new Hokage. Even then, I'd have to talk to the Hokage about it."

"I was beginning to think you weren't coming back, un." Deidara chuckled.

"I will eventually."

* * *

**Author's Note: Sorry this chapter is a bit short. What did you think of the story so far? Kola sure is getting mischievous lately. Poor, poor Zetsu for having to deal with her all the time. She just doesn't understand the phrase, 'personal space' or 'privacy' very well. At least when it's Zetsu.**


	35. Chapter 35: The Exchange

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

**Haiku & Kola 2: **

**Relationship Problems**

**Chapter 35: The Exchange

* * *

**

**Author's Note: Sorry for taking so long to update these two chapters and for messing up on when Tsunade was Hokage. eheh, oops.**

**blaze : When it comes to Kola, one will never know if she's serious or not unless she's already dressed up, trying to drag the person into a marriage ceremony that the person didn't even know about in the first place. Yeah, Kola saw it...**

**melioko : Well sure Zetsu has learned to cope with how Kola behaves, but who knows what he'll react if their children (if they have any) will be like her. Sure it would be something gradually made, so hopefully if that were to happen, he'd be able to get used to them. Let's just hope Kola doesn't go overboard with children...**

**CuttlefishShiz : Glad to hear it.**

**xxyangxx2006 : Sometimes he probably does wish she knew, but the problem with that is whether or not she'd try and demand children from him and who knows how many she'd want...  
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* * *

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Nikku worked on recreating the biological weapon that had taken out his clan. He carefully went over all of his notes to make sure he didn't mess up and waste his precious ingredients Orochimaru had gotten ahold of for him.

* * *

Frost was starving and was becoming dehydrated by the time the egg she held close to her started moving. Cracks appeared in the shell. It was hatching. It made her heart leap for joy. It was finally hatching.

Frost felt sick with dread.

…It was hatching…

This wasn't good. Nikku sure wasn't going to give her food or water for that matter. Her chakra had gone very low. Her little one was going to be hungry as soon as he/she got out.

"Shh…" Frost whispered. "It's not time to come out yet."

The cracks stopped growing.

"Wait a just a little bit longer little one."

It cracked a small hole in the side facing away from the door so it could get fresh air. Other than that, it stayed still from inside the egg.

Nikku entered the room with a beaker in his hand. "It's time." Nikku set the beaker on the table and pressed a button.

Frost let go of her egg to prevent the electric shock to get her baby too. She howled from the pain.

"Hurts don't it? Behave wild beast."

Frost glared daggers at the one standing next to the button he had released. He attempted to come close only for Frost to try biting his head off as soon as he got close enough. Nikku jumped back and pressed the button again to send an electric current through the chains that held her to the back of the room. Thankfully it was only a short zap.

Frost could feel the malnutrition getting to her. She had known she was getting bony from the treatment. Her ribs could be spotted from under the pure white scales she possessed. There was only a matter of time before…

Frost wasn't going to let herself think the rest of that sentence out.

She had to stay strong for not only herself, but her family.

Frost watched in horror as her baby hatched from the egg with Nikku in the room.

It was a beautiful, female dragon. She had deep, dark blue eyes with slightly lighter blue scales on the top half of her. On the bottom half, the scales was a light sky blue. She looked up at Frost and squirted out a blast of pure, fresh water.

Frost watched with soft eyes how cute her little girl was. She had gotten an offspring that was more like her than Magma. "You're name's going to be Aqua." Frost whispered to the curious little one.

Frost licked up the cool water at her feet. She needed to drink water while she could. The water slid down her throat, making her feel less dehydrated even though she would need to drink much more water than that to quench her thirst.

"Momma." Aqua squeaked.

"That's right, Aqua."

Frost was zapped again, but the jolt seemed to last longer than the first two. She fell to the ground before her little Aqua.

"MOMMA!"

Frost blacked out.

* * *

Kabuto ran into the room he knew Nikku would be in, slamming it open so hard, the door hit the inside wall. Nikku jumped in his seat and the liquid he was working with spilt on the table and onto his lap. He grabbed the beaker and saved the other third of it. Inside was a sight he wasn't expecting to see.

An unconscious dragon and apparently the other one, the smaller one he had never seen before, was half dead.

Nikku stood up, letting the fluid run down his pants. "KABUTO LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!"

Nikku was furious. "It doesn't look too bad." Kabuto responded.

"This can kill me!"

"You better wash off then." Kabuto replied.

Nikku dropped his pants and tugged off his shirt as fast as he could, avoiding touching where the liquid had touched. Thankfully for him, the liquid didn't seep into the cloth of his clothing.

Nikku ran to the showers to get completely sanitized.

Kabuto looked at the dragons. They honestly needed something to eat if Nikku expected them to live. He went to the smaller one and closed the wound the best he could so that it didn't die of blood loss. Baby dragons didn't have a defense even close to the ones that were a year old from what he had picked up. Their scales were soft when they first hatched and it took a while to harden up, so it was up to the parents to protect them.

Kabuto headed off, making a mental note to have someone feed and give the two water. Orochimaru had to sacrifice many snakes to get ahold of them to just let them die.

When Nikku was done cleaning himself of that yellowish fluid, Nikku was requested to see Orochimaru. The new body would be needed soon if Nikku couldn't fix what Sarutobi did to Orochimaru.

* * *

It was already the next day and Nikku felt like shit. He stayed in bed and slept most of the day away. When he was awake, he'd sneeze and cough so much that he wouldn't be able to fall back asleep.

Nikku was terrified to see the black mark forming on the front of his thigh.

* * *

Itachi was walking alone to the apple tree near the Akatsuki Base that Haiku seemed to like so much. They were supposed to be going to a Dango Shop and possibly watch a movie a bit further away.

There wasn't very many movies playing lately, let alone an interesting one, but this one was chosen simply because it was the most promising of them all and they needed to get away from the others for a while.

A hand latched onto his ankle and before he could do anything, he was dragged under and tied up with chakra threads.

* * *

I waited at the tree for what seemed like hours. More accurately was that I waited for about an hour though it seemed like weeks. I sat on a branch and quietly waited for my Little Mammal, but he didn't show up. Saddened, I headed back to the base in order to find out where he was.

Did he just not want to go with me?

* * *

Itachi's body slid into a cell that lacked the stone flooring. It was simply a cell made of compacted earth. He maneuvered himself in a way so he could sit up and get a better look at the chakra threads still binding him.

* * *

"Zetsu, do you know where Itachi-san is?" I asked since he was the only one in the room. Kola was just taking a shower.

"**Sorry, but we aren't entirely sure.**" Zetsu replied. "How about using the book?"

"Ok, thanks." I took the leather bound book from his grasp, quickly finding the section about Itachi.

A cold sensation ran down my spine. It felt as if pins were pricking my heart. I couldn't breathe or remember to.

Why couldn't it have just been me?

If he died… There would be no guarantee he would come back.

I felt frozen to the spot. Unable to move or even speak.

Itachi needed to get out of there as soon as he can.

I snapped out of it and teleported as close as I could to where Orochimaru currently resided in. Nikku had made it impossible to teleport directly into the base.

* * *

Kola caught up with Haiku running down the cold halls. "I'm here to help and that's the truth munch much."

"Where's Zetsu?"

"Zetsu? Why would you ask about him?"

"The one is usually near the other." Haiku replied.

"He went up ahead, but he found something else he needs to do."

"What's that?"

"Your dragons are being freed and brought back to the Summoning Realm."

"Which ones were captured?"

"Frost and the new one. It's a girl."

"Are they ok?"

"Now they are. Apparently, someone just fed them."

"Do you know the name of the girl?"

"Aqua."

"Something just doesn't seem right around here, but I don't know what it is."

"We'll know when the time comes munch much."

* * *

Nikku fingered the first of many holes to come in the near future. This one was the very first and would potentially get the biggest and become the most painful. He carefully got puss on his fingertips.

Nikku made himself seem less sick and entered the room next door in which he was to have a 'peaceful' negotiation with.

Hostile greetings were made between the three remaining Terra Clan members and the half blooded Uchiha. Nikku took his opportunity to slap Kola across the face with the hand covered with puss. It wasn't much puss, but it would most likely do just fine.

The three, unwelcome visitors looked as if they wanted to kill him, but the problem with that was they didn't know where Nikku had hidden Itachi. All they knew was it was here and it was in a cell.

"So you're immortal after all." Nikku growled. "How was your swim with the fish?"

Haiku simply gave him the signature Uchiha Death Glare.

"What is it you wanted?" Nikku already suspected, but he'd play their little game.

"A trade." Haiku answered, still glaring. "In exchange for Itachi Uchiha."

"I don't know what you're talking about. I don't have an Itachi though we do have an Uchiha."

Kola pulled out a branch from out of the pocket on her jacket that expanded into its original size and slammed the tip of one end into the floor, creating a crater in the stone floor. "Stop messing around. You know why we're here."

"Do I really make you that angry to be serious?" Nikku questioned in a lazy manner.

"Why do you want Itachi?" Haiku asked.

"I have my reasons." Nikku paused, "So what are you willing to do for him? You've already died once for him, Haiku. Are you willing to trade even your very soul for that man?"

"Yes, but the only one who can truly own both my heart and soul is him and **only** him."

"Go ahead and make your offer than."

"A simple swap. Itachi for me."

"Why would you be so willing in such matters?"

"I know he'll be safe in the hands of my sister and Zetsu."

"Haiku! You can't be serious! Why would you switch places? Isn't there always something else you can trade if not just take Itachi back by force? There must be some other way munch much!" Kola looked freaked out about the whole matter.

"I'll be fine. Love makes one do crazy things."

"But last time you were found floating down a river, dead." Zetsu pointed out.

"Just trust me."

* * *

Itachi listened to the men heading towards his cell.

"Hard to believe he's getting to leave so soon."

"Heh, with his life too." The second man paused, "Why would Nikku let that Uchiha go so easily?"

"Something about a trade. That's all we're supposed to know and not ask questions."

"But… is it true? You know, about their eyes?"

"Who knows? I'd rather not experience what they can do."

A third person interrupted their conversation. "Shut up! We have a job to do."

Itachi watched as the fourth person, a woman, open the door while the two who had been talking entered the cell. They pulled him up by his upper arms and led him out.

Silently, he followed their directions to wherever it was that Nikku was at. Itachi memorized the way taken just in case if he ever needed to find his way through here. It might just come in handy and if not… It's better to be prepared anyway.

One question was floating around in his head… What was being traded for his freedom? It was a given that it was the Akatsuki behind this, but what would Nikku want?

The second person who had been talking earlier broke the silence. "Why's the Uchiha behaving?"

The first answered. "I'm just glad he isn't trying to kill us even with the chakra threads. You can't be too sure about those freaks with eye techniques."

The woman who was in front of the others glanced over her shoulder. "The reason why is because the two of you have been blabbing about him being free. He just doesn't know the way out."

The two holding Itachi's arms stiffened up.

The third man who was walking behind them with a hand on the hilt of his sword stated in an annoyed manner. "This is a highly skilled shinobi we're having to escort and it would be better if we had others with us."

Those who were with him, waited outside of the open door and pushed him inside. Itachi glanced over his shoulder at the three men and the woman who quickly scurried away.

Nikku straightened back up, "Now that you have your precious little weasel back, I want my end of the bargain. Haiku, you're to come with me to your cell."

Haiku looked a bit bored. "What rules apply to me?"

"No trying to escape and do as I say."

"So you want me to just sit down in a cell?"

"Yes."

Haiku smirked. "Ok then. I'll just sit down in the cell you put me in."

"Then come with me." Nikku led Haiku back down the same way that Itachi had just came from.

Kola grinned at Itachi. "Time to go back, Stalker!"

"What about Haiku?" Itachi asked straight-faced.

A mischievous look appeared on Kola's face. "We'll be back."

* * *

Nikku sneezed three times in a row when he entered Orochimaru's bedroom. Orochimaru stared him down from his bed. Kabuto finished wrapping up his arm before saying with a pleasant smile, "One sneeze, someone is talking good about you. Two sneezes, someone is talking bad about you. Three sneezes, your catching a cold. Isn't that how it goes?"

Nikku's eyes narrowed at the silver haired teen. "Brother, how can I help you?"

"I need a new body." Orochimaru's hair fell into his face. "I helped you and now you need to help me."

"I'll work on it." Nikku was at the open doorway when a black haired teen walked by. Nikku grabbed the young man who he hand never seen before (and yes he had seen each and every one of Orochimaru's followers) by the purple rope around his waist. He pulled the teen inside, questioning the two still in the room. "Who is this?"

Kabuto pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose, "Sasuke Uchiha."

Nikku glanced back at the young man to see him with the Uchiha's signature death glare. "Hm… You don't say."

"Let go." The Uchiha's icy demand forced Nikku out of his thoughts.

Nikku headed out of the room, saying as went, "Uchiha, I've seen better. You better work on that glare." It wasn't long after he said it that he felt something sharp digging into his back. Carefully, he yanked it out, healing the wound and looking at what hit him.

A kunai.

"It seems as if Sasuke is a little backstabber." Nikku tossed back the kunai to the little Uchiha in an uncaring manner. "You might want to keep an eye on him."

* * *

"So this is the new prisoner." Sasuke looked at me through the bars. "Hn."

"What are you doing here?" I finished the crane I was folding and pulled out another one. Nikku forgot to take the sticky notes from me.

"I'm with Orochimaru now."

"Why would you do that? He's a creep."

"I'll do anything for power."

"To kill Itachi?"

"Who else would I want to kill?"

"Your fangirls."

"What are you doing here?"

"This and that."

"Why are you a prisoner and since when were you no longer apart of the Leaf?"

"I'm going to be stuck here for a little while longer." I sighed. "Personal reasons."

* * *

Flame watched his new sibling exploring his parents' room. She was such a curious little dragon for one who was in the hands of Nikku.

"Momma! Momma!" Aqua watched the tip of Flame's tail slowly moving back and forth.

Frost smiled, "Yes, Aqua?"

"Fire!" Aqua pounced on Flame's tail.

Magma chuckled. He was happy to have his family back.

Diamond came into the den with Willow. The two had been talking about how cute Aqua was.

Willow carefully picked up Aqua and got a good look at her.

"Momma?" Aqua squeaked.

"It's ok. I'm not going to hurt you." Willows bright blue eyes looked into the deep, dark blue eyes of the smaller dragon. Willow set Aqua down who ran to Diamond, tugging on her front limb.

"What is it?" Diamond asked.

Aqua looked up at Diamond in her cute baby dragon way. "Nom!"

* * *

"Why didn't you tell me you had her here earlier?" Orochimaru glared at Nikku.

"She hasn't been here for long." Nikku carefully explained.

I looked up at the two. Orochimaru who now had a dark purple on his arms and Nikku who looked completely miserable. A sick kind of miserable.

Oh shit.

I hid behind a wall of cranes while Orochimaru was attempting to swap bodies so suddenly.

Ravens circled around the two men. The sound of feathers filled the room.

Orochimaru stopped his technique and along with Nikku, watched the black ravens screech. Kola appeared beside me. Grabbing my arm, she teleported to the doorway, behind Itachi.

She tapped Itachi on the shoulder, nodding he created a shadow clone to keep the genjutsu going.

As we were fleeing, the clone willed the ravens to attack.

* * *

"I wasn't expecting you guys to show up so soon." Haiku sat on the couch.

"But you were happy to see us, right munch much?" Kola snagged the bag of marshmallows out of Zetsu's hands and plopping three into her mouth before handing the bag back.

"Of course I was. Perfect timing too." Haiku added in before considering what she'd say next. "But didn't you notice something a bit strange about Nikku?"

"He was sick." Itachi replied.

Kola tilted her head to one side, wavy locks falling to that side. "He was?"

"Kola. **We better be careful.**" Zetsu handed back the bag. "This could be serious."

"I knuw, Zetsuuu-son, dun't wurry. Be huppy."

* * *

**Author's Note: Oh Kola, she's always something else.**


	36. Chapter 36: Dragon vs Snake

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…**

**Haiku & Kola 2: **

**Relationship Problems **

**Chapter 36: Dragon vs Snake

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**Author's Notes: As I mentioned in the beginning of chapter 35, I'm updating this chapter as well. Unfortunately this is the last chapter of this story and so I'll have to get working on the next story, 'Haiku & Kola 3: The Married Life,' that is unless no one thinks that I should do so. After all, I have a lot of plans on it so far with the problem that the events happen in random dispersed time periods so yeah... I hope I didn't mess up on this chapter.  
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Zetsu opened his eyes, half expecting Kola to be figuring out some way to wake him up. He double-checked the time when he found Kola still asleep with the blanket pulled over her head.

Taking this opportunity, Zetsu took a quick shower, still expecting her to appear in the bathroom or take his clothes and towel again. By time he was done and dressed, Kola was still in bed; sound asleep.

Knowing he'd regret it, he pulled back the blanket and felt her forehead just to make sure she wasn't sick.

He could feel his eyebrow twitch. This couldn't be good. Haiku wasn't sick.

Zetsu merged into the ground, looking for Haiku and Itachi as fast as he could. He needed to speak with Haiku.

* * *

Haiku could feel every single movement Itachi made. She was wide-awake, but she didn't know why. There was an egging at the back of her mind that she couldn't identify.

Itachi shifted in his sleep again.

Something wasn't right.

"Haiku." Zetsu's voice came from the floor.

"Hn?"

"I need you to take a look at Kola."

Haiku sat up. "What's going on?"

"**We think she may be sick.**"

Haiku darted out of bed. "I'm coming."

Zetsu headed back to his room. Haiku was running there as fast as she could, forgetting in her rush she could just have teleported.

* * *

Itachi woke up, feeling the absence of Haiku. Where she had been was still warm, but by the looks of it, she had left in a hurry. He slipped out of bed, making it and heading off to get something to eat.

* * *

With her sharingan, she located a single, black dot that was the beginning of something much bigger to come.

Kola felt around for the missing blanket, but found no luck. "Cold." Kola mumbled in her sleep.

Haiku put Kola's nightgown back onto her and replaced the blanket that Kola gratefully accepted in her sleep. "Zetsu, she has it."

"…You have the cure… **Right?**"

"You'll need to take it too."

"**Kola's first**."

"You need to make sure you don't get it either. It could still be a long road to recovery from this illness even with the medicine for it from the start. You need to be strong for her too."

"I'll only take it if there's enough for Kola first."

"Remember, it's still possible for you to get it." With that, Haiku was gone.

Sitting on the couch, Zetsu held back his own tears. Kola would be ok. Haiku was going to get the medicine to heal her and everything would be fine. Zetsu didn't want to lose Kola too.

* * *

Madara sat on his bed, cleaning every inch of his trademark fan. Every now and then, he'd glance over to Muki who sat at the desk, scribbling out new contracts. Madara knew better than to ask what the contracts were for. All would be revealed in good time.

* * *

Nikku lay in bed, at last given up to try and escape his fate. He had caught his greatest creation and now it was going to be the end of him. A very painful way to die. He had never cared how his clan members had died as so long as they were dead, but now he was regretting his choice. His choice to recreate it.

He had tried to escape it by doing as Orochimaru did to possess what he had called his 'fountain of youth' but it just didn't work for him.

Nikku had taken a random body that had enough life left to it and was going to transfer his soul. Once that was taken care of, he would recreate his old body that way it'd be safe from this nightmare.

But he couldn't. It wasn't that he wasn't doing it right, it was that somehow his illness had prevented him from leaving the body.

He tried to focus his mind and keep his insides from liquefying, but it didn't allow him to concentrate for very long.

Nikku had to face it, he wasn't going to slip past death this time. His immortality would be gone and that would be that. He couldn't even concentrate long enough to give Orochimaru a body in exchange for the help he had been.

When Orochimaru came in while using the body he would have used if it worked, that's when he stuck to his resolve.

"Orochi." Nikku sneezed into the blanket. "I'm sorry to leave you like this… If only I could have gotten the medicine… from Haiku then I'd be fine."

Orochimaru's anger was building up.

"When I die, I'm passing this jutsu on to you. Think of it as…a…thank you gift."

Orochimaru instantly looked curious. "What is this jutsu for?"

"My summoning." Nikku weakly demonstrated the hand signs a few times until Orochimaru got them down. "It'll be hard to control, but you'll get the hang of it… I know you will."

* * *

Haiku dug furiously through her drawer of origami cranes, scooping them out onto the floor to get to the very bottom of the large drawer. She grabbed the bag, making sure everything was in there before teleporting back to Zetsu's room.

Placing the bag on the ground, she scooped out the two containers of her medicine, handing one to Zetsu and opening the other up. Making Kola sit up, she woke her up.

Kola blinked her eyes a few times, getting the sleepiness out the best she could. "What's that for?"

"Drink it." Haiku handed over the container, making sure Kola did as requested.

Kola handed back the container and pulled a fit. Her eyes watering up, bottom lip slightly quivering, "You gave me medicine!"

"Kola, calm down. It was for your own good." Haiku explained.

A tear ran down her cheek, "Icky medicine!"

"Kola, Nikku made you sick again. This is the only way to get rid of it."

"You have no proof!" Kola wailed.

Zetsu set the container down that he was handed after drinking its contents. "**Kola**, calm down. **For us?**"

Kola looked over at Zetsu with big chibi eyes, "But I don't like medicine." Kola found herself being hugged by her little sister. "Haiku?"

"I'm glad we caught it in time." Haiku mumbled.

"What are you talking about munch much. I feel just fine." Kola only felt the hug squeeze her harder.

"Since we caught it early, you've gotten better sooner this time." Haiku pulled away, her bangs hiding her tear stained face.

Kola pouted, "I feel all funny down there."

Haiku wiped her face, "It's because it was beginning to liquefy your-"

"All better!"

* * *

Itachi sat in the apple tree Haiku seemed to like so much. He closed his eyes, feeling a soft breeze flow by, birds chirping in a nearby tree. It was all so peaceful.

There was a crash in the distance followed by the creak of falling trees. Birds and wildlife scattered and ran from the direction of the sound.

Itachi climbed up higher into the tree, looking from the highest branch.

A tree.

And not just any tree. This one was larger than any he had ever seen. Toxic fumes drifting off it and into the air.

It looked as if it was rotting.

He watched as it pulled up it's own roots and stumbled in the direction of where Itachi sat. Crawling around slowly and destroying all in its path.

"Itachi, what's going on?" Haiku looked up at Itachi from below. "What is that smell?"

He pointed.

Haiku joined him up in the tree, her sharingan eyes widening at the sight.

"What is it?"

"Nikku's tree. The Poison Brand Tree. It's rotting from lack of Nikku caring for all these years. You can tell just from the bark."

Itachi jumped down from the tree, quickly followed by Haiku. Landing, she performed the hand seals.

"Summoning Jutsu!"

Itachi thought he was going to see Flame as usual, but his eye twitched ever so slightly when he saw the dragon before him. Black scales and white fangs exposed from a growl.

Diamond.

Itachi noticed the one spot where Diamond's scales were the weakest. The spot where her father had melted them. Haiku noticed the spot too and forced her chakra to make them more like the others around them.

"What do you want, Haiku?" Diamond's black eyes glared down at the Uchiha man in front of her.

"We need your help to check something out." Haiku replied.

"Get my brother's help."

"Why so angry today?"

"I want to kill something today." Diamond snarled. "Turn it to shreds. You haven't been letting me in very many wars lately."

"There haven't been any."

"You're not telling me **he's** coming too."

"Then I won't tell you." Haiku got ahold of Itachi's hand right before jumping onto Diamond and sitting down. "Do your best to not get seen by them."

Diamond took of at a speed that surprised Itachi. He was expecting to start off slow and then pick up the pace. He wrapped his arms firmly around Haiku's belly just in case if he couldn't stay on himself. Plus he secretly wanted to hold her in his arms once more.

* * *

Zetsu gathered those the crane he carried requested. The group sat around in the meeting room, listening to Haiku's reports on the situation. If it was serious, they'd gather the rest of the Akatsuki.

Kola was sitting next to Zetsu who on the other side of him was Madara. Muki on the other hand, decided that was where she wanted to sit, so she simply sat on Madara. Pein and Konan sat on the other side of the table. The rest of the Akatsuki did as they usually did on days off.

* * *

Diamond hid among the trees, getting disgusted by the smell and watching giant snakes being summoned. Sound Ninja assembled themselves into ranks, waiting orders from Orochimaru.

Some of the younger ones jumped from foot to foot, both nervous and somewhat excited for the upcoming battle.

Itachi leaned over Haiku's shoulder, watching her perform hand signs and muttering something softly under her breath.

* * *

Muki pulled out a piece of paper, jotting down notes when the crane created a genjutsu, displaying what Haiku saw at the enemy's base camp. There was going to be war. It had been a while since the last war of such sizes and Muki was already planning out a strategy.

Madara's grip tightened on the armrest. Itachi had his arms wrapped around his daughter. He was going to make Itachi pay. But first, they had other matters to deal with.

Kola scanned the area for Nikku. He had to be around there somewhere.

Zetsu thought to himself what they'd end up doing.

Suddenly, the two Uchiha and the black dragon were spotted. Diamond took off to the sky, flying closer and closer to the rotting tree before getting out of the sight of the enemy ranks. Snakes hissed and followed orders of Orochimaru's main snake.

The genjutsu was cut off just like that. The crane apologized and said she'd have reports from Haiku as soon as they were no longer in danger.

* * *

Diamond snarled at Haiku, "Why'd you do that? I could have taken them myself!"

"Diamond, we need reinforcements for that many summoning creatures and ninja."

"I would have been fine!"

Haiku sighed.

"What are you going to do now that you've just teleported us out of there?"

Haiku looked over at Itachi whose face was a bit paler than usual.

"Are you ok, Itachi-san?" Haiku asked.

"Haiku! Now look what you've done! Don't let him puke on me!"

Itachi accepted the little bit of food Haiku handed him. Eating it settled his stomach and he was glad he didn't throw up like the first time.

* * *

The young woman with short, brown locks pulled back on her hooded cloak. Carefully she weaved her way through the crowds of ninja preparing for the upcoming war, looking for only one among the many shinobi.

* * *

Carefully, the Akatsuki fell into the correct positions hand chosen by Muki Sotaki. With silent signals, they advanced towards the battle positions.

Muki was among the group since she didn't want to be left out, but regardless of her wishes, Madara lingered nearby. Already knowing how he'd be protective of her, she had already incorporated this into her original strategy.

* * *

Sasuke watched in wonder as the one in a dark blue cloak ran off into the trees. How she managed to kiss him, an alert ninja from the elite Uchiha Clan, was something he'd probably never know the answer to. She didn't even say a word and he didn't notice she was even there until his lips met hers. Then she was already leaving and he was too shocked to give a chase.

* * *

When she was satisfied of her distance away from the future battlefield, she pulled out a pen and notebook, crossing _Sasuke Uchiha_ off of the list. She slipped the two items back away before heading off in the direction of the Leaf Village. With any luck, a few of her next targets would all be there.

* * *

Reaching the correct point, the small group that had traveled ahead of the others, paused for the next step to take place.

Haiku concentrated all of the stored chakra in her necklace and forced it into the Dragon Scroll that was originally a gift from her father, one of his previous possessions that she had been keeping in that bag she had with her ever since she was separated from her parents.

Dragon after dragon appeared in the area, some stretching out, others analyzing the surroundings. The group that had came to this point each picked out a dragon they were familiar with. Only those who could ride dragons were chosen to come this far before the war starts.

Itachi's eyebrow twitched just the slightest bit when he saw Madara jumping onto Magma, both quickly greeting the other.

Flame nudged Itachi as a sign for him to get on.

Haiku on the other hand, picked Diamond that way Itachi would be able to ride a dragon he was used to, plus being in a war, if anyone were to ride Diamond, it would take either Madara or Haiku in order to pull it off. After all, Diamond could be bloodthirsty at times.

Kola located Willow off in the distance just a little bit since the main dragon group summoned by Haiku were the closest. What was the first think Kola did to the female dragon one may ask? Well, she offered her a whole bag of marshmallows she somehow acquired before sitting on Willow's back.

Looking around, Muki ended up climbing up onto the same dragon as Madara, perching right in front of him. It was from there in which she explained the strategy to the dragons, choosing which dragons went it which position.

Itachi looked around, seeing dragons he hadn't seen before. He remembered once hearing that the older the dragon, the more experienced and bigger it was since it was alive to grow to bigger sizes, but the dragons he saw were of all sorts of sizes, colors and shapes for that matter. He was surprised to see some of the dragons being bigger than even Magma. Yet the smallest dragons weren't too much smaller than Flame. Apparently there was an age restriction on which dragons were summoned from the way Haiku summoned them.

* * *

Sonya was crouched on Deidara's clay bird, awaiting the signal for them and the rest of the Akatsuki to advance.

Deidara got the signal and let everyone else know it was time to go forward. Those on foot jumped from tree to tree while Deidara's bird flew close to the ground, just ahead of the others.

* * *

Orochimaru giving the signal, his forces headed in the direction of the Akatsuki Base. The last to start heading forward was the giant tree, ninja hiding within the branches. It was finally time.

* * *

Willow separated with a small group of dragons to circle around catch the enemy from behind. The group veered clear around the Life Tree before Kola jumped off, summoning her own Life Tree that then attacked the rotting one, it's branches and vines wrapping around the bigger one and coating it with a flammable substance. Kola stayed within a hidden chamber at the heart of the tree, controlling it with ease due to not only being the original owner of it, but also from a ton of experience moving it around.

The group of dragons being led by Willow pulled back, away from the poisonous flowers capable of piercing most scales with barbs when shot out. Unless the dragon had unusually tough scales, only the fire dragons would be able to get through it with some ease while continuously having to use fire or be a dragon with resistance to poison. Even then, the barbs inflicted damage without the poison being there.

* * *

Magma cut through the defenses of the snakes with relative ease. As Magma took out the giant snakes, Madara took out the ninja close to those snakes being killed by his dragon. Muki had gone invisible and jumped down into the enemy ranks, causing mayhem and confusion among the groups.

* * *

Sasuke using his full body chidori killed several young dragons who had been racing towards the wrestling Life Trees and stunning another four who weren't as close as the other three had been.

* * *

Sonya stayed hidden among the dark branches as a black panther and waited for enemy to travel below before pouncing upon them and catching them by surprise. From there, she turned into a cheetah to catch up with Deidara.

* * *

Deidara frowned at the realization of how low his supply of clay was becoming. His already made clay creations rested on the wings of the bird before jumping to latch onto the targets. "Katsu!" Deidara smirked at the beauty of yet another artistic masterpiece.

* * *

Hidan was laughing wildly at the large supply of ninja to become sacrifices for Jashin while they were failing at killing him for good.

* * *

Orochimaru struggled to get his tree out of the clutches of the smaller one. Even though he had the size advantage, the other one was in better health and wasn't suffering from being squished by the other.

Large versions of harpoons were formed on the larger tree and then were used to penetrate the wood of the other tree.

Kola, sitting down cross-legged inside of the chamber patted tree as if comforting it and the pain it would be experiencing if it were an animal instead of a tree. After all, it was being penetrated in so many different ways while squeezing the life out of the other. It had strong willpower, that's for sure.

Performing the correct hand signs, the tree became covered in a thicker bark and with another set of hand signs… it became engulfed in flames.

Yes. Flames.

The fire spread to the other tree, it's grip loosening dramatically as it creaked and groaned from not only it's already weak bark being squished, but also burned and the building up pressure of the younger one.

In an effort to cool down, the older tree released a type of venom that came oozing out of the pores. Only time would tell if the tree would be able to survive such an attack.

* * *

Kola was standing in a rather large clearing with the Snake Sannin and was surprisingly taking the war somewhat seriously.

"How did you do that?" Orochimaru questioned the wavy haired woman.

"That's something that I'll be the only one to ever know." Kola nodded her head once in agreement.

Right when the Sannin was about to move, his head dropped to the ground. His body just standing upright for the briefest of moments before falling over. Behind Orochimaru stood Madara with a sword he had apparently taken from an enemy ninja.

Kola blinked a few times before reverting to her more humorous side, "I never knew his head did that too! I thought Hidan was the only one who could do that!"

Madara wiped the blood off of his face with the back of his hand. Hair blowing in the wind. "Hn."

Muki showed herself behind him, grabbing his spiky locks and messing around with them. Though it didn't take long for Madara to glare down upon his wife who then took that as an opportunity to tug him down to her level by his ebony bangs.

"_So_… If we put his head back on, will he still be alive like Hidan?" Kola's eyebrow was raised out of pure interest. Suddenly forgetting her question, she started digging into the hard soil with her bare hands.

One by one, each Akatsuki member showed up, each covered with their own battle wounds.

Haiku was leaning up against Itachi, his arm around her to keep her stable since her leg was broken. "Kola, what'd you do?"

"In order to get rid of his tree, I had to sacrifice mine." She suddenly pulled up a seed and presented it to the sky as if suddenly given a treasure by a god or goddess in which she never believed in in the first place.

"What is it?" Itachi finally asked in the middle of the long silence followed by Kola's actions.

"The seed to my Firebrand Life Tree." She cradled it to her chest. "With this, I shall grow my new tree."

"But it's so small. How would that be able to grow into the sized tree you had before?" Haiku asked, growing slightly worried about her leg that hadn't completely stopped bleeding yet and she didn't have any chakra left to heal it with.

"Everything we know could be in a seed of a fruit on an elder's life tree, ripening up for the right time and place." Everyone was shocked to hear such words of wisdom from Kola of all people.

* * *

**Afterwords:**

Sasuke found his stolen sword among the remains of his old sensei. With an impassive look plastered onto his face, he watched Kabuto try his best to bring Orochimaru's soul into a live ninja. Putting the sword where it belonged, he started off only to have Kabuto speak up. "Where do you think you're going, Uchiha? Orochimaru's going to be his old self in just a little bit."

Sasuke watched as the small tears ran down the medical nin's face. "Following my own path to power." With that, the young Uchiha was gone.

Eyes opened up and weakly a voice spoke up, "We'll have to go get him."

Kabuto smirked, wiping the tears away. "We have time. We'll have to wait another three years to use him as a vessel."

* * *

**Author's Note: So what did you think? Should I start working on Haiku & Kola 3: The Married Life? I'd have to make the rating be M since it is about what happens in the married life after all. I'll need a lot of practice for this one… ****If there's something that you'd like to request to be found in the next story, please feel free to ask by either review or sending me an email.  
**


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